My Monday Map to Success

Choosing Your Friends

Read the scriptures below. What is the common theme of all the scriptures?

Genesis 13

Abram Inherits Canaan

13 Then Abram went up from Egypt, he and his wife and all that he had, and Lot with him, to the South. ² Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold. ³ And he went on his journey from the South as far as Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, ⁴ to the place of the altar which he had made there at first. And there Abram called on the name of the Lord.

⁵ Lot also, who went with Abram, had flocks and herds and tents. ⁶ Now the land was not able to support them that they might dwell together, for their possessions were so great that they could not dwell together. ⁷ And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock. The Canaanites and the Perizzites then dwelt in the land.

⁸ So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren. ⁹ Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me. If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left."

¹⁰ And Lot lifted his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere (before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah) like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt as you go toward Zoar. ¹¹ Then Lot chose for himself all the plain of Jordan, and Lot journeyed east. And they separated from each other. ¹² Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelt in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent even as far as Sodom. ¹³ But the men of Sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the Lord.

¹⁴ And the Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him: "Lift your eyes now and look from the place where you are—northward, southward, eastward, and westward; ¹⁵ for all the land which you see I give to you and your descendants forever. ¹⁶ And I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth; so that if a man could number the dust of the earth, then your descendants also could be numbered. ¹⁷ Arise, walk in the land through its length and its width, for I give it to you."

¹⁸ Then Abram moved his tent, and went and dwelt by the terebinth trees of Mamre,which are in Hebron, and built an altar there to the Lord.

Ruth 1:6-22

⁶ Then she arose with her daughters-in-law that she might return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the country of Moab that the Lord had visited His people by giving them bread. ⁷ Therefore she went out from the place where she was, and her two daughters-in-law with her; and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. ⁸ And Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, "Go, and return each to her mother's house. The Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. ⁹ The Lord grant that you may find rest, each in the house of her husband."

So she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. ¹⁰ And they said to her, "Surely we will return with you to your people."

¹¹ But Naomi said, "Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Are there still sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands? ¹² Turn back, my daughters, go—for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, if I should have a husband tonight and should also bear sons, ¹³ would you wait for them till they were grown? Would you restrain yourselves from having husbands? No, my daughters; for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me!"

¹⁴ Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

¹⁵ And she said, "Look, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law." ¹⁶ But Ruth said:

"Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
¹⁷ Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me."

¹⁸ When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she stopped speaking to her.

¹⁹ Now the two of them went until they came to Bethlehem. And it happened, when they had come to Bethlehem, that all the city was excited because of them; and the women said, "Is this Naomi?"

²⁰ But she said to them, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. ²¹ I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?"

²² So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess her daughter-in-law with her, who returned from the country of Moab. Now they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest.

John 13:18-30

¹⁸ "I do not speak concerning all of you. I know whom I have chosen; but that the Scripture may be fulfilled, 'He who eats bread with Me has lifted up his heel against Me.' ¹⁹ Now I tell you before it comes, that when it does come to pass, you may believe that I am He. ²⁰ Most assuredly, I say to you, he who receives whomever I send receives Me; and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me."

²¹ When Jesus had said these things, He was troubled in spirit, and testified and said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me." ²² Then the disciples looked at one another, perplexed about whom He spoke.

²³ Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. ²⁴ Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask who it was of whom He spoke.

²⁵ Then, leaning back on Jesus' breast, he said to Him, "Lord, who is it?"

²⁶ Jesus answered, "It is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I have dipped it." And having dipped the bread, He gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon. ²⁷ Now after the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus said to him, "What you do, do quickly." ²⁸ But no one at the table knew for what reason He said this to him. ²⁹ For some thought, because Judas had the money box, that Jesus had said to him, "Buy those things we need for the feast," or that he should give something to the poor.

³⁰ Having received the piece of bread, he then went out immediately. And it was night.

    Well, have you guessed the common thread? Do you understand what each of these verses are saying? Each one is an example of a person having to separate ways from someone who will not help them become successful.

    In the first scripture, Abraham and Lot separated ways. Each of them took their families and possessions and lived in different parts of the land. When they first parted ways, they were both wealthy and had an abundance of possessions.

    Of course, a little later in Genesis, we find out that Lot had to be rescued and gets out of Sodom and Gomorrah with only his daughters and the clothes on his back. Abraham, on the other hand, continues to grow in wealth and succeed in life.

    Naomi told her daughter-n-laws to go home to their families. Eventually, she convinced Orpah to go home. Nothing is said about Orpah after she leaves her mother-n-law. Ruth, on the other hand, refused to leave Naomi.

    The Bible never says that Orpah was bad. Ruth was the key to Naomi's success, though. Orpah was eventually convinced to go home unlike Ruth who refused to be persuaded from her destiny. Naomi needed the daughter-n-law that was persistent, and the one who would not be dissuaded from her purpose.

    Now, let's look at Jesus and his selection of disciples. He picked twelve to teach His message, but only eleven actually went on from the original twelve to teach Jesus' message. In the last scripture above, Jesus actually told Judas to go and do what he needed to do. He was telling him to leave them. Jesus was separating himself from Judas, because he knew that Judas would betray Him.

    Each of the other disciples went on to reach the world for Christ. Judas was the one who would trade Jesus for silver. He was a hindrance and not a help.

    In my life, I have made decisions to spend time with people who were negative. The truth is that I was a negative young person, so that is who I attracted. When I was 20 years old, I decided to change. I started to think more positively about myself, others, and the purpose that God had put within me. That year, God brought Brenton into my life. He saw beauty and intelligence. The moment he met me he began to speak positive words into my life.

    Until Brenton came along, I had never heard anyone say that I could go to college and get a degree. I was overwhelmed by his persistence. Finally, I agreed to go to college and, now, I have a bachelors and I am in the process of getting my masters. This taught me a valuable lesson on who to spend time with. It also taught me to watch who my kids hang out with.

    Spending time with positive and successful people is the key to success. Most of the time, when I see a successful person, I also notice that they spend their time with positive and successful people. If we dread seeing someone due to their constant whining, that may be our cue that we shouldn't hang out with them. Even if they are family, we should be careful about the time we spend listening to their negative conversations.

This Weeks Challenge: Make a list of people you hang out with. Now, go through and cross off all the people who are negative and constantly complain. Next, put a star next to the person who is a positive influence and motivates you to be your best. Finally, spend more time with the people that have stars next to their name, and stop or limit the time you spend with the people you crossed out. When you spend time with positive, motivating people, you will notice that you have become a positive, motivating person, too.

Making Every Moment Count

Tara sauntered into the bank as she talked on her cell phone. She was chatting with her friend Lucy who just got back from a trip to Paris. Her friend talked on and on about all the places and people she had seen. It was a trip that her dad took her on for her 18^th birthday.

    When Tara walked in there was a long line for the teller. She was annoyed and got into line with an attitude. As she stood in line, she looked around at the different people that stood restlessly in line. Everyone was in a bad mood, couldn't wait to get through the line, and get on with their day.

    Suddenly a shot rang out and everyone in the bank jumped. A man's voice rang out in the bank saying, "Get down!"

    Tara and the rest of the bank customers obeyed and got down on the floor. The bank robbers went to the tellers and demanded all the money. The tellers cooperated and placed the money into the big black trash bags the robbers shoved into their faces.

    Next to Tara was a young girl about 12 or 13. She was shaking and whimpering uncontrollably. On the other side of Tara was an older woman who looked about 80. She was turned toward Tara and tears rolled down her face.

    The young girl who laid next to her grabbed Tara's hand and whispered, "I don't want to die."

    Tara looked at the girl with fear in her eyes. She hadn't even thought about dying. Could this turn deadly? There are so many things that she wanted to do like finishing college or just declaring a major.

    The girl closed her eyes and began to whimper. Tara quietly told the girl, "Shhhh. We need to stay quiet." She squeezed the girls hand firmly and said, "It's going to be okay."

    Tara didn't know if the girl believed her, but she opened her eyes and looked at Tara. She was even able to nod at Tara and give her a little smile.

    As Tara laid on the floor and held the young girls hand, she thought about her mom, Jen, and her dad, Ed. They didn't always get along, but she wanted to spend more time with them. Lately, she was so obsessed with her friends and parties that she didn't spend enough time with them.

    Her parents were two extremely successful people. Her mom was a pediatrician and had her own practice. She worked hard as a pediatrician, but she always encouraged and spent time with Tara when she was growing away.

    Tara's dad was also successful. He was an architect that built the most expensive buildings in the city. His father recently went back to school to get a doctorate. He, along with her mother, nagged Tara about school and getting a good education. They wanted her to take her life seriously and make something of herself.

    Instead of listening to her parents, Tara goofed off with friends shopping and going to parties. She lived the good life with the money her parents worked hard to make. The truth was that she didn't deserve the good life and took advantage of her parents. Now, she didn't know if she would ever get a chance to tell them how much she appreciated them and all they did for her or tell them how much she loved them.

    One of the bank robbers interrupted her thoughts. He yelled out to the customers, "Count to one hundred and then get up!" With that the bank robbers left. Tara looked up and saw three figures running out of the bank. She could only hear her heart pounding inside of her chest.

    A man in a tacky Hawaiian shirt got up slowly off the floor and said in a shaky voice, "I think they are gone."

    Everyone started to get up slowly. Tara got up and turned to help the young girl up. She then turned to the older lady and helped her get up. The older lady's legs were trembling, but she was able to get up off the floor. Tara led her to a chair where she could sit down while she telephoned her daughter to come pick her up. She didn't want to go home alone.

    Tara watched as police men streamed into the bank with guns. The security officer put his hands up and explained to the officers that the robbers were gone. They put their guns away and started to investigate the robbery. After a while the police led all the bank customers out of the bank.

    Once Tara was out of the bank, she called her mom and found out that both her mom and dad were at work. She called a cab and went straight to her parent's home. Although they weren't there, she wanted be there when they came home.

Tara did what most of us do. She didn't make the most of her life. When she had a chance to advance her career, develop stronger ties with her family and friends, or give back to the community, she did something fun or for herself, instead. Although it is okay to have fun, it is important that we discover the purpose for our life through personal development and education.

    Tara has struggled with feelings of uselessness. People have warned Tara about wasting her life, and they encouraged her to make something great of herself. As she laid on the floor during the bank robbery, she got it. All of a sudden she understood what she needed to do. She didn't want to die without accomplishing something important, and that didn't include going from one party to the next.

    After her parents got home from work, Tara told them about her experience at the bank. They were happy to know that she was alright, but there was something that had changed about their daughter. She was talking about declaring a major, and she wanted to volunteer at the community center. At the community center, she wanted to tutor the students in the after school program.

    Of course, we do not have to wait until a bank robbery to learn this same lesson. Making our life count means that we find out what our purpose is and create goals that will help us create our dream life. Sometimes, we need to make small changes that move us toward our purpose, or sometimes we need to make bigger changes. If you can't quite your job, you can still work on moving toward a new career by researching the new career or taking college or community classes that will expose you to that career. In Tara's case, she simply needed to declare her major and start working on her career. Little changes in our lives can add up to big changes in the end.

This Week's Challenge: Let every moment of your life count. If you are not doing what you want to do and feel miserable, then start to do the one thing that makes you happy. For example, if you are working retail and you don't life your job, then figure out what would make you happy and fulfilled. It could be that you want to go into advertising. Start researching what you need to do to go into advertising. Next, take classes that would help you to get into the advertisement. When you are doing what makes you happy, you are more likely to have increased confidence and better relationships with friends and families.

Nothing for Granted

As we sit here in the hospital, waiting for the doctors to decide the best course
of action for our Aunt Ellen, who has fallen and fractured a hip, we are
talking about the need to being appreciative for what we have. Twenty four
hours ago we were coming home from lunch, enjoying our day when tragedy stuck.
It was great day, and we were taking for granted the mobility that all of our
family had. In one moment everything changed. Ellen, who has enjoys her
mobility, could no longer walk.

If we can walk and talk, think, and function normally, we are blessed. When we go
through life, we tend to take our blessing for granted.

Oh, that men would give thanks to the
LORD for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! For
He satisfies the longing soul, And fills the hungry soul with goodness.

Psalm 107:8-9

As we go through life, we get use to, and take for granted our abilities, our
lives, our jobs, and those around us. As we have learned this past year,
nothing should be taken for granted.

This summer, we went on vacation, and
before we returned from our break, a wonderful lady at work passed away.
Everyone expected her to return and start her job as usual. She just started
feeling ill one day and passed within twenty-four hours. Most of us did not
have the opportunity to say goodbye. Her life was cut short and we were left
with the reality of our unspoken regrets.

 

Do not
withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.

 

Proverbs
3:27

We need to start today and make sure that we tell those around us that they we love and care for them. Today is the day we need to tell those around us that they are important to us. We never know when we will see them for the last time, and we want to live our lives with no regrets.

This Week's Challenge:

Where ever you are at right now, stop and
give thanks for your abilities and your life. If you are employed, be thankful
that you have a job and are able to make a living. If you are unemployed but
are employable, be thankful that you have the ability to hold down a job. Being
able to work is a blessing that not everyone receives. Next, you need to make a
list of the people in your life that make your life better. Now take that list
of names and let each person on the list know how you feel about them and how
they have impacted your life.

Be thankful for each day you have for you never know when it will be your last.

When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your
strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no
reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.

Tecumseh

Praise the LORD! Oh, give thanks to the
LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Who can utter the mighty
acts of the LORD? Who can declare all His praise?

Psalm 106:1-2

 

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down
from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not changelike shifting
shadows.

James 1:17

Blessings

"However many blessings we expect from God, His infinite liberty will always exceed all our wishes and our thoughts."

John Calvin

    Many times, we hear ministers talk about blessings from God. This is especially talked about during offering time. A lot of times, people think of blessings as money. There are several different types of blessings, though.

    Some blessings are money or possession related, but this is not always true. One of the most common blessings is health. God wants His people to have health and wellness. If we are not getting healed, there is a reason. We usually do not know the reason, but, if we have faith in healing, we will receive our healing.

"When thou has truly thanked the Lord for every blessing sent, But little time will then remain for murmur or lament."

Hannah Moore

    For years, I have dealt with severe pain throughout my body. This is difficult for me, because I am a very goal-oriented person. When I don't feel good and I can't work on my goals, I feel frustrated and depressed. This is not good for me or my family.

    In the last three months, this pain has increased. Just getting out of bed has been is painful. This is difficult with three children. In addition, my Aunt Ellen got two compression fractures. These compression fractures limited her mobility. Trying to take care of her was even more difficult due to the pain I was going through.

    Although I did not want to go to the doctor, it got to the point where I knew I had to see a doctor. When I saw my doctor is was like any other visit. She asked me a multitude of questions and typed on her computer. I visit was almost done when she looked up at me with a look of discovery and said, "Take vitamin D!"

    The next day, I took vitamin D with my dinner. That night, I went to sleep and slept through the whole night. When I woke up, I had no pain at all! It was amazing, and a feeling that I had never felt before. Since I was a teenager, I felt some sort of pain, and here I was feeling like a new woman.

    This is my blessing. When my doctor said that I needed vitamin D, it was God giving me what I needed. He knew I was at the end of what I could handle. It wasn't money, but it was far great. It was not possessions, but I will never take for granted how I feel right now. God's blessings, no matter what they are, are so special and precious to each of His believers.

"Count your blessings."

Proverb

Challenge for the Week

    We need to believe with all our hearts that God will bless us, and he will. It may not be riches or great possessions, but it will be amazing. We don't ever need to take his blessings for granted, whether they are big or small. Even the little things that make us happy are blessings from our Father.

"Life holds so many simple blessings, each day bringing its own individual wonder."

John McLeod

The Romance Blog

"Draw me! We will run after you! The king brings me into his apartments! We will be glad and rejoice in you! We will be glad and rejoice in you! We will recall [when we were favored with your love, more fragrant than wine. The upright [are not offended at your choice, but sincerely] love you."

Song of Solomon 1:4

    In the last few months, I have struggled with feelings of emptiness. A few days ago, I began to question why I am feeling so lonely and empty. As a woman with three kids, a great husband, and a God on my side, why am I feeling so forgotten?

    Last night, I heard Misty Edwards talking about Song of Solomon, and I started thinking about romance. Sure, I have a wonderful husband who gives me plenty of romance here on earth, but I need something more. It is not satisfying my spirit.

    As I read Song of Solomon today, I realized that there is a spiritual romance I am missing. For some reason, I go strong for awhile, but, when times get tough, I get weary and give up. Instead, I need to start running to God when times are tough and I feel alone. This emptiness can be defeated by a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit.

    There is a great scripture that I am going to start meditating on. This great scripture made me realize that only God's love can fill that emptiness. If I am struggling with this emptiness, I know that my eyes have moved away from God, so I need to move my focus back on God.

"[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!

Ephesians 3:19

    Wow, God wants to romance us and fill us with His fullness. God is ready and willing to flood us with His goodness, but we have to allow Him to romance us. When I was dating my husband, Brenton, I always wanted to look and act my best. Even after 15 ½ years of marriage, I want him to find me beautiful. Every time he comes home, I kiss him and tell him how much I missed him. We call each other several times a day to keep connected. We are always on the lookout for special songs that we can dedicate to each other, and, when we hear these songs played on the radio, we look at each other passionately

    What about God? Do we put on our best, or dress for Him? Are there times when we stop and talk with Him? Is there a special song just between you and Him that makes you stop and think passionately about Him? Do you do everything for Him? Do you give Him your best, or do you only give Him the scraps that are left over at the end of the day?

    These are questions that I had to stop and honestly ask myself. Unfortunately, I really didn't like the answers. If I am willing to romance my imperfect husband here on Earth [no offense to Brenton, He is the greatest man I know here on Earth], but how much more should I romance the perfect God who loves me and set me free.

Weekly Challenge:

Right now, I encourage you stop and take inventory of your life. If you feel empty or alone, you need to stop and pray that God will make you full, again. He will turn mourning in to dancing, and depression into joy. If you allow God to come into the pain and sorrow, He will give you a reason to live again.

In the world today, we hear of tragedy over and over again. It is only when I get with my God that I feel the peace I need to live. My challenge this week is to make a pact to romance God. This means to not only love Him, but give Him your best. In everything you do, do it for Him. Not only will your life change for the better, you will begin to make an impact on the people around you.

"Your eyes will see the King in His beauty; [your eyes] will behold a land of wide distances that stretches afar."

Isaiah 33:17

What We Can Learn From Tragedy!

The Boston Marathon bombing is a major tragedy. It has taken the lives of three people and changed the lives of countless others. As a graduate of Boston University, I understand the great pride that Bostonians have in their town and the Boston Marathon. We have the families of those killed in the blast in our thoughts and prayers. We are also praying for the people who were injured for their quick recovery. And lastly, we are praying for all those who were affected by the day's events. In this time of tragedy, we stand with Boston.

This week, we have witnessed a great tragedy in Boston. What should we do when faced with a tragedy like this? As Human beings, we always start out with disbelief; this is quickly followed by shock. The world around us seems to stop as we try to make sense of what we are witnessing. After the shock wears off, we are left with a sense of mourning. We are left with sadness, sadness for those families who have lost their love ones. Sadness for those injured, whose lives will be changed forever. And a sadness for the innocence that was lost. These emotions are all part of the healing process. We all need healing, but what can we learn from the event?

We believe that events like this should make us take stock of our lives. We should look at our lives and be thankful that we are alive. If we woke up this morning, we have an opportunity to make a difference in the world. We need to start today to make the changes necessary for success. We should take advantage of the lives we have been given.

We should also be grateful that we still have our family around us. We should appreciate those that are around us and take time to be with our loved ones. During these times, we are reminded how important our family is to our happiness. We need to tell them we love them, and take the time to listen to them. We never know when we will have our last conversation. We should never take our family for granted.

What about our friends, and supporters? We should take time to thank those around us that support us and cheer us on. The Boston Marathon is all about supporting others as they try to do what others have never done. We should appreciate those who are there for us through thick and thin. We need to tell those around us how we feel about them. So now it is our turn, and we would like to thank you for your support and encouragement. We could not do My Monday Map to Success without you. Thank you, we love and appreciate all of you.

Love,

Tina and Brenton White

The Grandma Blog

We have not been able to post a blog for about a month due to my Grandma's passing. My Grandma was in a nursing home but, about six weeks ago, she took a turn for the worst. She lost her ability to chew and swallow her food. The doctor gave her two days to two weeks to live. Of course, this was a major blow for our family. We started visiting her on a daily basis with the understanding that this could be our last visit.

    Our children would ask to visit almost every evening, so we spend a lot of time with her. Because of our faith in God, many people from our church family started coming by the nursing home to pray for grandma and comfort the family. As the days started to turn into weeks, we noticed that this little lady, that was receiving very little nourishment, was praying for and blessing the people who were coming to pray for her.

    She was living in the moment, not letting the time go by without having an effect on those who visited her. Even though she was weak, she prayed for and gave advice to all that entered the room. The nurses started coming to her room each day to start their day off right with a blessing from Grandma.

    She sang worship songs with family and friends. She also raised her hands and clapped to the music only she could hear. She saw glimpses of heaven and worshipped with the angels. She made sure that she told those around her that she loved them. Her feelings were made clear to all who visited. These were her greatest days, and she prayed for more than two hundred people during this thirty day timeframe.

    A week and a half ago, she left this world behind and join my Grandpa in heaven. She set a great example for us to follow. She prayed for and blessed everyone that entered her room, and she live each day as it was her last, she worship God with all her strength, and she told everyone that she loved them.

    This is a great story that was shared at her funeral. Many people were touched by her story, but we need to go beyond our emotions. We must take action. We need to use this example to change our life for the better. I challenge you to follow Grandma's example for one week.

The Grandma Challenge:    

We need to pray for and bless everyone that we come into contact with each day. We tend to gossip about others and put them done, while we could resolve more problems by blessing and prayer. It is hard to be mad at someone if you spend time praying for them. We need to live each day as if it were our last. We seem to get wrapped up in the daily cares of this world and let the important moments pass by without affecting those around us.

 

We need to worship God no matter what is happening in our life with all of our strength. We should worship God with all of our heart, mind and strength. Finally, we need to tell those around us that we love them. No matter how many times you tell other you love them, they can never hear it enough. You need to express your feelings as if it were your last day. People need to hear how you feel, and not have to guess that you care for them.

    Try to do these four steps for one week and watch your life change for the better.

In Loving Memory of Rosa Lewis 1927-2013    

The Challenge Blog Summer

This blog is a little late, because of the holiday season. Our family is busy preparing for the celebration at home and at church. As you read the following challenges, remember to incorporate these challenges into your own life. Don't wait until New Year's to make your own resolutions. The time is now! In addition to adding these challenges to your life, also remember to enjoy the holidays with your family and friends. They are the ones that will love and support you as you work on your own personal development.

The Inside Out Blog

This week we need to work from the inward out. Instead of focusing on our outward appearance, we need to look inwardly and pursue our purpose. This can be done by not focusing on outward appearance, dealing with negative emotional issues, creating a personal life plan, and doing our best. We need to remember that what matters in life comes from within us. As we prioritize and plan for our life, we are more able to work hard and create the life we want.

    When my mom died, I knew that I wanted to make the rest of my life count. In the past, I focused so much on my outward appearance, but, now, I know what is really important. Following my dreams of becoming a writer and public speaker are important, and pursuing this dream is important to my family. If I can show my family that they can succeed with hard-work, then they will pursue their dreams and become successful. Even though I miss my mom, I know she is proud of the success I have achieved in my life. Right after she died, I completed my college degree and continued on to graduate school. My mom always supported me and told me how proud she was of my accomplishments. That pride that my mom instilled within me shines through.

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind them."

Eleanor Roosevelt

The Big Projects Blog

"Accept the challenge so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory."

George S. Patton

My challenge this week is to write down a project that I want to complete. This project will be one that I have struggled to get started or is half finished. Once I know what project I want to complete, I will write down all the steps I need to complete. As I work through this project, I will continually remind myself that I am not perfect, and that mistakes are a part of the process. It will also be my goal to find creative ways to work through this project, so that it does not get boring and mundane. Of course, I will also enlist the help of my friends and family. They will help me when I get stuck or need a little extra help. Finally, I will study the project subject and ask plenty of questions, because there is no such thing as a stupid question.

The Busy Blog

For this week, I challenge everyone to slow down for at least a day. Take time with family and friends, and take time to rest. Of course, it is important to get work done, but it is just as important to build relationships and get our bodies rejuvenated. The work will be there when we get back.

 

The Frustration Blog

This week we need to figure out what is frustrating us. If we are frustrated, our lives are not as productive. When we work on finding ways to illuminate our frustration before it even begins, we have less frustration in our lives and are free to succeed. It also means that, even if we are not frustrated at any time this week, we need to work on preparing ourselves by practicing God's presence, helping other people, finding our purpose, and eliminating exhaustion even before we get to the point of frustration. Practice acting as if you cannot fail, because God has a plan for your life and He will see it through to completion.

"All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail."

Dorothea Brande

The Peace Blog

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you."

John 14:27

When we find peace, we are more joyful and healthier. Peace can help calm anxiety and ease depression. This is why our challenge for this week is to pursue peace. We can pursue peace by praying, reading, studying, and meditating on the Word of God, having a positive attitude, cleaning up physical and emotional messes, and singing or listening praise and worship.

For additional information on some of these topics, please check out the following links:

Studying the Word

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/studying-the-word.html

            Thoughts

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/thoughts.html

Positive New Language

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/positive-new-language.html

Forgiveness

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/forgiveness.html

    

The Faith Blog

"And He spared not the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a preacher of righteousness, with seven other persons, when He brought a flood upon the world of ungodly [people]."

2 Peter 2:5

 

    This week, we need to challenge ourselves to have faith like Noah. The type of faith that Noah has is protection to God's people. Those who are faithful are protected from harm. Faithfulness is a seed that can grow. God planted the seed in us when we believed in Him, but He expects us to grow and mature our faith.

    Of course, the way to grow our faith is by reading God's Word and praying. Trusting in Him is also a way to develop our faith. Every time we trust God, even when things do not look like they are going right, we are able to use our faith more effectively. Every day, our faith can get stronger as we build our relationship with God.

The Selfishness Blog

"But if anyone has this world's goods (resources for sustaining life) and sees his brother and fellow believer in need, yet closes his heart of compassion against him, how can the love of God live and remain in him?

 

Little children, let us not love [merely] in theory or in speech but in truth [in practice and in sincerity)."

I John 3:17, 18

 

    This week we need to examine our own actions and motives. If there is any selfishness in us, we need to use the Word of God and start to live as Christ lived. This will change our lives and create a success that we did not even know was possible. God needs people to give themselves unselfishly, so that they can be an example of Christ to the world.

 

"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Selfishness Scriptures

 

Proverbs 28:27

Mark 8:34

Romans 12:10

Romans 15:2

I Corinthians 9:19

I Corinthians 10:24

I Corinthians 10:33

II Corinthians 5:15

Galatians 6:2

Philippians 2:3-7

I Timothy 5:6

I John 3:17, 18

 

Leadership Blog

    This week we need to look at our leadership style. We need to make sure that we are leading as Christ leads us. If we are not leading according to the Bible, we need to start reading through the gospels and learn about Jesus and how He led His disciples. These scriptures will help us lead our followers more effectively.

    As we learn to lead, we will notice that our followers will also begin to lead. They will learn by our example. This is a great feeling, because now your leadership is increasing. Those that you have taught to lead will also teach others to lead. Many leaders become great due to this process. We are all able to become great leaders, but it takes daily preparation and planning. Of course, the most important part of leadership is building a relationship with God. A relationship with God is built through daily devotions, praise and worship.

Influential Blog

"You have delivered me from the strivings of the people; You made me the head of the nations; a people I had not known served me.

As soon as they heard of me, they obeyed me; foreigners submitted themselves cringingly and yielded feigned obedience to me."

Psalm 18: 43-44

    This week we need to understand the importance of influence. As Christians, we need to influence others, so they can start and develop their relationship with God. If we are not courageous, wise, faithful, and obedient, we will have a hard time influencing any one, especially if we are witnessing to people around us.

    Sometimes, we may need to ask God how to influence others through courage, wisdom, faithfulness, and obedience. God will help us to live a life of influence and gain favor in the eyes of men. These character traits all come from time with God. Our time with God, as I have said before, comes from meditating on God's Word and praying. God has given us the ability to speak the Word to our problems and rely on Him completely.

    As we study God's Word and pray, we will develop the same character traits seen in Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Queen Esther. They are developed over time, so we must patiently wait and get closer to God. God has a plan for our lives, just as He had a plan for Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Queen Esther. Every day, we need to work on our relationship with God and practicing these four character traits.

Challenge of the Week

    Our challenge for the week is to read this blog and incorporate each challenge into our lives. We need to make sure that we are moving forward in our lives and not standing still or moving backwards. If you stand still for too long, you will eventually move backwards. Sometimes, we will struggle with one of the challenges, but struggles are in our lives to help us learn and grow. Learning from our mistakes is vital to a successful life.

From my family to yours, "Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

To read the complete original blogs posted in the spring click on the links below:

The Inside Out Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/05/the-inside-out-blog.html

The Big Projects Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/06/my-big-projects.html

The Busy Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/06/the-busy-blog.html

The Frustration Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/06/frustration-blog.html

The Peace Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/07/the-peace-blog.html

The Faith Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/07/faith-blog.html

The Selfishness Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/08/selfishness-blog.html

Leadership Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/08/leadership-blog.html

Influential Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/08/influential-blog.html

 

The Challenge Blog Spring

This week's challenge blogs are from this last spring. These blogs are devoted to topics such as forgiveness, passion, procrastination, relationships, depression, looking inward, the Lord's Prayer, and studying the Word. As we read through the challenges, we need to check our progress on each topic. The more we read and study each topic, the more we will grow in personal development and succeed in life.

Forgiveness Blog

We've all heard people say that they will never forgive someone else for the pain they have caused. This is so tragic, because it only hurts the person more that is carrying around the unforgiveness. Many times, the person who hurt us has gone on with their life and free from any recollection of the offense. For our own sakes, we need to forgive and renew our memories. It does not make us weak to forgive. Actually, it shows great strength on our part to forgive all offenses. What comes after forgiveness is peace, and that is worth letting go of any bitterness no matter how big or small.

    This week, we need to challenge ourselves to forgive all offenses. Take a look at your memories and find the ones that hold the most hurt. Find the lesson and good out of the situation and forgive. Every time the memory tries to come back with a negative emotion tied to it, forgive the person or situation again. Forgiveness is a habit, and we get better at forgiving as we practice. At first, forgiving may seem hard and awkward, but remember that it gets easier with time.

And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Passion Blog

My challenge to all of us this week is to find our passion. We need to write down our dreams, prepare ourselves for success, get back up and dust ourselves off when we fail, find a motivational support team, and practice until we are experts. If we will take these steps, we will become more and more passionate about our dreams. This passion has the capability of speeding up the process of success. When we are more passionate, we are more likely to focus on our dreams and work harder.

"Therefore I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men."

Acts 24:16

Procrastination Blog

This week's challenge is to take the step necessary to stop procrastination. Remember, the benefits of diligently working on a project are higher than quitting because a project gets too hard. The confidence and satisfaction of a tough project completed is worth the difficult moments. Conquering fear and completing projects is the most important step to success, so I promise to never give into procrastination and make completing difficult projects a habit in my life.

 

"Putting off an easy thing makes it hard; putting off a hard thing makes it impossible."

George Claude Lorimer

 

Relationships Blog

There are times where we have to deal with relationships that are with people we don't necessarily like. This is a situation that can be hard to deal with, but it is not impossible. It is important to find the good in everyone and treat them with respect. If we respect them, then they could turn into our friend. They may not be close friends, but anything is better than dealing with an enemy.

Our challenge this week is to build and maintain healthy relationships. If we use these relationship ingredients, we can become fulfilled in our relationships. We are relational people, so it is necessary for us to work on learning about relationships. Most of us aren't born understanding how to relate to others, but, as we grow and mature, we learn how relationships work.

"You are My friends if you keep on doing the things which I command you to do."

John 15:14

Depression Blog

Depression is hard to go through, but it is not impossible. God has a plan for my life. It is important for me to understand that I can succeed, even in the midst of depression. This week's challenge is to take the necessary steps to deal with depression. Success is my goal, and depression is just a speed bump. If I can use these techniques to get through my depression, I will be able to take giant steps closer to success and teach others to be successful, too.

"Reading makes a full man, meditation makes a profound man, discourse a clear man."

Benjamin Franklin

Looking Inward Blog

The point of this blog is to teach us the importance of working on us and not looking at everyone else's faults. This can be done by learning the fruits of the Spirit, which need to replace the fruits of the flesh. Although we were born sinners, we are now free to work on personal development that will help us through this life and into eternity.

    This week's challenge is to identify the fruits of the flesh, learn the fruits of the Spirit, and work on increasing the fruits of the Spirit and decreasing the fruits of the flesh. This will cause the greatest success of all. Not only will we be able to succeed at our relationships, careers, and personal life, but we will be able to develop a relationship with God that will be an example to everyone around us.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Lord's Prayer Blog

9     "In this manner, therefore, pray:

 

Our Father in heaven

Hallowed be Your name.

 

10    Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

 

11    Give us this day our daily bread

 

12    And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

 

13    And do not lead us into

Temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For yours is the kingdom and the

power and the glory forever.

Amen.

The challenge this week is to follow Christ's example of prayer. It is also important to set up a regular time for prayer. Some may want to pray in the morning. There are others that do better when they pray in the afternoon or evening. Whenever we set up a devotion time, we just need to consistently pray at that time. Of course, things will come up and try to steal that time from us, but we need to work as hard as we can to protect our prayer time. This is the most important time of our day.

Studying the Word Blog

Our challenge this week is to study the Word and other informational books and articles. After we have studied everything we can, we need to teach others what we have learned. Think of all this as an adventure and not just boring material that we have to learn. When we view God's Word as one exciting adventure after another, we are more likely to read and study it more than just an old book that has no relevance. Instead of reading our romance and spy novels, we need to read the Bible. The Bible is full of fighting, journeys to foreign lands, and, of course, romance.

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

Benjamin Franklin

 

The Challenge Week

    This week we need to look back at all the spring blogs. We need to work on forgiveness, passion, procrastination, relationships, depression, looking inward, the Lord's Prayer, and studying the Word. When we work on these personal developments, we grow and are more successful in every part of our lives.

    

    Lately, I have thought about how I teach my children. A lot of times, we teach children or deal with our own problems one dimensionally, but this is not as effective in the end. We need to develop ourselves and children physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This is why I write my blogs. Each blog deals with one of the topics.

To read the complete original blogs posted in the spring click on the links below:

Forgiveness Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/forgiveness.html

Passion Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/passion.html

Procrastination Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/procrastination.html

Relationships Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/relationships.html

Depression Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/depression.html

Looking Inward Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/looking-inward.html

The Lord's Prayer Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/the-lords-prayer.html

Studying the Word Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/studying-the-word.html

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Always consult your physician

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The Challenge Blog Winter

"The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

    For the next few weeks, I will post challenge blogs from posts in winter, spring, summer, and fall. Each of the challenges are weekly challenges that are at the end of each blog. They are important for us to review and make sure we are progressing in our personal development. This first challenge blog includes topics on perseverance, purpose, confidence, thoughts, developing a positive new language, being fearless, and goal-setting.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Eleanor Roosevelt

The Perseverance Blog

"The realm of ideas everything depends on enthusiasm… in the real world all rests on perseverance."

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

My challenge to you is to never give up. We need to continue to learn and grow, so we need to find ways to persevere through life's obstacles. First, we need to look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we will not give up. Second, we need to make a list of people, including ourselves, that would benefit from our success. Finally, we need to persevere, because God has a purpose for our lives. He has something special for us to do, and He does not want us to give up. Whatever we set our minds to, we need to push through the tough obstacles and succeed for God, ourselves, and others.

^"We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance."

2 Thessalonians 3:4, 5

"Perseverance, secret of all triumphs."

Victor Hugo

The Purpose Blog

"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."

John F. Kennedy

My challenge to you is to pursue your purpose each day and be happy with each opportunity, whether big or small, that comes your way. Remember that God has created you for a reason. We need to understand that dreams and gifts usually start small, and we need to develop the dreams and gifts. If it came easy, it wouldn't be a real victory in our lives and we wouldn't learn and grow from the experience.

"For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."

Romans 9:17

"There is on quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it."

Napoleon Hill

The Confidence Blog

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Confidence is an important part of success. The seven steps to gain confidence are believing God has a plan for everyone, changing negative messages to positive messages, setting and reaching goals, becoming a lifelong learner, leaving perfection in the dust, surrounding oneself with positive people, and making a contract with oneself to not give up. These seven steps helped me on my quest for more confidence. Each step builds on the other, which will allow you to build confidence as you implement the steps. My challenge to you is to work on each step and watch your confidence grow.

I John 5:14

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

 

"Optimism is the faith that loads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

 

Helen Keller

 

 

The Thoughts Blog

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."

-Unknown

My challenge for our thoughts this week is to switch bad habits with good habits. The way to a successful, exciting life is through our thoughts. In Ephesians 4:22, 23, we read that the Word of God encourages us to constantly renew our mind and attitude. When we renew our minds, we teach and train our minds. If we teach and train our minds, we grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and socially. As we grow in all these areas, we get closer to the successful life God designed for each of us.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

II Timothy 1:7

 

"Our thoughts are what our thoughts make it."

 

Marcus Aurelius

The Positive New Language

"Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another."

Napoleon Hill

 

As we use these techniques, we train our minds to think positively and our mouth to speak positively. Once we start building this new vocabulary, we will find ourselves automatically using positive words, even in difficult situations. This week's challenge is to learn this new positive language and banish all negative vocabulary.

"Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it."

Ephesians 4:29

 

"The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will his world and the world at large."

Confucius

The Fearless Blog

"Avoiding Danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold."

Helen Keller

Fear can be friend or foe. If we let fear rule us, it becomes our enemy. When we use fear to keep us alert and on our toes, we become prepared for any surprises along the way. Life is a journey and can be truly satisfying or unsatisfying. This week's challenge is to find our purpose, be afraid and take action, use our imaginations, and live adventurously. Most of us don't succeed, because we have given into fear. As we use fear to achieve our ultimate goals, success will be at our fingertips.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

II Timothy 1:7

 

"Freedom lies in being bold."

 

Robert Frost

The Goal-setting Blog

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."

Henry David Thoreau

As we meet each goal, the next ones should be more and more challenging. If we don't challenge ourselves, then our lives can become stagnant. It is an amazing feeling to complete one goal and go on to an even tougher and more complicated goal. This creates an adventurous spirit in us that makes life worth living.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:13, 14

"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps."

Confucius

The Anger Blog

"When anger arises, consider the consequences."

Confucius

Three of the steps to anger are discovering we have an anger problem, figuring out why we are angry, and asking God to take away our anger. There are many more ways to help us with anger management, but we need to first focus on the three steps above. This week my challenge is to find where the anger is stemming from and forgive the situation or person once and for all. As we face past or present anger, we need to learn to pray, count, and think of the consequences before we act on our anger. If we learn to control our anger, we will have better relationships and more peace in our lives. Remember, it is our job to become more like Christ. He is slow to anger with us, so we need to learn how to control our anger when dealing with others.

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy and loving-kindness.

Psalm 103:8

 

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."

Mark Twain

This Weeks Challenge

"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration victory."

George Patton

    This week we need to make sure we are continuing our growth. We need to work on perseverance, purpose, confidence, thoughts, using positive language, being fearless, goal-setting, and anger. If we work on these areas of personal development, we will see an increase in our personal development and productivity. Each of the challenges above have a corresponding blog. Below the challenge is a link that will take us to that specific blog.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

"Courage is the human virtue that counts most- courage to act on limited knowledge and insufficient evidence. That's all any of us have."

Robert Frost

To read the complete original blogs posted in the spring click on the links below:

The Perseverance Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2011/12/perseverance.html

The Purpose Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/purpose.html

The Confidence Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/confidence.html

The Thoughts Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/thoughts.html

The Positive New Language

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/positive-new-language.html

The Fearless Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/fearless.html

The Goal-setting Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/goal-setting.html

The Anger Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/anger.html

 

Self-Control

"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride): it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]."

I Corinthians 13: 4, 5

    What I Corinthians 13: 4, 5 is talking about is self-control. A lot of us would probably say that we have self-control, but we need to examine our lives and make sure we practice self-control daily. We need to look at our behavior and reactions to events in our lives. Do they show us a plentiful amount of self-control or do we need to develop more?

    Yes, self-control is just like any fruit of the Spirit. It is developed through study and prayer. We think that self-control is automatically present when we accept Christ into our lives, but this is not correct. When we accept Christ, we need to work on developing self-control into our lives.

    The one way to get control back into our lives is to pray the Word of God. This releases God's power into our lives. God's power will give us the ability to do all things through Him Who strengthens us. The following scriptures are accompanied with a prayer. Pray the prayer and believe the God will give you the strength for self-control. After awhile, you can pray your own prayers.

Proverbs 15:18

"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger appeases contentment."

Prayer: "Thank you God for making me slow to anger and for giving me contentment."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Proverbs 25:28

"He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls."

Prayer: "Father, please give me rule over my own spirit, so that I am not like a city that is broken down and without walls."

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Proverbs 31:16

"She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard."

Prayer: "Lord, help me to work on and complete all my duties, so that I can take care of my family and perform my responsibilities with competence."

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Ecclesiastes 5:2

"Be not rash with your mouth, and let not your heart be hasty to utter a word before God. For God is in heaven, and you are on earth; therefore let your words be few."

Prayer: "Lord, please, help me not be rash with my mouth, and do not let my heart be hasty to utter a word before God. Let my words be few."

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Ecclesiastes 5:4

"When you vow a vow or made a pledge to God, do not put off paying it; for God has no pleasure in fools (those who witlessly mock him). Pay what you vow."

Prayer: "God, please, help me pay my vows and pledges. God, I know that I will not please You if I am a fool, so help me be wise in everything I do."

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Ecclesiastes 7:9

Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools."

Prayer: "Father, help me not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed. Help me not be a fool, but instead to be wise."

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Lamentations 3: 26, 27

"It is good that one should hope in and wait quietly for the salvation (the safety and ease) of the Lord."

Prayer: "Lord, I will hope in and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lord, give me the safety and ease to do all You ask of me."

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Luke 21:19

"By your steadfastness and patient endurance you shall win the true life of your souls."

Prayer: "God, help me be steadfast and have patient endurance, so that I can have the life You desire for me."

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I Corinthians 6:12

"Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power."

Prayer: "Father, help me to know what is helpful and good for me to do. Help me to not become a slave to anything."

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I Corinthians 13: 4, 5

"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride): it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]."

Prayer: "Lord, help me to love. Help me to be patient and kind, but help me not be envious, jealous, boastful or vainglorious, or haughty. Show me how to refrain from becoming conceited, rude, acting unbecomingly, insist on my own rights or ways, self-seeking, touchy, fretful, resentful, or not taking account of evil done to me."

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Galatians 5: 22, 23

"But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,

Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]."

Prayer: "God, help me develop love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Thank you for giving me the fruits of the spirit to guide and direct me."

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Colossians 3: 12-14

"Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gently ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever come, with good temper].

Be gently and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].

And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]."

Prayer: "Father, show me how to clothe myself therefore, as Your chosen ones. Thank you for helping me have tenderhearted, pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of myself, gentle ways, and patience."

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II Peter 1: 5-7

"For this very reason, adding your diligence [to the divine promises], employ every effort in exercising your faith to develop virtue (excellence, resolution, Christian energy), and in [exercising] virtue [develop] knowledge (intelligence),

And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety).

And in [exercising] godliness [develop] brotherly affection, and in [exercising] brotherly affection [develop] Christian love."

Prayer: "Lord, help me to add diligence, showing me how to employ every effort in exercising my faith to develop virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and Christian love."

Challenge for the Week

    This week we need to persistently work on developing self-control. This can be accomplished through praying the Word of God. When we do, we will feel a connection with God that will develop the self-control we need in our lives. This self-control also comes through thoroughly examining our lives and getting rid of any areas that are out of control.

    Here are a few questions that we need to ask ourselves:

1. Do I get angry every time I don't get my own way?
2. When I do get angry, do I instantly react to what made me angry?
3. Do I have any control issues with substances or things that are not good for me?
4. Am I constantly getting in trouble with others for my attitude at work or home?
5. Am I able to make decisions calmly, or are my decisions knee-jerk reactions?

If we said yes to any of these questions, we need to work on self-control. This isn't something that we should be ashamed of, but, instead, understand that we are a work in progress. As we work on self-control, we will see a difference in our level of joy and in the ability to get closer to others. The walls that are put up by self-destruction will begin to crumble and we will be able to live life to the fullest.

The People Blog

"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a champion of fools suffers harm."

Proverbs 13:20

    It is extremely important to surround yourself with positive people. Take a look at who your friends are and how they make you feel. If you are down every time you talk with them, you may need to spend less time with them. Negative people are draining and make others tired. There is one person I know that drains me emotionally. Even during good times, this person puts a negative twist on everything. Sometimes, I have to create distance between the two of us, so I don't feel depressed and negative. It is especially important for me to watch who I am around, because, a majority of my life, I suffered with depression. Although I rarely have depression now, I still need to spend my time with positive people and avoid those who are negative.

    A great example is my husband, Brenton. For me to tell you the story, I have to go back to my childhood. As I have said before, I was an independent, adventurous child. Around nine, I had a lot of things that occurred in my life. It all made me feel shameful of who I was, so I stopped my independent and outgoing life. All of a sudden, taken away from my plush play area, I was confined to a mobile home park for the elderly.

    Jumping back to the present day, I have struggled to become independent once, again. The great news is that I am becoming more independent. Right now, I am typing in a gas station as I wait for my phone to charge. The directions back to Brenton's meeting place are on my phone, but my phone died. Instead of freaking out, I simply pulled off the road and went inside this gas station to ask for directions. There I found an outlet, so I plugged in my phone and I am waiting for the directions. As I wait, I am writing my blog and doing work I couldn't do while driving. What a great experience!

    What does this have to do with finding the right person? Well, the reason I have found my way back to independence and adventure is due to finding Brenton. He was the encouragement I needed. Every day, he reminds me of how much he believes in me. There are a lot of other people who encourage and support me, but Brenton is the closest to me. He knows everything about me and loves me anyway.

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with a few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence."

George Washington

    There are five characteristics that friends need to possess. They must be positive, successful, encouraging, a confidant, and giving. If a person does not possess these five characteristics, they are not suitable for intimate friendship. Although this may seem harsh, it is important that friends have these qualities, so they help you become successful.

Positive

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose]."

Proverbs 27:17

    A positive friend is one that helps shape us. They give us the positive advice that leads to great success. The one thing they are not is demeaning or negative about our ability and purpose in life. If we have friends that act like we are a joke and will never amount to anything, we need to stop spending time with them. We are influential to one another, so we start believing what we hear continuously. Any friend that would laugh when we talk about our dreams and goals is not worthy of our time or energy.

    True friends lift us up and make sure we have the confidence we need to succeed. They are willing to give their time to help us grow and prosper in life. Some of my closest friends are able to read me. When I am struggling to get everything done, they step in and give a helping hand. These are the friends that I am happy to help when they need me.

    Positive friends use positive language. They rarely say that something can't be done or You'll never do anything that complicated. Instead they will say, "Wow, that sure will be more difficult, but you will be greatly rewarded when you get it done." Friends who talk positively are great to talk with, because they always can show us the positive side to a situation. Fortunately, talking positively is a technique I work on, so that I can be that positive talking friend. This was not always the way it was for me. Early on in my life, I constantly put myself down and used negative talk for almost everything. It is such a relief to use positive language and teach others to use positive language, too.

Successful

"He who walks [as a champion] with wise men is wise, but he who associates with [self-confident] fools [is a fool himself and] shall smart for it."

Proverbs 13:20

    Success is a word that is misunderstood. When most of us think of success, we think of millionaires and billionaires. It is usually financial wealth that we associate with success, but this is only a small part of success. When a baby starts learning to walk, just taking one step and falling down is a success. This is how we need to look at our own life. If we are learning something new or trying to change something, we need to accept every step completed as a success. It doesn't matter if the step is small, because a lot of small steps successfully completed will equal a big success. What matters is that we are continually working toward our goals that will help us realize our dreams.

    With that said, a successful friend may still work on their own success. The difference between a successful friend and unsuccessful friend is their purpose. Are they intentionally working on completing goals that will make them successful? Have they experienced small or big successes that were intentional? Do they understand and believe in everyone defining purpose for their lives? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then they are a successful friend. On the other hand, if the answer is no to any of these questions, they are unsuccessful friends.

    What do I mean by intentional? Some people can unintentionally do the right thing. They can accidently win the lottery or get a good grade on a test they didn't study for, but this isn't true success. Before we make a decision on a friend, we need to watch them and interact with them. Make sure their successes are intentional by seeing how often they achieve a success. Most of the time, people who gain success unintentionally only have a few successes. They are waiting for something to happen to them, instead of going out and making things happen. Of course, intentional people are the opposite.

Encouraging

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Thessalonians 5:11

    The encouragement part of a friendship should be a given, right? Well, that is not always true. Unfortunately, many of us do not feel we deserve encouragement or that encouragement is important. We end up having friends that either don't care about our purpose or put us down. Just because a friend is not abusive, doesn't mean that the friend is the right friend.

    A friend that encourages us always looks for the best in us. This friend will spend time lifting us up when we are down, but will also deposit encouragement into our emotional bank when we have a positive balance. They know that we need to have extra encouragement funds, so, when we do get discouraged, we will have enough encouragement to help us out of any sadness or depression.

    My sister-n-law, Teadran, is a friend that regularly deposits extra encouragement into my emotional bank. She and my husband, Brenton, encourage me so much that I now have an emotional savings account, so my discouraging moments last for a short time. What's great about emotional bank and savings accounts is that there is never a fee for deposits, but there is a gigantic fine for overdrafts. If we don't get what we need in the way of encouragement, we will suffer emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

    If we do not have anyone, or even if we do have someone, who encourages us, there is One that can encourage us and fill our emotional bank and savings account to full. That is Jesus Christ who died, so that we can be full of life not death. His grace and forgiveness and encouragement will change our lives, so that we can help change other's lives. Let's give Him our emotional bank and let him correct the overdraft and give us all the encouragement we need through His word.

Confidant

"Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own life."

I Samuel 18:3

    God is the greatest confidant, because He is perfect and has all the answers. We should always pray first and act second. If we get angry and want to speak our mind, we need to give it to God and let Him guide us. Prayer is so important to our success in life, because we need God as our best friend. Building a relationship with Christ will help us find the answers more quickly, because He is God of all the answers. Through prayer and His word, we have everything we need to gain the confidence to succeed.

    Now, I know you all may think that my constant talking about my wonderful husband is a bit much, but there is a reason that I talk about him all the time. First, I am absolutely in love with him, so it's hard for me to not talk about him. Second, we have much more than just a love relationship. Although I would be happy with just a love relationship, I am privileged to know Brenton on a totally different level.

    Brenton and I met on January 1, 1995 in Los Angeles, California. The next day, Brenton called me at work and asked me out. From the moment we started dating, we were best friends. Every moment spent together was time to get to know each other more. The one thing that made our friendship and love stronger is how comfortable we were with one another. When I talked to Brenton, I could tell him anything. In fact, I could tell him all of my secrets without feeling nervous or embarrassed.

    This weekend, as we spent time together, we learned even more about one another. As we learn more about ourselves, we share it with each other. A lot of times, Brenton will have more great insight into why I do the things I do. The same is true for me understanding Brenton and giving him my own insight. We are imperfect, so we are constantly trying to learn and grow. As we understand ourselves more, we grow as a couple. Sometimes, couples grow apart, because, as they learn and grow, they do not feel comfortable sharing their growth with their spouse. It is vital that couples don't just grow and learn individually, but also as a couple.

    Friendship is the same way when we are not married to the person. There are a group of women that have become my friends. As I grow, I share with them how I have grown. This has bonded us, so we have a closer relationship because we are growing together. When I am sad or need to talk, Brenton and these women are the ones I go to and talk about my problems. When I talk with them, I feel better and usually have a solution to my problem.

"A friend is someone who knows you and loves you just the same."

Elbert Hubbard

Giving

    Friends that give of their time and money are special. In my life, I have experienced a lot of different kinds of friendships. First, there are the friendships that we put all the time and effort into the other friend, but they are unable to reciprocate the same time and energy into the relationship. Next, there are friends who are low in confidence and ready to pounce on any of our faults. Finally, there are friends that give to us without hesitation. They want to help us in every area of our life, and they don't feel like helping us is a waste of their time.

    These are just a few of the types of friends that I have experienced, but they show the huge differences in friends. The one friend that can't reciprocate is really an absent friend. It is a one sided friendship. A friend who puts us down is more of an enemy that can drag us down. Friends who are willing to give their time and energy to help us and we help them are the right people.

For example, when my mom was in hospital, I would take my four year old son, Danny, with me. He wasn't in school yet, so I had no other choice but bring him and activities for him to do while in my mom's hospital room. It was okay when my mom was in her own room, because Danny could play quietly on the sofa or watch television as my mom and I talked. Although my hands were full, I was able to maintain everything and had a little balance in my life.

    When my mom was moved to ICU, everything changed. No children were allowed to visit patience in ICU, so I didn't know what to do. At this point, my father-in-law, Don Belknap stepped in and agreed to watch Danny while I went to sit with my mom. It was one of the greatest acts of kindness, because Don himself was sick with cancer. Although he didn't feel well, he took Danny and watched him for as long as I needed. My mom died on November 25, 2008, and Don died four months later. He didn't have to help me, but he knew I was struggling and needed the extra help. Every time I think of that time in my life, love swells up in my heart for my precious father-in-law who I miss so much.

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."

Romans 12:10

This Weeks Challenge

"Clothe yourselves therefore as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-behaved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long suffering, and has power to endure whatever comes with good temper].

Be gentle and forbearing with one another, and if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].

And above all those [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness (which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]."

Colossians 3:12-14

    Our challenge this week is to find the right people for our lives. Not everyone will be our best friends. We need a few extremely close friends that will supply support for our purpose. Usually these people will have similar purposes and be on a similar road to success. Even some people that we like and have a great personality may not be in our inner-circle of friends, because they are on a different path. There are people in my life that are merely casual friends or acquaintances.

    In Colossians 3:12-14, Paul tells us how friendship is supposed to work. In my opinion, it really tells it all. We need to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, first. Once we have Christ in our lives, we need to gently care for one another and work out our differences by forgiving one another. This causes a bond with each other that will help us grow individually and together. Our heavenly Daddy, wants us to love one another and live in harmony.

    What does this all mean? We need to find the right friends for support, and we need to build our friendship skills to support them back. This type of friendship is a must for anyone to truly succeed. Most successes are not achieved with just one person. Companies can't gain success with just the CEO coming into work every day. It takes a team of people to get everything done and done correctly. When we are burned out or discouraged, we need our team member there to help us, of course, but we also need them encouraging and supporting us throughout our life so we don't get discouraged or burned out.

"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a progress; working together is success."

Henry Ford

Mentoring Blog

"And when Moses saw that people were unruly and unrestrained (for Aaron had let them get out of control, so that they were a derision and object of shame among their enemies),"

Exodus 32:25

    Wow, what a scripture! Moses had gone to the mountain to get the Ten Commandments from God. Suddenly, God told Moses he needed to go back down and take care of the unruly people. The leadership, Aaron, had allowed the people to go crazy and worship idols and other gods. This enraged God, so it also enraged Moses.

    There are examples throughout history of bad leadership. Although everyone has the ability to lead, many do not have the training and practice to lead people. Those who lead people successfully study and practice leadership skills. As a leader in the church, it is important to study the Word, pray, and learn leadership skills. If we are leaders in business, we need to know business skills as well.

    Every leader has to go through a period of being a follower, first. When they learn their job well as a follower (subordinate), they are able to lead people and teach people in their field. As a minister, it is extremely important to work with a mentor to become a great minister. Eventually, the minister will become good enough that they can mentor someone else. This is how churches grow spiritually and establish a large membership.

    To become great mentors, we need to understand the parable of the sower (Matthew 13:18-23):

"Listen then to the [meaning of the] parable of the sower:

While anyone is hearing the Word of the kingdom and does not grasp and comprehend it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the roadside.

As for what was sown on thin (rocky) soil, this is he who hears the Word and at once welcomes and accepts it with joy;

Yet it has no real root in him, but is temporary (inconstant, lasts but a little while); and when affliction or trouble or persecution comes on account of the Word, at once he is caused to stumble [he is repelled and begins to distrust and desert Him Whom we ought to trust and obey] and he falls away.

As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the Word, but the cares of the world and the pleasure and delight and glamour and deceitfulness of riches choke and suffocate the Word, and it yields no fruit.

As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the Word and grasps and comprehends it; he indeed bears fruit and yields in one case a hundred times as much as was sown, in another sixty times as much, and in another thirty."

Matthew 13:18-23

    There are several reasons why seed is sown on bad soil. One reason that the seed does not land on good soil is lack of Biblical principles. When we do not base our lessons on the Bible, the people we mentor can be led astray by the enemy. The Bible is truth, so we have to mentor people in the Bible's truth. If we do not use the Bible, the seed can land on the roadside.

    The second reason that the seed can land on bad soil is our attitude when we mentor others. If we have a bad attitude, we hurt the people we mentor and stunt their growth in whatever area they are being taught. Many times, people are turned off from church, because people who they admire hurt them. It is important to humbly lead other, and mentor others without an arrogant attitude. This happens in the church, because, sometimes, we forget that we have been a young Christain and need to gently help others grow spiritually. Criticism is a big problem in mentorship. We need to remember that we do not want others to criticize us, so we don't need to criticize others.

    The third reason that the seed lands on bad soil is the lack of commitment on the mentor's part. As a mentor, we need to commit to helping others. If someone needs us, we need to find a way to help them. It is important to remember the benefits of helping others. There are times when we may not feel like helping others, but helping others will also help us grow. When we teach others, it helps reinforce the information for us.

    The fourth reason that the seed lands on bad soil is the lack of confidence. If the mentor is not confident in his/her abilities, we are not able to instill confidence in others. Confidence is not hard to increase in our lives, but it takes a lot of work. When we are trying to increase our confidence, we need to read God's Word and write down everything God says about us. How does God feel about us? He created us and sent His Son to die for us. This means we are very valuable to Him. As we get this truth in our heart, we will see our confidence grow.

    The fifth reason that the seed lands on bad soil is pride. As my sister-in-law, Teadran, said in our Woman's Bible Study, sometimes, we are afraid that the person we mentor will become better than us. This is a prideful spirit that can ruin any mentoring opportunities. Mentorship can make us feel very vulnerable, because we must be honest about our lives. This includes honesty about our mistakes. Some of us do not want to admit weaknesses, so we back off from mentoring others.

Biblical Mentoring Examples

    There are two famous examples of mentoring that I love to read. First, there is the story of Elijah and Elisha, and then there is the story of Paul and Timothy. Each of these examples shows amazing journeys that the mentor took with another. This is what we need to do. Find someone who we can take on our journey and train them to do the same.

"So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him."

I Kings 19:19

    This is an amazing scene, because Elijah was giving Elisha cloak and inviting him to join him on his adventure. Between the times that Elijah selected Elisha and the time Elijah was taken up to heaven, the pair went on a journey that developed Elisha into a prophet. Elisha knew what to do and how he wanted to live, because he witnessed God using Elijah to help the people of Israel. He wanted his own journey, so he was ready to sacrifice everything to get the double portion.

"When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha, "Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?"

"Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit," Elisha replied.

"You have asked a difficult thing," Elijah said, "Yet if you see me when I am taken from you, it will be yours- otherwise, it will not."

As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind. Elisha saw this and cried out, "My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!" And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his garment and tore it in two.

Elisha en picked up Elijah's cloak that had fallen from him and went back and stood on the bank of the Jordan. He took the cloak that had fallen from Elijah and struck the water with it. "Where now is the Lord, the God of Elijah?" he asked. When he struck the water, it divided to the right and to the left, and he crossed over."

II Kings 2:9-14

    Elijah gave Elisha instructions on how to get a double portion of his anointing. Due to Elisha's obedience, he was able to go on and serve as a prophet without Elijah. This is how we need to mentor. When the mentoring is over, the other person should be able to serve without us looking over their shoulder. In many circumstances, the student becomes better than the teacher and eventually does more.

I Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope,

To Timothy my true son in the faith:

Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God's work- which is by faith. The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

I Timothy 1:1-5

"Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, in keeping with the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus, To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord."

II Timothy 1:1-2

    The letters to Timothy were Paul mentoring and instructing Timothy. He knew Timothy was young and wanted to give him the instruction he needed to preach the gospel. Timothy had potential, so Paul decided to develop that potential and use it for the kingdom of God. Paul thought of Timothy as a spiritual son.

Challenge for the week:

    The first thing we need to do is learn from a mentor. That way we can grow from someone more experience than us. Once we are able to grow on our own, we can help others grow. It is a cycle that can be repeated over and over.

    Some other things that we need to remember about mentoring is that it will require us to give others the materials they need. There are books and other materials that will help reinforce what you are trying to teach. My husband, Brenton, has given tons of books away. He gets some of his books in a box, and gives the whole box of books away.

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

 

Influential Blog

"Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth.

But avoid all empty (vain, useless idle) talk, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness."

II Timothy 2:15, 16

    As a Christian, I have a responsibility to lead others to God. When we study and are in God's presence each day, we can introduce others to Christ. On the other hand, we will lead people into ungodliness if we do not work on our own relationship with God. Many people become bitter about the church, because the church members were rude and did not become Christ's example to the world.

    My desire as a leader is to lead others into a relationship with God. This means that it is my responsibility to study the Word of God and practice spending time in His presence every day. If I do this, my witness is a lot more effective and I am more influential. It also helps if my words to give life and not death. When we have spent time with God, we speak God's Word into our lives and lives of others.

"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste (its strength, its quality), how can its saltness be restored? It is not good for anything any longer but to be thrown out and trodden underfoot by men.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.

Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a peck measure, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all in the house.

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

Matthew 5:13-16

    From my studies, I have found the key to influence through God. There are four characteristics that we must possess to influence others. These four characteristics are courage, wisdom, faithfulness, and obedience. As we work on our relationship with God through daily devotions, we build these characteristics in our lives. If we have these characteristics, then we are more effective as a witness for God and the benefits of a relationship with Him.

    The way I learned about these character traits was through the Word of God. There are four women who illustrated these character traits that I admire. These women loved God and were used to influence others to follow and obey God. Their names are Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Esther. Each of them lived righteously and became leaders whose stories were included in the Bible.

 

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose]."

Proverbs 27:17

Deborah

"And she sent and called Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, Has not the Lord, the God of Israel, commanded [you], Go, gather your men at Mount Tabor, taking 10,000 men from the tribes of Naphtali and Zebulun?

And I will draw out Sisera, the general of Jabin's army, to meet you at the river of Kishon with his chariots and his multitude, and I will deliver him into your hand?

And Barak said to her, If you will go with me, then I will go; but if you will not go with me, I will not go.

And she said, I will surely go with you; neverthe less, the trip you take will not be for your glory, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose and went with Barak to Kadesh.

Judges 4:6-9

    Deborah was a woman who lived in an era when men dominated. Although we feel like it is the same today, we have a lot more privileges and opportunities for women to lead and influence others. In the time that Deborah lived, it was very unusual for a woman to lead, and it was even more unusual for a woman to lead an army. Actually, she not only led the army, but the leaders of the army demanded that she go with them into battle.

    Deborah did not even hesitate to join them to the battle. She knew God would see them through and win their battle. It took courage for her to walk into battle with the Israelite army. This is what gave Deborah her influence. People listened to her, because she looked at difficulties and moved forward anyway. People trusted her, because they knew she would not run when something got too hard.

    This is the way we need to live. Sometimes, we feel like dropping everything and running from a bad situation. Unfortunately, this only makes our problems worse. We need to see the opportunity in our problems. Just like Deborah saw victory for Israel, we need to see victory for our own lives. It is like a pregnant woman who goes into labor. She faces pain and agony for a time, but, when it is all over, she holds a precious baby in their arms. If she does not go through the pain, she will not enjoy the reward afterwards. A pregnant woman must be brave as she awaits labor and the painful contractions.

Abigail

"The man's name was Nabal and his wife's name was Abigail; she was a woman of good understanding, and beautiful. But the man was rough and evil in his doings; he was a Calebite."

I Samuel 25:3

"When Abigail saw David, she hastened and lighted off the donkey, and fell before David on her face and did obeisance.

Kneeling at his feet she said, Upon me alone let this guild be, my lord. And let your handmaid, I pray you, speak in your presence, and hear the words of your handmaid.

And when the Lord has done to my lord according to all the good that He has promised concerning you and has made you ruler over Israel,

This shall be no staggering grief to you or cause for pangs of conscience to my lord, either that you have shed blood without cause or that my lord has avenged himself. And when the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then [earnestly] remember your handmaid."

I Samuel 25:23-24, 30-31

    Abigail was a woman of wisdom. She was nothing like her evil husband that did not help David. In I Samuel 25, we learn that Abigail rode out to meet David and fell down before David. She was pleading for mercy. As a woman of wisdom, she knew David could destroy her family. Her wisdom impressed David, so he did not hurt any of her family.

"And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, Who sent you this day to meet me

And blessed be your discretion and advice, and blessed be you who have kept me today from bloodguiltiness and from avenging myself with my own hand.

For as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has prevented me from hurting you, if you had not hurried and come to meet me, surely by morning there would not have been left so much as one male to Nabal."

I Samuel 25:32-34

    David heard her words and was influenced by them. Her wisdom was admirable and courageous. She gave David advice that made him stop and think about his decision. When he thought about the consequences of his actions, he decided to put an end to his revenge. Not long after Abigail convinced David not to take revenge on Nabal and their family, God struck Nabal dead (vs. 38). After Nabal died, David took Abigail as his wife (vs. 40-42).

    When people know us as wise and of good understanding, we are able to lead them through our influence. As we study God's Word, we gain the wisdom of God and grow in understanding. If we are wise through God's Word, we make good decisions that impress others. During times of trials, people want to follow someone who is prosperous and makes the right decision.

Ruth

"Then they wept aloud again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law [good-bye], but Ruth clung to her.

And Naomi said, See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.

And Ruth said, Urge me not to leave you or to turn back from following you; for where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God my God.

Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts me from you.

When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said no more."

Ruth 1:14-18

"Then Naomi her mother-n-law said to Ruth, My daughter, shall I not seek rest or a home for you, that you may prosper?"

And he said, Blessed be you of the Lord, my daughter. For you have made this last loving-kindness greater than the former, for you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich.

And now, my daughter, fear not. I will do for you all you require, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of strength (worth, bravery, capability).

Also he said, Bring the mantle you are wearing and hold it. So [Ruth] held it, and he measured out six measures of barley and laid it on her. And she went into the town."

Ruth 3:1, 10-11, 15

"Also Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, I have bout to be my wife to restore the name of the dead to his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brethren and from the gate of his birthplace. You are witnesses this day."

Ruth 4:10

    Ruth was faithful to her mother-in-law. She went wherever her mother-in-law went. This meant that she did not go back to her own people, but, instead, she went to a foreign land and served her mother-in-law's God. Because of her faithfulness, God blessed her with new possibilities. When she reached Boaz's field, she had nothing and needed to provide for her and her mother-in-law.

    During this time, Naomi gave Ruth orders to go and lie down by Boaz's feet. Everything Naomi told Ruth, she did without questioning her. Naomi's instructions led to Ruth influencing Boaz, and she became his wife. This led Ruth to become part of the ancestry of Jesus Christ. Even though Ruth was not an Israelite, she has her own book in the Bible. Why? Her faithfulness to her mother-in-law and eventually to God gave her favor in His sight.

    We are also required to show faithfulness to God and to his people. Even when we don't know why God is asking us to do something, we need to obey. If you don't know how to hear God's voice, start by reading His Word. His Word is communication between God and men. Sometimes, we might find ourselves drawn to a particular scripture. At this point, we need to read and meditate on the scripture. Usually, God will show us through the scripture how to obey Him.

Esther

"[Mordecai] also gave him a copy of the decree to destroy them, that was given out in Shushan, that he might show it to Esther, explain it to her, and charge her to go to the king, make supplication to him, and plead with him for the lives of her people."

Esther 4:8

"And when the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, she obtained favor in his sight, and he held out to [her] the golden scepter that was in his hand. So Esther drew near and touched the tip of the scepter.

Then the king said to her, What will you have, Queen Ester? What is your request? It shall be give you, even to the half of the kingdom.

And Ester said, If it seems good to the king, let the king and Haman come this day to the dinner that I have prepared for the king.

Then the king said, Cause Haman to come quickly, that what Esther has said may be done.

    So the king and Haman – came to the dinner that Esther had prepared.    

And during the serving of wine, the king said to Esther, What is your petition? It shall be granted you. And what is your request? Even to the half of the kingdom, it shall be performed.

Then Esther said, My petition and my request is: If I have found favor in the sight of the king and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and to perform my request, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the dinner that I shall prepare them; and I will do tomorrow as the king has said.

Haman went away that day joyful and elated in heart. But when he saw Mordecai at the king's gate refusing to stand up or show fear before him, he was filled with wrath against Mordecai."

Esther 5:2-9

"So the king and Haman came to dine with Esther the queen.

And the king said again to Esther on the second day when wine was being served, What is your petition, Queen Esther? It shall be granted. And what is your request? Even to the half of the kingdom, it shall be performed.

Then Queen Ester said, If I have found favor in your sight, O king and if it pleases the king, let my life be given me at my petition and my people at my request.

For we are sold, I and my people, to be destroyed, slain, and wiped out of existence! But if we had been sold for bondmen and bondwomen, I would have held my tongue, for out affliction is not to be compared with the bondage this will do to the king.

Then King Ahasuerus said to Queen Esther, Who s he, and where is he who dares presume in his heart to do that?

And Ester said, An adversary and an enemy, even this wicked Haman. Then Haman was afraid before the king and queen.

So they hanged Haman on the gallows that he had prepared for Mordecai. Then the king's wrath was pacified."

Esther 7:1-6, 10

    Esther was appointed to a position that allowed her to help save her people. Yet, she did not have to obey God. Coming before the king without permission was very dangerous, but she risked her life and asked the king and Haman to eat dinner with her. When they did, she asked if they could come the next night and eat dinner with her again. She was wise and used respect and honor toward the king to influence him. It was also God who she influenced with her obedience. When she obeyed, God gave her favor with the king.

    By the time Queen Ester told the king about Haman's evil plan to get rid of her and her people, she was favored and received a positive answer. Haman was immediately hung on the gallows that Haman had built for Mordecai. After Haman died, Mordecai was placed over the house of Haman. Esther also asked the king to reverse the orders that Haman had set up against the Jews. This was all done, because Esther obeyed and did as God and Mordecai asked.

    If we have problems in our lives and are low on influence, we need to look at our obedience. Do we honor God with our lives and do what His Word says? It is important to honestly answer this question. When we see disobedience in our life, then we need to immediately ask for forgiveness and start obeying God. Even if we have disobedience in our lives, doesn't mean there is no hope. God can change our lives through His Word, but only if we are willing to let Him change us.

The Challenge of the Week

"You have delivered me from the strivings of the people; You made me the head of the nations; a people I had not known served me.

As soon as they heard of me, they obeyed me; foreigners submitted themselves cringingly and yielded feigned obedience to me."

Psalm 18: 43-44

    This week we need to understand the importance of influence. As Christians, we need to influence others, so they can start and develop their relationship with God. If we are not courageous, wise, faithful, and obedient, we will have a hard time influencing any one, especially if we are witnessing to people around us.

    Sometimes, we may need to ask God how to influence others through courage, wisdom, faithfulness, and obedience. God will help us to live a life of influence and gain favor in the eyes of men. These character traits all come from time with God. Our time with God, as I have said before, comes from meditating on God's Word and praying. God has given us the ability to speak the Word to our problems and rely on Him completely.

    As we study God's Word and pray, we will develop the same character traits seen in Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Queen Esther. They are developed over time, so we must patiently wait and get closer to God. God has a plan for our lives, just as He had a plan for Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Queen Esther. Every day, we need to work on our relationship with God and practicing these four character traits.

Leadership Blog

There was a time when I didn't think that I was leadership material. Now, after a lot of study and maturity, I realize that we each have a responsibility as a leader. This does not mean everybody will lead thousands, but it does mean that there will be people in our lives that we need to lead. It could be our families, a Sunday school class, or a group of people at work. Either way, we need to learn to lead them, so that they can also grow into strong leaders.

    We usually associate great leadership skills with natural born leaders. This is not true! Leaders come through studying and working on leadership skills every day. Many times, the people who become the greatest leaders are not considered talented. They just simply decide to work on their leadership skills, because they have nothing to lose. If natural born leaders do not work on their leadership skills on a daily basis, then they will not grow and mature into great leaders.

    Lately, I have dedicated a lot of my time to studying leadership skills. This is an area that I believe is important to my teaching and writing career. Leadership is a part of Brenton and my ministry, so we work on developing the skills. Through this study of leadership, I have found that there are certain skills every leader needs to work on. These skills are becoming uncompromisingly righteous, tending the flock of God, learning to skillfully lead others, keeping up our strength, and becoming a servant like Christ.

Become Uncompromisingly Righteous

"When the [uncompromisingly] righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when the wicked man rules, the people groan and sigh."

Proverbs 29:2

    The first step to leadership development is to work on our relationship with Christ. It is easy to get discouraged when we are not in the Word and having daily devotions. If we discipline ourselves, we can have daily devotions that will mature and grow us. Daily devotions also help us build our relationship with God. In our relationship with God, we receive everything to successfully lead others.

    Sometimes, daily devotions can seem time consuming and tedious. If we start off trying to do too much, we will get overwhelmed and end up quitting our devotions each day. On the other hand, if we start off small and slow, we can build up and lengthen our devotions over time. It is all about working on our devotions each day. The most important part of devotions is our heart. When we make it all about God and building our relationship with Him, devotions are more effective and we see amazing results.

    For years, I dealt with depression and anxiety. After making a commitment to getting up in the morning to spend time with God, I found that I was more and more joyful and have not suffered from depression. This is because in God's presence we receive everything we need. My confidence in Christ has strengthened. He longs for us to spend time with Him, and He makes the commitment to devotions worth our while. This is especially true when we become leaders and witnesses to those around us.

Tend the Flock of God

"Tend (nurture, guard, guide, and fold) the flock of God that is [your responsibility], not by coercion or constraint, but willingly; not dishonorably motivated by the advantages and profits [belonging to the office] but eagerly and cheerfully;"

I Peter 5:2

    Once we become Christians and start our devotions, it is time to learn our leadership skills. These leadership skills will be use to help others inside and outside the church. This leadership comes in many forms. First, we can lead people by helping them receive their necessities. There are many people who desperately need basic necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter. Just giving them these basic necessities can help lead them and encourage them to become better.

    Second, we need to teach them the Word of God. There are times that we need to teach them the Word one-on-one. If they have a question, we need to make ourselves available. Other times, we need to teach a Bible class, which can be a small or large class. Some people may not want to teach small classes, but there are times where it is necessary. Smaller classes can lead to larger classes as we grow in God and His Word.

    Third, we need to willingly listen to others. There was a time when I didn't pay enough attention to others. If someone had a problem, I would turn around and walk away. Sometimes, I would think they just needed to get over their problems and get on with their life. Now, I am a lot tenderer, because I started to ask God to show me people through His eyes. When someone is going through problems, I first pray and then I listen and comfort.

Learn to Skillfully Lead Others

"I indeed baptize you in (with) water because of repentance [that is, because of your changing your minds for the better, heartily amending your ways, with abhorrence of your past sins]. But He Who is coming after me is mightier than I, Whose sandals I am not worthy or fit to take off or carry; He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."

Matthew 3:11

    John the Baptist was talking about Jesus. Jesus was the greatest leader of all times. We need to follow Christ's example and effectively lead. There are certain principles that Christ taught us through His Word. These principles are choosing the right followers, teaching the followers, be influential, and commissioning our followers. As a perfect leader, Jesus shares His secrets in the gospels, so that we can also become great leaders.

Choosing the Right Followers

"Now these are the names of the twelve apostles (special messengers): first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James son of Zebedee, and John his brother;

Philip and Bartholomew [Nathaniel]; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus [Judas, not Iscariot];

Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed Him."

Matthew 10:2-4

    When Christ picked His disciples, he picked men with different talents and with from different backgrounds. Each disciple brought different skills to Christ's ministry. As Christian leaders, we need to appreciate each of our follower's talents and what they bring to our ministries. If we try to change others, we will not benefit from their uniqueness. The point of leadership is to help followers to develop their own gifts while they grow and mature, so they can become leaders themselves. After awhile, they will find someone to lead, which is exactly what happened to Christ and His disciples. When Christ ascended into Heaven, His disciples continued His ministry and lead many other men and women to Christ.

Teaching the Followers

"And He went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and preaching the good news (Gospel) of the kingdom, and healing every disease and every weakness and infirmity among the people."

Matthew 4:23

    Christ led others by teaching them. He not only taught His disciples, but He also taught the crowds that followed Him. This gave His followers all the information they needed to lead Christian lives. He went from town to town teaching everyone about the kingdom of Heaven. We also need to teach our followers, so they can learn, grow, and mature emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Be Influential

"The woman said to Him, I know that Messiah is coming, He Who is called the Christ (the Anointed One); and when He arrives, He will tell us everything we need to know and make it clear to us.

Jesus said to her, I Who now speak with you am He.

Then the woman left her water jar and went away to the town. And she began telling the people,"

John 4:25-26, 28

    When people would meet Christ, they were compelled to listen to His message. Even if they were out to entrap Him, they always stopped and listened to Christ's words. This was due to His ability to influence others. The woman at the well was not only compelled to sit and listen to Him talk, but she also ran to town telling everyone about the man she had met at the well. Everyone came to hear Christ and what He had to say. We need to influence others through our words, too. It doesn't mean we try to manipulate people to do what we want them to do. Instead, we need to use God Word and influence people through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will give us the words to use, and we also need to speak the Word over people's lives.

Commission our Followers

"Jesus approached and, breaking the silence, said to them, All authority (all power of rule) in heaven and on earth has been given to Me.

Go then and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

Teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you, and behold, I am with you all the days (perpetually, uniformly, and on every occasion), to the [very] close and consummation of the age. Amen (So let it be)."

Matthew 28:18-20

    Although Jesus had spent several years training His disciples, He still had one last thing He needed to do. In Matthew 28:18-20, He had called His disciples together to give them their assignments. He commissioned them to make disciples of all nations, baptize them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teach them to observe everything that that He commanded. If Jesus had not taught His disciples, this commission would be pointless. At this point, all of Christ's work was completed and the disciples work was just about to begin.

    We need to do the same thing as leaders. Once we teach our followers, we then need to give them instruction, so they are not guessing what they are to do. A leader who is teaching others to work in the kid's ministry needs to instruct the ministers concerning their responsibilities. When the children's ministers teach their class, they won't have to guess what they need to do. They will be ready to minister and take their responsibilities seriously.

Keep Up Our Strength

"And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint."

Galatians 6:9

    Another part of leadership is not losing heart and growing weary. We need to do good and stay focused on growing spiritually, so we can reap the benefits. When we do good and are obedient, we are able to accomplish a lot more. Although I read the Bible and prayed throughout the day, God put it on my heart to get up early in the morning, so I can spend time with God and not be disturbed. My whole day is more peaceful and productive when I start my day with God, but it also keeps me strong and rested.

    Now, as we become strong and rested, we need to teach others how not to grow weary in doing good. This is usually pretty easy once we have learned this lesson ourselves, because we have become an example.

Become a Servant like Christ

"Not so shall it be among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant."

Matthew 20:26

    Christ went from being royalty and his throne to being a servant. He gave up His own desires to rescue us from sin. Although he could have anything He wanted, he took a simple life to show the way to salvation. This is the way we need to live. As leaders, we need to serve those who we lead and not make ourselves seem better than them. Those who successfully lead others make themselves equal with their followers. Not only do we need to compassionately lead others, but also seek to understand their circumstances and hardships. Instead of putting them down because they make mistakes, we need to share with them how God has brought us out of sin and helps us find forgiveness for our sins.

Challenge for the week:

    This week we need to look at our leadership style. We need to make sure that we are leading as Christ leads us. If we are not leading according to the Bible, we need to start reading through the gospels and learn about Jesus and how He led His disciples. These scriptures will help us lead our followers more effectively.

    As we learn to lead, we will notice that our followers will also begin to lead. They will learn by our example. This is a great feeling, because now your leadership is increasing. Those that you have taught to lead will also teach others to lead. Many leaders become great due to this process. We are all able to become great leaders, but it takes daily preparation and planning. Of course, the most important part of leadership is building a relationship with God. A relationship with God is built through daily devotions, praise and worship.

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Additions Resources

• All scriptures were taken from the amplified Bible.
• If you like the skills of a leader also read The teal Trust @ http://www.teal.org.uk/dl/jesus.htm

The Peace Blog

"For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you."

Isaiah 54:10

There are times when my life seems chaotic and out of control. This is when I know peace is missing. In the past, I didn't know that I could pursue and find peace. At this time, I would not only have a lack of peace for myself, but my home, family, and work would all feel chaotic. Longing to find peace, I started to work on finding peace for every area of my life, and, now, I am able to live peacefully on a more regular basis.

Peace is important in our lives, so that we can live healthy, happy lives. When we have peace in our lives, we are able to complete tasks quicker and with a more positive attitude. It is also valuable, because, most of the time, we are not peaceful due to dwelling in the past. The moment peace shows up, we find ourselves with the ability to let go of past mistakes and wrongs. This is why I know that peace gives us freedom from negative emotions. Negative emotions and peace cannot cohabitate, so allowing peace to rule our lives is the key to eliminating depression, anxiety, and other negative emotions.

Since I was a young teenager, I struggled with depression and anxiety, but I am now free due to the peace that I have found. Does that mean that depression and anxiety doesn't try to creep back into my life? Of course they do, but I now know how to combat them and regain my freedom. There are some steps that I take to regain this peaceful freedom. These steps include praying, reading, studying, and meditating on God's Word, having a positive attitude, cleaning up physical and emotional messes, and singing or listening to praise and worship.

Praying

"I will listen [with expectancy] to what God the Lord will say, for He will speak peace to His people, to His saints (those who are in right standing with Him) - but let them not turn again to [self-confident] folly.

Mercy and loving-kindness and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

Truth shall spring up from the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven."

Psalm 85:8, 10, 11

Praying is sometimes the last thing we try. When we are not peaceful, we will try everything else before prayer. There are times when we try shopping to bring us peace, but we usually end up feeling worse after we have spent the money. Other times, we try eating extremely fatting foods, but this definitely leaves us feeling horrible about ourselves and doesn't bring us peace.

If I have problems and I pray, I receive the peace that I need to carry on. When I pray, I always start with praise and worship. This helps me align my thoughts with God, and it helps me understand that He is in charge and the only one who can give me peace. Next, I give Him the situation and leave it in His hands. Finally, I end with thanks, which helps me to get in the mind-set that the problem is resolved and I am at peace. Every time I feel the peace to dwindle, I begin to thank God for His peace.

Reading, Studying, and Meditating on God's Word

"Acquaint now yourself with Him [agree with God and show yourself to be conformed to His will] and be at peace; by that [you shall prosper and great] good shall come to you."

Job 22:21

The second way to get peace back into our lives is by reading, studying, and meditating on God's Word. Reading God's Word helps us learn to live in the Spirit. When we live in the Spirit we produce His fruit, which includes peace. The Bible is packed full of scriptures that relate to peace. We need to check out the following scriptures about peace and read them when we need more peace in our lives:

Job 22:21

Psalm 85:8, 10, 11

Proverbs 16:7

Isaiah 26:3

Isaiah 54:10

Isaiah 58:8

John 14:27

Philippians 4:7

II Thessalonians 3:16

Hebrews 12:14

Studying the Word of God is a little different than reading. When we read the Word of God, we may read maybe once or twice. To study, we concentrate on each scripture and learn it, so we can apply it to our lives. One way of studying is to write a scripture on an index card or piece of paper, and reading it every time we have our devotions or do not feel peaceful.

Meditating on the Word is an intimate way to study the scripture. When we meditate on God's scripture, we think about the scripture until it is deep in our hearts and minds. Through meditation, we can get questions answered and a peace that calms every storm. For me, meditation has taken time to learn. Every time I try to meditate on the Word, I have to work on focusing my mind on the scripture and not my circumstances. Although I am learning how to meditate, I still do not meditate on God's Word like I should. Practice makes perfect, so we should be patient with ourselves and do our best.

Having a Positive Attitude

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]"

    John 14:27    

If we constantly dwell on negative thoughts, our whole attitude will be negative. When we have negative attitudes, we are more likely to worry about our circumstances. God has given us everything we need to succeed. This is why we need to change our negative attitudes to positive attitudes. Our attitudes can allow us to enjoy life and not be affected by the world.

Having a positive attitude is one of the most difficult steps for me. Every little inconsistency in my life can cause me to get irritated, so I have to watch that I immediately deal with that irritation and get rid of the negative attitude. The best way for me to deal with my negative attitude is to stop and give the negative attitude to God, and ask Him to show me what is causing me to have this attitude.

A lot of times, my negative attitude is stemming from fear, negative thoughts, or low confidence. When God shows me what is causing my attitude, I ask God to take away the negativity and replace it with love. If I follow through with this process, I find peace that calms my fears, changes my negative thoughts to positive, and gives me a confidence in who I am through Christ. Suddenly, my attitude changes and I am able to show love to others and to myself.

Cleaning Up Physical and Emotional Messes

"And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:7

When I don't feel good or my house is messy, it is more difficult to feel at peace. The last couple of weeks, I have worked on organizing and cleaning my home. This helped my house feel peaceful, so my family and friends could enjoy the house and each other.

Of course, cleaning up emotional messes is even more important to a peaceful life. It is extremely important to forgive anyone who has offended us, so that it does not leave us bitter. When we forgive others, peace can be restored to us. Other negative emotions that we need to get rid of are hate, impatience, depression, anxiety, and selfishness.

Some may wonder why I included selfishness, but I included it from personal experience. The emotion that robs me of peace is selfishness. We usually associate selfishness with children, but adults are just as selfish as children. There are times where I catch myself getting upset, because I didn't get my own way. Every time I start feeling selfish and restless, I give it to God and allow Him to change me.

Singing or Listening to Praise and Worship

"Let us therefore, receiving a kingdom that is firm and stable and cannot be shaken, offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship, with modesty and pious care and godly fear and awe;"

Hebrews 12:28

Praise and worship is a powerful way to bring peace into our lives. When I sing praise and worship, I feel a peace that stops the chaos. If I am unable to sing, I put on a CD and listen to praise and worship. Sometimes, when we are in the car and my kids are unsettled, I put on praise and worship. Each time I put on the praise and worship, the kids calm down and I feel at peace.

Some Sunday mornings, I may not feel like going to church, but, after the praise and worship starts, I feel the peace and my body no longer hurts. In God's peace there is joy and healing. It is important that I do not leave praise and worship at church. Singing and listening to praise and worship throughout the week is vital to peaceful life.

This Week's Challenge

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you."

John 14:27

When we find peace, we are more joyful and healthier. Peace can help calm anxiety and ease depression. This is why our challenge for this week is to pursue peace. We can pursue peace by praying, reading, studying, and meditating on the Word of God, having a positive attitude, cleaning up physical and emotional messes, and singing or listening praise and worship.

For additional information on some of these topics, please check out the following links:

Studying the Word

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/studying-the-word.html

Thoughts

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/thoughts.html

Positive New Language

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/positive-new-language.html

Forgiveness

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/forgiveness.html

    

Frustration Blog

There are times in my life when I have struggled with frustration. It is when I feel like nothing in my life is going right. The optimal word is feels. Sometimes, I may feel like everything is going wrong, but it is not as bad as my feelings would have me to believe. These moments are depressive and lonely. In these moments, everything seems like it's coming unraveled.

    Many times, these moments of frustration come right after I complete a successful journey. It is a time of lull, and I become emotional over everything that happens. My mood is down and my family suffers, because I am less likely to control my temper. Before I started on my personal development journey, I would give into my anger and scream at who ever ticked me off. This included my husband, Brenton, and my children.

    This all occurred before I found ways to deal with frustration. Once I understood frustration and learned how to control the frustration, I was happier more often. My life use to stay in frustration mode, but, now, I am more likely to have good days with no frustration. This makes not only me happy, but it creates a peace in my home and makes my family happy.

    To deal with frustration, I have created my own steps that help me through frustration. These steps are getting into God's presence, helping someone else, finding purpose, and taking a break. When I apply these steps, it helps me to get through frustrating moments. Each step is vital to getting through frustration and getting in a better mood. The better mood is not only for my sake, but also for everyone who has to live with me.

1. Getting into God's Presence

   By this we shall come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we are of the Truth, and can reassure (quiet, conciliate, and pacify) our hearts in His presence,

    

   Whenever our hearts in [tormenting] self-accusation make us feel guilty and condemn us [For we are in God's hands.] For He is above and greater than our consciences (our hearts), and He knows (perceives and understands) everything [nothing is hidden from Him].

   I John 3:19, 20

       To truly get into the presence of God, there are three things we need to do daily. First, we need to praise and worship Him. In praise and worship, we get our spirits lined up with His Spirit. Praise and worship can be done through singing, dancing, writing, and declaring God's wonders. As long as we are singing, dancing, writing, and declaring God's wonder with a humble heart, we will enjoy his presence. A humble heart means we know God gets all the glory and not us.

   Next, to get into God's presence, we need to pray. Prayer helps build our relationship with God. This doesn't mean we just talk continuously to God without a break. We find it annoying when others preoccupy the conversation. Conversations are two-sided. If we want to have a conversation with God, we need to pray and meditate on God and His greatness. If you focus on God and not our daily schedule or what is happening in the future, we will experience God's presence.

   Finally, the Bible is God's Word and our travel guide through life. It is necessary for us not only to read the Bible, but study and apply the Word of God to our life. Without the Bible, we do not know God's instructions and can become even more frustrated. If we will study thoroughly the Word of God, it will show us how to live victoriously and stop frustration before it pulls us down.

2. Helping Someone Else

   And we are now writing these things to you so that our joy [in seeing you included] may be full [and your joy may be completed].

   I John 1:4

    

   If we feel frustrated with our situation, we need to turn our attention to someone else and help them with a problem. This gets our mind off of our own situation, and it gives us the satisfaction of helping others. There is a reward of joy that helps us through difficult moments. Writing is one of the ways I try to help others.

   As we watch others grow and get through problems, it can also give us new ideas to help with our own problems. Recently, I helped a friend with one of her college classes. During this time, I found ways to effectively study for my own graduate class. Now, I am able to get my work done more efficiently and study less with better results.

   My mother-n-law, Karen Belknap, always helps others. At first, I didn't understand why she was so eager to help others. Now, I understand that it brings her joy, especially when the other person succeeds. If we help others, their success is accredited to us as well. It is a great feeling to know that you have gone through a problem with someone else, which can help build a relationship with that person. In addition, when you have a problem, they are more eager to help you out. It is a great way to build relationships with others.

3. Finding our Purpose

    

   "Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."

   John F. Kennedy

    

       To get our focus away from whatever is frustrating us, we need to work on something that is important to us. As long as our focus is not what is frustrating us, we will get energy from working on finding and fulfilling our purpose. When I am frustrated, I write, work on my Bible Studies, or read one of my favorite books. This helps get me back to feeling better about my life and gets me closer to success.

       For example, I am taking a summer graduate class. When I take summer classes, I find it more difficult, because the rest of the family is ready for summer fun. They don't appreciate staying in the house while I study. There are times when I have to stop working on my class work and do something else. Sometimes, especially during these summer classes, I get out of the house with my family and have fun. Other times, I just switch my focus to something I like to do, such as working on my blog. Well, that is what I'm doing right now. My assignment is due this next Monday, so I am trying to get my paper done. Unfortunately, I was getting frustrated and had to switch to my blog, which is important to me and makes me feel fulfilled and successful.

4. Taking a Break

"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop."

Ovid

Of course, there are times when we can't even work on our purpose. These are the times that we need to stop working and start resting. Many times, we become frustrated due to exhaustion, so we need to lie down and take a nap or do something that doesn't take as much energy. After we rest, most likely, we are able to get a lot more work done. Sometimes, pushing ourselves to complete a project when we are exhausted is counterintuitive.

At these times, I try to take a nap, which is hard when you have children. They love to burst through the door when I have just fallen asleep. This is when I decide to either take them to grandma's house or lock my door. No, this does not always work, but this is when I find other relaxing activities like reading a book or watching my favorite shows. After a long day, I love to curl up next to my husband, Brenton, or one of my children and watch a movie. Many times, I fall asleep and get the rest I want as the kids are preoccupied by the movie.

Challenge for the Week

This week we need to figure out what is frustrating us. If we are frustrated, our lives are not as productive. When we work on finding ways to eliminate our frustration before it even begins, we can live each day with more joy. It also means that, even if we are not frustrated at any time this week, we need to work on preparing ourselves by practicing God's presence, helping other people, finding our purpose, and eliminating exhaustion even before we get to the point of frustration. Practice acting as if you cannot fail, because God has a plan for your life and He will see it through to completion.

"All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail."

Dorothea Brande

Personal Development

"Always bear in mind that our own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing."

Abraham Lincoln

Personal development is my passion. Since I graduated from high school, I have worked on my own personal development. Now, I try to take what I am learning and teach others. It is my desire to use my talents and help people succeed in their own life.

The most important lesson that I have learned is that if we do not progress we regress. There is no such thing as standing still. Many of us complain that we take a few steps forward and a couple of steps back. This is due to progressing in our personal development and then stopping the development process. When we make strides in our development, we sometimes become tired and need to rest. We just need to make sure we don't rest for too long.

Personal development is bettering ourselves in all areas of our lives. These personal development steps includes building our identity, specifying our values, creating a personal development plan, identifying our priorities and setting our goals, increasing our potential through education, accepting and learning from our mistakes, and celebrating our successes. These are on the top of my personal development list. Each one of these step leads to successful personal development.

Building our Identity

The first step to personal development is building our identity. When we know who we are, we are more likely to accept ourselves and succeed in every area of our life. Many times, we are told as children who we are, how we should act, and what we should do with our lives. There are some of us who conform to others wishes for us, but we don't realize who we are and what we can do.

It's okay for parents to correct their children, so they become effective citizens and develop values for their lives. On the other hand, it is not okay for parents to tell their children what type of personality they need to have and what career is right for them. We are born with our personalities, so trying to change ourselves would be futile and frustrating. The key to building our identity is to learn our personality style, desires, and talents.

There are several assessments that I have taken to discover my personality. To find personality assessments go to a search engine and type in personality assessment. Several will probably pop up, so we have several to choose from. It is vital to take more than one personality assessment, so we can get a broader perspective of our personality.

A great way to really understand how we relate to the people closest to us is by giving them the test. If we find it hard to relate to our spouses, giving them this test will help understand where there may be an area of conflict. This is also a good idea for parents, because we need to know if we are upset with our children or there just a personality conflict. Another good idea is to get friends to take a personality test, so conflicts can be avoided and friendships saved.

Specifying our Values

Values are a vital part of personal development. When we know our values, we can base our decisions on those values. This way we can feel good about the decisions we make, and we can feel like we stayed true our own beliefs and principles. When we do not specify our values, we can make unethical decisions that not only hurt others, but it can hurt our confidence and decision-making skills.

The first thing we need to do is understand the meaning of value. Value is what we consider important and is a compass that guides our decisions. It basically is what we consider excellent and good for our lives.

Here are some questions to ask when developing our values:

1. Do I have values that are important in my life?
2. What are those values?
3. What are other values that need to become a priority in my life?
4. Am I making decisions based on my values?
5. Am I satisfied with the decisions that I have made in the past?

After answering the questions above, we will have a good idea what we value. Next, we need to write our list of values and put it where we can see it often. When we are making decisions, it is important to refer to our values. This way we can feel more confident in everything we do.

When I made my list of values it looked like the following:

1. Devotion
2. Hard-work
3. Perseverance
4. Honesty
5. Education

Identifying our priorities

First, we need identify our priorities. Identifying our priorities is essential to successful personal development. If we don't prioritize our life, we could easily work on goals that are not as important. Answer the questions below to get an understanding of what is really important.

1. What is the purpose of my life?
2. What steps do I need to take to live a purposeful life?
3. Who do I enjoy spending my time with the most?
4. What activities do I enjoy?
5. Where do I like to go?
6. What are my career ambitions?
7. What kind of education do I need to pursue my career?
8. What personal problems do I need to get over, so that I can become success

When I prioritized, I realized that my family was extremely important to me. Of course, I spend time with my family, but I knew that I needed to increase my time with each one individually. For each family member, I have tried to increase the alone time with each one of them. Every day, I cuddle with my boys, but my daughter is not one who enjoys cuddling. This meant that I needed to find a different way to spend time with her. On a daily basis, I talk with Snow and listen to stories or ideas she has, which is something Snow likes to do. From time to time, I also take her out to shop just the two of us or with a group of girls. With my husband, Brenton, spend time together talking, because Brenton likes to talk.

Another value that was neglected was my education. A year ago, I stopped taking college courses, but this always bothered me. Receiving my masters was vital to my success. Since January, I felt the need to return to graduate school. On the first day of enrollment, I enrolled in my first class. This class was one of several classes needed to complete my masters. Now, I feel like my priorities are back on track, so I am happier and more fulfilled. When our priorities are off track, we can feel like something is missing, which can make us feel sad. Once we get back to our priorities, we can advance in our development and feel satisfied in our lives.

Creating a Personal Development Plan

Creating a personal development plan is an important part of increasing our personal development. If we don't progress, we regress. To continuously develop and grow, we need a road map. This plan or map will give us direction to better our lives and live without regret.

Every few months, I create new plans and update old plans. In my plans, I have steps that I need to take for every area of my life. For my role as mom, I have created steps to help my children with their education and social development. In my role as student, I have a plan to complete my graduate degree, which includes each class needed for graduation. As a wife, I need to set goals to build a stronger relationship with my husband.

This plan needs to reflect our own goals in life. If we desire to graduate with a doctorate, we need to have a plan that includes the milestones needed to obtain a doctorate degree. When planning a career, we need to write out where we want to work, what degrees we need, and any conflicts that need attention before we are successful. In my career planning, I know what type of company I want to work for, but I don't know the exact company, yet. In addition, I am getting a masters degree that will further my career, but I need to make other arrangement for my family while I work. Before I officially start my career, I need to work on eliminating my conflicts.

Increasing our Potential through Education

In my previous posts, I have talked about how important education is to everyone. Education has increased my personal development immensely. Education is not just about attending a school. It is a continual process of learning in various areas of our lives. Whether or not we attend classes or get a formal education, we need to develop and increase our mental capacity.

For example, my mom never graduated from college, but she studied the Bible and knew the right scriptures to lean on in every situation. The spiritual part of her life was top priority, and she continually studied and grew. As she learned, she taught me through words and actions that I needed to studied and grow in every area of my life. This is why I honor her by increasing my education.

We have multiple areas in our lives that need growth. Some of these areas are our minds, bodies, relationships, spirit, and careers. Education in each part of our lives will increase our potential. As we grow, we are able to expand what we can do. As we read books or attend classes on parenting, we are able to raise our children in the proper way. If we have a health problem, it is good for us to learn how to take better care of our bodies.

Accepting and Learning from our Mistakes

There is one thing that I have learned, and that is we all make mistakes. For a long time, I would get extremely angry with myself for all of my mistakes. This is where a lot of my depression started. Depression made it hard to forgive my mistakes. Fortunately, I was able to find a way to control my emotions, so that my emotions wouldn't control me.

Instead of getting upset with my mistakes, I now learn from them. If I don't study enough for a test and do poorly, then, instead of getting upset, I study even harder for the next test. When I speak too harshly to someone, instead of getting depressed, I ask them to forgive me and learn to speak more kindly.

When we learn from our mistakes, we can teach others, too. This starts with our children who need to learn that their parents are not perfect, and that there is a solution to every problem. Next, we need to share our mistakes with friends, family, and associates. If we can learn from each other's mistakes, we don't have to all make the same mistakes over and over, again.

Celebrating our Successes

As we progress in our personal development, it is important to celebrate each milestone and big success. When we complete classes or are able to control our temper, we need to give ourselves a reward. It is also important to have a bigger celebration when we experience major accomplishments. This will inspire us to set and reach even more goals.

When I graduated from college, I had a beautiful reception with my family and friends. In two years, I will graduate with my masters, but I am already planning an even more elaborate celebration. This helps me focus and gives me the drive to see it through. This drive gives me incentive to push through difficult moments and know that I am able to succeed.

It is a great idea that we surround ourselves with people who will actually motivate and inspire us. If we hang out with negative people, we will struggle with negativity. On the other hand, hanging out with positive people who are confident and secure in themselves, will influence us to confidently pursue our purpose. The great part of friends who positively support us is that they can help us celebrate our successes.

This week's challenge is to actively pursue success by building our identity, specifying our values, identifying our priorities and setting our goals, creating a personal development plan, increasing our potential through education, accepting and learning from our mistakes, and celebrating our successes. Each step can build on the other. When we work on personal development, we increase our ability and potential.

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

Mark Twain

Depression

"Drag your thoughts ways from troubles… by the ears, buy the heals, or any other way you can manage it."

Mark Twain

This blog is not written by a counselor. It is written by someone who has suffered the effects of depression. There was a time in my life that it was a treat to have a depression free day. My life was a whirl wind of emotion, and I could never see anything better. Every thought was depressive, and every word that came out of my mouth was depressive.

This life of depression was taking its toll on my relationships and my health. Every day, I suffered with a migraine and muscle pain. No one knew how to help me, and I didn't know how to help myself. Many of my friends thought I was just becoming anti-social, so they withdrew from me.

Yes, there were good days, but they were seldom. Even my daughter, Snow, suffered, because I wasn't always present. There were times where my mom, Shirley, and Aunt Ellen had to take Snow for me. This caused even more pain, because I felt guilt and shame at not taking care of Snow.

There is good news, though. In the last ten years, my depression has decreased significantly. It did not happen overnight, because depression is multifaceted. Brenton likes to use the illustration of an onion. Once I started dealing with the emotions that were on the top layer, I always found a second layer. The bottom layers are emotions that are buried due to the pain it causes.

One by one, I have dealt with these painful emotions. Even now, after all this time, I still find emotions that I need to face. Now, I am getting to the primary emotions that are the most painful. This is how I see emotional healing: first, I dealt with the less painful emotions and now they don't bother me. Next, I deal with slightly more painful emotions and they no longer bother me. This goes on and on until I finally deal with the most painful emotions. Each time I learn to deal with an emotion, I have learned enough to go on to the slightly more painful emotions.

Sometimes, I want to jump right in and deal with the primary source of my depression, but, I am not ready to deal with the pain. This primary pain is too overwhelming and could cause my depression to worsen. Plus, I have reached a level of my emotions that I thought was the primary source, but, after dealing with the depression, I realized that there were many more levels underneath.

During this process, I thought there was no end. This is not true, because I have finally reached a place where I see the end in sight. It takes time, but, eventually, I began to feel like there was nothing I couldn't handle. Now, I realize that God has given me everything I need to conquer depression. It was my decision whether I received the healing or not.

"Lord, make me an instrument of your place; where there is your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, hope; where there is darkness, light, and where there is sadness, joy."

St. Francis of Assis

There are specific steps that I take to combat depression. When I feel depressed, I get up and get dressed, refrain from splurging, and talk to a close friend. It is also important that I continuously work on my emotions by creating a gratitude journal, forgiving myself, and eat a healthy diet and exercise. The first set of activities is what I do during a time of depression, and the second set of activities is what I do when I am not depressed.

It is extremely important that I get up and get dressed no matter how I feel. The more I lounge around and sulk, the more I get depressed. If I get up, put on some nice clothes, and put on make-up, I begin to slowly feel good, again. Yes, it is really hard and it doesn't always work immediately, but, eventually, I start to pull out of my depression.

There are times where I go the extra mile and get my hair done at the salon. Just to get my hair washed and styled makes me perk up and ready for my day. If I am unable to go to a salon, I style my own hair. Either way, I feel much better after I fix myself up.

One thing that causes my depression to increase is splurging. Sometimes, I try to suppress my depression by eating or spending money. After the depression subsides, the fact that I have over eaten and spent too much money sets in, and I start feeling depressed, again. It is important that I refrain from making any major decisions, which usually ends in me making a bad decision or splurging.

When I am depressed, the most important thing I need to do is talk to a friend. The friend I talk to is the closest friend I know, and that person is Brenton. He knows exactly what to do during these times, which is to hold me close and listen. There is nothing more special than a friend who actively listens or quietly sits with you without judgment.

It is important for me to never go through depression alone. Even when I feel like hiding in my room, I push myself to spend time with others. This is not just to cheer me up, but helps make sure I don't do anything rash. This includes splurging or hurting myself in any way.

"You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent their making a nest in your head."

Chinese Proverb

"It is the Lord who goes before you; He will [march] with you; He will not fail you or let you go or forsake you; [let there be no cowardice or flinching, but] fear not, neither become broken [in spirit- depressed, dismayed, and unnerved with alarm].

Deuteronomy 31:8

Sometime depression is a product of frustration. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed and down because of something that is not right in my life. This is when I pull out my gratitude journal and look at all the reasons I should be grateful. Like everyone else, I have suffered for various reasons, but I have also had many wonderful moments and amazing people touch my life.

A gratitude journal is very simple to make. All I do is use a journal I have bought from a store, a homemade journal that is made from a notebook, lined or unlined paper, or a computer. Right now, my gratitude journal is my computer. Writing a gratitude journal was awkward at first, but now almost all of my journal writing is gratitude. Once I realized all the things I had to thank God for, I focused on the positive events in my life instead of the negative ones.

Forgiveness is a subject that I talk about often. It is harder to forgive myself than anyone else. When I fail to forgive myself, I leave room for depression to move in and mess with my emotions. Depression has haunted me, because it is extremely hard for me to forgive me. This is where prayer and meditation is so important. If I pray and meditate every morning, I am less likely to deal with depression.

When I first started to meditate, I didn't quite understand how much it would affect my life. Prayer is talking to God, but meditation is listening. Sure, it is important to talk with God, because communication is the best way to build a relationship, but, like all relationships, meditation is even more important. It is the active listening that we use when talking with God.

"Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you,

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully."

I Peter 5:6, 7

The one thing that can depress me more than anything is the way I eat and lack of exercise. If I eat right and exercise, I don't deal with depression as much. On the other hand, when I eat junk food and do not exercise, I feel sick and miserable. Of course, there were moments in my life where I actually became obsessed with diet and exercise. This caused me to feel depressed, too.

There should always be a balance. It is important for me to eat six small, healthy meals a day and exercise for an hour. If I don't get the chance to exercise for an hour, I don't beat myself up. Right now, I know my exercise program is almost nonexistent. If I can get back to my walking routine, I know I will feel so much better.

Depression is hard on anyone it attacks. There are times when I have used anti-depressants. At that time, I had no other choice, because I couldn't think on my own. Now, I am able to use the techniques in this blog to help me with my depression.

"But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

Psalm 3:3

At times, depression has made me feel useless. The one thing I wanted in my life was to feel like I made a difference. When I was depressed, I never felt like I did anything for anyone. This was a lie, and, now, I understand that I can pursue my purpose even when I feel depressed.

Depression will not rob me of my dreams and purpose. The purpose for my life is written down, so, when I do feel depressed and useless, I can read it and move forward in my pursuits. God knew I would deal with depression, but He gave me everything I need to succeed.

There are two truths that I have come to hold dear. They help me through depression, and they have helped decrease the amount of times I go through depression. These two truths are that I was created special and that I was created for this time. All of these truths took me a long time to learn, but they are now an essential part of my reasoning.

Many times, I did not feel like I was created special. These are the times that I just want to see the uniqueness in me. After I began to see the uniqueness in me, I started to understand that I also had to appreciate my own uniqueness. This I learned from watching my children. Each of them has a special personality that I would not change. When I realized how wonderful their uniqueness was, I decided to work on loving my own uniqueness. At this time in my life, I really understood that God had created each of us special and our uniqueness was a gift.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Psalm 139:14

Everyone was born for a specific time and place. When I am depressed, I remind myself that today is my time. As I work on my blogs, books, and seminar topics, I think about all the people that might be inspired by my message. Pursuing my purpose has decreased the frequency of my depression, so I am able to increase my productivity.

Finding my purpose was the key to controlling my depression. My purpose is written down, so, every time I feel useless, I read my purpose out loud. There are times where I have to read my purpose over and over, again. It also helps me to read my purpose statement out loud. This helps me hear myself state the purpose. After hearing my own voice say my purpose statement over and over, it became ingrained in my mind and my heart.

Depression is hard to go through, but it is not impossible. God has a plan for my life. It is important for me to understand that I can succeed, even in the midst of depression. This week's challenge is to take the necessary steps to deal with depression. Success is my goal, and depression is just a speed bump. If I can use these techniques to get through my depression, I will be able to take giant steps closer to success and teach others to be successful, too.

"Reading makes a full man, meditation makes a profound man, discourse a clear man."

Benjamin Franklin

 

DISCLAIMER: This information is provided "as is". The author of this information disclaims any loss or liability, either directly or indirectly as a consequence of applying the information presented herein, or in regard to the use and application of said information. No guarantee is given, either expressed or implied, in regard to the merchantability, accuracy, or acceptability of the information.

Always consult your physician

This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read

Relationships

"We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all."

Eleanor Roosevelt

"And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as [you do] yourself."

Proverbs 22:39

Relationships are necessary to develop and maintain. If we didn't have relationship, then we would be alone. Each day, we should be grateful for the family and friends we know and love, but we also need to continue to develop new relationships. Many times, we either stop creating new relationships or we neglect the relationships we have now.

We were created to socialize and grow together. When we stop socializing and growing together, we become sick emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The people that I have met who struggle with friendships are sad. The world is unfair and they grumble and complain about how bad they are treated. Every time people try to get close to them, they are pushed away by the person's bitterness. Sometimes they lash out at people and put everybody down.

These bitter people are hurt, but long for real relationships. They hurt others, because they were hurt. The problem is that they go into relationships with their hand out. Their thought is, "what can I get out of this relationship, or will this person hurt me?" If they go into a relationship with this kind of attitude, they will end up getting hurt.

No one is perfect, so sometimes we say things we shouldn't. As we enter relationships, we need to ask how we can help the other people. Our relationships should be based on the kind of love that God has for us. We break His heart all the time, but He willingly and easily forgives us. He treats us, not as naughty little children, but as His adoring children and He pours out love and tenderness. God's mercy should be proof enough that we need to love even when we've been hurt.

Successful relationships are built on trust and love. Relationships are like special birthday cakes that are made with specific ingredients. These ingredients are forgiveness, communication, encouragement, and investing in the relationship. These ingredients don't sound that hard, but many times we don't apply one or all of them to our relationships. Just like a cake, we can ruin relationships when we miss one of the ingredients.

Forgiveness is the most important ingredient in relationships. This means we need to learn how to immediately forgive when we are offended. The problem with this ingredient is that we are taught today to protect ourselves from offenses, and we are encouraged to get even with our offenders. When someone holds on to hurts, it hurts the person who won't forgive more than the person who was the offender. Revenge is never the answer.

Brenton, my wonder husband, and I decided a long time ago that forgiveness was the only way to go. When we are offended by each other, we immediately work on forgiving one another. Just in case, I tell people that I forgive him in the morning when I get up and at night before I go to bed. This doesn't mean he is a bad person. Actually, Brenton is one of the greatest men I know, but we all do things that offend people. We may not even know we have offended someone. What one person views as offensive, another may just think it is funny. This is why I forgive Brenton on a regular basis. There should be no offense that comes between us.

"And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you."

Ephesians 4:32

The next most important ingredient in relationships is communication. There are times when we think we are communicating effectively, but we are not. Effective communication creates strong bonds, but poor communication that breaks down bonds and destroys relationships. Many of us never really learn how to effectively communicate.

In communication, we need to use active listening, clearly state what we want, and don't assume anything. This will help strengthen our relationships. Relationships are directly linked to our joy. For us to truly be happy we must establish healthy relationships.

Active listening is one of the hardest techniques for us to use. We like to have conversations, but, usually, no one is listening. While the other person is talking, we are thinking of what we need to say next or what we will do this weekend. Relationships need more people listening and less people talking.

Believe me, I am someone who needs to learn listening skills. The other day, I was on the phone with a friend. When I hung up, I realized I interrupted the person several times and did most of the talking. There are very few people who actually listen to what others are saying.

This causes confusion and misunderstandings. When we fail to actively listen, we do not get all the information we need. This is one thing that parents need to realize with their children. Our children are extremely intelligent. When we do not listen to them, they can tell or ask us anything and later we don't remember. This gives the children an advantage, so we need to listen carefully to every word our children say. It also hurts the child when we don't listen to them. They begin to feel like they have nothing important to say.

For some people, active listening is quite easy, but for others it is really hard. First, we need to focus on what the person is saying. When the person takes a break from what they are saying, clarify what they have said. For example, if I have a friend who is talking to me about her sick mom, this is what a conversation would be like:

Friend: "My mom is really sick and in the hospital. I'm really worried about her. I'll probably spend most of the weekend up at the hospital."

Me: "Oh, I am sorry to hear that your mom is in the hospital. I know she'll love your company this weekend."

This not only forces me to pay attention, but it also lets my friend know that I am paying attention. If I make a statement like the one above, then she can correct any misunderstandings that occurred. Maybe she said she couldn't go to the hospital this weekend.

Active listening takes practice. As you notice above, I didn't repeat exactly what my friend said, but, instead, I paraphrased what she said. If you just repeat exactly what the person says, there is no real feeling. It sounds like a robot mimicking talking. When we talk to people, we want to bring warmth into our conversations. The only way to do this is through a lot of practice.

Another way we can practice active listening is by writing out parts of conversations we've have in the past. We don't have to write out the whole conversation, but enough that we know what the person was talking about. Next, we write a response that reflects active listening. It could be as simple as the one above, or it can be more complex.

Clearly stating what we want may sound natural, but most people don't actually say what they want. We all have our own code that we think everyone should understand. This isn't just between men and women. Women have just as much trouble understanding other women, and I have watched misunderstandings arise between men because they didn't state what they expected.

When we want something specific, we need to ask for it by giving details. For most us, details do matter, but we settle for whatever we get. Why? Most likely it is due to fear. Fear stops us from receiving what we truly want. There are times when I realize I haven't used specific words to describe what I want. This means I am given what I really don't want or only part of what I want. To ensure we receive what we want or need, we need to tell people exactly what we want and not fear their reactions. Most likely, they will appreciate us clearly stating what we want and not making them guess.

The following is an example of a conversation about ice cream. Brenton is taking the kids to the store to pick out ice cream. I'm staying home and working. Here is our conversation over ice cream:

Brenton: "Tina, what kind of ice cream do you want?"

Me: "Whatever you can find that I like."

Brenton: "Okay."

Brenton goes to the store and comes back with cookies and cream. He hands me the ice cream and leaves the room. Of course, cookies and cream is not my favorite ice cream, but he doesn't know. He assumes since he likes cookie and creams that I like it, too. Now, I am upset, because I don't have any ice cream that I like.

Let's try this again, but this time I will clearly state what I want:

Brenton: "Tina, what kind of ice cream do you want?"

Me: "Well, I really like strawberry cheesecake, but, if they don't have it, then I will take chocolate. Please, remember to bring some whip cream, nuts, and cherries."

Brenton: "Okay."

Now, Brenton not only know what type of ice cream I want, but I've given him a back up and the extras I want. There will be no confusion in this conversation, and Brenton was not upset at me for giving him specifics. Actually, Brenton prefers it when I tell him exactly what I want. This way he doesn't have to guess.

Finally, we need to never assume anything. Many people read into what others say or do, and they don't ask questions for clarification. Although they may say one thing, they may think something totally different. When my daughter, Snow, tells me she wants something, I always ask for details. If she says she wants to go out on Friday night, I ask her where, when, why, who, and how.

Now, Snow is only twelve, so I know that she has to have a chaperone to take her anywhere. She is someone who likes to go out and have fun. Many times, when she asks if she can go out, she really doesn't care who goes with her. This means, as a family, we can go have Friday fun night. Of course, there are times when she wants a specific friend to go out with and no brothers. Then Brenton and I get to decide who takes Snow or who watches the boys.

If I did not ask Snow for more details, I would assume she wanted family night out. This would greatly disappoint Snow and she would not have as much fun. Snow usually lets us know exactly what she wants, but there are times when I need to ask questions for clarification.

In business, this is just as important. An employer may give an assignment to an employee, but they never give detail on how to do it or get it done. The employer may assume the employee already knows how to do the job. This could be true, but, sometimes, employees don't know how to do a job and are too scared to ask questions. Asking questions is vital to all jobs. People lose their jobs on a regular basis, because they did not ask questions.

"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"

Abraham Lincoln

Every friend has times when they need extra encouragement, but we should encourage in good times and bad times. For some people, encouragement is very natural. Others struggle to give a word of encouragement. These people need to understand that we don't always have to speak the encouragement. There are times when a hug or pat on the back is all someone needs.

If I've had a hard day, Brenton always walks into the house, puts his stuff down, and gives me a hug. This helps lift my spirits, but, more than anything, it builds the trust between Brenton and me. Our relationship is strong, because we know that we can count on each other.

A card can be an encouragement to someone special. The card can express love, sympathy, friendship, or celebration. It is even more special when we create the card ourselves. If we are artistic, we can draw and create a poem that lifts someone else's spirit. Even if we aren't artistic, we can buy a pretty card with a special message on the inside.

Just listening to a friend is a great way to encourage. The active listening we talked about above is a great way to help encourage a friend. Comforting them and allowing them to talk about their feelings creates a special bond between us and our friends.

"It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.

The value of a man resides in what he gives and not what he is capable of receiving."

Albert Einstein

Investing in relationships is important to developing our relationships, but is even more important to invest in maintaining relationships. When we invest our time and effort into our important relationships they are stronger and healthier. Relationships that aren't healthy can cause stress and frustration in our lives. People need relationships, but the wrong kind of relationships can be destructive.

The most important investment in relationships is our time. If we don't spend time with the people we care about, we lose touch and drift apart. This can mean friends and relatives. Husbands and wives are more likely to get a divorce, because they stop investing time with each other. Parents experience distant relationships with their children, because they do not spend time getting to know them as they grow older.

Next, it is important to invest effort into a relationship. When we do things for others, we grow closer to those people. If someone needs help, then it is important to help them when we can. For example, if a friend calls and they have to take their youngest child to the hospital, we need to willingly take care of her oldest child.

Of course, there are those who take advantage of us, so we need to also learn to establish boundaries. It is vital that we become close to those who respect our boundaries, and we need to put a limit on those who do not respect our boundaries. We may need to say no to friends who are constantly calling us with emergencies. Some people are unable to take responsibility for themselves, so they want others to pick up their slack.

"But love your enemies and be kind and do good [doing favors so that someone derives benefit from them] and lend, expecting and hoping for nothing in return but considering nothing as lost and despairing of no one; and then your recompense (your reward) will be great (rich, strong, reward will be great (rich, strong, intense, and abundant), and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind and charitable and good to the ungrateful and the selfish and wicked.

So be merciful (sympathetic, tender, responsive, and compassionate) even as your Father is [all these].

Luke 6:35, 36

There are times where we have to deal with relationships that are with people we don't necessarily like. This is a situation that can be hard to deal with, but It is not impossible. It is important to find the good in everyone and treat them with respect. If we respect them, then they could turn into our friend. They may not be close friends, but anything is better than dealing with an enemy.

Our challenge this week is to build and maintain healthy relationships. If we use these relationship ingredients, we can become fulfilled in our relationships. We are relational people, so it is necessary for us to work on learning about relationships. Most of us aren't born understanding how to relate to others, but, as we grow and mature, we learn how relationships work.

"You are My friends if you keep on doing the things which I command you to do."

John 15:14