"If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done."
Ecclesiastes 11:4
There are a lot of people who are perfectionists. We all may think that someone who is a perfectionist always works to get everything perfect. This is far from the truth. Most perfectionists have imbalance in their lives. The imbalance creates depression and stress, which can affect their physical health.
Why do I know this? Well, I struggle with perfectionism. It has taken me years to get my perfectionism even close to balanced. There are still problems that I face, because I don't want to get anything wrong. In the past, if I couldn't get something perfect, then I would not try at all. Today, as I was shopping for candy and costumes for my children (tonight is my church's fall festival), I made one of my biggest breakthroughs where my perfectionism is concerned.
As I was getting my shopping done, I was thinking about my goals and dreams that I have written down. Although I have a lot of things that I would love to change about my physical appearance, I have more important goals and dreams that I want to accomplish. These goals and dreams are becoming a professional writer and author of many books. In addition to my writing, I want to have a public speaking career. At one time in my life, I thought that I couldn't be successful if everything wasn't perfect in my life. Now, I understand that if I focus on what is most important to me, then I will eventually be able to make the money I need to take care of the rest.
"Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than you."
William Faulkner
We need to not focus on perfection, but focus instead on doing better than we have done before. Every time we work on a project, we need to get better and better. This means we need to work on getting better and not giving up just because we are not perfect.
When I started writing my blogs, I worked on them with a bit of hesitation, because I was scared that the end product wouldn't be perfect. Now, I enjoy writing my blogs, because it is my passion and I am not worrying about getting them all perfect. The more I write the better I get and the more I enjoy writing my blogs.
This goes for anything in our lives. As humans, we are not perfect, but we have great possibilities if we work hard and don't give into perfectionism. As long as we do the best we can and learn from our mistakes, we will grow and develop the skills we need for each project. Failure is a part of life, so we do not need to fear failure. Actually, we need to have a healthy respect for failure and making our own mistakes. This is why children, who are not allowed to make mistakes, do not know how to learn from them and succeed in life.
"In order to go on living one must try to escape death involved in perfectionism."
Hannah Arendt
There are three characteristics that help with perfectionism. At least, they are helping me to ignore perfectionism and strive to succeed at my goals and dreams. These three characteristics are determination, diligence, and patience. When I put these characteristics into practice, I can work with more ease at even the hardest projects.
Determination
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
Calvin Coolidge
There are a lot of smart, talented people who are unsuccessful. As we go through life, we can't depend solely on how smart and how much talent we have. Although I have some talent and do pretty well in school, it never made me successful. My success comes from how much determination I can create and how hard we can work.
Determination is making up our minds to do something. If we make up our minds that we will exercise every day, then we are determined to workout. This determination is the first step, because it all occurs in our head. It is not an action, yet. When we are determined to get a project done, we usually set out and start the project with great gumption. However, this is not all we have to do.
One example of determination is when I decided to write my first complete book about success. This book is a compilation of several blogs that I posted. Although it is not totally completed, I am half way through the book, because I decided to work on it every week. Not all the blogs are going into this book, but the more I work on my blogs the more of the book is written. The determination to write a book got me started, now, the next step is diligence.
"Continuous, unflagging effort, persistence and determination will win. Let not the man be discouraged who has these."
James Whitcomb Riley
Diligence
"Learning is not obtained by chance, it must be sought for with arbor and diligence."
Abigail Adams
Diligence is the second key to breaking perfectionism. If we stop looking to perfection and start diligently working to complete each project, we will be satisfied with the results. You see, determination is our mind set, and diligence is the action. When we become determined to work on a project, we can start that project. On the other hand, diligence pushes us to complete the project.
Usually, I am pretty good at determining to start a project. What I lack is diligence. Diligence is what I have worked on, and, just in the last ten years, I have developed it more thoroughly. What I did not understand about diligence is that it isn't fun to begin with, but, after a project is completed, I feel more satisfied and enjoy the success.
My husband, Brenton, is a great example of a person who is a diligent worker. He never gives up until his projects are complete. This is one thing I admired about him when he was working on his masters at the University of Southern California. Although he didn't have much money and the program was new to him (he switched from classical voice to vocal jazz after he received his bachelors), he pushed through and worked diligently day and night. It also was difficult, because he didn't have much money. There were days that he barely had money to buy food. He shows that same kind of diligence, today. When we decide to work on a home project, he is the one that can keep going when the going gets tough.
"Patience and diligence, like faith, remove mountains."
William Penn
Patience
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer always remember, you have within you the strength , the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."
Harriet Tubman
Many might wonder why patience is thrown in with determination and diligence, and they might ask what patience has to do with leaving perfectionism in the dust. Well, I have found that it has a lot to do with conquering perfectionism and it is more than just a step that comes after determination and diligence. Patience should be used throughout determination and diligence, and it should be practice through the rest of our lives. Without patience, success would be impossible, because we would give up long before any project was done.
If someone starts to organize a family reunion, they must determine that they will start setting it up. Next, they must diligently work until the project is complete. The only issue is that if they stop practicing patience, they can give up working on the project at any phase of the process. When someone loses patience, they say it will never get done, so it is not worth the time and effort.
Patience is not my biggest strength. Like many others, I easily want to give up, so I must remind myself continuously that it is more beneficial to patiently work on each project than to give up. Most likely, we will eventually succeed, but it may take quite a bit of time. For example, when we go to school and have to take required classes, we don't know all the material after the first class. Instead, we work each day and study a little at a time. Unfortunately, we want to get to the first class knowing everything, but it doesn't work that way. That's where patience comes into play.
"Patience, persistence, and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success."
Napolean Hill
Weekly Challenge
This week we need to leave perfectionism in the dust. This means we need to start using determination, diligence, and patience to start and complete all our important projects. We need to challenge ourselves, but not expect perfection. What we need to keep in mind is that we will get better as we learn from each project.
In the last year, I have worked on my own perfectionism. Now, I am able to work on my writing without fear of failing. Even though I am not where I want to be, I am so much further than I was a year ago. Every day, my writing gets better, because I am determined, diligent, and patient with my progress.
"The habits of a vigorous mind are born in contending with difficulties."
Abigail Adams