No, in all these things we are more than
conquerors through Him who loved us.”
Romans 8:37
I’ve always loved to study people. Where ever I go, I watch how people behave and interact with each other. There are many people who have low confidence. How do I know this? It is easy to detect how people act and react whether they have low or high confidence. People with low confidence either respond by shying away from people and situations or they become overly aggressive and blow up at everyone around them. It’s sad, but I’ve come across more people with low confidence than those who have high confidence.
There are seven steps people can take to combat low confidence. When people take these steps, they become more confident and are able to get more out of life. Once they start building their confidence, they realize they are able to try new things and build even more confidence. I’ve included some of my own story to show the importance of these seven steps. These steps include believing God has a plan for your life, changing negative messages to positive messages, setting and reaching goals, become a lifelong learner, leaving perfection in the dust, surrounding oneself with positive people, and making a contract with oneself to not give up.
And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.
Philippians 1:6
God has a plan for everyone. Many of us believe in God, but we have no confidence in our God-given abilities. It’s important to acknowledge and develop each of our abilities. God doesn’t want us to just sit around and let our talents go to waste. He wants us to use our abilities to make Him proud and help others. When we use these gifts, we feel more complete and accomplished. Just acknowledging God’s gifts in our lives makes us more confident.
There are many people who barely get out of bed, and, if they do get out of bed, they simply move through their day wishing they were someone else. They get bored with everyday life, because they are not following their dreams. These people want more than what they have, but they tell themselves that they are unable to do any more. There is a little voice inside that says they’ll always be mediocre. This voice repeats a negative message that stops them from following their dreams, and, eventually stops them from dreaming altogether.
For many years, I listened to a negative message that said I couldn’t become a writer. When I stopped listening to the negative message and decided I would replace the voice with a positive one, I became more capable and successful. Suddenly, my dreams started coming true, and this success isn’t because I wished upon a star. This success is because I decided to change the negative message I was sending myself to a positive message.
How did I change this message? Well, it wasn’t easy. I had to rehearse the positive message over and over. Every time a negative message would pop in my head, I stopped myself and consciously started reciting the positive message. I’m not perfect and I still have to watch what messages I’m sending myself, but, the more I work on my inner messages, the easier it gets.
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me
strength.”
Philippians 4:13
Another way to combat low confidence is to set and reach small goals, which I like to call a goal plan. The key to this practice is that a person needs to start small and complete each goal and write them down. Once the smaller goals are reached, they can become larger and more complex. This helps an individual feel like they are accomplished, so they feel like bigger goals can be reached.
This was how I completed my college degree. Once I knew exactly what degree I wanted, I wrote down how many credits I already had and how many credits I needed. Next, I wrote down all the classes I needed for my degree plan and when I wanted to take each class. Finally, I wrote my desired graduation date at the top of my goal plan. This was a plan I referred to every time I got discouraged and wanted to give up. There were times where I was ready to quite, but, when I looked at my goal plan, I imagined how proud I would be when I reached my goals.
There are many people who graduate from high school or college and stop learning. They never set foot back into a classroom again. This is very bad for one’s confidence. If you continue to learn, your confidence will continue to grow. There are people who never receive a degree, but they are determined to learn something new every day.
Although we do work on and hold degrees, my husband, Brenton, and I have a pact to continue the learning process once we’ve earned our desired degrees. Even when we are not attending classes, we read books and articles that help us mature and grow. These books and articles contain information on a variety of subjects. Brenton constantly reads books about war planes and ships and he loves spiritual books that help him grow closer to God. This is a quality that I’ve always admired in him.
It is very important to remember that no one is perfect. Every day we all make mistakes and need to improve in some area. When people have high confidence, they are able to forgive their own mistakes and the mistakes of others. There are times where others may not forgive someone who has wronged them. The person in the wrong needs to admit they made a mistake and ask for forgiveness. Whether the other person forgives them or not, the person who made the mistake needs to forgive themselves.
“…for all have sinned and fall short of
the glory of God…”
Romans 3:23
Perfectionism is really just a fear. People fear imperfection, but we are all imperfect. We will all make mistakes, so we need to make mistakes our friend and learn from them. Looking at our mistakes and analyzing why we made them will help the learning process. When we make mistakes it is important to admit it and forgive ourselves immediately. This is a process I have learned. When I finally admit that I have made a mistake and forgive myself, I get relief and feel more confident.
It is extremely important to surround yourself with positive people. Take a look at who your friends are and how they make you feel. If you are down every time you talk with them, you may need to spend less time with them. Negative people are draining and make others tired. There is one person I know that drains me emotionally. Even during good times, this person puts a negative twist on everything. Sometimes, I have to create distance between us, so I don’t feel depressed and negative. It is especially important for me to watch who I am around, because, a majority of my life, I suffered with depression. Although I rarely have depression now, I still need to spend my time with positive people and avoid those who are negative.
Now, with all this in mind, determine to build your confidence by creating a confidence contract. Write down all the steps you will take to pursue a more confident you. After you write everything you plan to do, sign and date the bottom. This confidence contract is a reminder that you are serious about building your confidence. As you take steps toward a stronger confidence, you will learn who you are and your value. This contract is one of the most important contracts you will ever make, because it is an investment in you.
Confidence is an important part of success.These seven steps helped me on my quest for more confidence.Each step builds on the other, which will allow you to build confidence as you implement the steps.My challenge to you is to work on each step and watch your confidence grow.
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God;
that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”
I John 5:14