My Monday Map to Success

The Challenge Blog Fall

This is the last blog post for 2012, and the fourth challenge blog of this series. Due to this fact, we will review the final challenges that were given this year. As we enter 2013, take some time to review your progress on all the challenges. The only way to know where you are going is to know where you are. We would like to wish you a Happy New Years and congratulations on your progress.

Self-Control

This week we need to persistently work on developing self-control. This can be accomplished through praying the Word of God. When we do, we will feel a connection with God that will develop the self-control we need in our lives. This self-control also comes through thoroughly examining our lives and getting rid of any areas that are out of control.

Here are a few questions that we need to ask ourselves:

1. Do I get angry every time I don't get my own way?
2. When I do get angry, do I instantly react to what made me angry?
3. Do I have any control issues with substances or things that are not good for me?
4. Am I constantly getting in trouble with others for my attitude at work or home?
5. Am I able to make decisions calmly, or are my decisions knee-jerk reactions?

If we said yes to any of these questions, we need to work on self-control. This isn't something that we should be ashamed of, but, instead, understand that we are a work in progress. As we work on self-control, we will see a difference in our level of joy and in the ability to get closer to others. The walls that are put up by self-destruction will begin to crumble and we will be able to live life to the fullest.

The People Blog

"Clothe yourselves therefore as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-behaved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long suffering, and has power to endure whatever comes with good temper].

 

Be gentle and forbearing with one another, and if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].

 

And above all those [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness (which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]."

 

Colossians 3:12-14

 

 

Our challenge this week is to find the right people for our lives. Not everyone will be our best friends. We need a few extremely close friends that will supply support for our purpose. Usually these people will have similar purposes and be on a similar road to success. Even some people that we like and have a great personality may not be in our inner-circle of friends, because they are on a different path. There are people in my life that are merely casual friends or acquaintances.

In Colossians 3:12-14, Paul tells us how friendship is supposed to work. In my opinion, it really tells it all. We need to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, first. Once we have Christ in our lives, we need to gently care for one another and work out our differences by forgiving one another. This causes a bond with each other that will help us grow individually and together. Our heavenly Daddy, wants us to love one another and live in harmony.

What does this all mean? We need to find the right friends for support, and we need to build our friendship skills to support them back. This type of friendship is a must for anyone to truly succeed. Most successes are not achieved with just one person. Companies can't gain success with just the CEO coming into work every day. It takes a team of people to get everything done and done correctly. When we are burned out or discouraged, we need our team member there to help us, of course, but we also need them encouraging and supporting us throughout our life so we don't get discouraged or burned out.

"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a progress; working together is success."

 

Henry Ford

 

Discouragement Blog

This week we need to study and understand discouragement. Discouragement is a part of life, but it is only an emotion that will come and go. Successful people get discouraged, but they never allow discouragement to stop them from dreaming and growing. As long as we are getting better at handling discouragement and seeking ways to get back on track, we are on our way to great success.

God has given us strength to pursue success in our lives. He wants us to succeed, because we are His examples and witnesses to the world. If we succeed and give Him the glory, others will be more willing to listen to our testimonies and we can introduce them to Christ. We need to let God empower us and infuse inner strength into us. It will be beneficial to our lives and others around us.

Other Discouragement Scriptures

"But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

 

Psalm 3:3

 

"You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,

To the end that my tongue and my heart and everything glorious within me may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

 

Psalm 30:11, 12

 

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I cam that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."

 

John 10:10

 

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you]."

 

John 16:33

 

"We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose."

 

Romans 8:28

 

"We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;"

 

II Corinthians 4:8

 

"Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day."

 

II Corinthians 4:16, 17

Leaving Perfectionism in the Dust

This week we need to leave perfectionism in the dust. This means we need to start using determination, diligence, and patience to start and complete all our important projects. We need to challenge ourselves, but not expect perfection. What we need to keep in mind is that we will get better as we learn from each project.

In the last year, I have worked on my own perfectionism. Now, I am able to work on my writing without fear of failing. Even though I am not where I want to be, I am so much further than I was a year ago. Every day, my writing gets better, because I am determined, diligent, and patient with my progress.

"The habits of a vigorous mind are born in contending with difficulties."

Abigail Adams

Temptation Blog

"Humble yourselves [feeling very insignificant] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up and make your lives significant]."

James 4:10

This week, we need to write down our temptations and make a plan to combat them. When temptations arise we need to work on studying and applying the Word to our lives, praying every day, keeping focused on dreams and goals, resisting the devil, overcoming evil with good, and standing firm. Temptations will arise, but we have a choice about how we can handle those temptations.

One thing we need to do is not hide the temptation. At one point in my life, I tried to sweep my problems under the rug, but, now, I am very open about my issues. This had done wonders for my support system. When temptations arise, I am able to freely talk with others and get help from those who care about me.

Note: There is one thing I want everyone to know about me. In the past, I have let my depression go without getting help. Finally, when I was twenty-seven, I attempted suicide. This is when I actually started getting the help I needed. In addition, I was put on anti-depressants that helped me at that time. If you feel the temptation is too much for you to handle, please seek help. My blogs are no substitute for professional counseling. Don't ever feel a shamed; we all need extra help from time to time.

Joy in the Midst of Trials

This week, I want us all to find joy even in the midst of our trials. There are positive events in our lives, but, sometimes, we are so focused on the negative events that we miss out on the positive ones. Seeing the good and bad, or negative and positive, in our lives is all perception. We choose to see the good or the bad. If we focus on positive aspects of life, we will experience a more positive life. On the other hand, if we look only at the negative, we will experience a more negative life. My prayer is that we will all choose a positive life, so we can have joy whether we experience trials or not.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

II Timothy 1:7

Praying the Word over Fear

We need to study God's Word daily and meditate on it, so we can get His Word in our hearts. Praying God's Word is a great way to meditate on it and discover the power we need to conquer fear. Fear does not have to control us, but we can cast out fear and live in victory. At first, you can use the above scriptures to pray God's Word concerning fear, but, after awhile, you need to step out and find your own scriptures to meditate on.

Praying God's Word can be used in all circumstances. There are times when I need peace, so I pray the Word for peace. Other times I need self-control, so I read and study all the scriptures I can find on self-control. God's Word is a great way to get through tough times and past trials and tribulation. God's Word is true and should be trusted in all circumstances.

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…

We must do that which we think we cannot."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Mentoring Blog

The first thing we need to do is learn from a mentor. That way we can grow from someone more experience than us. Once we are able to grow on our own, we can help others grow. It is a cycle that can be repeated over and over.

Some other things that we need to remember about mentoring is that it will require us to give others the materials they need. There are books and other materials that will help reinforce what you are trying to teach. My husband, Brenton, has given tons of books away. He gets some of his books in a box, and gives the whole box of books away.

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

Weariness

This week's blog is short due to all the work that has gone into painting and rearranging my home, but it was a lesson that I learned during all the painting. It is a lesson I want us all to think about. This week's challenge is to find peace in stressful or tiring circumstances. If there is no peace, then we need to ask God to give us peace. It is amazing what God will do when we seek Him.

"But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.

So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble."

II Timothy 1:7

For additional information on some of these topics, please check out the following links:

Self-Control

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/11/self-control.html

The People Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/11/the-people-blog.html

Discouragement Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/11/discouragement-blog.html

Leaving Perfectionism in the Dust

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/11/leaving-perfectionism-in-the-dust.html

Temptation Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/10/temptation-blog.html

Joy in the Midst of Trials

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/10/joy-in-the-midst-of-trials.html

Praying the Word over Fear

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/09/praying-the-word-over-fear.html

Mentoring Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/09/mentoring-blog.html

Weariness

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/09/weariness-blog.html

The Challenge Blog Spring

This week's challenge blogs are from this last spring. These blogs are devoted to topics such as forgiveness, passion, procrastination, relationships, depression, looking inward, the Lord's Prayer, and studying the Word. As we read through the challenges, we need to check our progress on each topic. The more we read and study each topic, the more we will grow in personal development and succeed in life.

Forgiveness Blog

We've all heard people say that they will never forgive someone else for the pain they have caused. This is so tragic, because it only hurts the person more that is carrying around the unforgiveness. Many times, the person who hurt us has gone on with their life and free from any recollection of the offense. For our own sakes, we need to forgive and renew our memories. It does not make us weak to forgive. Actually, it shows great strength on our part to forgive all offenses. What comes after forgiveness is peace, and that is worth letting go of any bitterness no matter how big or small.

    This week, we need to challenge ourselves to forgive all offenses. Take a look at your memories and find the ones that hold the most hurt. Find the lesson and good out of the situation and forgive. Every time the memory tries to come back with a negative emotion tied to it, forgive the person or situation again. Forgiveness is a habit, and we get better at forgiving as we practice. At first, forgiving may seem hard and awkward, but remember that it gets easier with time.

And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Passion Blog

My challenge to all of us this week is to find our passion. We need to write down our dreams, prepare ourselves for success, get back up and dust ourselves off when we fail, find a motivational support team, and practice until we are experts. If we will take these steps, we will become more and more passionate about our dreams. This passion has the capability of speeding up the process of success. When we are more passionate, we are more likely to focus on our dreams and work harder.

"Therefore I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men."

Acts 24:16

Procrastination Blog

This week's challenge is to take the step necessary to stop procrastination. Remember, the benefits of diligently working on a project are higher than quitting because a project gets too hard. The confidence and satisfaction of a tough project completed is worth the difficult moments. Conquering fear and completing projects is the most important step to success, so I promise to never give into procrastination and make completing difficult projects a habit in my life.

 

"Putting off an easy thing makes it hard; putting off a hard thing makes it impossible."

George Claude Lorimer

 

Relationships Blog

There are times where we have to deal with relationships that are with people we don't necessarily like. This is a situation that can be hard to deal with, but it is not impossible. It is important to find the good in everyone and treat them with respect. If we respect them, then they could turn into our friend. They may not be close friends, but anything is better than dealing with an enemy.

Our challenge this week is to build and maintain healthy relationships. If we use these relationship ingredients, we can become fulfilled in our relationships. We are relational people, so it is necessary for us to work on learning about relationships. Most of us aren't born understanding how to relate to others, but, as we grow and mature, we learn how relationships work.

"You are My friends if you keep on doing the things which I command you to do."

John 15:14

Depression Blog

Depression is hard to go through, but it is not impossible. God has a plan for my life. It is important for me to understand that I can succeed, even in the midst of depression. This week's challenge is to take the necessary steps to deal with depression. Success is my goal, and depression is just a speed bump. If I can use these techniques to get through my depression, I will be able to take giant steps closer to success and teach others to be successful, too.

"Reading makes a full man, meditation makes a profound man, discourse a clear man."

Benjamin Franklin

Looking Inward Blog

The point of this blog is to teach us the importance of working on us and not looking at everyone else's faults. This can be done by learning the fruits of the Spirit, which need to replace the fruits of the flesh. Although we were born sinners, we are now free to work on personal development that will help us through this life and into eternity.

    This week's challenge is to identify the fruits of the flesh, learn the fruits of the Spirit, and work on increasing the fruits of the Spirit and decreasing the fruits of the flesh. This will cause the greatest success of all. Not only will we be able to succeed at our relationships, careers, and personal life, but we will be able to develop a relationship with God that will be an example to everyone around us.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Lord's Prayer Blog

9     "In this manner, therefore, pray:

 

Our Father in heaven

Hallowed be Your name.

 

10    Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

 

11    Give us this day our daily bread

 

12    And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

 

13    And do not lead us into

Temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For yours is the kingdom and the

power and the glory forever.

Amen.

The challenge this week is to follow Christ's example of prayer. It is also important to set up a regular time for prayer. Some may want to pray in the morning. There are others that do better when they pray in the afternoon or evening. Whenever we set up a devotion time, we just need to consistently pray at that time. Of course, things will come up and try to steal that time from us, but we need to work as hard as we can to protect our prayer time. This is the most important time of our day.

Studying the Word Blog

Our challenge this week is to study the Word and other informational books and articles. After we have studied everything we can, we need to teach others what we have learned. Think of all this as an adventure and not just boring material that we have to learn. When we view God's Word as one exciting adventure after another, we are more likely to read and study it more than just an old book that has no relevance. Instead of reading our romance and spy novels, we need to read the Bible. The Bible is full of fighting, journeys to foreign lands, and, of course, romance.

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

Benjamin Franklin

 

The Challenge Week

    This week we need to look back at all the spring blogs. We need to work on forgiveness, passion, procrastination, relationships, depression, looking inward, the Lord's Prayer, and studying the Word. When we work on these personal developments, we grow and are more successful in every part of our lives.

    

    Lately, I have thought about how I teach my children. A lot of times, we teach children or deal with our own problems one dimensionally, but this is not as effective in the end. We need to develop ourselves and children physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This is why I write my blogs. Each blog deals with one of the topics.

To read the complete original blogs posted in the spring click on the links below:

Forgiveness Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/forgiveness.html

Passion Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/passion.html

Procrastination Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/procrastination.html

Relationships Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/relationships.html

Depression Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/depression.html

Looking Inward Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/looking-inward.html

The Lord's Prayer Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/the-lords-prayer.html

Studying the Word Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/studying-the-word.html

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Leaving Perfectionism in the Dust

"If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done."

Ecclesiastes 11:4

    There are a lot of people who are perfectionists. We all may think that someone who is a perfectionist always works to get everything perfect. This is far from the truth. Most perfectionists have imbalance in their lives. The imbalance creates depression and stress, which can affect their physical health.

    Why do I know this? Well, I struggle with perfectionism. It has taken me years to get my perfectionism even close to balanced. There are still problems that I face, because I don't want to get anything wrong. In the past, if I couldn't get something perfect, then I would not try at all. Today, as I was shopping for candy and costumes for my children (tonight is my church's fall festival), I made one of my biggest breakthroughs where my perfectionism is concerned.

    As I was getting my shopping done, I was thinking about my goals and dreams that I have written down. Although I have a lot of things that I would love to change about my physical appearance, I have more important goals and dreams that I want to accomplish. These goals and dreams are becoming a professional writer and author of many books. In addition to my writing, I want to have a public speaking career. At one time in my life, I thought that I couldn't be successful if everything wasn't perfect in my life. Now, I understand that if I focus on what is most important to me, then I will eventually be able to make the money I need to take care of the rest.

"Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than you."

William Faulkner

    We need to not focus on perfection, but focus instead on doing better than we have done before. Every time we work on a project, we need to get better and better. This means we need to work on getting better and not giving up just because we are not perfect.

    When I started writing my blogs, I worked on them with a bit of hesitation, because I was scared that the end product wouldn't be perfect. Now, I enjoy writing my blogs, because it is my passion and I am not worrying about getting them all perfect. The more I write the better I get and the more I enjoy writing my blogs.

    This goes for anything in our lives. As humans, we are not perfect, but we have great possibilities if we work hard and don't give into perfectionism. As long as we do the best we can and learn from our mistakes, we will grow and develop the skills we need for each project. Failure is a part of life, so we do not need to fear failure. Actually, we need to have a healthy respect for failure and making our own mistakes. This is why children, who are not allowed to make mistakes, do not know how to learn from them and succeed in life.

"In order to go on living one must try to escape death involved in perfectionism."

Hannah Arendt

    There are three characteristics that help with perfectionism. At least, they are helping me to ignore perfectionism and strive to succeed at my goals and dreams. These three characteristics are determination, diligence, and patience. When I put these characteristics into practice, I can work with more ease at even the hardest projects.

Determination

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."

Calvin Coolidge

    There are a lot of smart, talented people who are unsuccessful. As we go through life, we can't depend solely on how smart and how much talent we have. Although I have some talent and do pretty well in school, it never made me successful. My success comes from how much determination I can create and how hard we can work.

    Determination is making up our minds to do something. If we make up our minds that we will exercise every day, then we are determined to workout. This determination is the first step, because it all occurs in our head. It is not an action, yet. When we are determined to get a project done, we usually set out and start the project with great gumption. However, this is not all we have to do.

    One example of determination is when I decided to write my first complete book about success. This book is a compilation of several blogs that I posted. Although it is not totally completed, I am half way through the book, because I decided to work on it every week. Not all the blogs are going into this book, but the more I work on my blogs the more of the book is written. The determination to write a book got me started, now, the next step is diligence.

"Continuous, unflagging effort, persistence and determination will win. Let not the man be discouraged who has these."

James Whitcomb Riley

Diligence

"Learning is not obtained by chance, it must be sought for with arbor and diligence."

Abigail Adams

    Diligence is the second key to breaking perfectionism. If we stop looking to perfection and start diligently working to complete each project, we will be satisfied with the results. You see, determination is our mind set, and diligence is the action. When we become determined to work on a project, we can start that project. On the other hand, diligence pushes us to complete the project.

    Usually, I am pretty good at determining to start a project. What I lack is diligence. Diligence is what I have worked on, and, just in the last ten years, I have developed it more thoroughly. What I did not understand about diligence is that it isn't fun to begin with, but, after a project is completed, I feel more satisfied and enjoy the success.

    My husband, Brenton, is a great example of a person who is a diligent worker. He never gives up until his projects are complete. This is one thing I admired about him when he was working on his masters at the University of Southern California. Although he didn't have much money and the program was new to him (he switched from classical voice to vocal jazz after he received his bachelors), he pushed through and worked diligently day and night. It also was difficult, because he didn't have much money. There were days that he barely had money to buy food. He shows that same kind of diligence, today. When we decide to work on a home project, he is the one that can keep going when the going gets tough.

"Patience and diligence, like faith, remove mountains."

William Penn

Patience

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer always remember, you have within you the strength , the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

Harriet Tubman

    Many might wonder why patience is thrown in with determination and diligence, and they might ask what patience has to do with leaving perfectionism in the dust. Well, I have found that it has a lot to do with conquering perfectionism and it is more than just a step that comes after determination and diligence. Patience should be used throughout determination and diligence, and it should be practice through the rest of our lives. Without patience, success would be impossible, because we would give up long before any project was done.

    If someone starts to organize a family reunion, they must determine that they will start setting it up. Next, they must diligently work until the project is complete. The only issue is that if they stop practicing patience, they can give up working on the project at any phase of the process. When someone loses patience, they say it will never get done, so it is not worth the time and effort.

    Patience is not my biggest strength. Like many others, I easily want to give up, so I must remind myself continuously that it is more beneficial to patiently work on each project than to give up. Most likely, we will eventually succeed, but it may take quite a bit of time. For example, when we go to school and have to take required classes, we don't know all the material after the first class. Instead, we work each day and study a little at a time. Unfortunately, we want to get to the first class knowing everything, but it doesn't work that way. That's where patience comes into play.

"Patience, persistence, and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success."

Napolean Hill

Weekly Challenge

    This week we need to leave perfectionism in the dust. This means we need to start using determination, diligence, and patience to start and complete all our important projects. We need to challenge ourselves, but not expect perfection. What we need to keep in mind is that we will get better as we learn from each project.

    In the last year, I have worked on my own perfectionism. Now, I am able to work on my writing without fear of failing. Even though I am not where I want to be, I am so much further than I was a year ago. Every day, my writing gets better, because I am determined, diligent, and patient with my progress.

"The habits of a vigorous mind are born in contending with difficulties."

Abigail Adams

Mentoring Blog

"And when Moses saw that people were unruly and unrestrained (for Aaron had let them get out of control, so that they were a derision and object of shame among their enemies),"

Exodus 32:25

    Wow, what a scripture! Moses had gone to the mountain to get the Ten Commandments from God. Suddenly, God told Moses he needed to go back down and take care of the unruly people. The leadership, Aaron, had allowed the people to go crazy and worship idols and other gods. This enraged God, so it also enraged Moses.

    There are examples throughout history of bad leadership. Although everyone has the ability to lead, many do not have the training and practice to lead people. Those who lead people successfully study and practice leadership skills. As a leader in the church, it is important to study the Word, pray, and learn leadership skills. If we are leaders in business, we need to know business skills as well.

    Every leader has to go through a period of being a follower, first. When they learn their job well as a follower (subordinate), they are able to lead people and teach people in their field. As a minister, it is extremely important to work with a mentor to become a great minister. Eventually, the minister will become good enough that they can mentor someone else. This is how churches grow spiritually and establish a large membership.

    To become great mentors, we need to understand the parable of the sower (Matthew 13:18-23):

"Listen then to the [meaning of the] parable of the sower:

While anyone is hearing the Word of the kingdom and does not grasp and comprehend it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the roadside.

As for what was sown on thin (rocky) soil, this is he who hears the Word and at once welcomes and accepts it with joy;

Yet it has no real root in him, but is temporary (inconstant, lasts but a little while); and when affliction or trouble or persecution comes on account of the Word, at once he is caused to stumble [he is repelled and begins to distrust and desert Him Whom we ought to trust and obey] and he falls away.

As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the Word, but the cares of the world and the pleasure and delight and glamour and deceitfulness of riches choke and suffocate the Word, and it yields no fruit.

As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the Word and grasps and comprehends it; he indeed bears fruit and yields in one case a hundred times as much as was sown, in another sixty times as much, and in another thirty."

Matthew 13:18-23

    There are several reasons why seed is sown on bad soil. One reason that the seed does not land on good soil is lack of Biblical principles. When we do not base our lessons on the Bible, the people we mentor can be led astray by the enemy. The Bible is truth, so we have to mentor people in the Bible's truth. If we do not use the Bible, the seed can land on the roadside.

    The second reason that the seed can land on bad soil is our attitude when we mentor others. If we have a bad attitude, we hurt the people we mentor and stunt their growth in whatever area they are being taught. Many times, people are turned off from church, because people who they admire hurt them. It is important to humbly lead other, and mentor others without an arrogant attitude. This happens in the church, because, sometimes, we forget that we have been a young Christain and need to gently help others grow spiritually. Criticism is a big problem in mentorship. We need to remember that we do not want others to criticize us, so we don't need to criticize others.

    The third reason that the seed lands on bad soil is the lack of commitment on the mentor's part. As a mentor, we need to commit to helping others. If someone needs us, we need to find a way to help them. It is important to remember the benefits of helping others. There are times when we may not feel like helping others, but helping others will also help us grow. When we teach others, it helps reinforce the information for us.

    The fourth reason that the seed lands on bad soil is the lack of confidence. If the mentor is not confident in his/her abilities, we are not able to instill confidence in others. Confidence is not hard to increase in our lives, but it takes a lot of work. When we are trying to increase our confidence, we need to read God's Word and write down everything God says about us. How does God feel about us? He created us and sent His Son to die for us. This means we are very valuable to Him. As we get this truth in our heart, we will see our confidence grow.

    The fifth reason that the seed lands on bad soil is pride. As my sister-in-law, Teadran, said in our Woman's Bible Study, sometimes, we are afraid that the person we mentor will become better than us. This is a prideful spirit that can ruin any mentoring opportunities. Mentorship can make us feel very vulnerable, because we must be honest about our lives. This includes honesty about our mistakes. Some of us do not want to admit weaknesses, so we back off from mentoring others.

Biblical Mentoring Examples

    There are two famous examples of mentoring that I love to read. First, there is the story of Elijah and Elisha, and then there is the story of Paul and Timothy. Each of these examples shows amazing journeys that the mentor took with another. This is what we need to do. Find someone who we can take on our journey and train them to do the same.

"So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him."

I Kings 19:19

    This is an amazing scene, because Elijah was giving Elisha cloak and inviting him to join him on his adventure. Between the times that Elijah selected Elisha and the time Elijah was taken up to heaven, the pair went on a journey that developed Elisha into a prophet. Elisha knew what to do and how he wanted to live, because he witnessed God using Elijah to help the people of Israel. He wanted his own journey, so he was ready to sacrifice everything to get the double portion.

"When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha, "Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?"

"Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit," Elisha replied.

"You have asked a difficult thing," Elijah said, "Yet if you see me when I am taken from you, it will be yours- otherwise, it will not."

As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind. Elisha saw this and cried out, "My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!" And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his garment and tore it in two.

Elisha en picked up Elijah's cloak that had fallen from him and went back and stood on the bank of the Jordan. He took the cloak that had fallen from Elijah and struck the water with it. "Where now is the Lord, the God of Elijah?" he asked. When he struck the water, it divided to the right and to the left, and he crossed over."

II Kings 2:9-14

    Elijah gave Elisha instructions on how to get a double portion of his anointing. Due to Elisha's obedience, he was able to go on and serve as a prophet without Elijah. This is how we need to mentor. When the mentoring is over, the other person should be able to serve without us looking over their shoulder. In many circumstances, the student becomes better than the teacher and eventually does more.

I Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope,

To Timothy my true son in the faith:

Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God's work- which is by faith. The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

I Timothy 1:1-5

"Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, in keeping with the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus, To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord."

II Timothy 1:1-2

    The letters to Timothy were Paul mentoring and instructing Timothy. He knew Timothy was young and wanted to give him the instruction he needed to preach the gospel. Timothy had potential, so Paul decided to develop that potential and use it for the kingdom of God. Paul thought of Timothy as a spiritual son.

Challenge for the week:

    The first thing we need to do is learn from a mentor. That way we can grow from someone more experience than us. Once we are able to grow on our own, we can help others grow. It is a cycle that can be repeated over and over.

    Some other things that we need to remember about mentoring is that it will require us to give others the materials they need. There are books and other materials that will help reinforce what you are trying to teach. My husband, Brenton, has given tons of books away. He gets some of his books in a box, and gives the whole box of books away.

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

 

The Peace Blog

"For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you."

Isaiah 54:10

There are times when my life seems chaotic and out of control. This is when I know peace is missing. In the past, I didn't know that I could pursue and find peace. At this time, I would not only have a lack of peace for myself, but my home, family, and work would all feel chaotic. Longing to find peace, I started to work on finding peace for every area of my life, and, now, I am able to live peacefully on a more regular basis.

Peace is important in our lives, so that we can live healthy, happy lives. When we have peace in our lives, we are able to complete tasks quicker and with a more positive attitude. It is also valuable, because, most of the time, we are not peaceful due to dwelling in the past. The moment peace shows up, we find ourselves with the ability to let go of past mistakes and wrongs. This is why I know that peace gives us freedom from negative emotions. Negative emotions and peace cannot cohabitate, so allowing peace to rule our lives is the key to eliminating depression, anxiety, and other negative emotions.

Since I was a young teenager, I struggled with depression and anxiety, but I am now free due to the peace that I have found. Does that mean that depression and anxiety doesn't try to creep back into my life? Of course they do, but I now know how to combat them and regain my freedom. There are some steps that I take to regain this peaceful freedom. These steps include praying, reading, studying, and meditating on God's Word, having a positive attitude, cleaning up physical and emotional messes, and singing or listening to praise and worship.

Praying

"I will listen [with expectancy] to what God the Lord will say, for He will speak peace to His people, to His saints (those who are in right standing with Him) - but let them not turn again to [self-confident] folly.

Mercy and loving-kindness and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

Truth shall spring up from the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven."

Psalm 85:8, 10, 11

Praying is sometimes the last thing we try. When we are not peaceful, we will try everything else before prayer. There are times when we try shopping to bring us peace, but we usually end up feeling worse after we have spent the money. Other times, we try eating extremely fatting foods, but this definitely leaves us feeling horrible about ourselves and doesn't bring us peace.

If I have problems and I pray, I receive the peace that I need to carry on. When I pray, I always start with praise and worship. This helps me align my thoughts with God, and it helps me understand that He is in charge and the only one who can give me peace. Next, I give Him the situation and leave it in His hands. Finally, I end with thanks, which helps me to get in the mind-set that the problem is resolved and I am at peace. Every time I feel the peace to dwindle, I begin to thank God for His peace.

Reading, Studying, and Meditating on God's Word

"Acquaint now yourself with Him [agree with God and show yourself to be conformed to His will] and be at peace; by that [you shall prosper and great] good shall come to you."

Job 22:21

The second way to get peace back into our lives is by reading, studying, and meditating on God's Word. Reading God's Word helps us learn to live in the Spirit. When we live in the Spirit we produce His fruit, which includes peace. The Bible is packed full of scriptures that relate to peace. We need to check out the following scriptures about peace and read them when we need more peace in our lives:

Job 22:21

Psalm 85:8, 10, 11

Proverbs 16:7

Isaiah 26:3

Isaiah 54:10

Isaiah 58:8

John 14:27

Philippians 4:7

II Thessalonians 3:16

Hebrews 12:14

Studying the Word of God is a little different than reading. When we read the Word of God, we may read maybe once or twice. To study, we concentrate on each scripture and learn it, so we can apply it to our lives. One way of studying is to write a scripture on an index card or piece of paper, and reading it every time we have our devotions or do not feel peaceful.

Meditating on the Word is an intimate way to study the scripture. When we meditate on God's scripture, we think about the scripture until it is deep in our hearts and minds. Through meditation, we can get questions answered and a peace that calms every storm. For me, meditation has taken time to learn. Every time I try to meditate on the Word, I have to work on focusing my mind on the scripture and not my circumstances. Although I am learning how to meditate, I still do not meditate on God's Word like I should. Practice makes perfect, so we should be patient with ourselves and do our best.

Having a Positive Attitude

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]"

    John 14:27    

If we constantly dwell on negative thoughts, our whole attitude will be negative. When we have negative attitudes, we are more likely to worry about our circumstances. God has given us everything we need to succeed. This is why we need to change our negative attitudes to positive attitudes. Our attitudes can allow us to enjoy life and not be affected by the world.

Having a positive attitude is one of the most difficult steps for me. Every little inconsistency in my life can cause me to get irritated, so I have to watch that I immediately deal with that irritation and get rid of the negative attitude. The best way for me to deal with my negative attitude is to stop and give the negative attitude to God, and ask Him to show me what is causing me to have this attitude.

A lot of times, my negative attitude is stemming from fear, negative thoughts, or low confidence. When God shows me what is causing my attitude, I ask God to take away the negativity and replace it with love. If I follow through with this process, I find peace that calms my fears, changes my negative thoughts to positive, and gives me a confidence in who I am through Christ. Suddenly, my attitude changes and I am able to show love to others and to myself.

Cleaning Up Physical and Emotional Messes

"And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:7

When I don't feel good or my house is messy, it is more difficult to feel at peace. The last couple of weeks, I have worked on organizing and cleaning my home. This helped my house feel peaceful, so my family and friends could enjoy the house and each other.

Of course, cleaning up emotional messes is even more important to a peaceful life. It is extremely important to forgive anyone who has offended us, so that it does not leave us bitter. When we forgive others, peace can be restored to us. Other negative emotions that we need to get rid of are hate, impatience, depression, anxiety, and selfishness.

Some may wonder why I included selfishness, but I included it from personal experience. The emotion that robs me of peace is selfishness. We usually associate selfishness with children, but adults are just as selfish as children. There are times where I catch myself getting upset, because I didn't get my own way. Every time I start feeling selfish and restless, I give it to God and allow Him to change me.

Singing or Listening to Praise and Worship

"Let us therefore, receiving a kingdom that is firm and stable and cannot be shaken, offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship, with modesty and pious care and godly fear and awe;"

Hebrews 12:28

Praise and worship is a powerful way to bring peace into our lives. When I sing praise and worship, I feel a peace that stops the chaos. If I am unable to sing, I put on a CD and listen to praise and worship. Sometimes, when we are in the car and my kids are unsettled, I put on praise and worship. Each time I put on the praise and worship, the kids calm down and I feel at peace.

Some Sunday mornings, I may not feel like going to church, but, after the praise and worship starts, I feel the peace and my body no longer hurts. In God's peace there is joy and healing. It is important that I do not leave praise and worship at church. Singing and listening to praise and worship throughout the week is vital to peaceful life.

This Week's Challenge

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you."

John 14:27

When we find peace, we are more joyful and healthier. Peace can help calm anxiety and ease depression. This is why our challenge for this week is to pursue peace. We can pursue peace by praying, reading, studying, and meditating on the Word of God, having a positive attitude, cleaning up physical and emotional messes, and singing or listening praise and worship.

For additional information on some of these topics, please check out the following links:

Studying the Word

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/studying-the-word.html

Thoughts

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/thoughts.html

Positive New Language

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/positive-new-language.html

Forgiveness

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/forgiveness.html

    

The Inside Out Blog

"If you have an hour, will you not improve that hour, instead of idling it away."

Lord Chesterfield

There are times that I get frustrated with my physical appearance. There are times that I don't look good in my clothes, because I have gained extra weight. There are also times when I am not physically up to doing my hair or putting on makeup, so I put my hair up and I neglect the makeup. In my life, I have faced quite a few moments such as these. What I am talking about is feeling bad about my outward appearance, which many women I know face on a daily basis.

Women want to look beautiful, but more important they want to feel beautiful. Many times, they may look beautiful to others, but feel like an ugly duckling to themselves. They stress over their beauty and waste valuable time obsessing over their weight, clothes, hair, and makeup. It is a frustration that can consume every moment and create depression. Unfortunately, many of the television programs or movies they watch don't help them. In the end, a lot of women feel ugly and useless.

The key to looking and feeling beautiful is working from the inside out. This is a process that can change our whole life. In the last few years, it has helped me to stop wasting my time on unimportant issues. Sure, I like to look beautiful, but I realized that most the time I do look beautiful. It is all in my own perception. To really start working on the inside we need to stop focusing on our outward appearance, deal with our negative emotional issues, create a personal life plan, and do our best. Once we take these steps, we are able to feel good about ourselves without the stress of obsessing over things we can't or don't need to change.

Stop Focusing on our Outward Appearance

"What we achieve inwardly will change reality."

Plutarch

Instead of focusing on what is on the outside, we need to focus on our inward appearance. It is my opinion that there are physically attractive people that are ugly. When I meet someone that is rude and obnoxious, I find that they become very unattractive. This is true whether they are physically beautiful or not.

Character and mindset is an important part of our inward appearance. When we are negative and not open to learning and growing, we do not have an attractive inward appearance. It is vital to work on our values and beliefs. When we value ourselves and others, we are working on what is really important. This maturity is vital for true inward beauty.

When I was in my late twenties, I obsessed over my outward appearance. By the time I was twenty-six, I wore a size 6 and bought clothes I couldn't afford on credit. At this time, I was working out one to two hours a day and taking hours to get ready. In addition, I worked full time and ended up not having a whole lot of time for my two year old daughter, Snow. It is a good thing that this didn't last long. Not only did I become physically and emotionally fatigued due to lack of food and rigorous exercise, but my relationships were in need of repair.

This was when I hit rock bottom, and I knew I needed to change. At this time, I began to work on my character and inward values. Instead of obsessing over my outward beauty, I decided to change my inward beauty. From this point on my confidence grew, and my relationships began to heal. Even my relationship with my daughter is beyond what I ever thought possible. We are close, because we are both working on perfecting ourselves from the inside out. Now, I have a beautiful twelve year old (she keeps reminding me that she will be thirteen in August) daughter, and she grows in beauty daily on the inside as well as the outside. Why? Because her true outward beauty is a reflection on what is inward.

Deal with our Negative emotional Issues

"Let's not be narrow, nasty, and negative."

T.S. Eliot

The above incidence when I was twenty-six is an example of negative emotional issues. Many women carry scares that they try to hide by working on their outward beauty. They don't want to work on the negative emotional issues, because they are too painful and would mean they admit imperfection. Women tend to work excessively on perfection, and they don't want anything to obstruct their image of perfection.

Working on negative emotional issues is one of the most important parts of developing inward beauty. Hurts can make success impossible to achieve. When people hurt they usually hurt other people. This means that relationships and contacts at work can be damaged. If people can't get over their emotional pain, they usually get angry and show that anger outwardly.

For years, I wanted a writing and public speaking career, but, due to the emotional scares, I was unable to learn and grow. Most of my failure was due to inactivity. In fact, I saw myself as a failure, so I never even tried. Lately, I have realized that I am able to do anything with hard work and perseverance. This includes writing, public speaking, receiving a college degree, and taking the GRE.

The GRE is a graduate exam, which is required by many universities to start on masters or doctoral degrees. Fortunately, up to this point, I have attended colleges that didn't require GRE scores. It doesn't matter to me, though. In two years, I will graduate with my master's degree, and I intend on working toward my doctorate. Although there are doctoral programs that don't require the GRE, I want to have my options open, so I need to have high GRE scores. Why do I bring the GRE up when I am talking about negative emotional issues? This is because I am dealing with negative emotional issues that stopped me from taking the GRE. Now, I will do everything I can to prepare for the exam and take the exam. If I don't get high scores the first time, I will take it until I do receive high scores.

Create a Personal Life Plan

"It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan."

Eleanor Roosevelt

It is vital that our minds are focused on fulfilling our purpose and goals in life, so we are not obsessed with our outward appearance. This is why a personal life plan is so important. When I started working on a personal life plan for my future, I was able to do what I could for my outward appearance and spend the rest of my time on my personal life plan.

There are certain jobs that require a certain type of clothing and appearance. This is where a personal life plan can help us decide what we need to wear and how we need to act, and, because it is already written in our personal life plan, we don't have to spend hours deciding what to wear and how to look each morning. Planning is the key to inward beauty and success.

Questions to ask when developing a personal life plan:

1. What work do you do that you enjoy? (This is your purpose.)
2. What are your goals for fulfilling your purpose? (List specific goals and due dates.)
3. What education do you need to fulfill your purpose? How much education are you willing to pursue?
4. How hard are you willing to work for your goals?
5. How do you need to dress for your purpose? (Your purpose will become your career.)
6. Do you have a schedule for working on your goals daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly? (If you don't have a schedule, work on one, now. There are many articles and books that explain creating a schedule, so take advantage of these great resources.)

Now that we have each answered the above questions, we have the starting of our personal life plan. We can expand on this life plan, so it includes more than just our purpose, goals, education, and clothing. In my personal life plan, I have written vacations I want to take and my dream home. First, we start with the most important parts of our life like purpose (career), relationships, and our education. Once we have the important parts of your life planned, we can develop a plan for the vacations to tropical islands and fast sports cars. This is called prioritizing, and it is important to know what you value and place each part of your life in order of importance.

This is an example of my priorities:

• Relationships: My family is extremely important to me. This family first includes my husband, three children, and my Aunt Ellen who lives with us. Next, I live extremely close to my husband's family. They supported and helped me out after my mother passed away. My sister-in-law, Teadran, is one of my closest friends. She is always there to help out with my children and adjust my back when I am in pain (she's an amazing chiropractor).
• Purpose (career): This is important to me, because I need to stop wandering through life and focus on what makes me happy. Writing personal development blogs, articles, and books is what makes me feel fulfilled. It is also important for me to teach personal development through public speaking.
• Education: At this time, I only have my bachelor degree. In two years, I will graduate with my Masters. After I graduate with my masters, I will work on my doctoral degree. Outside of college, I read books and take non-accredited classes that will teach me different aspects of personal development.

Do Our Best

"A problem is a chance for you to do your best."

Duke Ellington

The most important part of success is never giving up and doing our best. Sometimes it feels like our best isn't good enough. When we try our hardest, our best increases little by little. After awhile, we will realize that our best is more than enough. This is because we are working from the inside out. As we focus on the inward problems, the outward problems begin to disappear, too.

When I first started writing, I didn't get very good feedback and my college papers were returned with a lot of red marks. As I practiced and started writing what was on my heart, I began to improve and receive more positive feedback. Now, my papers don't come back from my professors with as many red marks. This is due to the fact that I did my best and kept working until I improved.

Lately, I have realized that it is more important for me to complement my children on doing their best. At first, I told them how smart and talented they were, but they respond to my requests and are happier when I complement their hard work. My oldest, Snow, has begun to do chores even when I don't ask. It is a joy to see her enjoy work, learning from her work and mistakes, and pursuing her purpose with all her might.

Challenge for the Week

This week we need to work from the inward out. Instead of focusing on our outward appearance, we need to look inwardly and pursue our purpose. This can be done by not focusing on outward appearance, dealing with negative emotional issues, creating a personal life plan, and doing our best. We need to remember that what matters in life comes from within us. As we prioritize and plan for our life, we are more able to work hard and create the life we want.

When my mom died, I knew that I wanted to make the rest of my life count. In the past, I focused so much on my outward appearance, but, now, I know what is really important. Following my dreams of becoming a writer and public speaker are important, and pursuing this dream is important to my family. If I can show my family that they can succeed with hard-work, then they will pursue their dreams and become successful. Even though I miss my mom, I know she is proud of the success I have achieved in my life. Right after she died, I completed my college degree and continued on to graduate school. My mom always supported me and told me how proud she was of my accomplishments. That pride that my mom instilled within me shines through.

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind them."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Education

"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself."

John Dewey

Education is extremely important to me, now. When I was in my teens and early twenties, I didn't understand the importance of education. As soon as I graduated from high school, I went straight to work. At the age of twenty, I met Brenton who encouraged me to go to college. When I started my journey in higher education, I realized that I had not done my best in school and wasted a lot of years of my life. Unfortunately, I still didn't understand education completely, so I wasted many years in and out of college.

One thing that I learned about education is that it does not always occur in a college or university. Many times, students in college are not really receiving an education. They are simply getting through school, so they can get a diploma. After they take a class, the information is gone. There are other students who get to their graduation day and realize that they are not interested in pursuing a career in the field that they studied in school and want a different line of work.

Education can occur in a classroom, but most of the time education is learned outside the classroom. When I realized that I needed to pursue education, I started reading books and taking classes when I was not in a college classroom. This helped me realized what kind of degree and career I wanted, and showed me the purpose of my life. In my case, the purpose for my life is teaching personal development. This revelation showed me that I needed to take human behavior, psychology, counseling, and communication classes. It also helped to take writing and public speaking classes, because my passion is to teach others personal development through speaking and writing.

My question as an undergraduate was, "What do I need to do to educate myself?" There are several steps that I took to pursue my education. These steps are to discover my purpose in education, decide what steps I need to take to get an education, research my purpose and become an expert, take classes from a community college or seminar, work on my college skills, and never quit. Once I had these steps down, I was able to focus and complete each step of my education.

"Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom."

George Washington Carver

Discover my purpose in education.

"Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow."

Anthony J. D'Angelo

When I started college, I chose music as my major. As I completed my first two years of college, I decided that music was not for me. It was not something I was passionate about. Instead, I decided to complete a business degree. It was perfect for me, because it consisted of human behavior and communication classes. These were apart of personal development, which was my passion.

When I went to a community college, I took classes in music. If I had taken a more wide variety of classes, I might have found my passion sooner. Of course, sometimes, it just takes time to find one's passion. If you are choosing a degree that you don't feel passionate about, continue to look until you find your passion.

Sometimes, education doesn't have anything to do with college. There are some people who become educated and create an extremely successful career. This means they use self-education and training to educate themselves. The point of education is to never stop growing and learning. Colleges are great educational tools, because they keep you accountable and give you a degree that can increase your income.

Decide what steps I need to take to get an education.

"Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and diligence."

Abigail Adams

What steps you take depends on what purpose you decide to pursue. If you decide to obtain a college degree, then it is important to find the right college and enroll in classes. Some purposes don't require a degree, but it is still important you study the subject. There are purposes that need college degrees and certifications, and in other purposes you need a doctorate degree.

When you have found your purpose, write down all the steps you can think of that will help you in your pursuit. Once you have written down all the steps, it is important to ask an expert if you have written down all the steps. They can tell you what you are missing from your list.

For instances, if you want a career as an educator, it is vital that you get at least a bachelors degree and a certification. There may be other requirements for a specialized teacher, so this is where the list of steps comes in handy. As you complete each step, cross it off the list or put a check mark next to the completed step. This will help increase your confidence as you continue through your list.

Research my purpose and become an expert.

"Education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't know."

Anatole France

The most success and educated people have studied their subject until they are experts. This is important to anyone developing a successful career. For example, when someone decides they want to become a lawyer, they read and learn the laws and what it takes to have a career in law. It is better for a person to study and become an expert even before they take classes. There is a book written almost on every subject, so there is no excuse for lack of knowledge.

When I decided to pursue a career in personal development, I started reading every book on the subject. It was important for me to get all the information I could, so I could write blogs and teach others. Now I am getting my degree in human relations, which includes human behavior and communication classes. These classes are a part of personal development, and I use the information I receive from these classes to further my personal development career.

Take classes from a community college or seminars.

"Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere."

Chinese Proverb

It also might be beneficial to take classes from a community college or a seminar. When my husband, Brenton, wanted to pursue art, he went to a community college. He only paid $108.00 for a semester, and he learned about different aspects of art. Now, he uses that knowledge to create art and help our daughter with her art. There are also many community classes that are even cheaper than community college. Our older children, Snow and Danny, have participated in community classes, which were beneficial in keeping them entertained and educating them at the same time. One summer, Snow took a fashion designing class and Danny took a building class.

There are also different seminars or non-credited classes that are not as expensive as community college tuition. One time, I took a writing class that helped me to discover my passion for writing. It also showed me how to create essays, books, and business documents. This was a class I never will forget, because of the valuable information I received. It was online, so I never had to leave my home or my family.

Work on college skills.

"Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you have something to learn, and this will mean all of your life."

Henry L. Doherty

Writing Skills

It is important to know how to write. Most work in college is writing one paper after another. If you know how to write research papers, you can pass almost any class. This can be learned through books, college classes, community classes, or seminars. In the last twenty years, I have attended many writing seminars and classes. It has helped me to become a successful writer and college student.

Math Skills

Math skills are useful in everyday life. This is why it is important to continually perfect math skills. This is especially true if you decide to attend college. Math classes will be a necessity for undergraduate, and it is a necessity for some graduate classes. Although I am not a math genius, I do work on my math skills, so I can be successful in business math and personal finances.

Organizational Skills

There are some people that may moan when they read organization skills. It may not be something you are good at, but it is necessary to success in every area of life. This is a fact that I learned in college. When I was careless with my papers and didn't keep a notebook, I didn't do as well. Now, I always organize my graduate work, so I can be a successful student. Every year, I try to take an organizational class or read books that will help me organize my life.

Never quit!

My primary goal in life is to never give up. This is something I want to inspire others to do, too. If you give up, you will never reach your potential and never succeed in your life. For years, I wasted time giving up every time I could not do something perfect. Now, I know that even if something is not perfect I will succeed if I never give up.

My daughter, Snow, is a great example of a person who never gives up. When she starts to draw a picture, she sometimes messes up and has to throw the picture away. This does not mean she gives up. She literally sits and draws for hours trying to perfect her picture. There are some pictures that she works on for days or weeks (she does take breaks, though!), so she can get the picture just right. Rarely have I ever seen her abandon a picture idea altogether. She always gives each picture her all, and that is why her artwork is so amazing.

Our education should be the same as Snow's artwork. We need to constantly work on educating ourselves until we are experts. Once we are an expert in one area, we need to find another topic, so we can become an expert, again. This educational process is continuous, and it should never stop until we die. Of course, it is important to aim at living until you're a hundred, so you can learn almost everything.

Challenge:

This week's challenge is to become a lifelong self-educator. Do this by deciding what your purpose is and how to educate yourself in that purpose. After you have found your purpose and educated yourself, use your purpose to help others. The whole point of education is sharing it with others.

When I decided that I wanted to pursue personal development, I also wanted to teach others how to pursue personal development for themselves. In the last two years, I have started teaching classes, Bible studies, and writing blogs. At the moment, I am in the middle of writing a book and preparing for success seminars. Now, it is your turn to educate yourself and teach others.

"A human being is not attaining his full heights until he is educated."

Horace Mann

Studying the Word

"A Person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."

Mark Twain

 

"For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart."

Hebrew 4:12

 

It is important to make the Word of God active, operative, energizing, and effective in our lives. The Word is like a sword, and the sword penetrates our soul and cuts out all sin. Our thoughts and the purposes of our hearts are the most important part of who we are, so God's Word exposes, sifts, and analyzes and judges our heart and minds.

 

This is why studying the Word of God is so important to who we are and who we become in life. When we just read a few scriptures from time to time, it doesn't mature us spiritually. For us to fully become who God created us to be, we must habitually study God's Word.

 

Until we decide to study to show ourselves approved, we will stay stale and complacent in our life. The Word is our guide, so without the guide we wonder aimlessly through life. The fulfillment of our purpose is dependent on how much we study the Word.

"But he who keeps (treasures) His Word [who bears in mind His precepts, who observes His message in its entirety], truly in him has the love of and for God been perfected (completed, reached maturity). By this we may perceive (know, recognize, and be sure) that we are in Him…"

I John 2:5

What does it mean to treasure God's Word? Let's think about how we treasure our valuables. There are many books and movies about adventures scouring the earth for treasure. This is the way God wants us to pursue Him. We do this through understanding His Word.

 

What happens to those who treasure God's Word? What happens to those who find treasure? People who find treasure become rich. They acquire wealth beyond their wildest imagination. It also creates a confidence, which propels them into the next treasure hunt. An adventurer that finds one treasure doesn't stop. Every treasure they find becomes more exciting. My favorite treasure movies always have sequels, so I can watch my heroes get the gold and the girl over and over, again.

 

"Life is either a great adventure or nothing."

Helen Keller

Studying God's Word should be like a treasure hunt. Many of us view God's Word and Christianity as boring, but even the characters throughout the Bible didn't live boring lives. Every story in the Bible is an adventure, and, of course, Jesus' story had more adventure than all of the other characters combined.

We never need to think of studying God's Word as drab. It is an amazing experience when we study God's Word like a treasure map. The more we study, the more secrets are revealed. As God's secrets are revealed to us our lives are changed.

 

How do we know when we have found God's treasure? The scriptures have two purposes. First, as I said before, it is a map that leads us to treasure. Second, it is full of clues to where we can find the treasure and how to live our lives. This also includes instructions on what we must do to discover the treasure, which are God's secrets. These secrets provide understanding of God's heart. He wants us to know His secrets, but He wants us to seek and find them. The ones who desperately seek God's treasure will find it and live a rich, prosperous life.

 

Every time we study God's Word, we uncover a little piece of the treasure. To say it another way, we find more and more clues. These clues connect together to form our understanding of God. When we get lost, which we all do from time to time, we have a map to get us back on course. The more we understand god's Word, the quicker we get back on our designated course and back on our adventure of finding treasure.

 

"But He said, Blessed (happy and to be envied) rather are those who hear the Word of God and obey and practice it!"

Luke 11:28

 

When we read, listen to, or practice the Word, we become blessed. Everyone wants a blessing, so it is necessary for us to study the Word. Many times when we think of blessings, we think of financial blessings. There are more blessings than just financial.

 

As a young child, I remember two things more vividly than anything else. First, I remember playing in the front yard trees, and, second, I remember my mom praying and studying the Word. At that time, we had some real problems in our home and needed some changes.

 

We went from a frustrating and abusive environment to a more peaceful environment. God brought us out of our bad situation, because my mom knew His Word and put it into practice. My mom received the blessing of change and security.

 

Joy can be a blessing that is given to those who study God's Word. When I go through depression, reading the Word can help bring me out of the pit. Suddenly, joy creeps in and I feel good, again. This is a blessing that may not come right away, but the more I read the Word, during the times of depression and the times of relief, the more joy I experience.

"Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth."

II Timothy 2:15

The Bible tells us to Study to show ourselves approved. We need to understand God and the world He created, so it is important for us to study God's Word. It may seem like we never have time to study, because we are busy and never have enough time. Studying God's Word should be just as much a priority as praying.

Although our lives get busy, there are ways for us to study that will help get the Word in our hearts. These ways are similar to studying for school. Find a scripture that we want to learn. Write the scripture down and analyze each part. It is best to write down whole scriptures like books, chapters or multiple verses, so we can get the scripture in a bigger context.

If there are words that we do not know, it is best to look them up in a dictionary. When there are names within the scripture, it would be beneficial to look them up, so we can learn more about the people throughout the Bible. The most knowledgeable people I know study the Word this way.

 

It is also vital that we get together with others and discuss the scriptures. This will help us learn from someone else's perspective. Brenton and I discuss scripture and other books that we read, and I have learned more from these discussions than just studying on my own.

In addition to the above, I also create forms that I use for studying. These forms I use to write down all the information, which is very helpful for studying the Word and studying for school. Some of the forms I created were designed to help my daughter, Snow, through science and social studies. Now, I use them to collect all the information I need to know, so I can go back and review or use the information as a reference for other studies.

"Let the Word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds and dwell in you in [all its] richness, as you teach and admonish and train one another in all insight and intelligence and wisdom [in spiritual things, and as you sing] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to God with [His] grace in your hearts."

Colossians 3:16

 

The next step to really studying the Word of God is to teach others. When we learn a scripture, we can teach someone else about our findings. What this does is twofold. First, it helps us learn more about the scripture. It is proven that when we teach others, we learn more. In schools, the students that learn and then teach will comprehend more information than those who do not teach others. This I have actually seen for myself as I homeschool my children. If I have them teach each other and me what they learn, they are more likely to retain the information long after they take the test.

Second, teaching actually is discussed throughout the Bible. The scripture above is an example of God telling us we need to teach others what we learn. For example, the disciples were taught by Jesus. After Jesus left the Earth and ascended into Heaven, they went everywhere they could to teach the gospel to others. If they needed to teach others, we do need to follow their example.

Our challenge this week is to study the Word and other informational books and articles. After we have studied everything we can, we need to teach others what we learn. Think of all this as an adventure and not just boring material that we have to learn. When we view God's Word as one exciting adventure after another, we are more likely to read and study it more than just an old book that has no relevance. Instead of reading our romance and spy novels, we need to read the Bible. The Bible is full of fighting, journeys to foreign lands, and, of course, romance.

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

Benjamin Franklin

Forgiveness

For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Matthew 6:14

Forgiveness is harder than most of us think. Many times we think once we say we forgive someone it is over, but usually the feelings that are associated with unforgiveness keep creeping back. We need to constantly forgive as anger, hurt, resentment, or bitterness show up. Sometimes we may not know why we have these emotions and need to find the hurt that caused them.

How fast we forgive depends a lot on who has offended us. Sometimes, the person who has offended us is an acquaintance or stranger, so we can easily forgive them and go on. On the other hand, if the person who offended us is a close relative or friend, it may be harder to forgive. We trust people who are closer to us, so it hurts more when they betray us. My husband, Brenton, always says that I could hurt him the most, because we are closer and trust each other more.

"Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.

Hannah More

The following excerpt is from a story I am writing called "Driven to Forgive". Chris is a very intelligent young man who always loved books. His father on the other hand was a strong man who worked with his hands. They both had their own area of expertise, but Chris' father, James, couldn't see the importance of books and college. We will enter the story as Chris is returning home after years of separation. This trip could change Chris' life and bring peace and healing to him and his father, but it also could bring more dissention. Chris knows that he has to forgive his father before he gets home.

Chris began to question the wisdom of this trip. It had been a long time since he saw his dad. He had an urge to turn the car around and go home, but he looked over at his wife and knew she would never let him. Chris looked in the rearview mirror at his little boy and smiled. His mother needed to see her grandson, and he could never punish his mom for what was between his father and him.

Jim worked hard and earned a good living with his hands. He had worked in construction his whole life. According to Jim, any man who didn't work with his hands was lazy. This was especially true for students. The college graduates he worked with were lazy and worthless. The last words Jim said to Chris cut deep into his heart.

"Chris, are you okay?" asked Jenna. "You look flushed."

Chris was startled by Jenna's question. He just looked ahead in silence. He tried to find the words to explain his emotions. Finally, Jenna put her hand on his shoulder. Jenna knew this trip was hard for him, but she insisted that it was important for him.

"I know you're angry, baby," she said compassionately. "You need to forgive your dad. He didn't mean to hurt you. Actually, I think he was just trying to help."

Jenna was probably right, but Chris had a hard time forgiving his dad's words.

Chris wasn't as physically strong as his dad. He loved books and studied hard in school. On the day of his high school graduation, Chris longed to hear words of praise, but was met with silence. The next day, Jim took Chris to find a job. All summer Chris worked hard, but secretly anticipated the start of college. He knew his father would be upset, but he was not prepared for the confrontation that awaited him. The day before he left for college came, and he knew he had to tell his father.

"No son of mine will become lazy and worthless," Jim shouted at Chris when he announced he was attending college. "You need to stay here and help this family."

"I have a scholarship," Chris shouted back. "I can't give up everything I have worked for."

"Worked?" Jim laughed. "That's not Work!"

As Chris stared at the disappearing road, tears began to roll down his cheeks. Jenna turned to look at Chris and noticed how the tears made his dark brown eyes glisten. She ran her fingers through his brown hair, which snapped him out of his trance. Chris looked at Jenna and tried to speak, but the hurt was too much.

This is tough on Chris, because all he has ever known was hurt. His wife, Jenna, knows she needs to remind Chris of his father's good qualities, so he can stop focusing on his hurtful words. It is important to focus on the good qualities of a person when you forgive them. Our minds hold onto images of what we see, hear, and do. Each person who enters our lives is drawn into our minds. When they hurt us, the image we see is of hurt and betrayal. After we forgive them, we must change that picture or we will continually go back to the hurt.

In this next scene, Chris is thinking about his relationship with his father. As Chris looks at the events that occurred with his father, he realizes that his bitterness had distorted his view of James. He begins to understand that forgiving his father was about changing his past images.

He slowly walked back to the car. Chris got in the car and back on the highway. The caffeine helped calm his nerves. Now he could focus a little more. This was the time he needed to think. It was quite as Jenna and Alex slept, so he began to think about Jenna's advice. She had always told him he needed to think about the positive moments with his dad. His anger had preoccupied his thoughts where his dad was concerned.

As he thought about his time spent with his dad, he remembered his fishing trips. They were always lots of fun. There was one fishing trip that he remembered the most. It was a time that Chris learned a lesson he would never forget. Even though things didn't turn out like Chris hoped, Chris walked away with a lesson that he still used.

"Chris, it's time to get ready," Jim said as he shook him gently.

"Dad, I'm too tired," Chris moaned as he turned over.

"Come on, son," Jim said with a smile. "You know, the early bird gets the worm."

As Chris turned over, he looked up at his father with confusion. "What does a bird getting a worm have to do with fishing?"

Jim laughed as he pulled his son out of bed. "Chris, Aaron and Jason are already up and planning to leave early."

"Jason?" Chris asked. "Oh, man, it's fishing day!" Chris knew he couldn't let Jason beat him to the lake. Like a rocket, Chris started getting dressed. Jason was Chris' best friend, but they were very competitive. Jason would get to the lake and steal the best fishing spot. Chris knew he had to hurry.

As soon as Chris was dressed and ate his breakfast, he went looking for his dad. He found him in the garage. Jim was busy packing the van. As Chris walked into the garage, he was putting the fishing poles in the back of the van.

"Dad, can I help you?" asked Jason. "I'm done with breakfast and ready to go."

"Sure," said Jim. "Put the cooler and the blankets in the van. I need to go tell your mom we're leaving. I'll be right back"

Chris nodded and headed for the cooler and blankets, which were sitting in the corner of the garage. While Jim went to tell Martha they were leaving, Chris put the cooler and blankets in the back of the van. After he made sure all the van doors were closed, he got into the van and put his seat belt on. He was getting really excited. He was only fifteen, so his patience was fading. They might have a chance at beating Aaron and Jason, but they would have to hurry. "Come on, dad," thought Chris.

Finally, Jim appeared at the door with his back pack in hand. He got in the van and they were soon driving down the street. The lake was an hour away, so Chris got comfortable. Chris took out a book from his back pack and started to read. Traffic was light, so Jim and Chris got to the lake in fifty minutes.

As Jim pulled the van into a parking spot, Chris' heart sunk. There by the edge of the lake stood Jason. He had his fishing pole in his hand, and was getting into his father's boat. Aaron waved at them as he started his boat. Jason also grinned and waved, which annoyed Chris. Jason had won and Chris knew it was his fault. Chris had learned his lesson.

"Dad, I get it now. Jason was the early bird, so he got the best fishing spot. I'm really sorry," Jason sighed.

Jim smiled and put his arm around Chris. They walked to the boat in silence. "Chris, I have a secret," Jim said as they untied their boat from the dock.

"What is your secret?" Chris asked with curiosity.

"I know another good fishing spot," Jim answered. It's a spot my father took me fishing when I got up late."

Chris felt much better, but knew that next time he would wake up a lot earlier. Jason wouldn't ever beat him to the lake again.

As Chris thought about this lesson, he realized that almost every situation had a lesson. He and his father fought quite a bit, but Chris understood that most of his own principles came from one of his dad's lessons. Suddenly, Chris' perception of his father started to change. He saw his father as a teacher not a tyrant. There was only on memory that clouded his mind. That memory was the night that his father put down his work and called him lazy. Chris didn't know if he could forgive these words.

Of course, the story isn't finished, so we'll have to wait to see the outcome for Chris and James, but, the more Chris forgives, the more peace and calmness he will experience. This is also true for us, so we like Chris need to work diligently on forgiveness. The more we forgive the more healing we will experience physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially.

All of us have memories that are painful. If we can do what Chris did and replace hurtful memories with positive ones, we can start to forgive and let go of the pain. Unfortunately, there will always be a memory that takes more work to get over. Many of us have fathers who have hurt us and we feel betrayed by them. Others have mothers, sisters, or best friends that lied to us or put us down. Most of the time, we have multiple hurts that have scared our lives, but, when we go through the healing process and forgive, those scares begin to fade.

Judge not [neither pronouncing judgment nor subjecting to censure], and you will not be judged; do not condemn and pronounce guilty, and you will not be condemned and pronounce guilty; acquit and forgive and release (give up resentment, let it drop), and you will be acquitted and forgiven and released.

Luke 6:37

When Brenton and I were first married, we carried a lot of unforgiveness. It ate away at us until we were extremely angry. After a few years of marriage, we decided it was time to start forgiving, because we were both miserable. Now, if offenses are made, we immediately deal with them and forgive. This doesn't mean we have completely forgiven everyone that hurt us. Most of us have people in our lives that either hurt us deeply and it is harder to forgive them or they still hurt us each day. Some people we may have to forgive every time they walk in the room.

There is a concept that I came up with several years ago concerning forgiveness. This is a routine that I do as a married woman, but it can be done for anyone who tends to hurt us regularly. When I get up in the morning and before I go to bed at night, I forgive Brenton. It stops any hurt, resentment, and bitterness from creeping into our relationship. Now, that does not mean I don't have to forgive him during the day, but it does get me in the habit of forgiving immediately.

Another practice that Brenton and I started is to talk about the things that bother us. This sounds simple, but most of us don't want confrontation or it is hard to calmly communicate our thoughts and feelings. A few days ago, I was going through the photo album in my mind and forgiving certain people of hurts they have caused me. As I got to Brenton, I realized there were hurts that I needed to forgive. At that moment, I began to write Brenton a letter that described the hurt and how it made me feel. When Brenton got home from work, we sat down and I read him the letter. He in turn explained some hurts that he felt; we forgave each other, and left the hurt in the past.

Sometimes, there are people we cannot be this open with, so we may need to write the letter, read the letter out loud, and then throw the letter in the fireplace to burn. The act of burning the letter is symbolic of ridding ourselves of the unforgiveness. Once the letter is burned and unforgiveness gone, we need to replace the old hurtful memories with pleasant memories of the person or situation. If there are no pleasant memories associated with the person or situation, we need to find a lesson that we've learned from the situation and give them the credit or strength and talent that the person possesses. It will help to focus on the new memory, lesson learned, or strength of a person when the unforgiveness tries to creep back into our minds and hearts.

 

"When a deep injury is done us, we don't fully recover until we forgive."

Alan Paton

 

We've all heard people say that they will never forgive someone else for the pain they have caused. This is so tragic, because it only hurts the person more that is carrying around the unforgiveness. Many times, the person who hurt us has gone on with their life and free from any recollection of the offense. For our own sakes, we need to forgive and renew our memories. It does not make us weak to forgive. Actually, it shows great strength on our part to forgive all offenses. What comes after forgiveness is peace, and that is worth letting go of any bitterness no matter how big or small.

This week, we need to challenge ourselves to forgive all offenses. Take a look at your memories and find the ones that hold the most hurt. Find the lesson and good out of the situation and forgive. Every time the memory tries to come back with a negative emotion tied to it, forgive the person or situation again. Forgiveness is a habit, and we get better at forgiving as we practice. At first, forgiving may seem hard and awkward, but remember that it gets easier with time.

And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Positive New Language

 

“The words you choose to say something are just as important as the decision to speak.”

 

Unknown Author

 

 

 

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge it is shall eat the fruit of it [death or life].

 

Proverbs 18:21

 

 

 

When we speak uplifting words, our mood is more positive.The words we speak direct our life and remind us of how we are doing.If we say we can’t do something, most likely we won’t.Using positive words over and over opens up our minds to creative solutions.Think about death and life and how we can either create positive success with our words or kill success.Most of our success is up to us, because, when we start using negative language, we kill any opportunity for success.

 

 

 

Success starts with thoughts, but it can be made a reality with our words.As we think about an idea or solution, we positively talk about it and get even more ideas or we can squelch its success altogether.Of course not all ideas are worth keeping around, but, even when an idea is not great, the words we speak need to fuel our desire for success.

 

 

 

When I was in high school, I constantly spoke in the negative.It became my language, and it brought not only me down but others around me.My attitude always lined up with what I said.This, of course, means that I was constantly depressed.When I realized that my words were my problem, I started working on how I talked.This meant I needed to learn a new language.This language wasn’t English, Spanish, Italian, French, Chinese, or any other type of foreign language.It was a positive language that would bring me success and happiness.

 

 

 

Even now, I have to constantly work on what I say.As an adult and a parent, I am also aware of the people around me, especially my children.In the past twelve years, I have passed on my negative talk to my children.Now, I have to take the time to reprogram them and teach them my new positive language.This isn’t easy, because I still have moments where I slip and speak negatively.Well, as we all know, children usually do what they see their parents do.Fortunately, I’m getting better at speaking the positive language, so my children are getting better about what they say about themselves and their own situations.

 

 

 

There are ways that we can learn to speak a positive language.It will take time, but eventually it will get easier.This positive language can be learned by exchanging our negative talk with positive talk, watch what is influencing our positive language, find positive speaking friends, and use positive affirmations and meditation on a daily basis.These steps will help change our language, and, the more we use these steps, the more fluent we will become in our new positive language.

 

 

 

“But I tell you, on the day of judgment men will have to give account for every idle (inoperative, nonworking) word they speak.

 

 

 

For by your words you will be justified and acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned and sentenced.”

 

Matthew 12: 36, 37

 

 

 

The instant we say a negative word, we need to change it to a positive word.If we continue to say negative words, we will continue to think negative thoughts and our actions will be negative.This means we will have fewer successes in the long run.One way we can change our negative language is to think before we speak.If we do say a negative word, it is important to have a positive word to counter act the negative one.

 

 

 

There is one problem with switching negative talk with positive talk.Most people don’t know the positive talk vocabulary.This was something I had to learn. Although I have worked on speaking positive words for many years, I still mess up at times. For example, if there is a time I burn dinner, negative talk would be, “Well, that was stupid.”On the other hand, positive talk would be, “yeah, we get to go out to eat!”

 

 

 

The positive vocabulary doesn’t make us feel like total losers.Instead, we still feel good about ourselves and think creatively about the situation.In this situation, we can even laugh at our mistake and not punish ourselves.With this kind of talk and attitude, we can enjoy life and be an example of joy to everyone around us.

 

 

 

Another way to change our talk is to make a list of all the negative words we speak.While we go through our day, we need to take a small pad and pen with us and write down our negative words.Next, we will create two columns on a sheet of paper (more than one page may be required), and on the left side of the paper we will write all the negative words we used through the day.On the right hand side, we will think of new positive words we can use.The right column holds the key to our new positive language.We need to memorize every new word or phrase that replaces the old ones.

 

 

 

“The mind of the wise instructs his mouth, and adds learning and persuasiveness.”

 

Proverbs 16:23

 

 

 

There is a children’s song that talks about watching what we say, hear, and see.This is not just true for children.We need to all be careful of what is influencing us.Are we allowing outside influences to give us negative messages?If we hear a negative message, we need to immediately counteract it with a positive one.If we dwell on negative messages too long, they set up permanent residence in our mind and eventually seep out of our mouths.

 

 

 

This is why we have to guard our minds, eyes, and ears.We can do this by limiting our television time, listening to uplifting positive music, and reading books that encourage, motivate and use positive language.From time to time it’s okay to watch the news or read nonfictional and fictional books that don’t motivate, inspire, or use positive language.We just can’t make it a habit, because we can easily revert back to our old negative language when we see or hear too much negatively.

 

 

 

“Set a guard, O Lord, before my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.”

 

Psalm 141: 3

 

 

 

There is another way to learn a positive language and keep speaking positively, but it is not always easy and it takes a lot of hard work.This is finding positive, uplifting, and supportive friends.In today’s society, finding these kinds of friends is hard.Due to negativity’s strong pull, there are fewer positive people.When we do find positive friends, we need to cherish them.They are priceless and worth keeping.

 

 

 

Due to the fact that we can’t always have positive people around us, we need to try and help people in our lives to exchange negative talk with positive.If it is possible, we need to limit our time with the friends and family that bring us down.It is hard to separate yourself from friends and family that we have strong ties with, but it is important to the survival of our new positive language.

 

 

 

“For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days [good- whether apparent or not] keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile (treachery, deceit).”

 

I Peter 3:10

 

 

 

When we read or hear about positive affirmations and meditation, we usually laugh and think it is silly.Yet, positive affirmations and meditation have helped many people find true happiness and success.We use affirmations and meditation to replace the old negative language.Many people give themselves negative affirmations, so positive affirmations feel uncomfortable.

 

 

 

When I use positive affirmations, my joy and hope rises.There are times when I am feeling down and useless.At these times, using positive affirmations makes me feel happy and gives me hope.For example, if I am feeling bad about myself, I need to say, “I am doing what God created me to do.”When I say this affirmation, I feel excited and ready to face any difficulty.

 

 

 

Positive affirmations should be in the present tense and need to express an action.They should be spoken out loud two to three times a day.This isn’t done to tell God what you need, want, or who you are, but it is for your own benefit.As I said before, you are replacing the old negative language with new positive language.We need to say it over and over again, because the old messages are engrained in our minds and we are use to speaking in the negative.

 

 

 

Meditation is a great way to get positive thoughts into our minds.We can contemplate on our affirmations, scriptures, or inspirational quotes.This is done by taking the affirmation, scripture, or quote and thinking about it over and over again until it is permanently sketched on our brains.

 

 

 

As we use these techniques, we train our minds to think positively and our mouth to speak positively.Once we start building this new vocabulary, we will find ourselves automatically using positive words, even in difficult situations.This week’s challenge is to learn this new positive language and banish all negative vocabulary.

 

 

 

“Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.”

 

Ephesians 4:29

 

 

 

“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will his world and the world at large.”

 

Confucius

 

Thoughts

 

“The thoughts of the [steadily] diligent tend only to the plenteousness, but everyone who is impatient and hasty hastens only to want.”

 

Proverbs 21:5

 

 

 

Many times we hurt ourselves by our own thoughts.When we aren’t careful, we can think on things that don’t benefit us.These thoughts are destructive, and they can destroy our lives.Each day, we need to think positively about our situations.Even if our situation is looking grim, we can use our imaginations to see what our lives were created to look like.

 

 

 

God didn’t create us to live in the dump.Some of us may live in nice homes, but, when it comes to our thoughts, we live in filth.There are ways to combat these negative thoughts.Of course, we need to willingly and diligently work on our thought patterns.They are a valuable asset to the success we create in our lives.

 

 

 

“A man is what he thinks about all day long.”

 

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

 

In my first blog, I stated that my desire is to help people with personal development.Success is the end product of personal development, and positive thoughts are the path way to success.If we do not change our negative thoughts to positive thoughts, we will never get unstuck from our own personal dump, pursue our dreams, and succeed in our lives.

 

 

 

In Proverbs 21:5, we are taught that our thoughts should be plenteous.Plenteous means to have plenty, which means our thoughts could yield plenty of success.Our thoughts could help us financially, physically, emotionally, socially, mentally, and in any other way that is needed.Our thoughts can stop success in these areas dead in their tracks.

 

 

 

So, how do we have thoughts that produce abundance in every area of our lives?

 

 

 

“For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].”

 

Philippians 4:8

 

 

 

Many of us have bad habits that affect our thoughts.These bad habits either cause useless thoughts or destructive thoughts.If we don’t change these bad habits, we’ll never grow and mature in any area of our lives.These kinds of thoughts are powerless, and powerless thoughts lead to inactivity.

 

 

 

The bad habits that I’m talking about are thinking negative thoughts, allowing television and movies to serve as a main source of education and information, a lack of reading quality literature and spiritual inspiration, and lack of integrity.There are ways we can change these habits, but it takes action.

 

 

 

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.As one who reckons, he says to you, eat and drink, yet his heart is not with you [but is grudging the cost].”

 

Proverbs 23:7

 

 

 

If we constantly dwell on negative thoughts, our whole attitude will be negative.It takes work to exchange negative thoughts with positive ones.Usually negative thoughts come from low self-esteem.One way to switch to positive thoughts is by reading scriptures that talk about who we are in Christ.We are His children and He loves us.This gives us reasons to rejoice, which is a positive thought that can change our whole outlook on life.

 

 

 

It is also important that we watch what we are thinking.If a negative thought pops into our heads, we need to immediately change it to a positive thought.This is very hard for many of us to do, because negative thoughts are ingrained in our minds.We’ve grown up with these negative thoughts, so we must constantly remind ourselves to think positively.

 

 

 

We even need to watch how we pray.When we keep our prayers positive and hopeful, our thoughts line up with that prayer.The opposite is true, too.If we keep our thoughts positive our prayers will be positive.Yes, there will be times when we pray for something very serious, but, even when the situation is bad, we need to acknowledge that the situation will change for the better.Bad situations come and go, but we need to create positive thoughts continuously.This especially means no whining and complaining.

 

 

 

“[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)…”

 

II Corinthians 10:5

 

 

 

It’s okay to keep up with current events, but it is damaging if television and movies are your whole source of information.Sometimes, when I’m talking to someone about a subject of interest, I’ll realize that most of our facts have come from a television show or a movie.I’m not talking about informational television.A lot of information we receive is from a sitcom or other program or the latest big movie hit.Most the time this information is not correct or only partially correct.

 

 

 

It is also sad that many of us have given up books and turned to television or movies for our education.When we dwell too much on entertainment, we are in danger of not growing mentally.Unfortunately, television and movies can become a bad habit.Believe me, it is a habit that I’ve broken.Entertainment is not bad, but I use to watch so much television that I had no time to work on my writing or to read a good book.

 

 

 

Many of us desire to increase our thinking, reading, and writing skills.Reading quality literature can make us smarter and more informed.There are great classic books that can teach us about past perspectives, which we can compare to the present time.Actually, we might find that humans have dealt with similar problems throughout history.If we learn how past generations have handled their problems, maybe we can apply their knowledge to our current circumstances.

 

 

 

There is a reason we hear speeches with quotes from great men and women from the past.Many times, I’ll come across an all inspiring quote from Abraham Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin, and Eleanor Roosevelt.These quotes inspire us, but most of us depend solely on the quotes.If we actually read the biographies of these greats and classic books that inspire, we will learn so much more from their wisdom.

 

 

 

“Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].”

 

Romans 12:2

 

 

 

It’s great to read non-spiritual books that inspire us.Even reading entertaining books is okay from time to time.We all need a break from learning once in a while.Just make sure you’re reading material that is not depressive or morally and ethically questionable.It’s important that we set standards and do not compromise those standards.

 

 

 

With that said, it is highly beneficial to read spiritual books.Of course, at the top of my list is the Bible.It is important to read the Bible every day.There are many other spiritual books that can teach us and uplift our spirits.An author that I read on a regular basis is Joyce Meyer (http://www.joycemeyer.org).Her books inspire and motivate me to live a life pleasing to Christ.

 

 

 

Sometimes, spiritual education is the last on our list, but we should make it a top priority in our lives.When we become spiritually educated, our life becomes anchored to Christ.Christ should be our foundation.This is a solid foundation that will never move and can never be broken.

 

 

 

“Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusions;

 

 

 

And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude]…”

 

Ephesians 4:22, 23

 

 

 

In the past, I defined integrity as merely telling the truth.I’ve come to understand integrity as something much more.Many of us think we have integrity.This may be true, but we need to make sure we understand integrity, first.On Dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity), integrity is defined as following and putting to practice “moral or ethical principles”.The following definition is an example of the Bible’s definition of integrity.It was a definition I put together based on several scriptures.These scriptures will be available below the definition.

 

 

 

A Person who lives a life of integrity has characters such as honor, reverence and faith in the Lord.This person has humble, skillful and godly wisdom.When this person performs a task, he or she does it with a clear conscience, and, when they deal with other people, they speak the truth in love.They are blameless and persevere, and they always give freely and abundantly.

 

(Psalms 5:4; Psalms 26:1-5; Proverbs 11:2, 3; Matthew 5:41; Acts 23:1; Acts 24:16; Romans 9:1; 1 Corinthians 12:31; Philippians 1: 10, 11; I Timothy 1:5; I Timothy 1:19)

 

 

 

How does integrity influence the mind?Well, just like negative thoughts, lack of integrity is harmful to future successes.When we think about things that are dishonest, disgraceful, and corrupt, our actions follow suit.We are what we think, so we need to think honorable thoughts.When we habitually dwell on immoral or unethical things, we will begin to act immoral and unethical.One wrong thought won’t destroy our lives, but continuously allowing the mind to think wrong thoughts will lead to danger and an unsuccessful life.

 

 

 

In the above paragraph, the word habitually is used.The first part of this word is habit.We can actually make wrong thinking a habit before we realize anything is wrong.If we have allowed ourselves to slip into this wrong thinking, we need to admit the problem and address each immoral or unethical thought that comes into our mind.Following the other steps addressed above will help get our minds back on track.Once we have our thoughts under control, our actions will follow.

 

 

 

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

 

Watch your words, for they become actions.

 

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

 

Watch your habits, for they become character.

 

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

 

-Unknown

 

 

 

My challenge for our thoughts this week is to switch bad habits with good habits.The way to a successful, exciting life is through our thoughts.In Ephesians 4:22, 23, we wee that the Word of God encourages us to constantly renew our mind and attitude.When we use the techniques above, we teach and train our minds.If we teach and train our minds, we grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and socially.As we grow in all these areas, we get closer to the successful life God designed for each of us.

 

 

 

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.”

 

II Timothy 1:7

 

Confidence

No, in all these things we are more than
conquerors through Him who loved us.”

Romans 8:37

I’ve always loved to study people. Where ever I go, I watch how people behave and interact with each other. There are many people who have low confidence. How do I know this? It is easy to detect how people act and react whether they have low or high confidence. People with low confidence either respond by shying away from people and situations or they become overly aggressive and blow up at everyone around them. It’s sad, but I’ve come across more people with low confidence than those who have high confidence.

There are seven steps people can take to combat low confidence. When people take these steps, they become more confident and are able to get more out of life. Once they start building their confidence, they realize they are able to try new things and build even more confidence. I’ve included some of my own story to show the importance of these seven steps. These steps include believing God has a plan for your life, changing negative messages to positive messages, setting and reaching goals, become a lifelong learner, leaving perfection in the dust, surrounding oneself with positive people, and making a contract with oneself to not give up.

And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

Philippians 1:6

God has a plan for everyone. Many of us believe in God, but we have no confidence in our God-given abilities. It’s important to acknowledge and develop each of our abilities. God doesn’t want us to just sit around and let our talents go to waste. He wants us to use our abilities to make Him proud and help others. When we use these gifts, we feel more complete and accomplished. Just acknowledging God’s gifts in our lives makes us more confident.

There are many people who barely get out of bed, and, if they do get out of bed, they simply move through their day wishing they were someone else. They get bored with everyday life, because they are not following their dreams. These people want more than what they have, but they tell themselves that they are unable to do any more. There is a little voice inside that says they’ll always be mediocre. This voice repeats a negative message that stops them from following their dreams, and, eventually stops them from dreaming altogether.

For many years, I listened to a negative message that said I couldn’t become a writer. When I stopped listening to the negative message and decided I would replace the voice with a positive one, I became more capable and successful. Suddenly, my dreams started coming true, and this success isn’t because I wished upon a star. This success is because I decided to change the negative message I was sending myself to a positive message.

How did I change this message? Well, it wasn’t easy. I had to rehearse the positive message over and over. Every time a negative message would pop in my head, I stopped myself and consciously started reciting the positive message. I’m not perfect and I still have to watch what messages I’m sending myself, but, the more I work on my inner messages, the easier it gets.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me
strength.”

Philippians 4:13

Another way to combat low confidence is to set and reach small goals, which I like to call a goal plan. The key to this practice is that a person needs to start small and complete each goal and write them down. Once the smaller goals are reached, they can become larger and more complex. This helps an individual feel like they are accomplished, so they feel like bigger goals can be reached.

This was how I completed my college degree. Once I knew exactly what degree I wanted, I wrote down how many credits I already had and how many credits I needed. Next, I wrote down all the classes I needed for my degree plan and when I wanted to take each class. Finally, I wrote my desired graduation date at the top of my goal plan. This was a plan I referred to every time I got discouraged and wanted to give up. There were times where I was ready to quite, but, when I looked at my goal plan, I imagined how proud I would be when I reached my goals.

There are many people who graduate from high school or college and stop learning. They never set foot back into a classroom again. This is very bad for one’s confidence. If you continue to learn, your confidence will continue to grow. There are people who never receive a degree, but they are determined to learn something new every day.

Although we do work on and hold degrees, my husband, Brenton, and I have a pact to continue the learning process once we’ve earned our desired degrees. Even when we are not attending classes, we read books and articles that help us mature and grow. These books and articles contain information on a variety of subjects. Brenton constantly reads books about war planes and ships and he loves spiritual books that help him grow closer to God. This is a quality that I’ve always admired in him.

It is very important to remember that no one is perfect. Every day we all make mistakes and need to improve in some area. When people have high confidence, they are able to forgive their own mistakes and the mistakes of others. There are times where others may not forgive someone who has wronged them. The person in the wrong needs to admit they made a mistake and ask for forgiveness. Whether the other person forgives them or not, the person who made the mistake needs to forgive themselves.

“…for all have sinned and fall short of
the glory of God…”

Romans 3:23

Perfectionism is really just a fear. People fear imperfection, but we are all imperfect. We will all make mistakes, so we need to make mistakes our friend and learn from them. Looking at our mistakes and analyzing why we made them will help the learning process. When we make mistakes it is important to admit it and forgive ourselves immediately. This is a process I have learned. When I finally admit that I have made a mistake and forgive myself, I get relief and feel more confident.

It is extremely important to surround yourself with positive people. Take a look at who your friends are and how they make you feel. If you are down every time you talk with them, you may need to spend less time with them. Negative people are draining and make others tired. There is one person I know that drains me emotionally. Even during good times, this person puts a negative twist on everything. Sometimes, I have to create distance between us, so I don’t feel depressed and negative. It is especially important for me to watch who I am around, because, a majority of my life, I suffered with depression. Although I rarely have depression now, I still need to spend my time with positive people and avoid those who are negative.

Now, with all this in mind, determine to build your confidence by creating a confidence contract. Write down all the steps you will take to pursue a more confident you. After you write everything you plan to do, sign and date the bottom. This confidence contract is a reminder that you are serious about building your confidence. As you take steps toward a stronger confidence, you will learn who you are and your value. This contract is one of the most important contracts you will ever make, because it is an investment in you.

Confidence is an important part of success.These seven steps helped me on my quest for more confidence.Each step builds on the other, which will allow you to build confidence as you implement the steps.My challenge to you is to work on each step and watch your confidence grow.

 

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God;
that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.”

I John 5:14

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Purpose

Our Purpose

And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [haunting] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.

So it is evident that it was essential that He be made like His brethren in every respect, in order that He might become a merciful (sympathetic) and faithful High Priest in the things related to God, to make atonement and propitiation for the people’s sins.

For because He Himself [in His humanity] has suffered in being tempted (tested and tried). He is able [immediately] to run to the cry of (assist, relieve) those who are being tempted and tested and tried [and who therefore and being exposed to suffering].

Hebrews 2:15, 17-18

We were in bondage when we came to Christ, but He sets us free. Now, we are free to live our lives with purpose. What most of us don’t understand is that a purposeless life leads to physical, emotions, mental, and spiritual stress. This can eventually lead to disorders, such as depression, headaches, and stomach aches. Living a life with purpose can relieve depression and minimize headaches, which I know from experience.

Our Dreams

To one he gave five talents [probably about $5,000], to another two, to another one – to each in proportion to his own personal ability. Then he departed and left the country.

Matthew 25:15

God gives each of us a purpose (dream). He gives us what He knows we can handle; as we use our talents, he increases our opportunities. He will only give us what we can handle. This is why we need to do our best in every job. It is important to use our talents and actively pursue God’s purpose for our lives.

He who received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he gained five talents more.

And likewise he who had received the two talents – he also gained two talents more.

But he who had received the one talent went and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

Matthew 25:16-19

The first two took their talents and increased them, but the third servant didn’t use his talent at all. Actually, the third servant buried his talent in the ground. Was the master happy with the third servant?

But his master answered him, You wicked and lazy and idle servant! Did you indeed know that I reap where I have not sowed and gather [grain] where I have not winnowed?

Then you should have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received what was my own with interest.

So take the talent away from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents.

Matthew 25:26-28

God says we are wicked, lazy and idle when we do not use our talents. Through the Bible God tells us to not be lazy. When we neglect our dreams and talents, we are guilty of laziness. Every day, we need to work on fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives.

When I was fifteen, God gave me a dream to be a teacher of the Word. It has been 22 years since I started dreaming. There have only been a few opportunities for me to teach. Last January, God spoke to me about my idleness. He said, I was at a crossroads and I needed to choose which direction I was going to go in. Suddenly, I realized that if I didn’t start using my talents, I would have a lot of regrets. Did I really want to get to the end of my life and feel unfulfilled? Absolutely not!

God went from allowing me to teach one class to teaching two, and then suddenly I had three. Suddenly, in September, I was teaching four Bible studies. Will I stop now? No way, I know God has a special plan for my life. I’m giving God my future, and I know he will increase my opportunities as I diligently pursue my purpose.

God doesn’t have big or small ministries: One person can have a job cleaning a church. He may pray as he cleans. While he’s cleaning the toilets, he may pray for each person that sits upon them. Maybe he will sing praises as he cleans the sanctuary and pray for the pastor as he polishes the pulpit. When he/she meets people at the store, he gives them a warm smile or witnesses boldly to the cashier. God doesn’t see this ministry as any less then the pastor who gets up each Sunday and preaches a salvation message.

Your Dream

· Do you have a dream?

· What is your dream?

· How long has it been since God gave you the dream?

· What steps have you taken toward your dream?

· Have you given up on your dream?

· What is keeping you from living your dream?

· Do you have an accountability partner? This is someone who will frequently check on your progress and make sure you’re fulfilling your dreams.

No Dream

· Ask God to give you a dream.

· Read a book on purpose (Myles Monroe is an example of an author that teaches on purpose).

· Read the Bible as much as possible (try to read every day), and ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to God’s purpose for your life.

· Do all your tasks diligently and joyfully.

Be open to the training God will put you through. Maybe God has another purpose for the janitor above. It could be that when he is faithful with his current duties, he will be given even more. For example, a door could be opened for him to become a missionary or an evangelist. God may give him the opportunity to pastor a church. The key is that whatever this janitor does, he gives it his all. God always rewards him for his faithfulness.

Just remember to do everything with a happy and content heart. God is more interested in your attitude and heart condition than what you do, because most of what we do is training. When we do our job with a pure heart, God will help us with the rest.

My Challenge to you: Pursue your purpose this Monday morning and be happy with each opportunity, whether big or small, that comes your way.