My Monday Map to Success

Giving God Our Nothing 2

This week I decided to repost a previous blog. The reason I want to repost instead of writing an original blog is because I need to spend time with my family. After the first week of school, I also needed alone time.

    This week spend time with your family. Even if you have to reheat left overs or forgo checking your email, you need to have time with your family and time alone. While you have time, read this blog about giving God your nothing.

"The Lord God says, "I am Alpha and Omega, the one who is and was and is coming. I am God All-Power!"

Revelations 1:8

This week I struggled with my emotions, and I had one anxiety attack after another. On Wednesday, the anxiety was so bad that it felt like someone was squeezing my heart and I felt pain shoot down my left arm. It was agonizing!

My husband, Brenton, finally said, "Enough is enough." He rescheduled an appointment with my counselor that I had cancelled. He even drove me to my appointment, so he made sure that I got the help I needed.

    What she and I discussed was about my problem with perfection. She talked to me about giving God my nothing. At that point, I understood what she meant, because I did not have anything to give but nothing. When I understood that all I had to do is take my nothing and hand it to God, I realized what a lighter load it was and became more relaxed almost instantly.

Friday, I went to work and faced problems, but I already gave my nothing to God. When the problems arose, I knew he already created the solutions. This made me relax and enjoy every minute of the day. Although there were problems, I ended up having a happy day.

    The next day I received a revelation about giving God my nothing. When God gets nothing, he turns it into something amazing. There are several instances in the Bible where God took seemingly useless items and turned them into something great.

    First, God took the earth that was a blob and created the heavens and the earth. Next, he took dirt and created man. Finally, he took one of man's ribs and created woman. We do not have any way of creating something from nothing, but we continually try on our own. God, on the other hand, can take our nothing and create something.

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ² The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

Genesis 1:1, 2

God looked at what he had done. All of it was very good! Evening came and then morning- that was the sixth day.

So the heavens and the earth and everything else were created.

Genesis 1:3-2:1

The Lord God took a handful of soil and made a man. God breathed life into the man, and the man started breathing.

Genesis 2:7

So the Lord God made him fall into a deep sleep, and he took out of one of the man's ribs. Then after closing the man's side, the Lord made a woman out of the rib.

Genesis 2:21, 22

Challenge of the Week: Every day, give your nothing to God. Trust that He will give you what you need, and that he will turn your nothing into something. If you wake up and feel frustrated and stressed, then you are trying to do it all on your own. When God takes your nothing, you don't have to become frustrated. Let God take your nothing and turn it into something amazing.

A Recommitment to Purpose

Commitment is an act, not a word.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/commitment.html#BljxdcXLVzVXVhYx.99

 

³¹ And the Lord said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. ³² But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren."

³³ But he said to Him, "Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death."

³⁴ Then He said, "I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know Me."

Luke 22:31-34

Read more at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+4&version=NKJV

Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster^] crowed. ⁶¹ And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." ⁶² So Peter went out and wept bitterly.

Luke 22:60, 62

Read more at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+4&version=NKJV

    Peter loved Jesus and followed Him through His ministry here on Earth. Although he spoke out of turn and had to be rebuked by Jesus, he was still devoted to the mission. When everything Jesus said came true and he denied him three times, he had to make a choice.

    The choice that Peter made was to recommit and fire himself up for Christ. When saw Jesus was risen again, he went to the upper room with those who were ready to continue Christ's ministry and spread the gospel. He became successful, because he recognized that his flame had dimmed and he refueled his passion and worked on fulfilling his life's purpose.

 

¹² Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is near Jerusalem, a Sabbath day's journey. ¹³ And when they had entered, they went up into the upper room where they were staying: Peter, James, John, and Andrew; Philip and Thomas; Bartholomew and Matthew; James the son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot; and Judas the son of James. ¹⁴ These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication,with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers.

Acts 1:12-14

Read more at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+4&version=NKJV

 

    When Peter came out of the upper room, he was ready for his own ministry. He took the lead and spoke to the people with authority and commitment. From that time on, he gave everything he had to the ministry and passionately spread the gospel. At the end of his life, Peter was hung on a cross upside down, which showed his true commitment to Christ. His last days on earth he truly proved that he would die for Christ. Go to Acts 2 to read Peter's sermon after his recommitment to Christ's ministry.

"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Read more at https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/purpose

 

    This last weekend, I realized how important it was to take time to rest and refuel the passion. Due to exhaustion, I got really sick, so I had to take some time off from my regular routine to get the rest I needed. As I rested and got well, I realized that I desperately needed to become more passionate about my purpose. The last two days I have become more determined, focused, and driven.

    Even though I have written out my purpose statement many times in the past, I recently revised it. Yesterday, I started writing it out on rectangular pieces of paper in colored ink. I put them up around the house, so that I could be reminded of my recommitment to my purpose.

    This recommitment is important to everyone's personal development. Every time we become tired and worn-out, we need to remind ourselves of why we work hard at pursuing our purpose.

    Whatever the purpose is, we should enjoy working and developing the skills we need to be successful. Once the passion fades, we need to find it again, quickly.

    The way I regain my passion is through inspirational blogs, books, personal development videos, and movies that have a meaningful message. At these times, asking God to show me or confirm His Will for my life through His Word is the most important step.

    In addition, I talk with people who I know will encourage and listen to me. Finally, I write in my journal to get my emotions and thoughts on paper. This allows me to read how I am feeling and get ideas on how to regain my passion for my purpose.

    There are so many ways that we can become more passionate. If you know someone who has the same kind of passion and purpose, watch and learn from them. It might even be beneficial to video tape them if they don't already have videos.

Teachers are video-taping their classes and sharing them online. Athletes also video tape themselves, so the Internet is full of videos of every kind of sport. If you are an ice skater, you can go to the rink and watch skaters practice for hours.

"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Read more at https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/purpose

    Focus On This

    Every time you start to feel tired and frustrated while pursuing your purpose, stop and refuel. Get inspiration from people, videos, movies, and books, but more than anything else, re-examine why you are passionate about what you are doing. Ask yourself what you can do to feel more energetic and alive while you work.

    Passion should be fun. If you are getting tired while you are working on your purpose, then it is time to stop and have an upper room moment with God. Spend some time alone with Him. Allow His Spirit to inspire and refuel your passion.

"If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for."
― Thomas Merton

Read more at https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/purpose

 

²³ and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, ²⁴ and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 4:23, 24

Read more at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+4&version=NKJV

 

Choosing Your Friends

Read the scriptures below. What is the common theme of all the scriptures?

Genesis 13

Abram Inherits Canaan

13 Then Abram went up from Egypt, he and his wife and all that he had, and Lot with him, to the South. ² Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver, and in gold. ³ And he went on his journey from the South as far as Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, ⁴ to the place of the altar which he had made there at first. And there Abram called on the name of the Lord.

⁵ Lot also, who went with Abram, had flocks and herds and tents. ⁶ Now the land was not able to support them that they might dwell together, for their possessions were so great that they could not dwell together. ⁷ And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram's livestock and the herdsmen of Lot's livestock. The Canaanites and the Perizzites then dwelt in the land.

⁸ So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, and between my herdsmen and your herdsmen; for we are brethren. ⁹ Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me. If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left."

¹⁰ And Lot lifted his eyes and saw all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere (before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah) like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt as you go toward Zoar. ¹¹ Then Lot chose for himself all the plain of Jordan, and Lot journeyed east. And they separated from each other. ¹² Abram dwelt in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelt in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent even as far as Sodom. ¹³ But the men of Sodom were exceedingly wicked and sinful against the Lord.

¹⁴ And the Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him: "Lift your eyes now and look from the place where you are—northward, southward, eastward, and westward; ¹⁵ for all the land which you see I give to you and your descendants forever. ¹⁶ And I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth; so that if a man could number the dust of the earth, then your descendants also could be numbered. ¹⁷ Arise, walk in the land through its length and its width, for I give it to you."

¹⁸ Then Abram moved his tent, and went and dwelt by the terebinth trees of Mamre,which are in Hebron, and built an altar there to the Lord.

Ruth 1:6-22

⁶ Then she arose with her daughters-in-law that she might return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the country of Moab that the Lord had visited His people by giving them bread. ⁷ Therefore she went out from the place where she was, and her two daughters-in-law with her; and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. ⁸ And Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, "Go, and return each to her mother's house. The Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. ⁹ The Lord grant that you may find rest, each in the house of her husband."

So she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. ¹⁰ And they said to her, "Surely we will return with you to your people."

¹¹ But Naomi said, "Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Are there still sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands? ¹² Turn back, my daughters, go—for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, if I should have a husband tonight and should also bear sons, ¹³ would you wait for them till they were grown? Would you restrain yourselves from having husbands? No, my daughters; for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me!"

¹⁴ Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.

¹⁵ And she said, "Look, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law." ¹⁶ But Ruth said:

"Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
¹⁷ Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me."

¹⁸ When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she stopped speaking to her.

¹⁹ Now the two of them went until they came to Bethlehem. And it happened, when they had come to Bethlehem, that all the city was excited because of them; and the women said, "Is this Naomi?"

²⁰ But she said to them, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. ²¹ I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?"

²² So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess her daughter-in-law with her, who returned from the country of Moab. Now they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest.

John 13:18-30

¹⁸ "I do not speak concerning all of you. I know whom I have chosen; but that the Scripture may be fulfilled, 'He who eats bread with Me has lifted up his heel against Me.' ¹⁹ Now I tell you before it comes, that when it does come to pass, you may believe that I am He. ²⁰ Most assuredly, I say to you, he who receives whomever I send receives Me; and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me."

²¹ When Jesus had said these things, He was troubled in spirit, and testified and said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, one of you will betray Me." ²² Then the disciples looked at one another, perplexed about whom He spoke.

²³ Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. ²⁴ Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask who it was of whom He spoke.

²⁵ Then, leaning back on Jesus' breast, he said to Him, "Lord, who is it?"

²⁶ Jesus answered, "It is he to whom I shall give a piece of bread when I have dipped it." And having dipped the bread, He gave it to Judas Iscariot, the son of Simon. ²⁷ Now after the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus said to him, "What you do, do quickly." ²⁸ But no one at the table knew for what reason He said this to him. ²⁹ For some thought, because Judas had the money box, that Jesus had said to him, "Buy those things we need for the feast," or that he should give something to the poor.

³⁰ Having received the piece of bread, he then went out immediately. And it was night.

    Well, have you guessed the common thread? Do you understand what each of these verses are saying? Each one is an example of a person having to separate ways from someone who will not help them become successful.

    In the first scripture, Abraham and Lot separated ways. Each of them took their families and possessions and lived in different parts of the land. When they first parted ways, they were both wealthy and had an abundance of possessions.

    Of course, a little later in Genesis, we find out that Lot had to be rescued and gets out of Sodom and Gomorrah with only his daughters and the clothes on his back. Abraham, on the other hand, continues to grow in wealth and succeed in life.

    Naomi told her daughter-n-laws to go home to their families. Eventually, she convinced Orpah to go home. Nothing is said about Orpah after she leaves her mother-n-law. Ruth, on the other hand, refused to leave Naomi.

    The Bible never says that Orpah was bad. Ruth was the key to Naomi's success, though. Orpah was eventually convinced to go home unlike Ruth who refused to be persuaded from her destiny. Naomi needed the daughter-n-law that was persistent, and the one who would not be dissuaded from her purpose.

    Now, let's look at Jesus and his selection of disciples. He picked twelve to teach His message, but only eleven actually went on from the original twelve to teach Jesus' message. In the last scripture above, Jesus actually told Judas to go and do what he needed to do. He was telling him to leave them. Jesus was separating himself from Judas, because he knew that Judas would betray Him.

    Each of the other disciples went on to reach the world for Christ. Judas was the one who would trade Jesus for silver. He was a hindrance and not a help.

    In my life, I have made decisions to spend time with people who were negative. The truth is that I was a negative young person, so that is who I attracted. When I was 20 years old, I decided to change. I started to think more positively about myself, others, and the purpose that God had put within me. That year, God brought Brenton into my life. He saw beauty and intelligence. The moment he met me he began to speak positive words into my life.

    Until Brenton came along, I had never heard anyone say that I could go to college and get a degree. I was overwhelmed by his persistence. Finally, I agreed to go to college and, now, I have a bachelors and I am in the process of getting my masters. This taught me a valuable lesson on who to spend time with. It also taught me to watch who my kids hang out with.

    Spending time with positive and successful people is the key to success. Most of the time, when I see a successful person, I also notice that they spend their time with positive and successful people. If we dread seeing someone due to their constant whining, that may be our cue that we shouldn't hang out with them. Even if they are family, we should be careful about the time we spend listening to their negative conversations.

This Weeks Challenge: Make a list of people you hang out with. Now, go through and cross off all the people who are negative and constantly complain. Next, put a star next to the person who is a positive influence and motivates you to be your best. Finally, spend more time with the people that have stars next to their name, and stop or limit the time you spend with the people you crossed out. When you spend time with positive, motivating people, you will notice that you have become a positive, motivating person, too.

Making Every Moment Count

Tara sauntered into the bank as she talked on her cell phone. She was chatting with her friend Lucy who just got back from a trip to Paris. Her friend talked on and on about all the places and people she had seen. It was a trip that her dad took her on for her 18^th birthday.

    When Tara walked in there was a long line for the teller. She was annoyed and got into line with an attitude. As she stood in line, she looked around at the different people that stood restlessly in line. Everyone was in a bad mood, couldn't wait to get through the line, and get on with their day.

    Suddenly a shot rang out and everyone in the bank jumped. A man's voice rang out in the bank saying, "Get down!"

    Tara and the rest of the bank customers obeyed and got down on the floor. The bank robbers went to the tellers and demanded all the money. The tellers cooperated and placed the money into the big black trash bags the robbers shoved into their faces.

    Next to Tara was a young girl about 12 or 13. She was shaking and whimpering uncontrollably. On the other side of Tara was an older woman who looked about 80. She was turned toward Tara and tears rolled down her face.

    The young girl who laid next to her grabbed Tara's hand and whispered, "I don't want to die."

    Tara looked at the girl with fear in her eyes. She hadn't even thought about dying. Could this turn deadly? There are so many things that she wanted to do like finishing college or just declaring a major.

    The girl closed her eyes and began to whimper. Tara quietly told the girl, "Shhhh. We need to stay quiet." She squeezed the girls hand firmly and said, "It's going to be okay."

    Tara didn't know if the girl believed her, but she opened her eyes and looked at Tara. She was even able to nod at Tara and give her a little smile.

    As Tara laid on the floor and held the young girls hand, she thought about her mom, Jen, and her dad, Ed. They didn't always get along, but she wanted to spend more time with them. Lately, she was so obsessed with her friends and parties that she didn't spend enough time with them.

    Her parents were two extremely successful people. Her mom was a pediatrician and had her own practice. She worked hard as a pediatrician, but she always encouraged and spent time with Tara when she was growing away.

    Tara's dad was also successful. He was an architect that built the most expensive buildings in the city. His father recently went back to school to get a doctorate. He, along with her mother, nagged Tara about school and getting a good education. They wanted her to take her life seriously and make something of herself.

    Instead of listening to her parents, Tara goofed off with friends shopping and going to parties. She lived the good life with the money her parents worked hard to make. The truth was that she didn't deserve the good life and took advantage of her parents. Now, she didn't know if she would ever get a chance to tell them how much she appreciated them and all they did for her or tell them how much she loved them.

    One of the bank robbers interrupted her thoughts. He yelled out to the customers, "Count to one hundred and then get up!" With that the bank robbers left. Tara looked up and saw three figures running out of the bank. She could only hear her heart pounding inside of her chest.

    A man in a tacky Hawaiian shirt got up slowly off the floor and said in a shaky voice, "I think they are gone."

    Everyone started to get up slowly. Tara got up and turned to help the young girl up. She then turned to the older lady and helped her get up. The older lady's legs were trembling, but she was able to get up off the floor. Tara led her to a chair where she could sit down while she telephoned her daughter to come pick her up. She didn't want to go home alone.

    Tara watched as police men streamed into the bank with guns. The security officer put his hands up and explained to the officers that the robbers were gone. They put their guns away and started to investigate the robbery. After a while the police led all the bank customers out of the bank.

    Once Tara was out of the bank, she called her mom and found out that both her mom and dad were at work. She called a cab and went straight to her parent's home. Although they weren't there, she wanted be there when they came home.

Tara did what most of us do. She didn't make the most of her life. When she had a chance to advance her career, develop stronger ties with her family and friends, or give back to the community, she did something fun or for herself, instead. Although it is okay to have fun, it is important that we discover the purpose for our life through personal development and education.

    Tara has struggled with feelings of uselessness. People have warned Tara about wasting her life, and they encouraged her to make something great of herself. As she laid on the floor during the bank robbery, she got it. All of a sudden she understood what she needed to do. She didn't want to die without accomplishing something important, and that didn't include going from one party to the next.

    After her parents got home from work, Tara told them about her experience at the bank. They were happy to know that she was alright, but there was something that had changed about their daughter. She was talking about declaring a major, and she wanted to volunteer at the community center. At the community center, she wanted to tutor the students in the after school program.

    Of course, we do not have to wait until a bank robbery to learn this same lesson. Making our life count means that we find out what our purpose is and create goals that will help us create our dream life. Sometimes, we need to make small changes that move us toward our purpose, or sometimes we need to make bigger changes. If you can't quite your job, you can still work on moving toward a new career by researching the new career or taking college or community classes that will expose you to that career. In Tara's case, she simply needed to declare her major and start working on her career. Little changes in our lives can add up to big changes in the end.

This Week's Challenge: Let every moment of your life count. If you are not doing what you want to do and feel miserable, then start to do the one thing that makes you happy. For example, if you are working retail and you don't life your job, then figure out what would make you happy and fulfilled. It could be that you want to go into advertising. Start researching what you need to do to go into advertising. Next, take classes that would help you to get into the advertisement. When you are doing what makes you happy, you are more likely to have increased confidence and better relationships with friends and families.

Struggles

We are like clay jars in which this treasure is stored. The real powers comes for God and not from us. We often suffer, but we are never crushed. Even when we don't know what to do, we never give up. In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again.

II Corinthians 4:7-9

    There was a time in my life where I would do anything to avoid suffering of any kind. This is a natural response to suffering. One day I read a scripture that told me I need to go through suffering to grow and mature in Christ. Wow, I was a little put off by this information. Fortunately, God showed me through His Word the importance of suffering, and He assured me that He would be with me through everything I went through.

But that's not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love.

Romans 5:3-5

    When we go through tough times, we learn how to endure. After we have endured, we are able to build character. This hope will never disappoint us and lead us to a stronger, closer relationship with God. Every time I go through a tough situation and get through it, I gain knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. This is helpful when someone comes along and says they are going through a similar situation. In these instances, I can share what I have been through.

With all your heart

You must trust the Lord

And not your own judgment.

Always let Him lead you,

And He will clear the road

For you to follow.

Don't ever think that you

Are wise enough,

But respect the Lord

And stay away from evil.

This will make you healthy,

And you will feel strong.

 

Proverbs 3:5-8

 

    There are times where I do not understand God's ways, but I now they are higher than mine. He has a plan for all of us. First, we need to trust God with that plan. Second, we have to give God all our problems, and we need to trust that God will see us through the problems. He will never leave us in our problems, but we need to go through the problems to get to the destination God has planned for us.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 

Psalm 37:4

 

    This last year I have struggled quite a bit, but I know that God is taking me to new places. He is faithful and I am learning to completely lean on God and know that He will get me through every struggle. Once I have gone through the struggle, I will be better off. In the struggle, I am learning to delight myself in the Lord. As I delight myself in Him, I have realized that my desire is to draw closer to God and for Him to do His Will in my life.

This Weeks Challenge

    Don't run from struggles. Go through the struggle with God, and He will get you to the destination He has prepared for you. Delight yourself in Him as He gets you through the struggle. The journey will not take as long if you delight yourself in Him. Allow Him to carry you through the rough part of the journey. Delight in Him by daily devotions and building an intimate relationship with Him.

Start Today

The past few weeks have been hard for our family. One of our family members has been in the hospital for two weeks. Though it has been hard, it has giving us time to reflect on our life. Last week on the way to see Ellen in the hospital, I say a train approaching the garage and decided to film it with my phone. I have always enjoyed taking videos of interesting subjects and sharing them with my children. I could not wait to get home and show my son the train video I took. But as the waiting continued, I thought about one of my desires that I had been putting off for years. I have always wanted to post my videos on YouTube to share with others. This was something that I wanted, but I had not acted on it.

"It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project."
Napoleon Hill

 

I started by questioning my reasons for not starting this project. My first reason was it would take a long time to create an account, so I decided to see just how long it would take. Much to my surprise, it only took a few minutes. I had let this unrealistic reason keep me from achieve my goal. Next I wondered how long it would take to upload a video, but once again I was shocked at how easy it was to complete the task. Within less than an hour, I had set up a YouTube channel and posted my first video. Today, my channel has been up for over two weeks and I have posted over 20 videos. Today I wonder why I waited so long to start this project.

Sometimes, we have dreams that we put off for lots of different reasons. We let circumstances and unrealistic reasoning stand in the way of completing our dreams. We look at the obstacles in our way and allow them to keep us from achieving our dreams. We need to keep our eyes on our dreams, and overcome the obstacles.

This Week's Challenge:

Take a long look at your dreams and figure out the reasons that you have not completed them. Review your reasons and determine if they are realistic. Next, determine the steps you need to take to overcome the obstacle. Start today to take the first step toward completing your dream.

We have encountered many individuals that have told us that when the circumstances are right they will pursue their dreams. They tell us they have good reasons why they have not completed a dream. They are waiting for the perfect time to act, but we have found out that the perfect time never comes.

"The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now."
Anonymous

 

Today is the perfect time to start pursuing your dreams, take the first step today and you will begin a journey that you will not regret.

"When eating an elephant take one bite at a time."

Creighton Abrams

If you want to check out my YouTube Channel click on the link below. Our channel is titled Videos for My Sons. On this channel we posted videos that our young sons would like. We hope you enjoy.

Visit the YouTube Channel http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCooMyFrJ6EadmAwDUwsXbAA

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Take Nothing for Granted

Failures of Imbalance

"It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."

Epictetus

Moving toward success and reaching our goals is important to everyone. We all have a desire to fulfill our purpose in life. This can be done through balance and persistence. Working on our goals daily is vital to life success. Of course, there are some barriers to balance and success in life.

    Last week, we discussed balance. This week, I want to explain that one of the most important aspects of pursuing balance is how we react to failure. How we react to others' failures is also important to our success in any area of our life.

    First, let's talk about how we react to our failures of imbalance. When most of us fail, we struggle with our confidence. Some of us even go through depression that causes us to sink even further, and we wallow in our failure and self-pity. It becomes even more difficult to move forward.

    To counteract these pessimistic thoughts and actions, we need to accept our failures. Every time we fail, we are one step closer to success no one fails forever. Eventually, if we continue to try, we will reach our goals. The more we try, the bigger the success.

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."

Charles Swindoll

    Many times, if we accept our failures, we are more likely to stay calm and find a solution to the problem. When we get upset and quit, we never find the solution and we never succeed. After a while, we become haunted by the failure that was left unsolved.

    Next, we need to check how we respond to other people and their failures. A lot of times, we are highly critical and rude about how another people is living their life. This can cause us to be more paranoid about trying new things, because we don't other people to criticize us like we criticize them.

    This is true for how we respond to our enemies, too. There is one piece of advice that I give to my fourteen year old daughter, Snow that makes her look at me with disgust. I tell her to take a person that is annoying her or bullying her and find one good them about them. When we look for good, the person usually gets less annoying. In addition, I tell Snow to seek to understand them. Many times, the person is going through a rough time and is reacting to the problem in their life and not Snow.

"Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies- or else? The chain reaction of evil- hate, wars, producing more wars- must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Challenge for the Week

    This week, we need to watch how we react to our imbalance and failure. When we stop and look at our failure without reacting, we can see where we went wrong or what can be fixed. In addition, we need to look at other people and their failures in the same way. We need to show forgiveness to ourselves and then to others. This kind of action is important to moving forward and reaching our life goals.

    Before we close for the week, I want to tell you something I do to help take action instead of reacting to everything I go through. First, I understand that I have a God who loves me and will not fail me. Second, I talk with people who are willing to listen to my problems. Third, I read books that encourage me and motivate me; especially, personal development books. Fourth, I write my problems in a journal, and then I read them to get a fresh perspective on my situation. It is almost as if I am reading about someone else's problems.

"Have the courage to act instead of react."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."

Epictetus

A Balanced Life

"You will never feel truly satisfied by work until you are satisfied by life."

Heather Schuck

The Working Mom Manifesto

 

For the last few months, I have not post very many blogs. There is a reason for the lack of writing and posting. To help others understand my reasoning, I want to tell a story. As those of you who know me can testify to, I love to make a point with a story.

    When I was a little girl, I would work out by playing in my yard or at the park. In addition, I absolutely loved to ride my bike. It was fun to break a sweat, and I was active and didn't need to worry about my diet too much. Actually, my favorite foods were sweets.

    Due to abuse by my father, my mom and I had to move out of our home. Once I moved from the house with the yard and the park across the street, I began to struggle with inactivity and emotional eating. Even when I was not hungry, I would eat, which caused me to gain weight. Through the years, I have gained weight, went on a diet, and lost weight numerous times.

    This fluctuation in weight proves that I really never learned a healthy lifestyle and balance. Instead, I merely learned how to diet. Believe me; dieting is not the same as living a healthy lifestyle. A healthy lifestyle deals with every area of life. It includes spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical. If any of these areas are out of balance, it can negatively affect the success of other areas. Due to my unresolved emotional problems, I struggled with my weight and my grades in school plummeted and I struggled to trust anyone. The mistrust that I experienced affected my spiritual life, too.

    After my mom died, I struggled with my weight, again. Now, I know it is time to tackle my weight problem by also getting my spiritual, emotional, and mental areas balanced along with my physical area.

    Why now? In the last few months, I have struggled with my health. Almost every day was a struggle to get out of bed. I struggle to put one foot in front of the other. Finally, I said enough is enough. This year I need to get my life balanced and start my healthy lifestyle. I'm balancing my spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical areas in my life.

    First, I will start with the spiritual area. Next, I will deal with my emotional area, and then my mental area. Finally, I will focus on the physical area of my life. What I have figured out as I work on each area is that they will also merge together. This means that there will be times when I must work on two areas at a time. For instance, there are a lot of emotions that are tied into the spiritual area. Dealing with the emotions about faith and trust in God will help me to build a spiritual foundation for my life. There are also a lot of emotions tied to my physical health.

    This week's challenge is to make a list of issues that we are going through and decide which area they belong to, so that we can decide which area we need to work on. Diligently working on each area of our lives will help us become balanced. A balanced life brings productivity and success. It is vital to happiness and longevity. During this process, we may feel overwhelmed and frustrated with our problems. During these times, we need to remember that we are not alone. We are all going through this process together.

"Man maintains his balance, poise, and sense of security only as he is moving forward."

Maxwell Maltz

Freedom Blog

This week Brenton and I were discussing the blog we wanted to post. We were planning and about to do the research when Brenton said let's do something different. He felt led to post a freedom blog, based on the 4^th of July holiday.

    Today, we celebrate freedom in this great country, but we also give honor to those who fought and died for that freedom. The best way to give honor to our fallen heroes is by receiving our freedom and not taking it for granted. We need to understand what our freedom means and how we can use our freedom to live successful lives and help those around us live successful lives, also.

    As Christians, we also need to honor Christ for the spiritual freedom that we have received. Christ died so that we could live victorious lives. The way we can honor Christ is through accepting and receiving this spiritual freedom.    

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to prisoners…"

Isaiah 61:1

    In His first recorded message, Jesus reads Isaiah 61:1 (Luke 4:16) and proclaims that He has come to this world to set the captives free. Many of us live as captives even after we receive Christ as our savior, but it does not have to be that way.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty…"

II Corinthians 3:17

    When Jesus died, He sent the Comforter who dwells with us and in us. The Spirit gives us the ability to live a life free from anything that would hold us captive. It is up to us to allow the Spirit to help us and set us free. Today, we need to take the opportunity to be freed by the Spirit.

"For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."

Galatians 5:13

    Jesus came so that we could be free and remain free from those things that would keep us from living a life of freedom. Jesus said that in this life we would have trouble, but not to worry because He had overcome the world (John 16:33).

"…for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved."

II Peter 2:19

    We need to remember that if anything is overcoming us, we are enslaved. None of us want to be slaves, yet we allow the troubles of life to drag us down. God has an awesome plan for each of us, but we need to allow God to work His plan. Sometimes, we get too busy working out our own life, but God's ready to take each of our lives and create something absolutely amazing.

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."

Galatians 5:1

    Today, we are proclaiming freedom. We are asking all our readers to look at their lives and check for any areas that are in captivity. Our challenge for this week is to allow God to begin the work of freedom in each of our lives. God wants us to be free, but He is a patient God and waits for us to seek our freedom in Him.

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free."

John 8:32

"So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed."

John 8:26

    Now, we need to see where our freedom truly comes from. Our freedom comes from the truth that was given to us through Christ. The truth is that Christ has paid for our sins and our struggles, and we are no longer bound to them. If there is an area where we struggle, we can give Christ our problem and He will help us. Sometimes, he helps us by showing us that we need to change, and, other times, He will change a situation that is out of our control. There are some circumstances that God uses to teach us and mature us for the plans He has for us. God uses all circumstances in our life for our success. We need to understand that true freedom can only be reach through Jesus Christ.

Happy Independence Day!!!

 

The Romance Blog

"Draw me! We will run after you! The king brings me into his apartments! We will be glad and rejoice in you! We will be glad and rejoice in you! We will recall [when we were favored with your love, more fragrant than wine. The upright [are not offended at your choice, but sincerely] love you."

Song of Solomon 1:4

    In the last few months, I have struggled with feelings of emptiness. A few days ago, I began to question why I am feeling so lonely and empty. As a woman with three kids, a great husband, and a God on my side, why am I feeling so forgotten?

    Last night, I heard Misty Edwards talking about Song of Solomon, and I started thinking about romance. Sure, I have a wonderful husband who gives me plenty of romance here on earth, but I need something more. It is not satisfying my spirit.

    As I read Song of Solomon today, I realized that there is a spiritual romance I am missing. For some reason, I go strong for awhile, but, when times get tough, I get weary and give up. Instead, I need to start running to God when times are tough and I feel alone. This emptiness can be defeated by a fresh filling of the Holy Spirit.

    There is a great scripture that I am going to start meditating on. This great scripture made me realize that only God's love can fill that emptiness. If I am struggling with this emptiness, I know that my eyes have moved away from God, so I need to move my focus back on God.

"[That you may really come] to know [practically, through experience for yourselves] the love of Christ, which far surpasses mere knowledge [without experience]; that you may be filled [through all your being] unto all the fullness of God [may have the richest measure of the divine Presence, and become a body wholly filled and flooded with God Himself]!

Ephesians 3:19

    Wow, God wants to romance us and fill us with His fullness. God is ready and willing to flood us with His goodness, but we have to allow Him to romance us. When I was dating my husband, Brenton, I always wanted to look and act my best. Even after 15 ½ years of marriage, I want him to find me beautiful. Every time he comes home, I kiss him and tell him how much I missed him. We call each other several times a day to keep connected. We are always on the lookout for special songs that we can dedicate to each other, and, when we hear these songs played on the radio, we look at each other passionately

    What about God? Do we put on our best, or dress for Him? Are there times when we stop and talk with Him? Is there a special song just between you and Him that makes you stop and think passionately about Him? Do you do everything for Him? Do you give Him your best, or do you only give Him the scraps that are left over at the end of the day?

    These are questions that I had to stop and honestly ask myself. Unfortunately, I really didn't like the answers. If I am willing to romance my imperfect husband here on Earth [no offense to Brenton, He is the greatest man I know here on Earth], but how much more should I romance the perfect God who loves me and set me free.

Weekly Challenge:

Right now, I encourage you stop and take inventory of your life. If you feel empty or alone, you need to stop and pray that God will make you full, again. He will turn mourning in to dancing, and depression into joy. If you allow God to come into the pain and sorrow, He will give you a reason to live again.

In the world today, we hear of tragedy over and over again. It is only when I get with my God that I feel the peace I need to live. My challenge this week is to make a pact to romance God. This means to not only love Him, but give Him your best. In everything you do, do it for Him. Not only will your life change for the better, you will begin to make an impact on the people around you.

"Your eyes will see the King in His beauty; [your eyes] will behold a land of wide distances that stretches afar."

Isaiah 33:17

Living Your Dreams

Where have all the dreams gone? When you ask a child what they are planning to do when they grow up, they will tell you about their great dreams. They can be whatever they want to be, the sky is the limit. Children see the future with great optimism. What happens to this optimism as we grow? Where do all these childhood dreams go?

 

"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly."
― Langston Hughes

 

As we grow older, what happens to our dreams? We all start out with great dreams when we are in elementary school. We go through Junior High School and some people's dreams die. Then in High School, more dreams disappear. When we graduate from High School, more people lose their dreams. Little by little as people get older, they give up their dreams, and just try to make it from day to day. We just lose our feeling that we can achieve our dreams. Why does this happen?

 

"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

 

As we travel through our lives, we see many people around us that are unhappy. They are mad at others and themselves. We see their overreaction to other's happiness. Why they are so upset? I believe that they are irritated at themselves for not following their dreams. Giving up your dreams will cause you to lose hope. Without hope, you become angry, and you take it out on yourself and others.

 

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

-Walt Disney

 

If you are following your dreams, congratulations, you are among the few! It is awesome to meet people who are happy and content with their life. If you are not living your dreams, there is still hope for you. You can still live your dreams but you will have to make some changes in your life.

 

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.

 

There are several steps that you need to take to live your dreams. You need to determine your dreams, you need to develop your dreams, you need to love your dream, and finally you need to live your dream. If you follow the steps we discuss in this blog, than you will increase your ability to reach your dream.

You first need to figure out what your dream is. It is very important that you revisit your youthful memories and see what dreams you had as a small child. These dreams should give you a glimpse into your purpose in life. What makes you come alive, what make you happy? These are all clues into what your dreams.

 

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
― Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Once you have determined what your dream is, it is time to develop that dream. You need to determine what is standing between you and the dream. Is there something that you need to learn? Are there connects that you need to make? Is there a move that you need to make? You need to now eliminate every obstacle you can that is standing between you and you dream.

Loving your dream come next in this process. Are you committed to the process? You now have to determine how far are you willing to go to accomplish your dream. What resources are you willing to comment to the process? You must be willing to comment to the process that it will take to accomplish your dream. If reaching your dreams where easy than most people would achieve their dreams.

 

 

"Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true."
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Now you are ready to live your dream. Are you ready to live in the moment? Once you are doing what you love, you must love what you do. You must live in the moment and enjoy what you are doing. You should never take this for granted.

    

This week's challenge:

This week, we all need to determine if we are living our dreams. If you are no living our dreams then we need to determine your dreams, you need to develop your dreams, you need to love your dream, and you need to live your dream. If you follow the steps we discuss in this blog, than you will increase your ability to reach your dream. This week, we need to determine if we are willing to take these steps to follow our dreams.

Trust Blog

"Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks."
Isaac Watts

    Well, I have taken a couple months off from my writing, but I am back and ready to start writing on a weekly basis. My husband, Brenton, has volunteered to help me write each week. This will help me with my goal of writing each week, even though my schedule has increased. The following is a little synopsis of what has happened to me in the last few months.

    Almost three weeks ago, my mother-n-law, Karen Belknap, won an $8,000.00 fellowship to the University of Southern California. Brenton received his masters from USC, and my sister-n-law, Teadran White, and I went to USC for some of our undergraduate classes. This is a university that brings special memories for all three of us. In our family, I am the only one that needs their master degree. It is a master's degree in teaching secondary English.

    It was an amazing turn of events for me, because I really wanted to teach and needed the opportunity to get a master's degree. Karen called USC and transferred the fellowship to me. After filling out all the documents for applying to USC, I received an acceptance email. It was an amazing feeling, and I knew at that point that this was the path God put me on. Every time there was a roadblock, I would have to trust God and let Him take care of the problem. All the roadblocks were removed and I am now starting my classes on March 12^th.

    The next experience that changed me was studying and taking my TExES test for teacher certification. A few years ago, I took the same test, but had very different results. This was a very challenging time in my life. It was a year after my mom had passed away, and I was nine months pregnant with my youngest son, Andy. At this time, I was in no mental shape to take a test. Of course, I failed the test and became extremely frustrated.

    A week ago I took the TExES and passed. This means I can now get a probationary certification and start teaching. Although this will mean extra work for me, I am excited, because I know this is what I have always wanted to do.

    When we trust God to do His will in our lives, we will see amazing victories in every area of our life. This means our personal life, family life, work life, and social life will be complete and more fulfilling. Every day will be exciting, and we won't be able to wait to start each new day.

    For me, this was far from the truth several years ago. Before I started working on personal develop, I hated going to bed and could not get up in the morning. When I had to complete something at the house, for my children, or for school, I would dread waking up or having to do any work. My life was unfulfilling, and I felt very depressed.

    This doesn't mean I didn't enjoy my family or other aspects of my life, but I was not totally fulfilled. The fulfillment has come from working on what I love, which is teaching. When I say I enjoy teaching, I mean I enjoy teaching elementary students, middle school students, high school students, and adults.

    Some of you may be asking why I am writing about all the stuff that I am going through, right now. Well, it is an important lesson that I have learned. Victory has come into my life, because I have trusted God to fill my life with whatever I need to succeed. When I was waiting for my acceptance letter from USC or my TExES exam scores, I needed to trust God to do two things.

    First, I needed God to help me stay calm as I waited. Second, I needed God to get me into the right teaching program and pass the right tests. This was not always easy, because there were times that I got impatient. Every time impatience came upon me, I would stop and say God help me be calm and trust that you have everything under control. The great news is that I received the results that I was waiting for and learned several lessons in the mean time.

Challenge

    Now it is your turn to learn some lifelong lessons. Your challenge for this week is to write down one challenge you are facing in your life right now. Underneath the challenge, write down all the obstacles that you are facing. After you write down the challenges, pray that God will take control of your life and do His will. Tell God that you will trust Him and know that He has great things planned for your life. Finally, trust God to get you through each difficulty and roadblock, and He will do amazing things in your life.

    As you do this process with each challenge and obstacles, you will find it easier and easier. Some people find it easy to trust, so it won't be as hard for them. On the other hand, the rest of us may have trust issues that we need to work through. Eventually, if we work on trust through challenges, we will find it easier and easier to give our problems to God and trust Him for all our needs.

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

Psalm 18:2

 

A New Year, A New You

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.

Benjamin Franklin

The end of this year, 2013, should find you a better person. You should end the year better than you started, but the only way you can be a better person at the end of this year is to make a positive change now. When we think about New Year's resolutions, we normally thank about starting to practice positive new skills. We may talk about working out, taking more vitamins, or getting more sleep. We all try each year to make positive changes in our lives.

To this day, I have never heard a person that says," I plan to add negative new skills to my life this year. I think that I will try to get less sleep each night". We may also think about changing bad habits. We may talk about eating better so we can lose weight. We may talk about quitting smoking. We may also talk about treating others better. All of these resolutions are good, but most of the time they cover physical issues. God does not mind us making positive changes in our physical life. In fact the bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

We need to honor God with our bodies. It is important that we take care of them, but this year we need to make better, more spiritual resolutions. We need to make changes that have eternal consequences. You need to be a better you at the end of this year. God is calling us to make New You resolutions.

Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

2 Corinthians 7:1

God is calling us to purify ourselves by removing the things that contaminate our body and our spirit. We need to take a good look at our lives and figure out where we are in our spiritual journey. At the beginning of this year, we need to take an inventory of the issues that are holding us back from being the person that God wants us to be.  We need to make a New You resolution to stop looking at our circumstances, looking at the issues of others, trying to fix other people’s issues, and being keepers and teachers of the law.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Philippians 4:11

It is true that looking at our circumstances holds us back from all that God has for us. We tend to look at the negative circumstance around us and let them dictate how we feel about our life. Have you ever started a day when a problem happens first thing in the morning? When this happens, we normal announce that the rest of the day is going to be bad. Then we proceed to have a bad day. When we look at our circumstances, we take our eyes off the real changes that need to be made in our life. We need to be content with our circumstances.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Luke 6:41

We also tend to look at the issues of others, and this distracts us from become the person we were meant to be. When we have our eyes on others, we have no time for our own resolutions. When we compare our strengths to the weaknesses of other, we have a false sense of superiority. When we compare our weaknesses to the strengths of other, we have a false sense of inferiority. There is no good way to compare ourselves to others and become successful. Each person is unique and has unique issues and gifting. It is a waste of our time to look at other's issues. We need to spend our time working on our own issues.

Another distracting problem we tend to have is trying to fix other people's problems. When we look at our friend's or enemy's lives, we tend to try to fix their issues. I believe that we do this because it is easier to give advice to others. We give them advice and that is all we have to do. We do not have to do anything else; we just watch the issue and make comments. God is calling us to make resolutions that cause positive changes in our life. We need to strive toward the high calling that is in Christ Jesus. We need to work on resolving our own problems.

For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!

Galatians 2:19-21

We could talk for hours about the does and don't of Christianity. I could come up with a long list of things that you should do. I could even come up with a longer list of sins. We could follow the letter of the law as they did in the Old Testament, but it would not make us a better person inside. If we become keepers and teachers of the law, we make the Christ's death less important. We would be following the letter of the law but not the intent of it.

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

 

Matthew 23:25-26

The law was created for man, but I would like to suggest a better guidance system. It says in Romans 8:12-14: "Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God."

We are called to live by the spirit. People in the world live by the flesh. They do whatever they think is right. They use their own logic to justify their action. We have all lived according to the flesh at some time in our life. We have all sinned and fallen short of the kingdom of heaven. We must live by the spirit which requires us to be lead by the spirit. Being lead by the spirit involves two main areas. The spirit can tell you what you should do in your everyday life. The spirit will also let you know when something is wrong in your life.

You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

Romans 8:9-11

So to live by the spirit we must have the spirit living in us. If the spirit is living in us the spirit will lead us in our everyday life. The spirit will help us to purify our lives of all the things that contaminate our spiritual walk.

So today if you want to make New You resolutions, let me make a few suggestions. First, We need to make a New You resolution to stop looking at our circumstances, looking at the issues of others, trying to fix other people's issues, and being keepers and teachers of the law. Second, if you do not have the spirit living in you, make the New You resolution to accept Jesus in to your heart today. Third, make the New You resolution to be lead by the spirit. If you make these New You resolutions, I promise that at the end of this year you will be a better you. These resolutions will cover every area of your life. So join me today in making these New You resolutions, and see how much better you will be by the end of the year!

The Challenge Blog Fall

This is the last blog post for 2012, and the fourth challenge blog of this series. Due to this fact, we will review the final challenges that were given this year. As we enter 2013, take some time to review your progress on all the challenges. The only way to know where you are going is to know where you are. We would like to wish you a Happy New Years and congratulations on your progress.

Self-Control

This week we need to persistently work on developing self-control. This can be accomplished through praying the Word of God. When we do, we will feel a connection with God that will develop the self-control we need in our lives. This self-control also comes through thoroughly examining our lives and getting rid of any areas that are out of control.

Here are a few questions that we need to ask ourselves:

1. Do I get angry every time I don't get my own way?
2. When I do get angry, do I instantly react to what made me angry?
3. Do I have any control issues with substances or things that are not good for me?
4. Am I constantly getting in trouble with others for my attitude at work or home?
5. Am I able to make decisions calmly, or are my decisions knee-jerk reactions?

If we said yes to any of these questions, we need to work on self-control. This isn't something that we should be ashamed of, but, instead, understand that we are a work in progress. As we work on self-control, we will see a difference in our level of joy and in the ability to get closer to others. The walls that are put up by self-destruction will begin to crumble and we will be able to live life to the fullest.

The People Blog

"Clothe yourselves therefore as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-behaved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long suffering, and has power to endure whatever comes with good temper].

 

Be gentle and forbearing with one another, and if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].

 

And above all those [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness (which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]."

 

Colossians 3:12-14

 

 

Our challenge this week is to find the right people for our lives. Not everyone will be our best friends. We need a few extremely close friends that will supply support for our purpose. Usually these people will have similar purposes and be on a similar road to success. Even some people that we like and have a great personality may not be in our inner-circle of friends, because they are on a different path. There are people in my life that are merely casual friends or acquaintances.

In Colossians 3:12-14, Paul tells us how friendship is supposed to work. In my opinion, it really tells it all. We need to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, first. Once we have Christ in our lives, we need to gently care for one another and work out our differences by forgiving one another. This causes a bond with each other that will help us grow individually and together. Our heavenly Daddy, wants us to love one another and live in harmony.

What does this all mean? We need to find the right friends for support, and we need to build our friendship skills to support them back. This type of friendship is a must for anyone to truly succeed. Most successes are not achieved with just one person. Companies can't gain success with just the CEO coming into work every day. It takes a team of people to get everything done and done correctly. When we are burned out or discouraged, we need our team member there to help us, of course, but we also need them encouraging and supporting us throughout our life so we don't get discouraged or burned out.

"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a progress; working together is success."

 

Henry Ford

 

Discouragement Blog

This week we need to study and understand discouragement. Discouragement is a part of life, but it is only an emotion that will come and go. Successful people get discouraged, but they never allow discouragement to stop them from dreaming and growing. As long as we are getting better at handling discouragement and seeking ways to get back on track, we are on our way to great success.

God has given us strength to pursue success in our lives. He wants us to succeed, because we are His examples and witnesses to the world. If we succeed and give Him the glory, others will be more willing to listen to our testimonies and we can introduce them to Christ. We need to let God empower us and infuse inner strength into us. It will be beneficial to our lives and others around us.

Other Discouragement Scriptures

"But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

 

Psalm 3:3

 

"You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,

To the end that my tongue and my heart and everything glorious within me may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

 

Psalm 30:11, 12

 

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I cam that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."

 

John 10:10

 

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you]."

 

John 16:33

 

"We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose."

 

Romans 8:28

 

"We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;"

 

II Corinthians 4:8

 

"Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day."

 

II Corinthians 4:16, 17

Leaving Perfectionism in the Dust

This week we need to leave perfectionism in the dust. This means we need to start using determination, diligence, and patience to start and complete all our important projects. We need to challenge ourselves, but not expect perfection. What we need to keep in mind is that we will get better as we learn from each project.

In the last year, I have worked on my own perfectionism. Now, I am able to work on my writing without fear of failing. Even though I am not where I want to be, I am so much further than I was a year ago. Every day, my writing gets better, because I am determined, diligent, and patient with my progress.

"The habits of a vigorous mind are born in contending with difficulties."

Abigail Adams

Temptation Blog

"Humble yourselves [feeling very insignificant] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up and make your lives significant]."

James 4:10

This week, we need to write down our temptations and make a plan to combat them. When temptations arise we need to work on studying and applying the Word to our lives, praying every day, keeping focused on dreams and goals, resisting the devil, overcoming evil with good, and standing firm. Temptations will arise, but we have a choice about how we can handle those temptations.

One thing we need to do is not hide the temptation. At one point in my life, I tried to sweep my problems under the rug, but, now, I am very open about my issues. This had done wonders for my support system. When temptations arise, I am able to freely talk with others and get help from those who care about me.

Note: There is one thing I want everyone to know about me. In the past, I have let my depression go without getting help. Finally, when I was twenty-seven, I attempted suicide. This is when I actually started getting the help I needed. In addition, I was put on anti-depressants that helped me at that time. If you feel the temptation is too much for you to handle, please seek help. My blogs are no substitute for professional counseling. Don't ever feel a shamed; we all need extra help from time to time.

Joy in the Midst of Trials

This week, I want us all to find joy even in the midst of our trials. There are positive events in our lives, but, sometimes, we are so focused on the negative events that we miss out on the positive ones. Seeing the good and bad, or negative and positive, in our lives is all perception. We choose to see the good or the bad. If we focus on positive aspects of life, we will experience a more positive life. On the other hand, if we look only at the negative, we will experience a more negative life. My prayer is that we will all choose a positive life, so we can have joy whether we experience trials or not.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

II Timothy 1:7

Praying the Word over Fear

We need to study God's Word daily and meditate on it, so we can get His Word in our hearts. Praying God's Word is a great way to meditate on it and discover the power we need to conquer fear. Fear does not have to control us, but we can cast out fear and live in victory. At first, you can use the above scriptures to pray God's Word concerning fear, but, after awhile, you need to step out and find your own scriptures to meditate on.

Praying God's Word can be used in all circumstances. There are times when I need peace, so I pray the Word for peace. Other times I need self-control, so I read and study all the scriptures I can find on self-control. God's Word is a great way to get through tough times and past trials and tribulation. God's Word is true and should be trusted in all circumstances.

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face…

We must do that which we think we cannot."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Mentoring Blog

The first thing we need to do is learn from a mentor. That way we can grow from someone more experience than us. Once we are able to grow on our own, we can help others grow. It is a cycle that can be repeated over and over.

Some other things that we need to remember about mentoring is that it will require us to give others the materials they need. There are books and other materials that will help reinforce what you are trying to teach. My husband, Brenton, has given tons of books away. He gets some of his books in a box, and gives the whole box of books away.

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

Weariness

This week's blog is short due to all the work that has gone into painting and rearranging my home, but it was a lesson that I learned during all the painting. It is a lesson I want us all to think about. This week's challenge is to find peace in stressful or tiring circumstances. If there is no peace, then we need to ask God to give us peace. It is amazing what God will do when we seek Him.

"But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.

So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble."

II Timothy 1:7

For additional information on some of these topics, please check out the following links:

Self-Control

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/11/self-control.html

The People Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/11/the-people-blog.html

Discouragement Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/11/discouragement-blog.html

Leaving Perfectionism in the Dust

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/11/leaving-perfectionism-in-the-dust.html

Temptation Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/10/temptation-blog.html

Joy in the Midst of Trials

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/10/joy-in-the-midst-of-trials.html

Praying the Word over Fear

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/09/praying-the-word-over-fear.html

Mentoring Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/09/mentoring-blog.html

Weariness

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/09/weariness-blog.html

The Challenge Blog Summer

This blog is a little late, because of the holiday season. Our family is busy preparing for the celebration at home and at church. As you read the following challenges, remember to incorporate these challenges into your own life. Don't wait until New Year's to make your own resolutions. The time is now! In addition to adding these challenges to your life, also remember to enjoy the holidays with your family and friends. They are the ones that will love and support you as you work on your own personal development.

The Inside Out Blog

This week we need to work from the inward out. Instead of focusing on our outward appearance, we need to look inwardly and pursue our purpose. This can be done by not focusing on outward appearance, dealing with negative emotional issues, creating a personal life plan, and doing our best. We need to remember that what matters in life comes from within us. As we prioritize and plan for our life, we are more able to work hard and create the life we want.

    When my mom died, I knew that I wanted to make the rest of my life count. In the past, I focused so much on my outward appearance, but, now, I know what is really important. Following my dreams of becoming a writer and public speaker are important, and pursuing this dream is important to my family. If I can show my family that they can succeed with hard-work, then they will pursue their dreams and become successful. Even though I miss my mom, I know she is proud of the success I have achieved in my life. Right after she died, I completed my college degree and continued on to graduate school. My mom always supported me and told me how proud she was of my accomplishments. That pride that my mom instilled within me shines through.

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind them."

Eleanor Roosevelt

The Big Projects Blog

"Accept the challenge so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory."

George S. Patton

My challenge this week is to write down a project that I want to complete. This project will be one that I have struggled to get started or is half finished. Once I know what project I want to complete, I will write down all the steps I need to complete. As I work through this project, I will continually remind myself that I am not perfect, and that mistakes are a part of the process. It will also be my goal to find creative ways to work through this project, so that it does not get boring and mundane. Of course, I will also enlist the help of my friends and family. They will help me when I get stuck or need a little extra help. Finally, I will study the project subject and ask plenty of questions, because there is no such thing as a stupid question.

The Busy Blog

For this week, I challenge everyone to slow down for at least a day. Take time with family and friends, and take time to rest. Of course, it is important to get work done, but it is just as important to build relationships and get our bodies rejuvenated. The work will be there when we get back.

 

The Frustration Blog

This week we need to figure out what is frustrating us. If we are frustrated, our lives are not as productive. When we work on finding ways to illuminate our frustration before it even begins, we have less frustration in our lives and are free to succeed. It also means that, even if we are not frustrated at any time this week, we need to work on preparing ourselves by practicing God's presence, helping other people, finding our purpose, and eliminating exhaustion even before we get to the point of frustration. Practice acting as if you cannot fail, because God has a plan for your life and He will see it through to completion.

"All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail."

Dorothea Brande

The Peace Blog

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you."

John 14:27

When we find peace, we are more joyful and healthier. Peace can help calm anxiety and ease depression. This is why our challenge for this week is to pursue peace. We can pursue peace by praying, reading, studying, and meditating on the Word of God, having a positive attitude, cleaning up physical and emotional messes, and singing or listening praise and worship.

For additional information on some of these topics, please check out the following links:

Studying the Word

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/studying-the-word.html

            Thoughts

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/thoughts.html

Positive New Language

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/positive-new-language.html

Forgiveness

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/forgiveness.html

    

The Faith Blog

"And He spared not the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a preacher of righteousness, with seven other persons, when He brought a flood upon the world of ungodly [people]."

2 Peter 2:5

 

    This week, we need to challenge ourselves to have faith like Noah. The type of faith that Noah has is protection to God's people. Those who are faithful are protected from harm. Faithfulness is a seed that can grow. God planted the seed in us when we believed in Him, but He expects us to grow and mature our faith.

    Of course, the way to grow our faith is by reading God's Word and praying. Trusting in Him is also a way to develop our faith. Every time we trust God, even when things do not look like they are going right, we are able to use our faith more effectively. Every day, our faith can get stronger as we build our relationship with God.

The Selfishness Blog

"But if anyone has this world's goods (resources for sustaining life) and sees his brother and fellow believer in need, yet closes his heart of compassion against him, how can the love of God live and remain in him?

 

Little children, let us not love [merely] in theory or in speech but in truth [in practice and in sincerity)."

I John 3:17, 18

 

    This week we need to examine our own actions and motives. If there is any selfishness in us, we need to use the Word of God and start to live as Christ lived. This will change our lives and create a success that we did not even know was possible. God needs people to give themselves unselfishly, so that they can be an example of Christ to the world.

 

"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Selfishness Scriptures

 

Proverbs 28:27

Mark 8:34

Romans 12:10

Romans 15:2

I Corinthians 9:19

I Corinthians 10:24

I Corinthians 10:33

II Corinthians 5:15

Galatians 6:2

Philippians 2:3-7

I Timothy 5:6

I John 3:17, 18

 

Leadership Blog

    This week we need to look at our leadership style. We need to make sure that we are leading as Christ leads us. If we are not leading according to the Bible, we need to start reading through the gospels and learn about Jesus and how He led His disciples. These scriptures will help us lead our followers more effectively.

    As we learn to lead, we will notice that our followers will also begin to lead. They will learn by our example. This is a great feeling, because now your leadership is increasing. Those that you have taught to lead will also teach others to lead. Many leaders become great due to this process. We are all able to become great leaders, but it takes daily preparation and planning. Of course, the most important part of leadership is building a relationship with God. A relationship with God is built through daily devotions, praise and worship.

Influential Blog

"You have delivered me from the strivings of the people; You made me the head of the nations; a people I had not known served me.

As soon as they heard of me, they obeyed me; foreigners submitted themselves cringingly and yielded feigned obedience to me."

Psalm 18: 43-44

    This week we need to understand the importance of influence. As Christians, we need to influence others, so they can start and develop their relationship with God. If we are not courageous, wise, faithful, and obedient, we will have a hard time influencing any one, especially if we are witnessing to people around us.

    Sometimes, we may need to ask God how to influence others through courage, wisdom, faithfulness, and obedience. God will help us to live a life of influence and gain favor in the eyes of men. These character traits all come from time with God. Our time with God, as I have said before, comes from meditating on God's Word and praying. God has given us the ability to speak the Word to our problems and rely on Him completely.

    As we study God's Word and pray, we will develop the same character traits seen in Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Queen Esther. They are developed over time, so we must patiently wait and get closer to God. God has a plan for our lives, just as He had a plan for Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Queen Esther. Every day, we need to work on our relationship with God and practicing these four character traits.

Challenge of the Week

    Our challenge for the week is to read this blog and incorporate each challenge into our lives. We need to make sure that we are moving forward in our lives and not standing still or moving backwards. If you stand still for too long, you will eventually move backwards. Sometimes, we will struggle with one of the challenges, but struggles are in our lives to help us learn and grow. Learning from our mistakes is vital to a successful life.

From my family to yours, "Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"

To read the complete original blogs posted in the spring click on the links below:

The Inside Out Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/05/the-inside-out-blog.html

The Big Projects Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/06/my-big-projects.html

The Busy Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/06/the-busy-blog.html

The Frustration Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/06/frustration-blog.html

The Peace Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/07/the-peace-blog.html

The Faith Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/07/faith-blog.html

The Selfishness Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/08/selfishness-blog.html

Leadership Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/08/leadership-blog.html

Influential Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/08/influential-blog.html

 

The Challenge Blog Spring

This week's challenge blogs are from this last spring. These blogs are devoted to topics such as forgiveness, passion, procrastination, relationships, depression, looking inward, the Lord's Prayer, and studying the Word. As we read through the challenges, we need to check our progress on each topic. The more we read and study each topic, the more we will grow in personal development and succeed in life.

Forgiveness Blog

We've all heard people say that they will never forgive someone else for the pain they have caused. This is so tragic, because it only hurts the person more that is carrying around the unforgiveness. Many times, the person who hurt us has gone on with their life and free from any recollection of the offense. For our own sakes, we need to forgive and renew our memories. It does not make us weak to forgive. Actually, it shows great strength on our part to forgive all offenses. What comes after forgiveness is peace, and that is worth letting go of any bitterness no matter how big or small.

    This week, we need to challenge ourselves to forgive all offenses. Take a look at your memories and find the ones that hold the most hurt. Find the lesson and good out of the situation and forgive. Every time the memory tries to come back with a negative emotion tied to it, forgive the person or situation again. Forgiveness is a habit, and we get better at forgiving as we practice. At first, forgiving may seem hard and awkward, but remember that it gets easier with time.

And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Passion Blog

My challenge to all of us this week is to find our passion. We need to write down our dreams, prepare ourselves for success, get back up and dust ourselves off when we fail, find a motivational support team, and practice until we are experts. If we will take these steps, we will become more and more passionate about our dreams. This passion has the capability of speeding up the process of success. When we are more passionate, we are more likely to focus on our dreams and work harder.

"Therefore I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men."

Acts 24:16

Procrastination Blog

This week's challenge is to take the step necessary to stop procrastination. Remember, the benefits of diligently working on a project are higher than quitting because a project gets too hard. The confidence and satisfaction of a tough project completed is worth the difficult moments. Conquering fear and completing projects is the most important step to success, so I promise to never give into procrastination and make completing difficult projects a habit in my life.

 

"Putting off an easy thing makes it hard; putting off a hard thing makes it impossible."

George Claude Lorimer

 

Relationships Blog

There are times where we have to deal with relationships that are with people we don't necessarily like. This is a situation that can be hard to deal with, but it is not impossible. It is important to find the good in everyone and treat them with respect. If we respect them, then they could turn into our friend. They may not be close friends, but anything is better than dealing with an enemy.

Our challenge this week is to build and maintain healthy relationships. If we use these relationship ingredients, we can become fulfilled in our relationships. We are relational people, so it is necessary for us to work on learning about relationships. Most of us aren't born understanding how to relate to others, but, as we grow and mature, we learn how relationships work.

"You are My friends if you keep on doing the things which I command you to do."

John 15:14

Depression Blog

Depression is hard to go through, but it is not impossible. God has a plan for my life. It is important for me to understand that I can succeed, even in the midst of depression. This week's challenge is to take the necessary steps to deal with depression. Success is my goal, and depression is just a speed bump. If I can use these techniques to get through my depression, I will be able to take giant steps closer to success and teach others to be successful, too.

"Reading makes a full man, meditation makes a profound man, discourse a clear man."

Benjamin Franklin

Looking Inward Blog

The point of this blog is to teach us the importance of working on us and not looking at everyone else's faults. This can be done by learning the fruits of the Spirit, which need to replace the fruits of the flesh. Although we were born sinners, we are now free to work on personal development that will help us through this life and into eternity.

    This week's challenge is to identify the fruits of the flesh, learn the fruits of the Spirit, and work on increasing the fruits of the Spirit and decreasing the fruits of the flesh. This will cause the greatest success of all. Not only will we be able to succeed at our relationships, careers, and personal life, but we will be able to develop a relationship with God that will be an example to everyone around us.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Lord's Prayer Blog

9     "In this manner, therefore, pray:

 

Our Father in heaven

Hallowed be Your name.

 

10    Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

 

11    Give us this day our daily bread

 

12    And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

 

13    And do not lead us into

Temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For yours is the kingdom and the

power and the glory forever.

Amen.

The challenge this week is to follow Christ's example of prayer. It is also important to set up a regular time for prayer. Some may want to pray in the morning. There are others that do better when they pray in the afternoon or evening. Whenever we set up a devotion time, we just need to consistently pray at that time. Of course, things will come up and try to steal that time from us, but we need to work as hard as we can to protect our prayer time. This is the most important time of our day.

Studying the Word Blog

Our challenge this week is to study the Word and other informational books and articles. After we have studied everything we can, we need to teach others what we have learned. Think of all this as an adventure and not just boring material that we have to learn. When we view God's Word as one exciting adventure after another, we are more likely to read and study it more than just an old book that has no relevance. Instead of reading our romance and spy novels, we need to read the Bible. The Bible is full of fighting, journeys to foreign lands, and, of course, romance.

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

Benjamin Franklin

 

The Challenge Week

    This week we need to look back at all the spring blogs. We need to work on forgiveness, passion, procrastination, relationships, depression, looking inward, the Lord's Prayer, and studying the Word. When we work on these personal developments, we grow and are more successful in every part of our lives.

    

    Lately, I have thought about how I teach my children. A lot of times, we teach children or deal with our own problems one dimensionally, but this is not as effective in the end. We need to develop ourselves and children physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This is why I write my blogs. Each blog deals with one of the topics.

To read the complete original blogs posted in the spring click on the links below:

Forgiveness Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/forgiveness.html

Passion Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/passion.html

Procrastination Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/procrastination.html

Relationships Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/relationships.html

Depression Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/depression.html

Looking Inward Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/03/looking-inward.html

The Lord's Prayer Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/the-lords-prayer.html

Studying the Word Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/studying-the-word.html

DISCLAIMER: This information is provided "as is". The author of this information disclaims any loss or liability, either directly or indirectly as a consequence of applying the information presented herein, or in regard to the use and application of said information. No guarantee is given, either expressed or implied, in regard to the merchantability, accuracy, or acceptability of the information.

Always consult your physician

This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read

 

The Challenge Blog Winter

"The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

    For the next few weeks, I will post challenge blogs from posts in winter, spring, summer, and fall. Each of the challenges are weekly challenges that are at the end of each blog. They are important for us to review and make sure we are progressing in our personal development. This first challenge blog includes topics on perseverance, purpose, confidence, thoughts, developing a positive new language, being fearless, and goal-setting.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Eleanor Roosevelt

The Perseverance Blog

"The realm of ideas everything depends on enthusiasm… in the real world all rests on perseverance."

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

My challenge to you is to never give up. We need to continue to learn and grow, so we need to find ways to persevere through life's obstacles. First, we need to look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we will not give up. Second, we need to make a list of people, including ourselves, that would benefit from our success. Finally, we need to persevere, because God has a purpose for our lives. He has something special for us to do, and He does not want us to give up. Whatever we set our minds to, we need to push through the tough obstacles and succeed for God, ourselves, and others.

^"We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance."

2 Thessalonians 3:4, 5

"Perseverance, secret of all triumphs."

Victor Hugo

The Purpose Blog

"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."

John F. Kennedy

My challenge to you is to pursue your purpose each day and be happy with each opportunity, whether big or small, that comes your way. Remember that God has created you for a reason. We need to understand that dreams and gifts usually start small, and we need to develop the dreams and gifts. If it came easy, it wouldn't be a real victory in our lives and we wouldn't learn and grow from the experience.

"For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."

Romans 9:17

"There is on quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it."

Napoleon Hill

The Confidence Blog

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Confidence is an important part of success. The seven steps to gain confidence are believing God has a plan for everyone, changing negative messages to positive messages, setting and reaching goals, becoming a lifelong learner, leaving perfection in the dust, surrounding oneself with positive people, and making a contract with oneself to not give up. These seven steps helped me on my quest for more confidence. Each step builds on the other, which will allow you to build confidence as you implement the steps. My challenge to you is to work on each step and watch your confidence grow.

I John 5:14

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.

 

"Optimism is the faith that loads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

 

Helen Keller

 

 

The Thoughts Blog

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."

-Unknown

My challenge for our thoughts this week is to switch bad habits with good habits. The way to a successful, exciting life is through our thoughts. In Ephesians 4:22, 23, we read that the Word of God encourages us to constantly renew our mind and attitude. When we renew our minds, we teach and train our minds. If we teach and train our minds, we grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and socially. As we grow in all these areas, we get closer to the successful life God designed for each of us.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

II Timothy 1:7

 

"Our thoughts are what our thoughts make it."

 

Marcus Aurelius

The Positive New Language

"Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another."

Napoleon Hill

 

As we use these techniques, we train our minds to think positively and our mouth to speak positively. Once we start building this new vocabulary, we will find ourselves automatically using positive words, even in difficult situations. This week's challenge is to learn this new positive language and banish all negative vocabulary.

"Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it."

Ephesians 4:29

 

"The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will his world and the world at large."

Confucius

The Fearless Blog

"Avoiding Danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold."

Helen Keller

Fear can be friend or foe. If we let fear rule us, it becomes our enemy. When we use fear to keep us alert and on our toes, we become prepared for any surprises along the way. Life is a journey and can be truly satisfying or unsatisfying. This week's challenge is to find our purpose, be afraid and take action, use our imaginations, and live adventurously. Most of us don't succeed, because we have given into fear. As we use fear to achieve our ultimate goals, success will be at our fingertips.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

II Timothy 1:7

 

"Freedom lies in being bold."

 

Robert Frost

The Goal-setting Blog

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."

Henry David Thoreau

As we meet each goal, the next ones should be more and more challenging. If we don't challenge ourselves, then our lives can become stagnant. It is an amazing feeling to complete one goal and go on to an even tougher and more complicated goal. This creates an adventurous spirit in us that makes life worth living.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:13, 14

"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps."

Confucius

The Anger Blog

"When anger arises, consider the consequences."

Confucius

Three of the steps to anger are discovering we have an anger problem, figuring out why we are angry, and asking God to take away our anger. There are many more ways to help us with anger management, but we need to first focus on the three steps above. This week my challenge is to find where the anger is stemming from and forgive the situation or person once and for all. As we face past or present anger, we need to learn to pray, count, and think of the consequences before we act on our anger. If we learn to control our anger, we will have better relationships and more peace in our lives. Remember, it is our job to become more like Christ. He is slow to anger with us, so we need to learn how to control our anger when dealing with others.

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy and loving-kindness.

Psalm 103:8

 

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."

Mark Twain

This Weeks Challenge

"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration victory."

George Patton

    This week we need to make sure we are continuing our growth. We need to work on perseverance, purpose, confidence, thoughts, using positive language, being fearless, goal-setting, and anger. If we work on these areas of personal development, we will see an increase in our personal development and productivity. Each of the challenges above have a corresponding blog. Below the challenge is a link that will take us to that specific blog.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

"Courage is the human virtue that counts most- courage to act on limited knowledge and insufficient evidence. That's all any of us have."

Robert Frost

To read the complete original blogs posted in the spring click on the links below:

The Perseverance Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2011/12/perseverance.html

The Purpose Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/purpose.html

The Confidence Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/confidence.html

The Thoughts Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/thoughts.html

The Positive New Language

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/positive-new-language.html

The Fearless Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/fearless.html

The Goal-setting Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/goal-setting.html

The Anger Blog

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/anger.html

 

Self-Control

"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride): it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]."

I Corinthians 13: 4, 5

    What I Corinthians 13: 4, 5 is talking about is self-control. A lot of us would probably say that we have self-control, but we need to examine our lives and make sure we practice self-control daily. We need to look at our behavior and reactions to events in our lives. Do they show us a plentiful amount of self-control or do we need to develop more?

    Yes, self-control is just like any fruit of the Spirit. It is developed through study and prayer. We think that self-control is automatically present when we accept Christ into our lives, but this is not correct. When we accept Christ, we need to work on developing self-control into our lives.

    The one way to get control back into our lives is to pray the Word of God. This releases God's power into our lives. God's power will give us the ability to do all things through Him Who strengthens us. The following scriptures are accompanied with a prayer. Pray the prayer and believe the God will give you the strength for self-control. After awhile, you can pray your own prayers.

Proverbs 15:18

"A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger appeases contentment."

Prayer: "Thank you God for making me slow to anger and for giving me contentment."

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Proverbs 25:28

"He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls."

Prayer: "Father, please give me rule over my own spirit, so that I am not like a city that is broken down and without walls."

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Proverbs 31:16

"She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard."

Prayer: "Lord, help me to work on and complete all my duties, so that I can take care of my family and perform my responsibilities with competence."

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Ecclesiastes 5:2

"Be not rash with your mouth, and let not your heart be hasty to utter a word before God. For God is in heaven, and you are on earth; therefore let your words be few."

Prayer: "Lord, please, help me not be rash with my mouth, and do not let my heart be hasty to utter a word before God. Let my words be few."

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Ecclesiastes 5:4

"When you vow a vow or made a pledge to God, do not put off paying it; for God has no pleasure in fools (those who witlessly mock him). Pay what you vow."

Prayer: "God, please, help me pay my vows and pledges. God, I know that I will not please You if I am a fool, so help me be wise in everything I do."

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Ecclesiastes 7:9

Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools."

Prayer: "Father, help me not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed. Help me not be a fool, but instead to be wise."

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Lamentations 3: 26, 27

"It is good that one should hope in and wait quietly for the salvation (the safety and ease) of the Lord."

Prayer: "Lord, I will hope in and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lord, give me the safety and ease to do all You ask of me."

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Luke 21:19

"By your steadfastness and patient endurance you shall win the true life of your souls."

Prayer: "God, help me be steadfast and have patient endurance, so that I can have the life You desire for me."

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I Corinthians 6:12

"Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power."

Prayer: "Father, help me to know what is helpful and good for me to do. Help me to not become a slave to anything."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I Corinthians 13: 4, 5

"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride): it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]."

Prayer: "Lord, help me to love. Help me to be patient and kind, but help me not be envious, jealous, boastful or vainglorious, or haughty. Show me how to refrain from becoming conceited, rude, acting unbecomingly, insist on my own rights or ways, self-seeking, touchy, fretful, resentful, or not taking account of evil done to me."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Galatians 5: 22, 23

"But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,

Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]."

Prayer: "God, help me develop love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Thank you for giving me the fruits of the spirit to guide and direct me."

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Colossians 3: 12-14

"Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gently ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever come, with good temper].

Be gently and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].

And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]."

Prayer: "Father, show me how to clothe myself therefore, as Your chosen ones. Thank you for helping me have tenderhearted, pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of myself, gentle ways, and patience."

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II Peter 1: 5-7

"For this very reason, adding your diligence [to the divine promises], employ every effort in exercising your faith to develop virtue (excellence, resolution, Christian energy), and in [exercising] virtue [develop] knowledge (intelligence),

And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety).

And in [exercising] godliness [develop] brotherly affection, and in [exercising] brotherly affection [develop] Christian love."

Prayer: "Lord, help me to add diligence, showing me how to employ every effort in exercising my faith to develop virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and Christian love."

Challenge for the Week

    This week we need to persistently work on developing self-control. This can be accomplished through praying the Word of God. When we do, we will feel a connection with God that will develop the self-control we need in our lives. This self-control also comes through thoroughly examining our lives and getting rid of any areas that are out of control.

    Here are a few questions that we need to ask ourselves:

1. Do I get angry every time I don't get my own way?
2. When I do get angry, do I instantly react to what made me angry?
3. Do I have any control issues with substances or things that are not good for me?
4. Am I constantly getting in trouble with others for my attitude at work or home?
5. Am I able to make decisions calmly, or are my decisions knee-jerk reactions?

If we said yes to any of these questions, we need to work on self-control. This isn't something that we should be ashamed of, but, instead, understand that we are a work in progress. As we work on self-control, we will see a difference in our level of joy and in the ability to get closer to others. The walls that are put up by self-destruction will begin to crumble and we will be able to live life to the fullest.

The People Blog

"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a champion of fools suffers harm."

Proverbs 13:20

    It is extremely important to surround yourself with positive people. Take a look at who your friends are and how they make you feel. If you are down every time you talk with them, you may need to spend less time with them. Negative people are draining and make others tired. There is one person I know that drains me emotionally. Even during good times, this person puts a negative twist on everything. Sometimes, I have to create distance between the two of us, so I don't feel depressed and negative. It is especially important for me to watch who I am around, because, a majority of my life, I suffered with depression. Although I rarely have depression now, I still need to spend my time with positive people and avoid those who are negative.

    A great example is my husband, Brenton. For me to tell you the story, I have to go back to my childhood. As I have said before, I was an independent, adventurous child. Around nine, I had a lot of things that occurred in my life. It all made me feel shameful of who I was, so I stopped my independent and outgoing life. All of a sudden, taken away from my plush play area, I was confined to a mobile home park for the elderly.

    Jumping back to the present day, I have struggled to become independent once, again. The great news is that I am becoming more independent. Right now, I am typing in a gas station as I wait for my phone to charge. The directions back to Brenton's meeting place are on my phone, but my phone died. Instead of freaking out, I simply pulled off the road and went inside this gas station to ask for directions. There I found an outlet, so I plugged in my phone and I am waiting for the directions. As I wait, I am writing my blog and doing work I couldn't do while driving. What a great experience!

    What does this have to do with finding the right person? Well, the reason I have found my way back to independence and adventure is due to finding Brenton. He was the encouragement I needed. Every day, he reminds me of how much he believes in me. There are a lot of other people who encourage and support me, but Brenton is the closest to me. He knows everything about me and loves me anyway.

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with a few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence."

George Washington

    There are five characteristics that friends need to possess. They must be positive, successful, encouraging, a confidant, and giving. If a person does not possess these five characteristics, they are not suitable for intimate friendship. Although this may seem harsh, it is important that friends have these qualities, so they help you become successful.

Positive

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose]."

Proverbs 27:17

    A positive friend is one that helps shape us. They give us the positive advice that leads to great success. The one thing they are not is demeaning or negative about our ability and purpose in life. If we have friends that act like we are a joke and will never amount to anything, we need to stop spending time with them. We are influential to one another, so we start believing what we hear continuously. Any friend that would laugh when we talk about our dreams and goals is not worthy of our time or energy.

    True friends lift us up and make sure we have the confidence we need to succeed. They are willing to give their time to help us grow and prosper in life. Some of my closest friends are able to read me. When I am struggling to get everything done, they step in and give a helping hand. These are the friends that I am happy to help when they need me.

    Positive friends use positive language. They rarely say that something can't be done or You'll never do anything that complicated. Instead they will say, "Wow, that sure will be more difficult, but you will be greatly rewarded when you get it done." Friends who talk positively are great to talk with, because they always can show us the positive side to a situation. Fortunately, talking positively is a technique I work on, so that I can be that positive talking friend. This was not always the way it was for me. Early on in my life, I constantly put myself down and used negative talk for almost everything. It is such a relief to use positive language and teach others to use positive language, too.

Successful

"He who walks [as a champion] with wise men is wise, but he who associates with [self-confident] fools [is a fool himself and] shall smart for it."

Proverbs 13:20

    Success is a word that is misunderstood. When most of us think of success, we think of millionaires and billionaires. It is usually financial wealth that we associate with success, but this is only a small part of success. When a baby starts learning to walk, just taking one step and falling down is a success. This is how we need to look at our own life. If we are learning something new or trying to change something, we need to accept every step completed as a success. It doesn't matter if the step is small, because a lot of small steps successfully completed will equal a big success. What matters is that we are continually working toward our goals that will help us realize our dreams.

    With that said, a successful friend may still work on their own success. The difference between a successful friend and unsuccessful friend is their purpose. Are they intentionally working on completing goals that will make them successful? Have they experienced small or big successes that were intentional? Do they understand and believe in everyone defining purpose for their lives? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then they are a successful friend. On the other hand, if the answer is no to any of these questions, they are unsuccessful friends.

    What do I mean by intentional? Some people can unintentionally do the right thing. They can accidently win the lottery or get a good grade on a test they didn't study for, but this isn't true success. Before we make a decision on a friend, we need to watch them and interact with them. Make sure their successes are intentional by seeing how often they achieve a success. Most of the time, people who gain success unintentionally only have a few successes. They are waiting for something to happen to them, instead of going out and making things happen. Of course, intentional people are the opposite.

Encouraging

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Thessalonians 5:11

    The encouragement part of a friendship should be a given, right? Well, that is not always true. Unfortunately, many of us do not feel we deserve encouragement or that encouragement is important. We end up having friends that either don't care about our purpose or put us down. Just because a friend is not abusive, doesn't mean that the friend is the right friend.

    A friend that encourages us always looks for the best in us. This friend will spend time lifting us up when we are down, but will also deposit encouragement into our emotional bank when we have a positive balance. They know that we need to have extra encouragement funds, so, when we do get discouraged, we will have enough encouragement to help us out of any sadness or depression.

    My sister-n-law, Teadran, is a friend that regularly deposits extra encouragement into my emotional bank. She and my husband, Brenton, encourage me so much that I now have an emotional savings account, so my discouraging moments last for a short time. What's great about emotional bank and savings accounts is that there is never a fee for deposits, but there is a gigantic fine for overdrafts. If we don't get what we need in the way of encouragement, we will suffer emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

    If we do not have anyone, or even if we do have someone, who encourages us, there is One that can encourage us and fill our emotional bank and savings account to full. That is Jesus Christ who died, so that we can be full of life not death. His grace and forgiveness and encouragement will change our lives, so that we can help change other's lives. Let's give Him our emotional bank and let him correct the overdraft and give us all the encouragement we need through His word.

Confidant

"Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own life."

I Samuel 18:3

    God is the greatest confidant, because He is perfect and has all the answers. We should always pray first and act second. If we get angry and want to speak our mind, we need to give it to God and let Him guide us. Prayer is so important to our success in life, because we need God as our best friend. Building a relationship with Christ will help us find the answers more quickly, because He is God of all the answers. Through prayer and His word, we have everything we need to gain the confidence to succeed.

    Now, I know you all may think that my constant talking about my wonderful husband is a bit much, but there is a reason that I talk about him all the time. First, I am absolutely in love with him, so it's hard for me to not talk about him. Second, we have much more than just a love relationship. Although I would be happy with just a love relationship, I am privileged to know Brenton on a totally different level.

    Brenton and I met on January 1, 1995 in Los Angeles, California. The next day, Brenton called me at work and asked me out. From the moment we started dating, we were best friends. Every moment spent together was time to get to know each other more. The one thing that made our friendship and love stronger is how comfortable we were with one another. When I talked to Brenton, I could tell him anything. In fact, I could tell him all of my secrets without feeling nervous or embarrassed.

    This weekend, as we spent time together, we learned even more about one another. As we learn more about ourselves, we share it with each other. A lot of times, Brenton will have more great insight into why I do the things I do. The same is true for me understanding Brenton and giving him my own insight. We are imperfect, so we are constantly trying to learn and grow. As we understand ourselves more, we grow as a couple. Sometimes, couples grow apart, because, as they learn and grow, they do not feel comfortable sharing their growth with their spouse. It is vital that couples don't just grow and learn individually, but also as a couple.

    Friendship is the same way when we are not married to the person. There are a group of women that have become my friends. As I grow, I share with them how I have grown. This has bonded us, so we have a closer relationship because we are growing together. When I am sad or need to talk, Brenton and these women are the ones I go to and talk about my problems. When I talk with them, I feel better and usually have a solution to my problem.

"A friend is someone who knows you and loves you just the same."

Elbert Hubbard

Giving

    Friends that give of their time and money are special. In my life, I have experienced a lot of different kinds of friendships. First, there are the friendships that we put all the time and effort into the other friend, but they are unable to reciprocate the same time and energy into the relationship. Next, there are friends who are low in confidence and ready to pounce on any of our faults. Finally, there are friends that give to us without hesitation. They want to help us in every area of our life, and they don't feel like helping us is a waste of their time.

    These are just a few of the types of friends that I have experienced, but they show the huge differences in friends. The one friend that can't reciprocate is really an absent friend. It is a one sided friendship. A friend who puts us down is more of an enemy that can drag us down. Friends who are willing to give their time and energy to help us and we help them are the right people.

For example, when my mom was in hospital, I would take my four year old son, Danny, with me. He wasn't in school yet, so I had no other choice but bring him and activities for him to do while in my mom's hospital room. It was okay when my mom was in her own room, because Danny could play quietly on the sofa or watch television as my mom and I talked. Although my hands were full, I was able to maintain everything and had a little balance in my life.

    When my mom was moved to ICU, everything changed. No children were allowed to visit patience in ICU, so I didn't know what to do. At this point, my father-in-law, Don Belknap stepped in and agreed to watch Danny while I went to sit with my mom. It was one of the greatest acts of kindness, because Don himself was sick with cancer. Although he didn't feel well, he took Danny and watched him for as long as I needed. My mom died on November 25, 2008, and Don died four months later. He didn't have to help me, but he knew I was struggling and needed the extra help. Every time I think of that time in my life, love swells up in my heart for my precious father-in-law who I miss so much.

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."

Romans 12:10

This Weeks Challenge

"Clothe yourselves therefore as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-behaved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long suffering, and has power to endure whatever comes with good temper].

Be gentle and forbearing with one another, and if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive].

And above all those [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness (which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]."

Colossians 3:12-14

    Our challenge this week is to find the right people for our lives. Not everyone will be our best friends. We need a few extremely close friends that will supply support for our purpose. Usually these people will have similar purposes and be on a similar road to success. Even some people that we like and have a great personality may not be in our inner-circle of friends, because they are on a different path. There are people in my life that are merely casual friends or acquaintances.

    In Colossians 3:12-14, Paul tells us how friendship is supposed to work. In my opinion, it really tells it all. We need to have a relationship with Jesus Christ, first. Once we have Christ in our lives, we need to gently care for one another and work out our differences by forgiving one another. This causes a bond with each other that will help us grow individually and together. Our heavenly Daddy, wants us to love one another and live in harmony.

    What does this all mean? We need to find the right friends for support, and we need to build our friendship skills to support them back. This type of friendship is a must for anyone to truly succeed. Most successes are not achieved with just one person. Companies can't gain success with just the CEO coming into work every day. It takes a team of people to get everything done and done correctly. When we are burned out or discouraged, we need our team member there to help us, of course, but we also need them encouraging and supporting us throughout our life so we don't get discouraged or burned out.

"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a progress; working together is success."

Henry Ford

Discouragement Blog

"Who comforts (consoles and encourages) us in every trouble (calamity and affliction), so that we may also be able to comfort (console and encourage) those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort (consolation and encouragement) with which we ourselves are comforted (consoled and encouraged) by God."

II Corinthians 1:4

    This week I was tempted to feel discouraged. This scripture has always comforted, because I know that God will console me during these times of discouragement. When I feel low, I have to remember that it is only a feeling, and that everything I go through is for a reason. Once I understand this concept, I am able to get out of my discouragement and begin to encourage myself and others.

    This week was a time I had to use this scripture. There were several incidences that left me feeling drained. First, Brenton and I found out that we will have to replace our outside air conditioning and heating unit. This will cost us at least $1,800.00. At this time, we are trying to pay off debt, so we don't have that kind of money.

    Second, we found out that our regular mechanic cannot fix Brenton's power steering. The car will have to go to the dealership. In addition to the power steering being gone, he also needs the brakes fixed, and the tires replaced before it will pass inspection this month. This plus my car getting inspected all costs money during the Thanksgiving holiday. It seems like every time we turn around, we need to spend more money to fix something important. We definitely need our heater this winter and our cars to get from place to place.

    Third, my daughter's dog, Shirley, stepped on glass and cut through two small arteries. This meant she had to go through emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. We also have to take her to the vet weekly to check on the wound. She's stayed inside a lot these past two weeks, and she loves to dump and go through our garbage. Of course, this adds to the stress of trying to keep the house clean.

    Fourth, I have dealt with chronic body pain and migraines this week. It is really hard to get things done when you don't feel good. By Sunday afternoon, I was unable to do any work that I needed to complete for Monday, and I was not able to complete my blog for this week on time. This was discouraging and made me feel depressed.

    With all that said, there was a time in my life where I would not have bounced back the next day. This time, I was back doing my work and studying for the classes that I teach and writing my blog the next day. This was such a relief, because, in the past, I have stayed in this state for three to five days. It is slow progress, but it is still progress. Now, I am quickly able to pick up the pieces and not dive into a pit of despair.

How do I get through discouragement?

"But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!"

II Corinthians 12:9

    Getting through discouragement is a process that I have worked on for a long time. Discouragement is a feeling, and the last thing we want to do is allow a feeling to rule our lives. First, when I feel discouragement or depression coming on me, I check what is going on in my life and the reasons for the feeling. Most of the time, there is a reason for how we feel. This week, I felt discouraged because there were so many events happening in our lives that were out of my control.

    Second, I allow myself to feel the emotion and understand that feeling or emotions are temporary. Sure, feelings can be uncomfortable and unpleasant, but they do go away. If I get too upset over feelings, I will feel more upset with myself when it all works out.

    Third, I put my feelings into God's hands and let Him ease my pain. He always makes me feel better when I discuss it with Him. Getting into His word and reading about all the people in the Bible that went through discouragement helps me to not feel alone. There were successful men and women in the Bible that went through discouragement, so I know that I can make it through discouragement. David is a great story to read, because, due to his mistakes and trials, he went through great amounts of discouragement.

    Fourth, I talk to someone who knows and loves me, so they can listen and encourage me. At the beginning of our marriage, Brenton misunderstood my needs. Well, I misunderstood his, too. Every time I would come to him with a problem, he would try to fix it for me. This is not what I wanted at all. Actually, I just wanted him to listen to me. Eventually, I could figure it out on my own, or I would ask him to help me fix the issue. Unfortunately, this frustrated both of us, but now we are clear on what we both need. If I come to him with a problem, he sits and listens and doesn't try to fix it unless I ask for his help.

    Fifth, I accept my mistakes and learn from them. This was once a problem for me. Sometimes, I wouldn't even try something, because I thought I might fail. The only projects I would take on were ones that I knew I would do well. Now, I understand that my failures are teaching tools and no one can succeed without them. If I have someone edit my articles and papers, the more mistakes they reveal the better. This means my papers will get better as I edit them. It is beneficial for me to get tougher skin and accept whatever mistakes I make. In the past few years, I have realized that the greatest people are those that dare to make mistakes and fail.

 

This week's challenge

"I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]."

Philippians 4:13

    This week we need to study and understand discouragement. Discouragement is a part of life, but it is only an emotion that will come and go. Successful people get discouraged, but they never allow discouragement to stop them from dreaming and growing. As long as we are getting better at handling discouragement and seeking ways to get back on track, we are on our way to great success.

    God has given us strength to pursue success in our lives. He wants us to succeed, because we are His examples and witnesses to the world. If we succeed and give Him the glory, others will be more willing to listen to our testimonies and we can introduce them to Christ. We need to let God empower us and infuse inner strength into us. It will be beneficial to our lives and others around us.

Other Discouragement Scriptures

"But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

Psalm 3:3

 

"You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,

To the end that my tongue and my heart and everything glorious within me may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

Psalm 30:11, 12

 

"The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I cam that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)."

John 10:10

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you]."

John 16:33

 

"We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose."

Romans 8:28

"We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair;"

II Corinthians 4:8

 

"Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day."

II Corinthians 4:16, 17

Temptation Blog

"My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.

My son, do not walk in the way with them; restrain your foot from their path;"

Proverbs 1:10, 15

We all go through temptations. Anyone who says they are not tempted is in denial. Not everybody has the same temptations. Some are tempted by fear and others are tempted with addictions to drugs, alcohol, or even food. Whatever the temptation, we need to learn to resist them, so God can work in our lives and we can experience peace.

    As we get more mature in God and seek Him with all our hearts, we will be able to withstand temptation more and more. The more we withstand temptation, the easier it gets to conquer temptation. It is hard for me to admit at times that I am not to the point where I do not give in temptation. Each day, I am working toward maturity, which I know through reading the Word and praying, I will achieve.

    There are scriptures that help us overcome temptation. Some of us have read these scriptures, but we do not know how to use them on regular basis to fight temptations. One way to use the scriptures is by using them as prayers. Take out the I, you, or we, and add you're own or someone else's name. These scriptures are also only effective when we believe them. Make sure that you believe every Word you read and say, because it is truth and will give you victory.

"God is our Refuge and Strength [mighty and impenetrable to temptation], a very present and well-proved help in trouble."

Psalm 46:1

    The steps to combating temptation that I have found in the Word of God are studying and applying the Word to our lives, praying every day, keeping focused on dreams and goals, resisting the devil, overcoming evil with good, and becoming subject to God by standing up against the devil. These are steps that I pulled right from the scriptures. If we use these steps, God will help us and give us overcoming power to have victory over temptations.

The Word

"Your word have I laid up in my heart, that I might not sin against You."

Psalm 119:11

    The Word of God is our training manual. It contains everything we need to live a positive, successful life. When we read the Word, it gives us the spiritual education we need to resist temptation. Of course, this can't help us unless we apply the information to our lives. There are many people who know God's Word by memory, but they never apply His Word. This is why there are Christians in the World that are depressed, sick, frustrated, and unable to resist temptation.

    Think about it this way: Even Lucifer (Satan) knows the scriptures and used them frequently when talking to Jesus in the wilderness. There is a world of difference between knowing and applying God's Word. One way to apply the Word is to pray the Word. This is when you take a scripture and add your name in the scripture and use it to pray to God. Another way is by taking all the bible stories and learning their relevance to your life. How can the story of Queen Esther be applied to our lives? She was an example of faithfulness and she showed the importance of obedience.

Prayer

"Keep awake and watch and pray [constantly], that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Mark 14:38

    Prayer is another vital part of resisting temptation. Meditating on God's Word is the only way to consistently give our temptations and frustrations to God. When things get really frustrating to me, I tend to go through depression. This is when I have to pray. Usually, I can tell if I am about to get depressed, because it usually hits me when I am tired or irritated with myself over something I didn't do or didn't feel I did right. If I am wise, I will begin to pray and give God all my temptations and frustration.

    One temptation for me is food. Like so many others, I am an emotional eater. If things are going right, I can stick to a diet and lose thirty to sixty pounds. On the other hand, if I struggle with trials, temptations, or depression, I can't get enough food and stuff myself. Of course, this makes my depression worse, because I feel out of control. This is why pray during these chaotic times is important, no vital, to my emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

Keeping focused on Dreams and Goals

"I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.

I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward."

Philippians 3:13-14

    In my previous blogs, we have talked about setting and reaching goals. This is vital for success in any area of our lives, but it is even more important when dealing with temptations. When we work on getting through a temptation, we need to have dreams and goals that we can focus on. Looking at what lies ahead and creating our plan for the future is a great way to get past these temptations. It is not enough just to think or talk about our dreams and goals. We must write down our dreams and goals, so we can keep our mind off of the temptation trying to get in the way of our success.

    For instance, in the past couple of weeks, my youngest son has suffered with the flu. He has kept me busy and up at night. For this reason, I have not posted my blog for two weeks. A few times this week, I have thought about not working on my blog. In the past, if I didn't think I would get something right the first time, I would give up. Now, I understand that I am working toward a dream and have set goals that I need to accomplish. Writing these dreams and goals down is how I keep myself on track toward success and away from temptation.

Avoid, resist, and flee Temptation

"Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.

Avoid it, do not go on it; turn from it and pass on."

Proverbs 4:14, 15

"So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you."

James 4:7

"Shun youthful lusts and flee from them, and aim at and pursue righteousness (all that is virtuous and good, right living, conformity to the will of God in through, word, and deed); [and aim at and pursue] faith, love, [and] peace (harmony and concord with others) in fellowship with all [Christians], who call upon the Lord out of a pure heart."

II Timothy 2:22

    First, we need to avoid temptation. This is sometimes better said than done, but it is the best way to get through moments of temptation. For example, if I am having a problem eating too much ice cream, then I need to not bring ice cream into my home. Of course, that would work if I didn't live with other people that love ice cream. Unfortunately, there is ice cream all the time.

    Second, we need to resist temptation. If someone brings ice cream into the house, which they do all the time, I need to consistently tell myself that I do not need the ice cream, and I need to stop getting myself a bowl when everyone is indulging. It is okay for me to have a little ice cream, but I don't need it all the time. Every time my family gets out the ice cream, I need to prepare myself and know exactly how much I can eat or not eat.

    Third, we need to flee temptation. There are times when I try to avoid temptation, but temptation ends up right in front of me. Then I try to resist temptation, but the temptation is too much for me. This is when I need to flee from the temptation. If my family decides they want ice cream, I need to run to the other room and not even watch. Usually, we think we are strong enough to avoid and resist the temptation on our own, but that isn't always the case. Many times, we just need to flee and get away from whatever is trying to tempt us.

Overcome Evil with Good

"Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome (master) evil with good."

Romans 12:21

    Sometimes, we are so focused on what we are doing that we get frustrated and ready to give into any temptation. When we are frustrated and ready to give up, we need to do something different. Instead of doing something for ourselves, we need to do good for someone else. If I am tempted to sit down and concentrate on depression, I make a decision to get up and help someone else in need. This means doing something good for someone in my immediate family or someone outside my family who is struggling. It can be a small thing like writing an encouraging letter or something major like giving someone money to get their electric bill turned back on.

    During a time in my life that I was going through really severe depression, I decided to start writing encouraging letters to people who were going through tough times. That is another reason I started writing this blog. It is away for me to feel like I am doing something good even when I feel bad. My husband, Brenton, likes to give away books to men who are struggling. He doesn't just do this when he is feeling good, but a practice that he does in good times and bad. Why? It takes our focus off of ourselves and onto encouraging someone else.

Stand Firm

"So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you."

James 4:7

    For a long time, I did not understand what it meant to stand firm. Now, I understand that when we stand firm, we are making a decision to not give into temptation. Sure, we might fail from time to time, but we get better at resisting temptation each time we stand firm or make a wise decision.

    An example of standing firm is me deciding to not give up my writing my blogs just because I miss one or two. Of course, I need to do my best to write my blogs each week, but from time to time I might fail to do so. What I am trying to do to stand firm is make a decision to work on extra blogs so I can get ahead. This way I have an extra blog I can post just in case I have a sick child, an emergency, or just can't get my blog written for the week.

Challenge for the Week

"Humble yourselves [feeling very insignificant] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up and make your lives significant]."

James 4:10

    This week, we need to write down our temptations and make a plan to combat them. When temptations arise we need to work on studying and applying the Word to our lives, praying every day, keeping focused on dreams and goals, resisting the devil, overcoming evil with good, and standing firm. Temptations will arise, but we have a choice about how we can handle those temptations.

    One thing we need to do is not hide the temptation. At one point in my life, I tried to sweep my problems under the rug, but, now, I am very open about my issues. This had done wonders for my support system. When temptations arise, I am able to freely talk with others and get help from those who care about me.

Note: There is one thing I want everyone to know about me. In the past, I have let my depression go without getting help. Finally, when I was twenty-seven, I attempted suicide. This is when I actually started getting the help I needed. In addition, I was put on anti-depressants that helped me at that time. If you feel the temptation is too much for you to handle, please seek help. My blogs are no substitute for professional counseling. Don't ever feel a shamed; we all need extra help from time to time.

 

 

 

 

Joy in the Midst of Trials

"Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.

Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience."

James 1:2, 3

    This scripture always confuses me, because, when I am going through a trial or temptation, I don't feel very joyful. Actually, I feel the direct opposite when I encounter hard times. The last thing I want to have during these times is a positive attitude.

    Lately, I have struggled with physical issues. This has caused me to want to give up on all my projects that I work on. At this time, I don't feel joyful, but the joy mentioned in James isn't a feeling. It is actually an action. This still doesn't mean it is easy. We have to make ourselves joyful.

How do we make ourselves joyful and excited about our lives when we are not feeling well physically, mentally, or emotionally?

    There are various actions that help keep me become joyful. These actions are starting my day with devotions, doing one thing productive, reading about inspirational people who got through tough trials, and surrounding myself with friends I can lean on. These actions are not complicated, so we can get through each one without too much stress. If we make these actions complicated, we will only become more frustrated. Frustration can lead to health problems and emotional insecurity.

Daily Devotions

"Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible in bright moments as well as in trouble, we cannot fully respond to its consolations because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness."

Helen Keller

    In my previous blogs, I have discussed devotions a lot. They are important to my stability and comfort me during tough times. When I do not have devotions, I usually find myself struggling more than usual. Devotions consist of praise and worship, reading the Bible, and praying. Sometimes, I may not do all these things, but I try to include all three in my devotions. If I have limited time, I usually just read my Bible and pray. God knows I am a person that needs variety, so He has given me peace about how I have my devotions. As long as I give my time to Him, He is pleased with my devotions.

    There is one thing that I want to make clear, though. I am NOT perfect, and I struggle to find joy during trials. Many people believe that if someone writes, sings, teaches or preaches on a subject that they miraculously are perfect. This is far from true!

    There are some health issues that I have struggled with since I was a teen. These issues make me hurt and weak. When I push myself to work on tough projects, I usually have a period where my body starts to shut down. During these times, I struggle with depression and irritability. Of course, I believe God will heal me, but I know He does not want me to wait until I am healed to find and work toward my purpose and dreams.

Do One Thing Productive

"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing."

Theodore Roosevelt

    There are times when I feel sick and depressed. This is especially true during the morning time, so it is hard to get going and feel joyful throughout the day. If I wake up feeling bad, I set out to do one thing that will help me get closer to my goal. Although it would be nice if I did something big, but, sometimes, just doing something small helps get me started. Many times, after I get started, I go on to get even more things done.

    One day last week, I woke up feeling extremely bad. My body hurt, so I knew there was no way I could do anything physical. This is when I went to my to-do list and found the simplest project to start. The simplest project I could find was researching for that week's blog. In just a short time, I had my blog almost completely written. On that day, I accomplished a lot more work, and I felt really good and no longer depressed at the end of the day.

Reading about Inspiration People

"In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves… self-discipline with all of them came first."

Harry T. Truman

    If we go into any bookstore, we will find one book after another by or about inspirational people. These people faced trials and pushed through to victory. We can read these books or listen to them on CD, so we can be inspired to face our own trials. There are also people around us that we can associate with and watch how they handle the stress of trials. Some of the steps that people take to face their trials are the same. Many of these people work hard and trust in God, so we need to do the same.

    It is funny how I usually go through what I write about each week. This week was a real trial for me. During the weekend, I had a horrible migraine, but, because our weekend was so busy, I had to push myself and pray for healing. Due to the fact that I was able to push through, Brenton rewarded me by taking me to dinner. Why did I push through my weekend? Brenton is my own personal inspiration, and I watch him on a daily bases get through trials. It's not easy to face tough situations, but, when I do get through them, I am able to tell others my own experiences.

    The Bible is the greatest book that anyone can read. It is full of men and women that went through trials and became victorious in their lives. If you are feeling bad about your situation, read about Ruth and Naomi who lost everything. When you have made a mistake, read about David and how he repented. As we go through trials in our church, we need to read Paul's letters to the churches. Every situation we go through can be found somewhere in the Bible.

Surrounding Oneself with Friends

"True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is life on a desert island… to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing."

Baltasa Gracian

    Of course, I have mentioned that Brenton is my best friend. What most people don't realize is friendship started our relationship in the first place. On our first date, I realized that he was so much more than a cute boy. He and I would have long conversations. This is why we were able to have a strong long distance relationship (he lived an hour away). We would talk on the phone for hours.

    Friends come in and out of my life all the time, but there are a few close friends that I will hang onto forever. These friends inspire me and allow me to lean on them through tough times. Brenton showed me true friendship and love when my mom pasted away four years ago. He encouraged me and helped me get back on my feet. Even when I was unable to cook, he took over the cooking responsibility. This is saying a lot, because Brenton never really cared or knew how to cook. He learned to cook for me.

Weekly Challenge

    This week, I want us all to find joy even in the midst of our trials. There are positive events in our lives, but, sometimes, we are so focused on the negative events that we miss out on the positive ones. Seeing the good and bad, or negative and positive, in our lives is all perception. We choose to see the good or the bad. If we focus on positive aspects of life, we will experience a more positive life. On the other hand, if we look only at the negative, we will experience a more negative life. My prayer is that we will all choose a positive life, so we can have joy whether we experience trials or not.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

II Timothy 1:7

Mentoring Blog

"And when Moses saw that people were unruly and unrestrained (for Aaron had let them get out of control, so that they were a derision and object of shame among their enemies),"

Exodus 32:25

    Wow, what a scripture! Moses had gone to the mountain to get the Ten Commandments from God. Suddenly, God told Moses he needed to go back down and take care of the unruly people. The leadership, Aaron, had allowed the people to go crazy and worship idols and other gods. This enraged God, so it also enraged Moses.

    There are examples throughout history of bad leadership. Although everyone has the ability to lead, many do not have the training and practice to lead people. Those who lead people successfully study and practice leadership skills. As a leader in the church, it is important to study the Word, pray, and learn leadership skills. If we are leaders in business, we need to know business skills as well.

    Every leader has to go through a period of being a follower, first. When they learn their job well as a follower (subordinate), they are able to lead people and teach people in their field. As a minister, it is extremely important to work with a mentor to become a great minister. Eventually, the minister will become good enough that they can mentor someone else. This is how churches grow spiritually and establish a large membership.

    To become great mentors, we need to understand the parable of the sower (Matthew 13:18-23):

"Listen then to the [meaning of the] parable of the sower:

While anyone is hearing the Word of the kingdom and does not grasp and comprehend it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the roadside.

As for what was sown on thin (rocky) soil, this is he who hears the Word and at once welcomes and accepts it with joy;

Yet it has no real root in him, but is temporary (inconstant, lasts but a little while); and when affliction or trouble or persecution comes on account of the Word, at once he is caused to stumble [he is repelled and begins to distrust and desert Him Whom we ought to trust and obey] and he falls away.

As for what was sown among thorns, this is he who hears the Word, but the cares of the world and the pleasure and delight and glamour and deceitfulness of riches choke and suffocate the Word, and it yields no fruit.

As for what was sown on good soil, this is he who hears the Word and grasps and comprehends it; he indeed bears fruit and yields in one case a hundred times as much as was sown, in another sixty times as much, and in another thirty."

Matthew 13:18-23

    There are several reasons why seed is sown on bad soil. One reason that the seed does not land on good soil is lack of Biblical principles. When we do not base our lessons on the Bible, the people we mentor can be led astray by the enemy. The Bible is truth, so we have to mentor people in the Bible's truth. If we do not use the Bible, the seed can land on the roadside.

    The second reason that the seed can land on bad soil is our attitude when we mentor others. If we have a bad attitude, we hurt the people we mentor and stunt their growth in whatever area they are being taught. Many times, people are turned off from church, because people who they admire hurt them. It is important to humbly lead other, and mentor others without an arrogant attitude. This happens in the church, because, sometimes, we forget that we have been a young Christain and need to gently help others grow spiritually. Criticism is a big problem in mentorship. We need to remember that we do not want others to criticize us, so we don't need to criticize others.

    The third reason that the seed lands on bad soil is the lack of commitment on the mentor's part. As a mentor, we need to commit to helping others. If someone needs us, we need to find a way to help them. It is important to remember the benefits of helping others. There are times when we may not feel like helping others, but helping others will also help us grow. When we teach others, it helps reinforce the information for us.

    The fourth reason that the seed lands on bad soil is the lack of confidence. If the mentor is not confident in his/her abilities, we are not able to instill confidence in others. Confidence is not hard to increase in our lives, but it takes a lot of work. When we are trying to increase our confidence, we need to read God's Word and write down everything God says about us. How does God feel about us? He created us and sent His Son to die for us. This means we are very valuable to Him. As we get this truth in our heart, we will see our confidence grow.

    The fifth reason that the seed lands on bad soil is pride. As my sister-in-law, Teadran, said in our Woman's Bible Study, sometimes, we are afraid that the person we mentor will become better than us. This is a prideful spirit that can ruin any mentoring opportunities. Mentorship can make us feel very vulnerable, because we must be honest about our lives. This includes honesty about our mistakes. Some of us do not want to admit weaknesses, so we back off from mentoring others.

Biblical Mentoring Examples

    There are two famous examples of mentoring that I love to read. First, there is the story of Elijah and Elisha, and then there is the story of Paul and Timothy. Each of these examples shows amazing journeys that the mentor took with another. This is what we need to do. Find someone who we can take on our journey and train them to do the same.

"So Elijah went from there and found Elisha son of Shaphat. He was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen, and he himself was driving the twelfth pair. Elijah went up to him and threw his cloak around him."

I Kings 19:19

    This is an amazing scene, because Elijah was giving Elisha cloak and inviting him to join him on his adventure. Between the times that Elijah selected Elisha and the time Elijah was taken up to heaven, the pair went on a journey that developed Elisha into a prophet. Elisha knew what to do and how he wanted to live, because he witnessed God using Elijah to help the people of Israel. He wanted his own journey, so he was ready to sacrifice everything to get the double portion.

"When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha, "Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?"

"Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit," Elisha replied.

"You have asked a difficult thing," Elijah said, "Yet if you see me when I am taken from you, it will be yours- otherwise, it will not."

As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind. Elisha saw this and cried out, "My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!" And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his garment and tore it in two.

Elisha en picked up Elijah's cloak that had fallen from him and went back and stood on the bank of the Jordan. He took the cloak that had fallen from Elijah and struck the water with it. "Where now is the Lord, the God of Elijah?" he asked. When he struck the water, it divided to the right and to the left, and he crossed over."

II Kings 2:9-14

    Elijah gave Elisha instructions on how to get a double portion of his anointing. Due to Elisha's obedience, he was able to go on and serve as a prophet without Elijah. This is how we need to mentor. When the mentoring is over, the other person should be able to serve without us looking over their shoulder. In many circumstances, the student becomes better than the teacher and eventually does more.

I Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the command of God our Savior and of Christ Jesus our hope,

To Timothy my true son in the faith:

Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.

As I urged you when I went into Macedonia, stay there in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach false doctrines any longer or to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies. Such things promote controversial speculations rather than advancing God's work- which is by faith. The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.

I Timothy 1:1-5

"Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, in keeping with the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus, To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord."

II Timothy 1:1-2

    The letters to Timothy were Paul mentoring and instructing Timothy. He knew Timothy was young and wanted to give him the instruction he needed to preach the gospel. Timothy had potential, so Paul decided to develop that potential and use it for the kingdom of God. Paul thought of Timothy as a spiritual son.

Challenge for the week:

    The first thing we need to do is learn from a mentor. That way we can grow from someone more experience than us. Once we are able to grow on our own, we can help others grow. It is a cycle that can be repeated over and over.

    Some other things that we need to remember about mentoring is that it will require us to give others the materials they need. There are books and other materials that will help reinforce what you are trying to teach. My husband, Brenton, has given tons of books away. He gets some of his books in a box, and gives the whole box of books away.

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Winston Churchill

 

Weariness Blog

"And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint."

Galatians 6:9

    This scripture has uplifted me the last couple of weeks. In the last two weeks, my husband and I have painted a big part of our home and rearranged the furniture. It is hard work and made us feel tired, but it was a job that we needed to do. Both Brenton and I also have responsibilities besides renovating our home. Brenton has a job and has commitments he has to fulfill at our church. During the day, I homeschool our two older children, work on developing Bible studies, and write this blog.

    With all that said, we get tired and weary, but, during these times, we turn to God and He gives us the energy and rest we need to carry on. This week I didn't know if I would get everything completed, but little by little I have completed each task. In the morning, I wake up ready to start my day and get more things done. A couple of years ago, I would not have the same positive outlook. Actually, I would have gone to bed depressed and not completed anything.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."

II Timothy 1:7

    God gives us the power we need to make it through difficult situations. As I painted my home the last two weeks, I had to discipline myself and work through the pain. This gave me a sense of accomplishment when it was done. If we are tired and feel worn out, we can become refreshed in His Presence. As I got tired, I would begin to sing songs of praises or pray quietly. Sometimes, I would stop, go get my Bible, and read God's Word. This gave me peace and strength to continue painting.

    For most people, this is nothing new. We all know that to find peace and strength and the courage to go on, we need to lean on God. Yet, there are times our lives seem so out of control. At those times, we look for the strength within ourselves instead of going straight to God for the answer. This self-reliance just frustrates us more and brings less peace than before.

    This week's blog is short due to all the work that has gone into painting and rearranging my home, but it was a lesson that I learned during all the painting. It is a lesson I want us all to think about. This week's challenge is to find peace in stressful or tiring circumstances. If there is no peace, then we need to ask God to give us peace. It is amazing what God will do when we seek Him.

"But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.

So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble."

II Timothy 1:7

Influential Blog

"Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth.

But avoid all empty (vain, useless idle) talk, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness."

II Timothy 2:15, 16

    As a Christian, I have a responsibility to lead others to God. When we study and are in God's presence each day, we can introduce others to Christ. On the other hand, we will lead people into ungodliness if we do not work on our own relationship with God. Many people become bitter about the church, because the church members were rude and did not become Christ's example to the world.

    My desire as a leader is to lead others into a relationship with God. This means that it is my responsibility to study the Word of God and practice spending time in His presence every day. If I do this, my witness is a lot more effective and I am more influential. It also helps if my words to give life and not death. When we have spent time with God, we speak God's Word into our lives and lives of others.

"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste (its strength, its quality), how can its saltness be restored? It is not good for anything any longer but to be thrown out and trodden underfoot by men.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.

Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a peck measure, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all in the house.

Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

Matthew 5:13-16

    From my studies, I have found the key to influence through God. There are four characteristics that we must possess to influence others. These four characteristics are courage, wisdom, faithfulness, and obedience. As we work on our relationship with God through daily devotions, we build these characteristics in our lives. If we have these characteristics, then we are more effective as a witness for God and the benefits of a relationship with Him.

    The way I learned about these character traits was through the Word of God. There are four women who illustrated these character traits that I admire. These women loved God and were used to influence others to follow and obey God. Their names are Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Esther. Each of them lived righteously and became leaders whose stories were included in the Bible.

 

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose]."

Proverbs 27:17

Deborah

"And she sent and called Barak son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, Has not the Lord, the God of Israel, commanded [you], Go, gather your men at Mount Tabor, taking 10,000 men from the tribes of Naphtali and Zebulun?

And I will draw out Sisera, the general of Jabin's army, to meet you at the river of Kishon with his chariots and his multitude, and I will deliver him into your hand?

And Barak said to her, If you will go with me, then I will go; but if you will not go with me, I will not go.

And she said, I will surely go with you; neverthe less, the trip you take will not be for your glory, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose and went with Barak to Kadesh.

Judges 4:6-9

    Deborah was a woman who lived in an era when men dominated. Although we feel like it is the same today, we have a lot more privileges and opportunities for women to lead and influence others. In the time that Deborah lived, it was very unusual for a woman to lead, and it was even more unusual for a woman to lead an army. Actually, she not only led the army, but the leaders of the army demanded that she go with them into battle.

    Deborah did not even hesitate to join them to the battle. She knew God would see them through and win their battle. It took courage for her to walk into battle with the Israelite army. This is what gave Deborah her influence. People listened to her, because she looked at difficulties and moved forward anyway. People trusted her, because they knew she would not run when something got too hard.

    This is the way we need to live. Sometimes, we feel like dropping everything and running from a bad situation. Unfortunately, this only makes our problems worse. We need to see the opportunity in our problems. Just like Deborah saw victory for Israel, we need to see victory for our own lives. It is like a pregnant woman who goes into labor. She faces pain and agony for a time, but, when it is all over, she holds a precious baby in their arms. If she does not go through the pain, she will not enjoy the reward afterwards. A pregnant woman must be brave as she awaits labor and the painful contractions.

Abigail

"The man's name was Nabal and his wife's name was Abigail; she was a woman of good understanding, and beautiful. But the man was rough and evil in his doings; he was a Calebite."

I Samuel 25:3

"When Abigail saw David, she hastened and lighted off the donkey, and fell before David on her face and did obeisance.

Kneeling at his feet she said, Upon me alone let this guild be, my lord. And let your handmaid, I pray you, speak in your presence, and hear the words of your handmaid.

And when the Lord has done to my lord according to all the good that He has promised concerning you and has made you ruler over Israel,

This shall be no staggering grief to you or cause for pangs of conscience to my lord, either that you have shed blood without cause or that my lord has avenged himself. And when the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then [earnestly] remember your handmaid."

I Samuel 25:23-24, 30-31

    Abigail was a woman of wisdom. She was nothing like her evil husband that did not help David. In I Samuel 25, we learn that Abigail rode out to meet David and fell down before David. She was pleading for mercy. As a woman of wisdom, she knew David could destroy her family. Her wisdom impressed David, so he did not hurt any of her family.

"And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, Who sent you this day to meet me

And blessed be your discretion and advice, and blessed be you who have kept me today from bloodguiltiness and from avenging myself with my own hand.

For as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has prevented me from hurting you, if you had not hurried and come to meet me, surely by morning there would not have been left so much as one male to Nabal."

I Samuel 25:32-34

    David heard her words and was influenced by them. Her wisdom was admirable and courageous. She gave David advice that made him stop and think about his decision. When he thought about the consequences of his actions, he decided to put an end to his revenge. Not long after Abigail convinced David not to take revenge on Nabal and their family, God struck Nabal dead (vs. 38). After Nabal died, David took Abigail as his wife (vs. 40-42).

    When people know us as wise and of good understanding, we are able to lead them through our influence. As we study God's Word, we gain the wisdom of God and grow in understanding. If we are wise through God's Word, we make good decisions that impress others. During times of trials, people want to follow someone who is prosperous and makes the right decision.

Ruth

"Then they wept aloud again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law [good-bye], but Ruth clung to her.

And Naomi said, See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.

And Ruth said, Urge me not to leave you or to turn back from following you; for where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God my God.

Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts me from you.

When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said no more."

Ruth 1:14-18

"Then Naomi her mother-n-law said to Ruth, My daughter, shall I not seek rest or a home for you, that you may prosper?"

And he said, Blessed be you of the Lord, my daughter. For you have made this last loving-kindness greater than the former, for you have not gone after young men, whether poor or rich.

And now, my daughter, fear not. I will do for you all you require, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of strength (worth, bravery, capability).

Also he said, Bring the mantle you are wearing and hold it. So [Ruth] held it, and he measured out six measures of barley and laid it on her. And she went into the town."

Ruth 3:1, 10-11, 15

"Also Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, I have bout to be my wife to restore the name of the dead to his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brethren and from the gate of his birthplace. You are witnesses this day."

Ruth 4:10

    Ruth was faithful to her mother-in-law. She went wherever her mother-in-law went. This meant that she did not go back to her own people, but, instead, she went to a foreign land and served her mother-in-law's God. Because of her faithfulness, God blessed her with new possibilities. When she reached Boaz's field, she had nothing and needed to provide for her and her mother-in-law.

    During this time, Naomi gave Ruth orders to go and lie down by Boaz's feet. Everything Naomi told Ruth, she did without questioning her. Naomi's instructions led to Ruth influencing Boaz, and she became his wife. This led Ruth to become part of the ancestry of Jesus Christ. Even though Ruth was not an Israelite, she has her own book in the Bible. Why? Her faithfulness to her mother-in-law and eventually to God gave her favor in His sight.

    We are also required to show faithfulness to God and to his people. Even when we don't know why God is asking us to do something, we need to obey. If you don't know how to hear God's voice, start by reading His Word. His Word is communication between God and men. Sometimes, we might find ourselves drawn to a particular scripture. At this point, we need to read and meditate on the scripture. Usually, God will show us through the scripture how to obey Him.

Esther

"[Mordecai] also gave him a copy of the decree to destroy them, that was given out in Shushan, that he might show it to Esther, explain it to her, and charge her to go to the king, make supplication to him, and plead with him for the lives of her people."

Esther 4:8

"And when the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, she obtained favor in his sight, and he held out to [her] the golden scepter that was in his hand. So Esther drew near and touched the tip of the scepter.

Then the king said to her, What will you have, Queen Ester? What is your request? It shall be give you, even to the half of the kingdom.

And Ester said, If it seems good to the king, let the king and Haman come this day to the dinner that I have prepared for the king.

Then the king said, Cause Haman to come quickly, that what Esther has said may be done.

    So the king and Haman – came to the dinner that Esther had prepared.    

And during the serving of wine, the king said to Esther, What is your petition? It shall be granted you. And what is your request? Even to the half of the kingdom, it shall be performed.

Then Esther said, My petition and my request is: If I have found favor in the sight of the king and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and to perform my request, let the king and Haman come tomorrow to the dinner that I shall prepare them; and I will do tomorrow as the king has said.

Haman went away that day joyful and elated in heart. But when he saw Mordecai at the king's gate refusing to stand up or show fear before him, he was filled with wrath against Mordecai."

Esther 5:2-9

"So the king and Haman came to dine with Esther the queen.

And the king said again to Esther on the second day when wine was being served, What is your petition, Queen Esther? It shall be granted. And what is your request? Even to the half of the kingdom, it shall be performed.

Then Queen Ester said, If I have found favor in your sight, O king and if it pleases the king, let my life be given me at my petition and my people at my request.

For we are sold, I and my people, to be destroyed, slain, and wiped out of existence! But if we had been sold for bondmen and bondwomen, I would have held my tongue, for out affliction is not to be compared with the bondage this will do to the king.

Then King Ahasuerus said to Queen Esther, Who s he, and where is he who dares presume in his heart to do that?

And Ester said, An adversary and an enemy, even this wicked Haman. Then Haman was afraid before the king and queen.

So they hanged Haman on the gallows that he had prepared for Mordecai. Then the king's wrath was pacified."

Esther 7:1-6, 10

    Esther was appointed to a position that allowed her to help save her people. Yet, she did not have to obey God. Coming before the king without permission was very dangerous, but she risked her life and asked the king and Haman to eat dinner with her. When they did, she asked if they could come the next night and eat dinner with her again. She was wise and used respect and honor toward the king to influence him. It was also God who she influenced with her obedience. When she obeyed, God gave her favor with the king.

    By the time Queen Ester told the king about Haman's evil plan to get rid of her and her people, she was favored and received a positive answer. Haman was immediately hung on the gallows that Haman had built for Mordecai. After Haman died, Mordecai was placed over the house of Haman. Esther also asked the king to reverse the orders that Haman had set up against the Jews. This was all done, because Esther obeyed and did as God and Mordecai asked.

    If we have problems in our lives and are low on influence, we need to look at our obedience. Do we honor God with our lives and do what His Word says? It is important to honestly answer this question. When we see disobedience in our life, then we need to immediately ask for forgiveness and start obeying God. Even if we have disobedience in our lives, doesn't mean there is no hope. God can change our lives through His Word, but only if we are willing to let Him change us.

The Challenge of the Week

"You have delivered me from the strivings of the people; You made me the head of the nations; a people I had not known served me.

As soon as they heard of me, they obeyed me; foreigners submitted themselves cringingly and yielded feigned obedience to me."

Psalm 18: 43-44

    This week we need to understand the importance of influence. As Christians, we need to influence others, so they can start and develop their relationship with God. If we are not courageous, wise, faithful, and obedient, we will have a hard time influencing any one, especially if we are witnessing to people around us.

    Sometimes, we may need to ask God how to influence others through courage, wisdom, faithfulness, and obedience. God will help us to live a life of influence and gain favor in the eyes of men. These character traits all come from time with God. Our time with God, as I have said before, comes from meditating on God's Word and praying. God has given us the ability to speak the Word to our problems and rely on Him completely.

    As we study God's Word and pray, we will develop the same character traits seen in Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Queen Esther. They are developed over time, so we must patiently wait and get closer to God. God has a plan for our lives, just as He had a plan for Deborah, Abigail, Ruth, and Queen Esther. Every day, we need to work on our relationship with God and practicing these four character traits.

Leadership Blog

There was a time when I didn't think that I was leadership material. Now, after a lot of study and maturity, I realize that we each have a responsibility as a leader. This does not mean everybody will lead thousands, but it does mean that there will be people in our lives that we need to lead. It could be our families, a Sunday school class, or a group of people at work. Either way, we need to learn to lead them, so that they can also grow into strong leaders.

    We usually associate great leadership skills with natural born leaders. This is not true! Leaders come through studying and working on leadership skills every day. Many times, the people who become the greatest leaders are not considered talented. They just simply decide to work on their leadership skills, because they have nothing to lose. If natural born leaders do not work on their leadership skills on a daily basis, then they will not grow and mature into great leaders.

    Lately, I have dedicated a lot of my time to studying leadership skills. This is an area that I believe is important to my teaching and writing career. Leadership is a part of Brenton and my ministry, so we work on developing the skills. Through this study of leadership, I have found that there are certain skills every leader needs to work on. These skills are becoming uncompromisingly righteous, tending the flock of God, learning to skillfully lead others, keeping up our strength, and becoming a servant like Christ.

Become Uncompromisingly Righteous

"When the [uncompromisingly] righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when the wicked man rules, the people groan and sigh."

Proverbs 29:2

    The first step to leadership development is to work on our relationship with Christ. It is easy to get discouraged when we are not in the Word and having daily devotions. If we discipline ourselves, we can have daily devotions that will mature and grow us. Daily devotions also help us build our relationship with God. In our relationship with God, we receive everything to successfully lead others.

    Sometimes, daily devotions can seem time consuming and tedious. If we start off trying to do too much, we will get overwhelmed and end up quitting our devotions each day. On the other hand, if we start off small and slow, we can build up and lengthen our devotions over time. It is all about working on our devotions each day. The most important part of devotions is our heart. When we make it all about God and building our relationship with Him, devotions are more effective and we see amazing results.

    For years, I dealt with depression and anxiety. After making a commitment to getting up in the morning to spend time with God, I found that I was more and more joyful and have not suffered from depression. This is because in God's presence we receive everything we need. My confidence in Christ has strengthened. He longs for us to spend time with Him, and He makes the commitment to devotions worth our while. This is especially true when we become leaders and witnesses to those around us.

Tend the Flock of God

"Tend (nurture, guard, guide, and fold) the flock of God that is [your responsibility], not by coercion or constraint, but willingly; not dishonorably motivated by the advantages and profits [belonging to the office] but eagerly and cheerfully;"

I Peter 5:2

    Once we become Christians and start our devotions, it is time to learn our leadership skills. These leadership skills will be use to help others inside and outside the church. This leadership comes in many forms. First, we can lead people by helping them receive their necessities. There are many people who desperately need basic necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter. Just giving them these basic necessities can help lead them and encourage them to become better.

    Second, we need to teach them the Word of God. There are times that we need to teach them the Word one-on-one. If they have a question, we need to make ourselves available. Other times, we need to teach a Bible class, which can be a small or large class. Some people may not want to teach small classes, but there are times where it is necessary. Smaller classes can lead to larger classes as we grow in God and His Word.

    Third, we need to willingly listen to others. There was a time when I didn't pay enough attention to others. If someone had a problem, I would turn around and walk away. Sometimes, I would think they just needed to get over their problems and get on with their life. Now, I am a lot tenderer, because I started to ask God to show me people through His eyes. When someone is going through problems, I first pray and then I listen and comfort.

Learn to Skillfully Lead Others

"I indeed baptize you in (with) water because of repentance [that is, because of your changing your minds for the better, heartily amending your ways, with abhorrence of your past sins]. But He Who is coming after me is mightier than I, Whose sandals I am not worthy or fit to take off or carry; He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire."

Matthew 3:11

    John the Baptist was talking about Jesus. Jesus was the greatest leader of all times. We need to follow Christ's example and effectively lead. There are certain principles that Christ taught us through His Word. These principles are choosing the right followers, teaching the followers, be influential, and commissioning our followers. As a perfect leader, Jesus shares His secrets in the gospels, so that we can also become great leaders.

Choosing the Right Followers

"Now these are the names of the twelve apostles (special messengers): first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James son of Zebedee, and John his brother;

Philip and Bartholomew [Nathaniel]; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James son of Alphaeus, and Thaddaeus [Judas, not Iscariot];

Simon the Cananaean, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed Him."

Matthew 10:2-4

    When Christ picked His disciples, he picked men with different talents and with from different backgrounds. Each disciple brought different skills to Christ's ministry. As Christian leaders, we need to appreciate each of our follower's talents and what they bring to our ministries. If we try to change others, we will not benefit from their uniqueness. The point of leadership is to help followers to develop their own gifts while they grow and mature, so they can become leaders themselves. After awhile, they will find someone to lead, which is exactly what happened to Christ and His disciples. When Christ ascended into Heaven, His disciples continued His ministry and lead many other men and women to Christ.

Teaching the Followers

"And He went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and preaching the good news (Gospel) of the kingdom, and healing every disease and every weakness and infirmity among the people."

Matthew 4:23

    Christ led others by teaching them. He not only taught His disciples, but He also taught the crowds that followed Him. This gave His followers all the information they needed to lead Christian lives. He went from town to town teaching everyone about the kingdom of Heaven. We also need to teach our followers, so they can learn, grow, and mature emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Be Influential

"The woman said to Him, I know that Messiah is coming, He Who is called the Christ (the Anointed One); and when He arrives, He will tell us everything we need to know and make it clear to us.

Jesus said to her, I Who now speak with you am He.

Then the woman left her water jar and went away to the town. And she began telling the people,"

John 4:25-26, 28

    When people would meet Christ, they were compelled to listen to His message. Even if they were out to entrap Him, they always stopped and listened to Christ's words. This was due to His ability to influence others. The woman at the well was not only compelled to sit and listen to Him talk, but she also ran to town telling everyone about the man she had met at the well. Everyone came to hear Christ and what He had to say. We need to influence others through our words, too. It doesn't mean we try to manipulate people to do what we want them to do. Instead, we need to use God Word and influence people through the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will give us the words to use, and we also need to speak the Word over people's lives.

Commission our Followers

"Jesus approached and, breaking the silence, said to them, All authority (all power of rule) in heaven and on earth has been given to Me.

Go then and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

Teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you, and behold, I am with you all the days (perpetually, uniformly, and on every occasion), to the [very] close and consummation of the age. Amen (So let it be)."

Matthew 28:18-20

    Although Jesus had spent several years training His disciples, He still had one last thing He needed to do. In Matthew 28:18-20, He had called His disciples together to give them their assignments. He commissioned them to make disciples of all nations, baptize them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teach them to observe everything that that He commanded. If Jesus had not taught His disciples, this commission would be pointless. At this point, all of Christ's work was completed and the disciples work was just about to begin.

    We need to do the same thing as leaders. Once we teach our followers, we then need to give them instruction, so they are not guessing what they are to do. A leader who is teaching others to work in the kid's ministry needs to instruct the ministers concerning their responsibilities. When the children's ministers teach their class, they won't have to guess what they need to do. They will be ready to minister and take their responsibilities seriously.

Keep Up Our Strength

"And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint."

Galatians 6:9

    Another part of leadership is not losing heart and growing weary. We need to do good and stay focused on growing spiritually, so we can reap the benefits. When we do good and are obedient, we are able to accomplish a lot more. Although I read the Bible and prayed throughout the day, God put it on my heart to get up early in the morning, so I can spend time with God and not be disturbed. My whole day is more peaceful and productive when I start my day with God, but it also keeps me strong and rested.

    Now, as we become strong and rested, we need to teach others how not to grow weary in doing good. This is usually pretty easy once we have learned this lesson ourselves, because we have become an example.

Become a Servant like Christ

"Not so shall it be among you; but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant."

Matthew 20:26

    Christ went from being royalty and his throne to being a servant. He gave up His own desires to rescue us from sin. Although he could have anything He wanted, he took a simple life to show the way to salvation. This is the way we need to live. As leaders, we need to serve those who we lead and not make ourselves seem better than them. Those who successfully lead others make themselves equal with their followers. Not only do we need to compassionately lead others, but also seek to understand their circumstances and hardships. Instead of putting them down because they make mistakes, we need to share with them how God has brought us out of sin and helps us find forgiveness for our sins.

Challenge for the week:

    This week we need to look at our leadership style. We need to make sure that we are leading as Christ leads us. If we are not leading according to the Bible, we need to start reading through the gospels and learn about Jesus and how He led His disciples. These scriptures will help us lead our followers more effectively.

    As we learn to lead, we will notice that our followers will also begin to lead. They will learn by our example. This is a great feeling, because now your leadership is increasing. Those that you have taught to lead will also teach others to lead. Many leaders become great due to this process. We are all able to become great leaders, but it takes daily preparation and planning. Of course, the most important part of leadership is building a relationship with God. A relationship with God is built through daily devotions, praise and worship.

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Additions Resources

• All scriptures were taken from the amplified Bible.
• If you like the skills of a leader also read The teal Trust @ http://www.teal.org.uk/dl/jesus.htm

Selfishness Blog

"As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision."

Helen Keller

    We all were born selfish and needy. As we get older, we believe these selfish tendencies go away by themselves. Unfortunately, many of us continue our selfish ways, which causes us to struggle through our lives. Some of us do grow out of selfishness through the help of our parents and the Word of God. If we struggle with selfishness as adults, we can still mature and learn to lessen our selfishness. This takes the Word of God and a lot of hard work, but it is all worth the effort. Learning to live unselfish lives is more peaceful and productive.

    Here is my confession: I am a selfish adult that is working on living an unselfish life. When did I discover that I was selfish? Well, when I had children, of course. Suddenly, I realized that my children and I were locked in power struggles. They wouldn't give in and I wouldn't give in, so the battle between us would rage. It has become less of a struggle in the last few years, because I decided to work on my selfishness. When I started working on my selfishness and let go of the power struggles, my children became easier to work with and less selfish.

    There are five ways that I found to defeat selfishness. These five steps are having the same attitude, purpose, and mind of Christ, checking personal motives and denying oneself, loving others, and giving to the poor. This may sound easy, but it takes prayer and commitment to apply each of these steps. Every time I catch myself with a selfish attitude, I must go straight to God and repent. Next, I go to His Word and read the selfishness scriptures that go with each step above.

Throughout this blog, I will give a scripture that pertains to each step. At the end of the blog, I will create a master list of selfishness scriptures, which can be used to combat any selfishness. It is vital to study the Word and spend time in prayer. Without the Word and Prayer, we struggle and have no fruits of the Spirit in our lives. Getting rid of selfishness will allow the fruits of the Spirit to actively live within us.

1. Have the same attitude, purpose, and mind of Christ.

   "Do nothing from factional motives [through contentiousness, strife, selfishness, or for unworthy ends] or prompted by conceit and empty arrogance. Instead, in true spirit of humility (lowliness of mind) let each regard the others as better than and superior to himself [thinking more highly of one another than you do of yourselves.

   Let each of you esteem and look upon and be concerned for not [merely] his own interests, but also each for the interests of others.

   Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:]

   Who, although being essentially one with God and in the form of God [possessing the fullness of the attributes which make God God], did not think this equality with God was a thing to be eagerly grasped or retained,

   But stripped Himself [of all privileges and rightful dignity], so as to assume the guise of a servant (slave), in that he became like men and was born a human being."

   Philippians 2:3-7

       Christ came to earth by taking off His crown and laying down His royalty. He did all this for His lost people who were disobedient and selfish. In the past, I asked why He would do such a thing. It didn't make sense to me that Christ would humble Himself for children who were so imperfect, but then I became a mother and understood. As a mom, I would give my life for my children who are disobedient at times, and God is even more perfect and loving than me.

       With this said, we need to work on developing Christ's characteristics. The same attitudes that Christ modeled here on earth, we also need to possess. Christ had a positive, faith-filled attitude that was patient and kind to those He talked to, healed, and disciplined. Even when the Pharisees were trying to entrap Him, He always gave an answer to their questions with a humble attitude. When Judas betrayed Him, He simply told Him to do what He needed to do.

       Christ came to earth with purpose. He would not give up until His purpose was completed. We all have a God-given purpose that we need to fulfill. When we serve Christ, we are on a mission that we either accept or do not accept. It is our choice, but, when we accept our mission, our lives are filled with excitement and a joy that cannot be expressed.

       Right now, as I write this blog, I am so excited and joyful. There is excitement and joy in my life, because I am working on God's purpose for my life. Before I started studying the Word, writing my blog, and working on my book, I was unfulfilled and miserable. Now, I am less selfish, because I know that God has a special plan for my life.

       Developing a mind of Christ occurs through His Word. When we study His Word, it dwells within us, so we can use His word in any situation in our lives. One day, my two year old, Andy, decided to have a series of mad fits that were accompanied by screaming. This was a very hot day and we were out of town, so I could not take him home. Finally, it was time to go home, so I went to put him in his car seat, which did not make him happy. Any parent knows that putting a screaming two year old in a car seat can become a challenge. Suddenly, after saying a prayer, I said, "In the name of Jesus you will calm down and stop screaming." Next, I started quoting part of II Timothy 1:7: "…but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control." Immediately, Andy calmed down and looked at me with peace and contentment. That is the power of the Word!!!

2. Check personal motives and deny oneself.

"And Jesus called [to Him] the throng with His disciples and said to them, If anyone intends to come after Me, let him deny himself [forget, ignore, disown, lose sight of Himself and his own interests] and take up his cross, and [joining Me as a disciple and siding with My party] follow with Me [continually, cleaving steadfastly to Me].

Mark 8:34

There are times when we do things, but we are not blessed or rewarded for them. This is due to our motives. When we do things for others, we must deny ourselves and do it with selfless motives. If we help others with the right motives, we are helping God. God is pleased when we help Him here on earth.

"Then the King will say to those at His right hand, Come, you blessed of My Father [you favored of God and appointed to eternal salvation], inherit (receive as your own) the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you brought Me together with yourselves and welcomed and entertained and lodged Me,

I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you visited Me with help and ministering care, I was in prison and you came to see Me.

Then the just and upright will answer Him, Lord, when did we see you hungry and gave You food, or thirsty and gave You something to drink?

And when did we see You a stranger and welcomed and entertained You, or naked and clothed You?

And when did we see You sick or in prison and came to visit You?

And the King will reply to them, Truly I tell you, in so far as you did it for one of the least [in the estimation of men] of these My brethren, you did it for Me."

Matthew 25:34-40

This is all the motive we need. If we do things for others as if they are Christ, then we will always have the right motive. Christ will be pleased with us when we do everything for Him. He will not be pleased if we do everything for ourselves. What I want more than anything else: to please God, so I can have a peaceful and productive life. With God on my side, I cannot go wrong.

1. Loving others.

"Let each one of us make it a practice to please (make happy) his neighbor for his true welfare, to edify him (to strengthen him and build him up spiritually."

Romans 15:2

When we love others, we are less selfish. It is hard to act selfishly when we care about the other person. Last week, my children went to summer kid's camp in Plano, TX. Each kid went to a class at different times, so the other kid got to pick where they wanted to go while they waited for their class to start. During this time, we went to my favorite mall. Although there were certain shops that I enjoy more than others, I went where my kids wanted to go. Why would I deny myself this pleasure? My children are important to me and I love them, so it is vital that I show them my love by favoring them.

This is also important when we deal with acquaintances and strangers. These people need us to show them the love of Christ. If someone needs someone to talk to, we need to willingly give them our time. Others need encouragement, so we need take the time to inspire them through words or gifts. Everything we do needs to show our love for God and man.

My husband, Brenton, is one of the most caring people I know. When he sees someone in need, he drops everything and helps them. This is due to the love he has for them. Many people admire and respect him, because of his love and kindness. We met eighteen years ago, and it was his love for others and sense of humor that attracted me to him. He always went out of his way to make each person he met feel important.

1. Giving to the poor.

    

   "He who gives to the poor will not want, but he who hides his eyes [from their want] will have many a curse."

   Proverbs 28:27

       One way to combat selfishness is to give to the poor. When we give to the poor, we help ourselves conquer selfishness. It is hard to act selfishly when we are helping someone else. This is especially true when the person has a great need. As we said in the section about checking our motives, helping others also pleases God.

       In my life, I have a lot of friends and family that give with eagerness. They are always finding people to give to or helping out their own family. These people are truly blessed. When I say they are blessed, I don't just mean blessed through their finances. My friends and family that give are blessed with the fruits of the Spirit. God has given them everything they need to succeed, because they help others to succeed.

       On the other hand, I know people who do not give freely to others. They usually are miserable people, and are constantly trying to make themselves happy with money and material things. These things do not make them happy, so they end up grouchy and alone. God is not pleased with this kind of behavior, so, as Christians, we need to work on changing our selfish attitude to a more giving attitude.

   Challenge of the Week

    

   "But if anyone has this world's goods (resources for sustaining life) and sees his brother and fellow believer in need, yet closes his heart of compassion against him, how can the love of God live and remain in him?

    

   Little children, let us not love [merely] in theory or in speech but in truth [in practice and in sincerity)."

   I John 3:17, 18

    

       This week we need to examine our own actions and motives. If there is any selfishness in us, we need to use the Word of God and start to live as Christ lived. This will change our lives and create a success that we did not even know was possible. God needs people to give themselves unselfishly, so that they can be an example of Christ to the world.

    

   "Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."

   Martin Luther King, Jr.

   Selfishness Scriptures

   Proverbs 28:27

   Mark 8:34

   Romans 12:10

   Romans 15:2

   I Corinthians 9:19

   I Corinthians 10:24

   I Corinthians 10:33

   II Corinthians 5:15

   Galatians 6:2

   Philippians 2:3-7

   I Timothy 5:6

   I John 3:17, 18

    

   *All Bible verses are from The Everyday Life Bible.

The Peace Blog

"For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you."

Isaiah 54:10

There are times when my life seems chaotic and out of control. This is when I know peace is missing. In the past, I didn't know that I could pursue and find peace. At this time, I would not only have a lack of peace for myself, but my home, family, and work would all feel chaotic. Longing to find peace, I started to work on finding peace for every area of my life, and, now, I am able to live peacefully on a more regular basis.

Peace is important in our lives, so that we can live healthy, happy lives. When we have peace in our lives, we are able to complete tasks quicker and with a more positive attitude. It is also valuable, because, most of the time, we are not peaceful due to dwelling in the past. The moment peace shows up, we find ourselves with the ability to let go of past mistakes and wrongs. This is why I know that peace gives us freedom from negative emotions. Negative emotions and peace cannot cohabitate, so allowing peace to rule our lives is the key to eliminating depression, anxiety, and other negative emotions.

Since I was a young teenager, I struggled with depression and anxiety, but I am now free due to the peace that I have found. Does that mean that depression and anxiety doesn't try to creep back into my life? Of course they do, but I now know how to combat them and regain my freedom. There are some steps that I take to regain this peaceful freedom. These steps include praying, reading, studying, and meditating on God's Word, having a positive attitude, cleaning up physical and emotional messes, and singing or listening to praise and worship.

Praying

"I will listen [with expectancy] to what God the Lord will say, for He will speak peace to His people, to His saints (those who are in right standing with Him) - but let them not turn again to [self-confident] folly.

Mercy and loving-kindness and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

Truth shall spring up from the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven."

Psalm 85:8, 10, 11

Praying is sometimes the last thing we try. When we are not peaceful, we will try everything else before prayer. There are times when we try shopping to bring us peace, but we usually end up feeling worse after we have spent the money. Other times, we try eating extremely fatting foods, but this definitely leaves us feeling horrible about ourselves and doesn't bring us peace.

If I have problems and I pray, I receive the peace that I need to carry on. When I pray, I always start with praise and worship. This helps me align my thoughts with God, and it helps me understand that He is in charge and the only one who can give me peace. Next, I give Him the situation and leave it in His hands. Finally, I end with thanks, which helps me to get in the mind-set that the problem is resolved and I am at peace. Every time I feel the peace to dwindle, I begin to thank God for His peace.

Reading, Studying, and Meditating on God's Word

"Acquaint now yourself with Him [agree with God and show yourself to be conformed to His will] and be at peace; by that [you shall prosper and great] good shall come to you."

Job 22:21

The second way to get peace back into our lives is by reading, studying, and meditating on God's Word. Reading God's Word helps us learn to live in the Spirit. When we live in the Spirit we produce His fruit, which includes peace. The Bible is packed full of scriptures that relate to peace. We need to check out the following scriptures about peace and read them when we need more peace in our lives:

Job 22:21

Psalm 85:8, 10, 11

Proverbs 16:7

Isaiah 26:3

Isaiah 54:10

Isaiah 58:8

John 14:27

Philippians 4:7

II Thessalonians 3:16

Hebrews 12:14

Studying the Word of God is a little different than reading. When we read the Word of God, we may read maybe once or twice. To study, we concentrate on each scripture and learn it, so we can apply it to our lives. One way of studying is to write a scripture on an index card or piece of paper, and reading it every time we have our devotions or do not feel peaceful.

Meditating on the Word is an intimate way to study the scripture. When we meditate on God's scripture, we think about the scripture until it is deep in our hearts and minds. Through meditation, we can get questions answered and a peace that calms every storm. For me, meditation has taken time to learn. Every time I try to meditate on the Word, I have to work on focusing my mind on the scripture and not my circumstances. Although I am learning how to meditate, I still do not meditate on God's Word like I should. Practice makes perfect, so we should be patient with ourselves and do our best.

Having a Positive Attitude

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]"

    John 14:27    

If we constantly dwell on negative thoughts, our whole attitude will be negative. When we have negative attitudes, we are more likely to worry about our circumstances. God has given us everything we need to succeed. This is why we need to change our negative attitudes to positive attitudes. Our attitudes can allow us to enjoy life and not be affected by the world.

Having a positive attitude is one of the most difficult steps for me. Every little inconsistency in my life can cause me to get irritated, so I have to watch that I immediately deal with that irritation and get rid of the negative attitude. The best way for me to deal with my negative attitude is to stop and give the negative attitude to God, and ask Him to show me what is causing me to have this attitude.

A lot of times, my negative attitude is stemming from fear, negative thoughts, or low confidence. When God shows me what is causing my attitude, I ask God to take away the negativity and replace it with love. If I follow through with this process, I find peace that calms my fears, changes my negative thoughts to positive, and gives me a confidence in who I am through Christ. Suddenly, my attitude changes and I am able to show love to others and to myself.

Cleaning Up Physical and Emotional Messes

"And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:7

When I don't feel good or my house is messy, it is more difficult to feel at peace. The last couple of weeks, I have worked on organizing and cleaning my home. This helped my house feel peaceful, so my family and friends could enjoy the house and each other.

Of course, cleaning up emotional messes is even more important to a peaceful life. It is extremely important to forgive anyone who has offended us, so that it does not leave us bitter. When we forgive others, peace can be restored to us. Other negative emotions that we need to get rid of are hate, impatience, depression, anxiety, and selfishness.

Some may wonder why I included selfishness, but I included it from personal experience. The emotion that robs me of peace is selfishness. We usually associate selfishness with children, but adults are just as selfish as children. There are times where I catch myself getting upset, because I didn't get my own way. Every time I start feeling selfish and restless, I give it to God and allow Him to change me.

Singing or Listening to Praise and Worship

"Let us therefore, receiving a kingdom that is firm and stable and cannot be shaken, offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship, with modesty and pious care and godly fear and awe;"

Hebrews 12:28

Praise and worship is a powerful way to bring peace into our lives. When I sing praise and worship, I feel a peace that stops the chaos. If I am unable to sing, I put on a CD and listen to praise and worship. Sometimes, when we are in the car and my kids are unsettled, I put on praise and worship. Each time I put on the praise and worship, the kids calm down and I feel at peace.

Some Sunday mornings, I may not feel like going to church, but, after the praise and worship starts, I feel the peace and my body no longer hurts. In God's peace there is joy and healing. It is important that I do not leave praise and worship at church. Singing and listening to praise and worship throughout the week is vital to peaceful life.

This Week's Challenge

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you."

John 14:27

When we find peace, we are more joyful and healthier. Peace can help calm anxiety and ease depression. This is why our challenge for this week is to pursue peace. We can pursue peace by praying, reading, studying, and meditating on the Word of God, having a positive attitude, cleaning up physical and emotional messes, and singing or listening praise and worship.

For additional information on some of these topics, please check out the following links:

Studying the Word

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/04/studying-the-word.html

Thoughts

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/thoughts.html

Positive New Language

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/01/positive-new-language.html

Forgiveness

http://mymondaymaptosuccess.typepad.com/my-monday-map-to-success/2012/02/forgiveness.html

    

Frustration Blog

There are times in my life when I have struggled with frustration. It is when I feel like nothing in my life is going right. The optimal word is feels. Sometimes, I may feel like everything is going wrong, but it is not as bad as my feelings would have me to believe. These moments are depressive and lonely. In these moments, everything seems like it's coming unraveled.

    Many times, these moments of frustration come right after I complete a successful journey. It is a time of lull, and I become emotional over everything that happens. My mood is down and my family suffers, because I am less likely to control my temper. Before I started on my personal development journey, I would give into my anger and scream at who ever ticked me off. This included my husband, Brenton, and my children.

    This all occurred before I found ways to deal with frustration. Once I understood frustration and learned how to control the frustration, I was happier more often. My life use to stay in frustration mode, but, now, I am more likely to have good days with no frustration. This makes not only me happy, but it creates a peace in my home and makes my family happy.

    To deal with frustration, I have created my own steps that help me through frustration. These steps are getting into God's presence, helping someone else, finding purpose, and taking a break. When I apply these steps, it helps me to get through frustrating moments. Each step is vital to getting through frustration and getting in a better mood. The better mood is not only for my sake, but also for everyone who has to live with me.

1. Getting into God's Presence

   By this we shall come to know (perceive, recognize, and understand) that we are of the Truth, and can reassure (quiet, conciliate, and pacify) our hearts in His presence,

    

   Whenever our hearts in [tormenting] self-accusation make us feel guilty and condemn us [For we are in God's hands.] For He is above and greater than our consciences (our hearts), and He knows (perceives and understands) everything [nothing is hidden from Him].

   I John 3:19, 20

       To truly get into the presence of God, there are three things we need to do daily. First, we need to praise and worship Him. In praise and worship, we get our spirits lined up with His Spirit. Praise and worship can be done through singing, dancing, writing, and declaring God's wonders. As long as we are singing, dancing, writing, and declaring God's wonder with a humble heart, we will enjoy his presence. A humble heart means we know God gets all the glory and not us.

   Next, to get into God's presence, we need to pray. Prayer helps build our relationship with God. This doesn't mean we just talk continuously to God without a break. We find it annoying when others preoccupy the conversation. Conversations are two-sided. If we want to have a conversation with God, we need to pray and meditate on God and His greatness. If you focus on God and not our daily schedule or what is happening in the future, we will experience God's presence.

   Finally, the Bible is God's Word and our travel guide through life. It is necessary for us not only to read the Bible, but study and apply the Word of God to our life. Without the Bible, we do not know God's instructions and can become even more frustrated. If we will study thoroughly the Word of God, it will show us how to live victoriously and stop frustration before it pulls us down.

2. Helping Someone Else

   And we are now writing these things to you so that our joy [in seeing you included] may be full [and your joy may be completed].

   I John 1:4

    

   If we feel frustrated with our situation, we need to turn our attention to someone else and help them with a problem. This gets our mind off of our own situation, and it gives us the satisfaction of helping others. There is a reward of joy that helps us through difficult moments. Writing is one of the ways I try to help others.

   As we watch others grow and get through problems, it can also give us new ideas to help with our own problems. Recently, I helped a friend with one of her college classes. During this time, I found ways to effectively study for my own graduate class. Now, I am able to get my work done more efficiently and study less with better results.

   My mother-n-law, Karen Belknap, always helps others. At first, I didn't understand why she was so eager to help others. Now, I understand that it brings her joy, especially when the other person succeeds. If we help others, their success is accredited to us as well. It is a great feeling to know that you have gone through a problem with someone else, which can help build a relationship with that person. In addition, when you have a problem, they are more eager to help you out. It is a great way to build relationships with others.

3. Finding our Purpose

    

   "Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."

   John F. Kennedy

    

       To get our focus away from whatever is frustrating us, we need to work on something that is important to us. As long as our focus is not what is frustrating us, we will get energy from working on finding and fulfilling our purpose. When I am frustrated, I write, work on my Bible Studies, or read one of my favorite books. This helps get me back to feeling better about my life and gets me closer to success.

       For example, I am taking a summer graduate class. When I take summer classes, I find it more difficult, because the rest of the family is ready for summer fun. They don't appreciate staying in the house while I study. There are times when I have to stop working on my class work and do something else. Sometimes, especially during these summer classes, I get out of the house with my family and have fun. Other times, I just switch my focus to something I like to do, such as working on my blog. Well, that is what I'm doing right now. My assignment is due this next Monday, so I am trying to get my paper done. Unfortunately, I was getting frustrated and had to switch to my blog, which is important to me and makes me feel fulfilled and successful.

4. Taking a Break

"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop."

Ovid

Of course, there are times when we can't even work on our purpose. These are the times that we need to stop working and start resting. Many times, we become frustrated due to exhaustion, so we need to lie down and take a nap or do something that doesn't take as much energy. After we rest, most likely, we are able to get a lot more work done. Sometimes, pushing ourselves to complete a project when we are exhausted is counterintuitive.

At these times, I try to take a nap, which is hard when you have children. They love to burst through the door when I have just fallen asleep. This is when I decide to either take them to grandma's house or lock my door. No, this does not always work, but this is when I find other relaxing activities like reading a book or watching my favorite shows. After a long day, I love to curl up next to my husband, Brenton, or one of my children and watch a movie. Many times, I fall asleep and get the rest I want as the kids are preoccupied by the movie.

Challenge for the Week

This week we need to figure out what is frustrating us. If we are frustrated, our lives are not as productive. When we work on finding ways to eliminate our frustration before it even begins, we can live each day with more joy. It also means that, even if we are not frustrated at any time this week, we need to work on preparing ourselves by practicing God's presence, helping other people, finding our purpose, and eliminating exhaustion even before we get to the point of frustration. Practice acting as if you cannot fail, because God has a plan for your life and He will see it through to completion.

"All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail."

Dorothea Brande

The Busy Blog

    Any more, I feel like my life never stops. As a wife and mother of three, I feel like I go from one activity to another. Although I wouldn't want it any other way, I do get tired and worn out from time to time. Each day starts with planning and breakfast, and it usually includes housework, homework, writing, errands, changing diapers, answering questions, making phone calls, answering email, cleaning up messes, running the children to their special activities, offering support to a physically or emotionally hurt child, making dinner, planning for the next day, and etc. Of course, it also includes lunch and dinner, because no one wants me to skip a meal.

    Does this sound familiar? For most parents, this is exactly what they go through. Some parents have full-time jobs and care for their families. Even singles have busy lives that never seem to quit. Every day is a new adventure, and, in our ever changing technological world, we feel that stopping will put us too far behind. Families are also feeling pulled in different directions. Parents have their list of activities, and the kids have their own list of activities. Many times, families see very little of each other through the week, and then they plan special outings away from each other on the weekend.

    Families are frustrated and stressed. There was a time that Brenton and I lived separately. He went to work and stayed late, and I would go home after work and take care of our young daughter. This was hard on our relationship, and we got to the point where we needed change. If we didn't change, we were headed for divorce. When we started realizing our problem, we decided to spend our time together by cutting down on our work hours. Many of our outside activities had to go, too. Now, we spend more hours together than apart, even though Brenton goes to work Monday through Friday.

    We still live extremely active lives, and we are always on the go. Yet, this time it is primarily done as a family. After school and work, we eat dinner together and on weekends we have special fun together. My children are active and want to continuously get out of the house, but there are times that Brenton and I have to say "no." Although they may be disappointed, most of the time they end up having fun at home and get the rest they need. Of course, that is the whole point of staying home. As parents, we know that our children, as well as us, need time to stop, rest, and spend time as a family. It doesn't mean do nothing, but we have fun quiet time with each other.

    There are a lot of activities that we like to do as a family. Some of them are energetic activities that are full of excitement and fun. Other activities are quiet and more relaxing. Whatever activities we choose, it is never dull and always special time for everyone involved. The one thing that we try to do is limit technology at these times. When we watch television or watch a movie, we are not actually engaged with each other. Engaging activities are focused on the family and building relationships. There are families we know that spend all the family time either in front of the television or at the movie theater. These families suffer, because they aren't getting to know each other better.

    In a previous paragraph, I mentioned singles, and, although my examples are from my family with two parents, three kids, and a nana, it can apply to any type of family. We live in a world where families are extremely diverse. There are some singles that live with roommates or their parents, and there are single parents and blended families that need to build relationships, too. If we are too busy to build relationships, we could lose the relationships we already have and struggle to develop new relationships.

    When we are always busy, we also get worn down and can become sick. There are times when I never have time to stop. This weekend is a great example of getting overly tired. My family and I went to a special event and got home after midnight. The next day, we got to church at 8:30 for music practice. Last night, I helped a friend with schoolwork and my husband, Brenton, with some typing. This morning I got to bed at 1:15 am. At noon, I started to get a headache, so I decided to lie down for an hour. Although the nap did not last long (my children don't like me to nap), it still helped me to feel more rested and ready to do my work.

    Tonight, I will get to bed earlier, so I can get up feeling refreshed and ready to get my work done. There was a time when I get upset with myself, because I struggle to get projects completed. Now, I know it is important to give myself a break when I get little sleep. At these times, I get done what I can, but, the rest of the time, I try to get the rest I need.

    There is a specific reason this week's blog is short and late. As I said, I spent time with my family, and I also took some time to get rest I needed after the long weekend. The time I spent with my family was priceless, and, now, I can get back to working on my projects.

Challenge for the week:

    For this week, I challenge everyone to slow down for at least a day. Take time with family and friends, and take time to rest. Of course, it is important to get work done, but it is just as important to build relationships and get our bodies rejuvenated. The work will be there when we get back.

My Big Projects

Big Projects

"That some achieve success, is proof that others can achieve it as well."

Abraham Lincoln

Big projects can be daunting. Sometimes, projects can be abandoned, because they get too overwhelming. There are ways to overcome fear in the midst of big projects and become successful. For big projects, I create steps for completing big projects, know that it is okay if I make mistakes, find creative ways to work on projects, enlist help on complex projects, and learn to study and ask questions that get me closer to project success. When I put these steps into action, I am able to conquer all my tough projects.

Creating Steps

A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carelessly planned project takes only twice as long."

Unknown

Recently, I have found a new method of completing projects. When I start a project, I divide it into steps. Sometimes, a step can take five minutes. Other steps can take several hours, days, months, and years. If I can do the smaller steps first, then I can work my way up until the whole project is completed. Even house cleaning is easier when I do it this way.

Sometimes, projects can be overwhelming, so writing out steps is a way to break it down and get the project done without stressing. When I am taking a class for graduate school, I take the assignments and break them down into chunks. For instance, a big graduate paper can be broken into research, writing on the different aspects of the topic, and editing the paper. Sometimes, I divide questions that I need to answer. In my last class, I had to answer fifty questions, which can be difficult when taking care of three children, writing blogs, teaching Bible studies, and managing a home. Every day, I would work on at least five questions. There were times when I would write on more questions, but, if I didn't get more than five questions completed, it was okay.

Abandon Perfectionism

"Done is better than perfect."

Scott Allen

My workout plan is the same way. It used to frustrate me when I couldn't get in an hour of walking each day. Now, I do what I can, and don't stress over what I don't get done. Today, as I got through thirty minutes of my workout, I decided I was too tired to continue. Instead of continuing and getting over exhausted, I went half the time and went on with my day. Most of the time, I would have pushed myself on, but I was tired from the day before and I had a lot of work to get done.

There was a time that I would get upset with myself if I didn't get a project completely done. If I didn't get hours of work done, I would get irritated and depressed. This is less of an issue, now, because I see each step as a success. It also helps that I understand that mistakes are part of the learning process. Not every project will be done in a day, and not every project will be perfect.

In the past, I would wait for everything to work out perfectly before I started a project. Usually there is no such thing as a perfect time. There are usually interruptions that threaten the project. Waiting for perfection is death to every project. A few years ago, I lost my mom, and it made me realize that I was wasting my time. No one is assured tomorrow, so I needed to get busy and pursue my purpose and build my relationships without a perfectionist's attitude.

Get Creative

"Creativity comes from looking for the unexpected and stepping outside your own experience."

Masaru Ibuka

Another way to get big projects completed is to get creative. If I have to research for an article, I use colorful notebooks or pens. This helps to break the monotony. When it is time to clean the house, I bring in candles and decorations that will inspire me to clean. No one wants new candles or decorations in a dirty house. There are times, I put on music and dance around the house as I dust.

Setting up a reward system for myself is another great way to motivate me. If I have a graduate project due, I set up a reward before I start studying. This way I look forward to receiving my reward, so I continually work until the project is completed and I have my reward in hand. Although expensive rewards are okay from time to time, it is better on the finances if I set up small inexpensive rewards. These rewards are things that are important to me and will get me to finish the project as soon as possible.

Enlist Help

"Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."

Voltaire

There are some projects that need extra help. This is when I ask someone else to help me. There are several people that I know will help me with projects. These people are willing to give of their time, and they never put me down because I need extra help. As my children get older, they are more and more willing to help me out. Of course, some of them are limited by their age, but they do what they can and are learning how to do more as they grow older. For instance, my daughter is almost thirteen, so she is able to do more than her younger brother, Danny. Danny is seven and can do more than his two year brother, so I give them jobs according to their ages.

My husband, Brenton, is amazing when it comes to helping with my projects. This isn't just getting the project done, but also giving me moral support. When I have a block and unable to continue my project, he lends me an ear and allows me to talk about my emotions and what is blocking my success. My Aunt Ellen and sister-in-law, Teadran, helps me by watching my children when I need to get a big project done. This happened this spring when I was working on a graduate project, but needed time without any distractions. The kids love it, because they get to go to their Aunt T's house.

Study and Ask Questions

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

Confucius

Another important part of completing projects is studying and asking questions. Sometimes, we don't complete projects, because we are scared to ask questions. It is important to ask questions, so that we can learn more about the project subject. There was a time in my life where I didn't want to ask questions, because I didn't want people to think I didn't know something. As I look back on that time, I know it is because I didn't want them to think I was stupid. Well, I am not perfect, and I have to ask questions to get smarter. It is vital that I expand my knowledge through questions, and it doesn't bother me if people think I am stupid. Everybody has to ask questions, because no one is born with all the right answers.

When I was in high school, studying was so boring, and I couldn't wait until the big breaks like summer vacation. Now, I love to study and learn new things. My love for learning started when I started dating Brenton. He knew tons of facts, but he wanted to learn more. This was puzzling to me. His love for learning rubbed off on me, and I started to research and study even when I wasn't taking a college class. Learning facts is a lot of fun and come in handy when playing trivia with Brenton (although, I still haven't beaten him at trivia, but I will continue to try). Taking graduate classes help me gain more knowledge through research.

As I learned to study for school, I realized that I also needed to study for various projects like organizing my home, raising my children, and writing a blog. For instance, when I wanted to learn more about cooking, I got books and studied them. These books included recipe books and books about different cooking techniques. Book stores have books on a multiple of subjects, so it doesn't take much time to find studying resources. The internet is also a great tool for learning how to do projects. Many stores, such as home improvement stores, have classes that teach certain decorating and remodeling skills. There is no excuse for not completing projects, because the ability to learn is at our finger tips.

Conclusion

"Well done is better than well said."

Benjamin Franklin

Projects don't have to control me, because I have the ability to control them. Each day, I try to use the steps above and get closer to completing a project. For years, I have worked on decluttering my house. Although, I am not completely done, I know that I am closer now than I was three years ago. Another project that I want to complete is my book that I have started. These steps will be applied to my book project, so I can complete my book and get it published.

This Weeks Challenge

"Accept the challenge so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory."

George S. Patton

My challenge this week is to write down a project that I want to complete. This project will be one that I have struggled to get started or is half finished. Once I know what project I want to complete, I will write down all the steps I need to complete. As I work through this project, I will continually remind myself that I am not perfect, and that mistakes are a part of the process. It will also be my goal to find creative ways to work through this project, so that it does not get boring and mundane. Of course, I will also enlist the help of my friends and family. They will help me when I get stuck or need a little extra help. Finally, I will study the project subject and ask plenty of questions, because there is no such thing as a stupid question.

 

The Inside Out Blog

"If you have an hour, will you not improve that hour, instead of idling it away."

Lord Chesterfield

There are times that I get frustrated with my physical appearance. There are times that I don't look good in my clothes, because I have gained extra weight. There are also times when I am not physically up to doing my hair or putting on makeup, so I put my hair up and I neglect the makeup. In my life, I have faced quite a few moments such as these. What I am talking about is feeling bad about my outward appearance, which many women I know face on a daily basis.

Women want to look beautiful, but more important they want to feel beautiful. Many times, they may look beautiful to others, but feel like an ugly duckling to themselves. They stress over their beauty and waste valuable time obsessing over their weight, clothes, hair, and makeup. It is a frustration that can consume every moment and create depression. Unfortunately, many of the television programs or movies they watch don't help them. In the end, a lot of women feel ugly and useless.

The key to looking and feeling beautiful is working from the inside out. This is a process that can change our whole life. In the last few years, it has helped me to stop wasting my time on unimportant issues. Sure, I like to look beautiful, but I realized that most the time I do look beautiful. It is all in my own perception. To really start working on the inside we need to stop focusing on our outward appearance, deal with our negative emotional issues, create a personal life plan, and do our best. Once we take these steps, we are able to feel good about ourselves without the stress of obsessing over things we can't or don't need to change.

Stop Focusing on our Outward Appearance

"What we achieve inwardly will change reality."

Plutarch

Instead of focusing on what is on the outside, we need to focus on our inward appearance. It is my opinion that there are physically attractive people that are ugly. When I meet someone that is rude and obnoxious, I find that they become very unattractive. This is true whether they are physically beautiful or not.

Character and mindset is an important part of our inward appearance. When we are negative and not open to learning and growing, we do not have an attractive inward appearance. It is vital to work on our values and beliefs. When we value ourselves and others, we are working on what is really important. This maturity is vital for true inward beauty.

When I was in my late twenties, I obsessed over my outward appearance. By the time I was twenty-six, I wore a size 6 and bought clothes I couldn't afford on credit. At this time, I was working out one to two hours a day and taking hours to get ready. In addition, I worked full time and ended up not having a whole lot of time for my two year old daughter, Snow. It is a good thing that this didn't last long. Not only did I become physically and emotionally fatigued due to lack of food and rigorous exercise, but my relationships were in need of repair.

This was when I hit rock bottom, and I knew I needed to change. At this time, I began to work on my character and inward values. Instead of obsessing over my outward beauty, I decided to change my inward beauty. From this point on my confidence grew, and my relationships began to heal. Even my relationship with my daughter is beyond what I ever thought possible. We are close, because we are both working on perfecting ourselves from the inside out. Now, I have a beautiful twelve year old (she keeps reminding me that she will be thirteen in August) daughter, and she grows in beauty daily on the inside as well as the outside. Why? Because her true outward beauty is a reflection on what is inward.

Deal with our Negative emotional Issues

"Let's not be narrow, nasty, and negative."

T.S. Eliot

The above incidence when I was twenty-six is an example of negative emotional issues. Many women carry scares that they try to hide by working on their outward beauty. They don't want to work on the negative emotional issues, because they are too painful and would mean they admit imperfection. Women tend to work excessively on perfection, and they don't want anything to obstruct their image of perfection.

Working on negative emotional issues is one of the most important parts of developing inward beauty. Hurts can make success impossible to achieve. When people hurt they usually hurt other people. This means that relationships and contacts at work can be damaged. If people can't get over their emotional pain, they usually get angry and show that anger outwardly.

For years, I wanted a writing and public speaking career, but, due to the emotional scares, I was unable to learn and grow. Most of my failure was due to inactivity. In fact, I saw myself as a failure, so I never even tried. Lately, I have realized that I am able to do anything with hard work and perseverance. This includes writing, public speaking, receiving a college degree, and taking the GRE.

The GRE is a graduate exam, which is required by many universities to start on masters or doctoral degrees. Fortunately, up to this point, I have attended colleges that didn't require GRE scores. It doesn't matter to me, though. In two years, I will graduate with my master's degree, and I intend on working toward my doctorate. Although there are doctoral programs that don't require the GRE, I want to have my options open, so I need to have high GRE scores. Why do I bring the GRE up when I am talking about negative emotional issues? This is because I am dealing with negative emotional issues that stopped me from taking the GRE. Now, I will do everything I can to prepare for the exam and take the exam. If I don't get high scores the first time, I will take it until I do receive high scores.

Create a Personal Life Plan

"It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan."

Eleanor Roosevelt

It is vital that our minds are focused on fulfilling our purpose and goals in life, so we are not obsessed with our outward appearance. This is why a personal life plan is so important. When I started working on a personal life plan for my future, I was able to do what I could for my outward appearance and spend the rest of my time on my personal life plan.

There are certain jobs that require a certain type of clothing and appearance. This is where a personal life plan can help us decide what we need to wear and how we need to act, and, because it is already written in our personal life plan, we don't have to spend hours deciding what to wear and how to look each morning. Planning is the key to inward beauty and success.

Questions to ask when developing a personal life plan:

1. What work do you do that you enjoy? (This is your purpose.)
2. What are your goals for fulfilling your purpose? (List specific goals and due dates.)
3. What education do you need to fulfill your purpose? How much education are you willing to pursue?
4. How hard are you willing to work for your goals?
5. How do you need to dress for your purpose? (Your purpose will become your career.)
6. Do you have a schedule for working on your goals daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly? (If you don't have a schedule, work on one, now. There are many articles and books that explain creating a schedule, so take advantage of these great resources.)

Now that we have each answered the above questions, we have the starting of our personal life plan. We can expand on this life plan, so it includes more than just our purpose, goals, education, and clothing. In my personal life plan, I have written vacations I want to take and my dream home. First, we start with the most important parts of our life like purpose (career), relationships, and our education. Once we have the important parts of your life planned, we can develop a plan for the vacations to tropical islands and fast sports cars. This is called prioritizing, and it is important to know what you value and place each part of your life in order of importance.

This is an example of my priorities:

• Relationships: My family is extremely important to me. This family first includes my husband, three children, and my Aunt Ellen who lives with us. Next, I live extremely close to my husband's family. They supported and helped me out after my mother passed away. My sister-in-law, Teadran, is one of my closest friends. She is always there to help out with my children and adjust my back when I am in pain (she's an amazing chiropractor).
• Purpose (career): This is important to me, because I need to stop wandering through life and focus on what makes me happy. Writing personal development blogs, articles, and books is what makes me feel fulfilled. It is also important for me to teach personal development through public speaking.
• Education: At this time, I only have my bachelor degree. In two years, I will graduate with my Masters. After I graduate with my masters, I will work on my doctoral degree. Outside of college, I read books and take non-accredited classes that will teach me different aspects of personal development.

Do Our Best

"A problem is a chance for you to do your best."

Duke Ellington

The most important part of success is never giving up and doing our best. Sometimes it feels like our best isn't good enough. When we try our hardest, our best increases little by little. After awhile, we will realize that our best is more than enough. This is because we are working from the inside out. As we focus on the inward problems, the outward problems begin to disappear, too.

When I first started writing, I didn't get very good feedback and my college papers were returned with a lot of red marks. As I practiced and started writing what was on my heart, I began to improve and receive more positive feedback. Now, my papers don't come back from my professors with as many red marks. This is due to the fact that I did my best and kept working until I improved.

Lately, I have realized that it is more important for me to complement my children on doing their best. At first, I told them how smart and talented they were, but they respond to my requests and are happier when I complement their hard work. My oldest, Snow, has begun to do chores even when I don't ask. It is a joy to see her enjoy work, learning from her work and mistakes, and pursuing her purpose with all her might.

Challenge for the Week

This week we need to work from the inward out. Instead of focusing on our outward appearance, we need to look inwardly and pursue our purpose. This can be done by not focusing on outward appearance, dealing with negative emotional issues, creating a personal life plan, and doing our best. We need to remember that what matters in life comes from within us. As we prioritize and plan for our life, we are more able to work hard and create the life we want.

When my mom died, I knew that I wanted to make the rest of my life count. In the past, I focused so much on my outward appearance, but, now, I know what is really important. Following my dreams of becoming a writer and public speaker are important, and pursuing this dream is important to my family. If I can show my family that they can succeed with hard-work, then they will pursue their dreams and become successful. Even though I miss my mom, I know she is proud of the success I have achieved in my life. Right after she died, I completed my college degree and continued on to graduate school. My mom always supported me and told me how proud she was of my accomplishments. That pride that my mom instilled within me shines through.

"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind them."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Education

"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself."

John Dewey

Education is extremely important to me, now. When I was in my teens and early twenties, I didn't understand the importance of education. As soon as I graduated from high school, I went straight to work. At the age of twenty, I met Brenton who encouraged me to go to college. When I started my journey in higher education, I realized that I had not done my best in school and wasted a lot of years of my life. Unfortunately, I still didn't understand education completely, so I wasted many years in and out of college.

One thing that I learned about education is that it does not always occur in a college or university. Many times, students in college are not really receiving an education. They are simply getting through school, so they can get a diploma. After they take a class, the information is gone. There are other students who get to their graduation day and realize that they are not interested in pursuing a career in the field that they studied in school and want a different line of work.

Education can occur in a classroom, but most of the time education is learned outside the classroom. When I realized that I needed to pursue education, I started reading books and taking classes when I was not in a college classroom. This helped me realized what kind of degree and career I wanted, and showed me the purpose of my life. In my case, the purpose for my life is teaching personal development. This revelation showed me that I needed to take human behavior, psychology, counseling, and communication classes. It also helped to take writing and public speaking classes, because my passion is to teach others personal development through speaking and writing.

My question as an undergraduate was, "What do I need to do to educate myself?" There are several steps that I took to pursue my education. These steps are to discover my purpose in education, decide what steps I need to take to get an education, research my purpose and become an expert, take classes from a community college or seminar, work on my college skills, and never quit. Once I had these steps down, I was able to focus and complete each step of my education.

"Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom."

George Washington Carver

Discover my purpose in education.

"Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow."

Anthony J. D'Angelo

When I started college, I chose music as my major. As I completed my first two years of college, I decided that music was not for me. It was not something I was passionate about. Instead, I decided to complete a business degree. It was perfect for me, because it consisted of human behavior and communication classes. These were apart of personal development, which was my passion.

When I went to a community college, I took classes in music. If I had taken a more wide variety of classes, I might have found my passion sooner. Of course, sometimes, it just takes time to find one's passion. If you are choosing a degree that you don't feel passionate about, continue to look until you find your passion.

Sometimes, education doesn't have anything to do with college. There are some people who become educated and create an extremely successful career. This means they use self-education and training to educate themselves. The point of education is to never stop growing and learning. Colleges are great educational tools, because they keep you accountable and give you a degree that can increase your income.

Decide what steps I need to take to get an education.

"Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and diligence."

Abigail Adams

What steps you take depends on what purpose you decide to pursue. If you decide to obtain a college degree, then it is important to find the right college and enroll in classes. Some purposes don't require a degree, but it is still important you study the subject. There are purposes that need college degrees and certifications, and in other purposes you need a doctorate degree.

When you have found your purpose, write down all the steps you can think of that will help you in your pursuit. Once you have written down all the steps, it is important to ask an expert if you have written down all the steps. They can tell you what you are missing from your list.

For instances, if you want a career as an educator, it is vital that you get at least a bachelors degree and a certification. There may be other requirements for a specialized teacher, so this is where the list of steps comes in handy. As you complete each step, cross it off the list or put a check mark next to the completed step. This will help increase your confidence as you continue through your list.

Research my purpose and become an expert.

"Education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don't know."

Anatole France

The most success and educated people have studied their subject until they are experts. This is important to anyone developing a successful career. For example, when someone decides they want to become a lawyer, they read and learn the laws and what it takes to have a career in law. It is better for a person to study and become an expert even before they take classes. There is a book written almost on every subject, so there is no excuse for lack of knowledge.

When I decided to pursue a career in personal development, I started reading every book on the subject. It was important for me to get all the information I could, so I could write blogs and teach others. Now I am getting my degree in human relations, which includes human behavior and communication classes. These classes are a part of personal development, and I use the information I receive from these classes to further my personal development career.

Take classes from a community college or seminars.

"Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere."

Chinese Proverb

It also might be beneficial to take classes from a community college or a seminar. When my husband, Brenton, wanted to pursue art, he went to a community college. He only paid $108.00 for a semester, and he learned about different aspects of art. Now, he uses that knowledge to create art and help our daughter with her art. There are also many community classes that are even cheaper than community college. Our older children, Snow and Danny, have participated in community classes, which were beneficial in keeping them entertained and educating them at the same time. One summer, Snow took a fashion designing class and Danny took a building class.

There are also different seminars or non-credited classes that are not as expensive as community college tuition. One time, I took a writing class that helped me to discover my passion for writing. It also showed me how to create essays, books, and business documents. This was a class I never will forget, because of the valuable information I received. It was online, so I never had to leave my home or my family.

Work on college skills.

"Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you have something to learn, and this will mean all of your life."

Henry L. Doherty

Writing Skills

It is important to know how to write. Most work in college is writing one paper after another. If you know how to write research papers, you can pass almost any class. This can be learned through books, college classes, community classes, or seminars. In the last twenty years, I have attended many writing seminars and classes. It has helped me to become a successful writer and college student.

Math Skills

Math skills are useful in everyday life. This is why it is important to continually perfect math skills. This is especially true if you decide to attend college. Math classes will be a necessity for undergraduate, and it is a necessity for some graduate classes. Although I am not a math genius, I do work on my math skills, so I can be successful in business math and personal finances.

Organizational Skills

There are some people that may moan when they read organization skills. It may not be something you are good at, but it is necessary to success in every area of life. This is a fact that I learned in college. When I was careless with my papers and didn't keep a notebook, I didn't do as well. Now, I always organize my graduate work, so I can be a successful student. Every year, I try to take an organizational class or read books that will help me organize my life.

Never quit!

My primary goal in life is to never give up. This is something I want to inspire others to do, too. If you give up, you will never reach your potential and never succeed in your life. For years, I wasted time giving up every time I could not do something perfect. Now, I know that even if something is not perfect I will succeed if I never give up.

My daughter, Snow, is a great example of a person who never gives up. When she starts to draw a picture, she sometimes messes up and has to throw the picture away. This does not mean she gives up. She literally sits and draws for hours trying to perfect her picture. There are some pictures that she works on for days or weeks (she does take breaks, though!), so she can get the picture just right. Rarely have I ever seen her abandon a picture idea altogether. She always gives each picture her all, and that is why her artwork is so amazing.

Our education should be the same as Snow's artwork. We need to constantly work on educating ourselves until we are experts. Once we are an expert in one area, we need to find another topic, so we can become an expert, again. This educational process is continuous, and it should never stop until we die. Of course, it is important to aim at living until you're a hundred, so you can learn almost everything.

Challenge:

This week's challenge is to become a lifelong self-educator. Do this by deciding what your purpose is and how to educate yourself in that purpose. After you have found your purpose and educated yourself, use your purpose to help others. The whole point of education is sharing it with others.

When I decided that I wanted to pursue personal development, I also wanted to teach others how to pursue personal development for themselves. In the last two years, I have started teaching classes, Bible studies, and writing blogs. At the moment, I am in the middle of writing a book and preparing for success seminars. Now, it is your turn to educate yourself and teach others.

"A human being is not attaining his full heights until he is educated."

Horace Mann

Facing Challenges

"This only use of an obstacle is to be overcome. All that an obstacle does with brave men is, not to frighten them, but to challenge them."

Woodrow Wilson

Like everyone else, I do not care for difficulties. They make me stressed and feel exhausted. It always seems like they go on forever. When people talk to me about their challenges, they are usually angry, frustrated, and crying. Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever had anyone tell me about their challenges with excitement.

    Although this is how I use to feel about challenges, I am now excited when I face a new challenge. They are part of life, and they make us grow. Sometimes, when I am not facing a challenge, I will go out and find a challenge to conquer. The feeling of accomplishment after getting through a difficult challenge is rewarding. After I have conquered a challenge, I am joyful and feel accomplished.

    Once I have celebrated an accomplishment, it is time to find another challenge. If I wait too long to start a new challenge, I become bored and unfulfilled. Starting a new challenge always helps me feel like I am living with purpose. If life is too easy, I don't learn anything. Challenges are the best learning experiences.

"Accept the challenges, so that you can feel exhilaration of victory."

George S. Patton

    Although some find it difficult to get through challenges, it is necessary to succeed in life. There are six ways that I deal with challenges in my life. These steps are be thankful for the challenge, make a positive response to challenges a habit, take responsibility for my life, turn challenges into opportunities, connect what I already know with the challenge, and continue to move forward.

After I started putting these steps into practice, I began to see my stress level and depression decrease. Now, I am less likely to grumble and complain when things become difficult. Of course, I am not perfect, so I still am working on these steps and my grumbling during challenges. It is an on-going process, but I am getting better with every challenge I face.

Be thankful for the challenge.

"Keep your eyes open to your mercies. The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life."

Robert Louis Stevenson

 

When I go through challenges, I am initially not thankful. This is especially true when I was younger. Every time I found myself going through hard times, I would start to panic and overreact. Of course, this made everything worse. When I got through the challenge, I would feel horrible, because, due to my overreaction, the challenge took longer for me to get through.

What I didn't understand is that thankfulness would have solved a lot of my problem. During a challenge, it is the attitude that makes all the difference. When I was thankful for the challenge and excited about what I would learn, the challenge was more insightful and easier to get through. On the other hand, if I went through a challenge with an attitude, I would stress throughout the challenge and feel horrible when it was over.

    There are still some challenges that are hard to feel thankful for, so I have to consciously make thankful statements to get through the challenge. This is where a gratitude journal comes in handy. Each day, it is important to write down everything that I am thankful for, and that includes all the challenges I am facing at the moment. It is also crucial to my success to write down what I have learned from other challenges and be grateful for those lessons.

"We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning."

Albert Barnes

Make a positive response to challenges a habit.

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kinds of thoughts we wish to dominate over our lives."

Henry David Thoreau

When I respond to a challenge, it is usually out of a habit that I have formed. Most of the time, I form habits without thinking. They are usually bad and negative habits. My negative response to challenges was a bad habit that I had to correct. Once I changed my response, I was able to habitually respond to challenges with a positive attitude.

Thinking negative thoughts about challenges became a habit. As I started to research personal development, I realized that my negative thoughts were the first thing that needed to go. Every time I start to think negatively about a situation, I simply stop myself and replace that thought with a positive one. This process did not happen overnight. It has taken a long time to think positively when facing challenges.

Once I learned to replace my negative thoughts with positive ones, I had to think those positive thoughts over and over, again. Now, I am able to quickly replace my negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This is because it has become a habit. The habit of thinking positively is a good habit, and I am proud of my ability to think positively through negative situations.

"Habits change into character."

Ovid

Take responsibility for my life.

"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes… and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility."

Eleanor Roosevelt

There was a time when I did not take responsibility for my life. At that time, I would blame everybody and everything else for my failures. For example, I didn't receive my college degree until I was thirty-five, because my teachers didn't teach me right or no one encouraged me enough. This thinking was incorrect, and, now, I understand that my success was in my hands.

It is now clear to me that my success in challenges is totally my responsibility. If I fail, I can blame no one but myself. This also includes my attitude through the situation. Like I always tell people, positive thinking and speaking are the two key ingredients to success. For me to succeed, I must use my words and thoughts responsibly. This is not my family, friends, or teachers responsibility, so I cannot blame others for my failures or attitudes.

Bad things happen to everyone. Sometimes there is nothing we can do about the bad thing that happens, but we have a choice to act appropriately in the situation. Our actions speak louder than words. There were times when I would throw a fit, because someone had spoken rudely to me. Although I could not change how they spoke to me, I can change how I speak back to them.

"The price of greatness is responsibility."

Winston Churchill

Turn challenges into opportunities.

"But we can turn challenges into opportunities if we look outwards to the realities of the global economy and modernize our internal institutions in ways that will equip Europe to meet that challenge and create confidence amongst the public."

John Hutton

As a child, I always loved a new challenge. There is a story I always tell my children that makes them laugh and illustrates turning challenges into opportunities. There were two huge trees in my front yard. They were great climbing trees. Every day, I would attempt to climb one of the trees. At first, I would simply fall out of the tree. This did not stop me at all. Once I got up and dusted myself off, I would turn around and climb back up the tree.

Each day, I would get farther and farther up the tree. The more I climbed the more I learned. Every time I would climb again, I would remember what I learned to do and not to do from the last time I climbed the trees. As I climbed up the tree, I remembered each spot for my hand and foot. This continuous tree climbing made me aware of the more dangerous spots, so I could slow down and take care as I passed by them. When I got to the top, I felt like a winner, but I was not done. Once that challenge was over, I was ready for a bigger challenge, so I went looking for more opportunities to succeed.

Now that I am grown up and no longer climb trees, I look for other opportunities to challenge me. The principle I used as a child to climb the tree, I now use as I face challenges as a woman, wife, mom, and writer. When I started writing, I struggled with fear that I would not live up to my own expectations. As I wrote my blogs and started writing my book, I used the fear of failure to propel me into action and do my best. The one thing I don't want to do is let myself down. Failure to me is simply not taking action. There are opportunities for me everywhere, but I need to take the opportunities and face all my challenges. In my opinion, taking challenges and changing them into opportunities is the definition of success.

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

Winston Churchill

Connect what I already know with the challenge.

"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself."

John Dewey

    What I have learned through my challenges, I write down, so I can use the information the next time I go through a similar challenge. All of my challenges and what I have learned are in journals that I love to go back and read. When I am frustrated with a situation, I write down my frustration and, when I find the solution, I go back and write down the answer. These journals are stored in a place that is easily accessible.

    Another way to get through a challenge is by research. When I go through a difficulty, I look up what I am going through and find others who have gone through the same thing. Once I have found someone who has successfully gone through the challenge, I study how they got through the challenge. Usually, I make the answer into steps that I can follow.

    When I go through a challenge, I also enjoy finding a friend that has gone through something similar and asking them to help me. They can give me pointers and help me with my plan to succeed. If I get sad or ready to give up, they can help me by encouraging me. Once I get through the challenge and celebrate my accomplishment, the friend can help me celebrate, too.

"Learning is not a product of schooling but the lifelong attempt to acquire it."

Albert Einstein

Continue to move forward.

"Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with power that is greater than ourselves to do it."

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The one thing that I believe gets me closer to success is always moving forward. If I stop, I may lose momentum and never get through each challenge. As long as I am moving forward, I am getting closer to succeeding in life. My college education is a great example of continuously moving forward. It has always been my dream to receive as much information as possible. For me, lifelong learning is not an option, because I have made a pact with myself to continuously learn for the rest of my life.

When I met my husband, Brenton, I was working and not attending college classes. He encouraged me to get a college education, so I took his advice and enrolled in a college class. Sometimes, I would take several classes and other times I would only take one. There were semesters that I didn't take any classes, but I would read certain books that kept me motivated or learning about business. After many years of taking classes off and on, I decided I had played around with my education enough. It only took me a year and a half from the time I decided to complete my degree to my graduation ceremony.

Now, I am applying the moving forward concept to my graduate degree. This is a story that I like to share with others, because it shows how moving forward can help each of us get through difficult times, reach our goals, and continue to succeed. Life will be full of challenges, but I know that I can learn and grow as I get through each one. In my life I've had numerous challenges, but I am a better person for getting through them.

"Determine never to be idle. No person will ever have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.

Thomas Jefferson

This week's challenge:

This week's challenge is to start looking at challenges as ways to grow and learn. When I am able to have a positive attitude toward each challenge, I am able to get through them faster and more confident. The six steps above guide me through my challenges, and they prepare me for the next challenge I will face. When I complete the six steps, I am in control of the challenge instead of the challenge in control of me.

"Reading makes a full man, meditation makes a profound man, discourse a clear man."

Benjamin Franklin

Personal Development

"Always bear in mind that our own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing."

Abraham Lincoln

Personal development is my passion. Since I graduated from high school, I have worked on my own personal development. Now, I try to take what I am learning and teach others. It is my desire to use my talents and help people succeed in their own life.

The most important lesson that I have learned is that if we do not progress we regress. There is no such thing as standing still. Many of us complain that we take a few steps forward and a couple of steps back. This is due to progressing in our personal development and then stopping the development process. When we make strides in our development, we sometimes become tired and need to rest. We just need to make sure we don't rest for too long.

Personal development is bettering ourselves in all areas of our lives. These personal development steps includes building our identity, specifying our values, creating a personal development plan, identifying our priorities and setting our goals, increasing our potential through education, accepting and learning from our mistakes, and celebrating our successes. These are on the top of my personal development list. Each one of these step leads to successful personal development.

Building our Identity

The first step to personal development is building our identity. When we know who we are, we are more likely to accept ourselves and succeed in every area of our life. Many times, we are told as children who we are, how we should act, and what we should do with our lives. There are some of us who conform to others wishes for us, but we don't realize who we are and what we can do.

It's okay for parents to correct their children, so they become effective citizens and develop values for their lives. On the other hand, it is not okay for parents to tell their children what type of personality they need to have and what career is right for them. We are born with our personalities, so trying to change ourselves would be futile and frustrating. The key to building our identity is to learn our personality style, desires, and talents.

There are several assessments that I have taken to discover my personality. To find personality assessments go to a search engine and type in personality assessment. Several will probably pop up, so we have several to choose from. It is vital to take more than one personality assessment, so we can get a broader perspective of our personality.

A great way to really understand how we relate to the people closest to us is by giving them the test. If we find it hard to relate to our spouses, giving them this test will help understand where there may be an area of conflict. This is also a good idea for parents, because we need to know if we are upset with our children or there just a personality conflict. Another good idea is to get friends to take a personality test, so conflicts can be avoided and friendships saved.

Specifying our Values

Values are a vital part of personal development. When we know our values, we can base our decisions on those values. This way we can feel good about the decisions we make, and we can feel like we stayed true our own beliefs and principles. When we do not specify our values, we can make unethical decisions that not only hurt others, but it can hurt our confidence and decision-making skills.

The first thing we need to do is understand the meaning of value. Value is what we consider important and is a compass that guides our decisions. It basically is what we consider excellent and good for our lives.

Here are some questions to ask when developing our values:

1. Do I have values that are important in my life?
2. What are those values?
3. What are other values that need to become a priority in my life?
4. Am I making decisions based on my values?
5. Am I satisfied with the decisions that I have made in the past?

After answering the questions above, we will have a good idea what we value. Next, we need to write our list of values and put it where we can see it often. When we are making decisions, it is important to refer to our values. This way we can feel more confident in everything we do.

When I made my list of values it looked like the following:

1. Devotion
2. Hard-work
3. Perseverance
4. Honesty
5. Education

Identifying our priorities

First, we need identify our priorities. Identifying our priorities is essential to successful personal development. If we don't prioritize our life, we could easily work on goals that are not as important. Answer the questions below to get an understanding of what is really important.

1. What is the purpose of my life?
2. What steps do I need to take to live a purposeful life?
3. Who do I enjoy spending my time with the most?
4. What activities do I enjoy?
5. Where do I like to go?
6. What are my career ambitions?
7. What kind of education do I need to pursue my career?
8. What personal problems do I need to get over, so that I can become success

When I prioritized, I realized that my family was extremely important to me. Of course, I spend time with my family, but I knew that I needed to increase my time with each one individually. For each family member, I have tried to increase the alone time with each one of them. Every day, I cuddle with my boys, but my daughter is not one who enjoys cuddling. This meant that I needed to find a different way to spend time with her. On a daily basis, I talk with Snow and listen to stories or ideas she has, which is something Snow likes to do. From time to time, I also take her out to shop just the two of us or with a group of girls. With my husband, Brenton, spend time together talking, because Brenton likes to talk.

Another value that was neglected was my education. A year ago, I stopped taking college courses, but this always bothered me. Receiving my masters was vital to my success. Since January, I felt the need to return to graduate school. On the first day of enrollment, I enrolled in my first class. This class was one of several classes needed to complete my masters. Now, I feel like my priorities are back on track, so I am happier and more fulfilled. When our priorities are off track, we can feel like something is missing, which can make us feel sad. Once we get back to our priorities, we can advance in our development and feel satisfied in our lives.

Creating a Personal Development Plan

Creating a personal development plan is an important part of increasing our personal development. If we don't progress, we regress. To continuously develop and grow, we need a road map. This plan or map will give us direction to better our lives and live without regret.

Every few months, I create new plans and update old plans. In my plans, I have steps that I need to take for every area of my life. For my role as mom, I have created steps to help my children with their education and social development. In my role as student, I have a plan to complete my graduate degree, which includes each class needed for graduation. As a wife, I need to set goals to build a stronger relationship with my husband.

This plan needs to reflect our own goals in life. If we desire to graduate with a doctorate, we need to have a plan that includes the milestones needed to obtain a doctorate degree. When planning a career, we need to write out where we want to work, what degrees we need, and any conflicts that need attention before we are successful. In my career planning, I know what type of company I want to work for, but I don't know the exact company, yet. In addition, I am getting a masters degree that will further my career, but I need to make other arrangement for my family while I work. Before I officially start my career, I need to work on eliminating my conflicts.

Increasing our Potential through Education

In my previous posts, I have talked about how important education is to everyone. Education has increased my personal development immensely. Education is not just about attending a school. It is a continual process of learning in various areas of our lives. Whether or not we attend classes or get a formal education, we need to develop and increase our mental capacity.

For example, my mom never graduated from college, but she studied the Bible and knew the right scriptures to lean on in every situation. The spiritual part of her life was top priority, and she continually studied and grew. As she learned, she taught me through words and actions that I needed to studied and grow in every area of my life. This is why I honor her by increasing my education.

We have multiple areas in our lives that need growth. Some of these areas are our minds, bodies, relationships, spirit, and careers. Education in each part of our lives will increase our potential. As we grow, we are able to expand what we can do. As we read books or attend classes on parenting, we are able to raise our children in the proper way. If we have a health problem, it is good for us to learn how to take better care of our bodies.

Accepting and Learning from our Mistakes

There is one thing that I have learned, and that is we all make mistakes. For a long time, I would get extremely angry with myself for all of my mistakes. This is where a lot of my depression started. Depression made it hard to forgive my mistakes. Fortunately, I was able to find a way to control my emotions, so that my emotions wouldn't control me.

Instead of getting upset with my mistakes, I now learn from them. If I don't study enough for a test and do poorly, then, instead of getting upset, I study even harder for the next test. When I speak too harshly to someone, instead of getting depressed, I ask them to forgive me and learn to speak more kindly.

When we learn from our mistakes, we can teach others, too. This starts with our children who need to learn that their parents are not perfect, and that there is a solution to every problem. Next, we need to share our mistakes with friends, family, and associates. If we can learn from each other's mistakes, we don't have to all make the same mistakes over and over, again.

Celebrating our Successes

As we progress in our personal development, it is important to celebrate each milestone and big success. When we complete classes or are able to control our temper, we need to give ourselves a reward. It is also important to have a bigger celebration when we experience major accomplishments. This will inspire us to set and reach even more goals.

When I graduated from college, I had a beautiful reception with my family and friends. In two years, I will graduate with my masters, but I am already planning an even more elaborate celebration. This helps me focus and gives me the drive to see it through. This drive gives me incentive to push through difficult moments and know that I am able to succeed.

It is a great idea that we surround ourselves with people who will actually motivate and inspire us. If we hang out with negative people, we will struggle with negativity. On the other hand, hanging out with positive people who are confident and secure in themselves, will influence us to confidently pursue our purpose. The great part of friends who positively support us is that they can help us celebrate our successes.

This week's challenge is to actively pursue success by building our identity, specifying our values, identifying our priorities and setting our goals, creating a personal development plan, increasing our potential through education, accepting and learning from our mistakes, and celebrating our successes. Each step can build on the other. When we work on personal development, we increase our ability and potential.

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

Mark Twain

Studying the Word

"A Person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."

Mark Twain

 

"For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart."

Hebrew 4:12

 

It is important to make the Word of God active, operative, energizing, and effective in our lives. The Word is like a sword, and the sword penetrates our soul and cuts out all sin. Our thoughts and the purposes of our hearts are the most important part of who we are, so God's Word exposes, sifts, and analyzes and judges our heart and minds.

 

This is why studying the Word of God is so important to who we are and who we become in life. When we just read a few scriptures from time to time, it doesn't mature us spiritually. For us to fully become who God created us to be, we must habitually study God's Word.

 

Until we decide to study to show ourselves approved, we will stay stale and complacent in our life. The Word is our guide, so without the guide we wonder aimlessly through life. The fulfillment of our purpose is dependent on how much we study the Word.

"But he who keeps (treasures) His Word [who bears in mind His precepts, who observes His message in its entirety], truly in him has the love of and for God been perfected (completed, reached maturity). By this we may perceive (know, recognize, and be sure) that we are in Him…"

I John 2:5

What does it mean to treasure God's Word? Let's think about how we treasure our valuables. There are many books and movies about adventures scouring the earth for treasure. This is the way God wants us to pursue Him. We do this through understanding His Word.

 

What happens to those who treasure God's Word? What happens to those who find treasure? People who find treasure become rich. They acquire wealth beyond their wildest imagination. It also creates a confidence, which propels them into the next treasure hunt. An adventurer that finds one treasure doesn't stop. Every treasure they find becomes more exciting. My favorite treasure movies always have sequels, so I can watch my heroes get the gold and the girl over and over, again.

 

"Life is either a great adventure or nothing."

Helen Keller

Studying God's Word should be like a treasure hunt. Many of us view God's Word and Christianity as boring, but even the characters throughout the Bible didn't live boring lives. Every story in the Bible is an adventure, and, of course, Jesus' story had more adventure than all of the other characters combined.

We never need to think of studying God's Word as drab. It is an amazing experience when we study God's Word like a treasure map. The more we study, the more secrets are revealed. As God's secrets are revealed to us our lives are changed.

 

How do we know when we have found God's treasure? The scriptures have two purposes. First, as I said before, it is a map that leads us to treasure. Second, it is full of clues to where we can find the treasure and how to live our lives. This also includes instructions on what we must do to discover the treasure, which are God's secrets. These secrets provide understanding of God's heart. He wants us to know His secrets, but He wants us to seek and find them. The ones who desperately seek God's treasure will find it and live a rich, prosperous life.

 

Every time we study God's Word, we uncover a little piece of the treasure. To say it another way, we find more and more clues. These clues connect together to form our understanding of God. When we get lost, which we all do from time to time, we have a map to get us back on course. The more we understand god's Word, the quicker we get back on our designated course and back on our adventure of finding treasure.

 

"But He said, Blessed (happy and to be envied) rather are those who hear the Word of God and obey and practice it!"

Luke 11:28

 

When we read, listen to, or practice the Word, we become blessed. Everyone wants a blessing, so it is necessary for us to study the Word. Many times when we think of blessings, we think of financial blessings. There are more blessings than just financial.

 

As a young child, I remember two things more vividly than anything else. First, I remember playing in the front yard trees, and, second, I remember my mom praying and studying the Word. At that time, we had some real problems in our home and needed some changes.

 

We went from a frustrating and abusive environment to a more peaceful environment. God brought us out of our bad situation, because my mom knew His Word and put it into practice. My mom received the blessing of change and security.

 

Joy can be a blessing that is given to those who study God's Word. When I go through depression, reading the Word can help bring me out of the pit. Suddenly, joy creeps in and I feel good, again. This is a blessing that may not come right away, but the more I read the Word, during the times of depression and the times of relief, the more joy I experience.

"Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth."

II Timothy 2:15

The Bible tells us to Study to show ourselves approved. We need to understand God and the world He created, so it is important for us to study God's Word. It may seem like we never have time to study, because we are busy and never have enough time. Studying God's Word should be just as much a priority as praying.

Although our lives get busy, there are ways for us to study that will help get the Word in our hearts. These ways are similar to studying for school. Find a scripture that we want to learn. Write the scripture down and analyze each part. It is best to write down whole scriptures like books, chapters or multiple verses, so we can get the scripture in a bigger context.

If there are words that we do not know, it is best to look them up in a dictionary. When there are names within the scripture, it would be beneficial to look them up, so we can learn more about the people throughout the Bible. The most knowledgeable people I know study the Word this way.

 

It is also vital that we get together with others and discuss the scriptures. This will help us learn from someone else's perspective. Brenton and I discuss scripture and other books that we read, and I have learned more from these discussions than just studying on my own.

In addition to the above, I also create forms that I use for studying. These forms I use to write down all the information, which is very helpful for studying the Word and studying for school. Some of the forms I created were designed to help my daughter, Snow, through science and social studies. Now, I use them to collect all the information I need to know, so I can go back and review or use the information as a reference for other studies.

"Let the Word [spoken by] Christ (the Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds and dwell in you in [all its] richness, as you teach and admonish and train one another in all insight and intelligence and wisdom [in spiritual things, and as you sing] psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, making melody to God with [His] grace in your hearts."

Colossians 3:16

 

The next step to really studying the Word of God is to teach others. When we learn a scripture, we can teach someone else about our findings. What this does is twofold. First, it helps us learn more about the scripture. It is proven that when we teach others, we learn more. In schools, the students that learn and then teach will comprehend more information than those who do not teach others. This I have actually seen for myself as I homeschool my children. If I have them teach each other and me what they learn, they are more likely to retain the information long after they take the test.

Second, teaching actually is discussed throughout the Bible. The scripture above is an example of God telling us we need to teach others what we learn. For example, the disciples were taught by Jesus. After Jesus left the Earth and ascended into Heaven, they went everywhere they could to teach the gospel to others. If they needed to teach others, we do need to follow their example.

Our challenge this week is to study the Word and other informational books and articles. After we have studied everything we can, we need to teach others what we learn. Think of all this as an adventure and not just boring material that we have to learn. When we view God's Word as one exciting adventure after another, we are more likely to read and study it more than just an old book that has no relevance. Instead of reading our romance and spy novels, we need to read the Bible. The Bible is full of fighting, journeys to foreign lands, and, of course, romance.

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

Benjamin Franklin

The Lord’s Prayer

We all want to live adventurous purpose filled lives. Prayer is very important in our attempt to lead a purpose filled life. Jesus gave us an example of how to live this kind of life through prayer. If anyone knew how to pray it was Christ. In His life, Christ prayed constant and effective prayer. This is a concept that made me think. Christ prayed and He was God, so we need to pray even more.

In Matthew 6: 9-13, Christ says to pray and gives an example. We call this prayer the Lord's Prayer, because our Lord is the one who was praying. We need to take Christ's example and pray effective prayers, which will change not only our lives but also those around us. Our family's lives will change, our careers will change, and our churches will change. Prayer can change the world, but most of us settle for praying mediocre prayers that lead to mediocre lives.

 

9 "In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven

Hallowed be Your name.

Matthew 6:9

When we pray, we always need to start with praise and worship. David had the greatest prayer life, because he praised and worshiped God constantly. Paul and Silas prayed for deliverance and received it through singing songs of praise. This story shows that praise and worship can unlock our chains and open prison doors. The battle of Jericho was won by the children of Israel marching around and shouting praise to God. As they shouted praises, the walls tumbled down.

When we praise and worship God, we are preparing our hearts for God to enter our situation. It is also a way for us to get our minds off ourselves and focus entirely on Him. He is delighted in our praise and worship. God created us for praise and worship, which is how we show our love for Him. Just as we are to honor our parents here on earth, we are to honor our Father, Who is in heaven.

10 Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

Matthew 6:10

God wants us to pray for prosperity in our lives. He wants us to pray that our purpose will be fulfilled. Sometimes, we go without, because we don't ask for what we want or need. This is what I call a poor man's mind-set. We don't think we deserve anything, but God died so we could have what we needed and wanted.

Our heavenly Father wants good things to happen in our lives, but there are some things we pray for that are not necessarily good for us. When we pray, we need to make sure that it is God's will we seek and not just our own.

When I was younger, I wanted to attend a certain private school. I prayed and prayed, but the request was denied. It made me angry! Why couldn't my prayed be answered? Did God forsake me? No, He was looking out for me. The whole situation wasn't good for me, and I needed to complete my education at the high school where I started. God knew the other school would have held me back, and then I may have never fulfilled my purpose.

If God has not answered a certain prayer, maybe you need to take a step back and re-evaluate what you are asking God to do. First, you may not be ready for God's answer. Second, the request may harm you or someone else. Look at your life and see if there is something you need to do, first. Sometimes, God is talking to us and asking us for action on our part. Also, I have asked for a lot of things that were selfish, and they could have hurt others.

11 Give us this day our daily bread

Matthew 6:11

God says to pray for our needs. There are times when we get so wrapped up in asking for our wants, that we forget to request just our basic needs. In this scripture, we are to pray for daily bread.

This may sound funny, because it seems so simple. Yet, many times we are so busy trying to provide for ourselves that we forget to depend on God. We go to work, so we think we are supplying for our own needs, but God is in control of all our needs.

Many of us complain and holler about not having enough. We seek promotions and other income opportunities. There is nothing wrong with working and providing for our families.For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat." (2 Thessalonians 3:10NIV) What I'm talking about is relying on God to give you the desires of your heart and not worrying.

God once revealed to me that I spent too much time worrying about the type of clothes I wore. He wanted me to put my style and need for clothing in His hand. If I gave it to him and was obedient, He would provide the type of clothes He wanted me to wear. Since I started praying this way, people have given me really nice clothes. This concept is true for food and shelter as well. Give it all to God and He will provide for all your needs.

12 And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

Matthew 6:12

We must pray that God and others forgive us. It is vital to our Christian walk that when we do make a mistake, that we go directly to God and ask Him to forgive us, first. Next, we must go to anyone we have wronged and ask for forgiveness. This is so hard for us, but a necessary step to living in peace.

We need to remember that God forgives us, so He requires us to forgive others. It is very hard to forgive when we are wronged. When we are wronged, our flesh wants to get revenge. Our first reaction is to tell people off, whether it is out loud or in our minds. Sometimes, we don't think we've done anything wrong if no one hears us. This is very far from the truth, because God always hears us.

Forgiveness is very difficult, but extremely necessary. There are people that we must forgive on a daily basis. When we don't forgive them, it eats away at us and makes life miserable. From time to time, take a good look at yourself and see if you're holding on to unforgiveness. Let it go immediately!

13 And do not lead us into

Temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For yours is the kingdom and the

power and the glory forever.

Amen.

Matthew 6:13

Prayer for protection should be a big part of our prayer. The Bible says Satan is roaming around like a lion waiting to devour us. This also includes our family, friends, and possessions. It is our job to pray that we are delivered and kept from temptation. Temptation is all around us and ready to trip us up.

The next two lines that come after asking for protection and deliverance is praise and worship. Praise and worship will not only get our minds on God, but it is also used to fight off the enemy and his attacks. In the church, we call this spiritual warfare, and, when we are negligent in spiritual warfare, we can stumble and fall. Once we stumble and fall, it is very easy to get off God's path and lose our way.

The last line of the Lord's Prayer is simply "Amen." Yet, this line is probably one of the most important. Amen means "so be it." At this point, we are telling God that we are putting everything into His hands. What we pray for can be a big burden, so, once we give it to God, we need to leave it with God and rest.

The challenge this week is to follow Christ's example of prayer. It is also important to set up a regular time for prayer. Some may want to pray in the morning. There are others that do better when they pray in the afternoon or evening. Whenever we set up a devotion time, we just need to consistently pray at that time. Of course, things will come up and try to steal that time from us, but we need to work as hard as we can to protect our prayer time. This is the most important time of our day.

 

Looking Inward

"Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that is in your brother's eye but do not become aware of and consider the beam of timber that is in your own eye?

Or how can you say to your brother, Let me get the tiny particle out of your eye, when there is the beam of timber in your own eye?

You hypocrite, first get the beam of timber out of your won eye, and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother's eye."

Matthew 7:3-5

It is important to understand that most of us have a problem with fault finding. A lot of times, we point our finger at the faults of our family and friends, but we have faults, too. Instead of continuing our fault finding, it is important to look inward and focus our attention on fixing our imperfections. After we begin to change, people will see the change and begin to work on their own problems. We need to set the example for those around us and not just sit and complain about others.

We all need to understand the importance of looking inward and helping ourselves. There are things we need to do before we start helping others with their problems. People who help others cannot be successful without the Fruits of the Spirit. The Fruits of the Spirit enable us to lead others without judgment. This doesn't mean we have to do everything perfect, but it does mean we need to constantly work on ourselves while lending a hand to others. When a critical spirit arises, we need to once again look at our own hearts and get rid of that critical spirit immediately.

My Own Experience

This is something that I have learned, and I am still working on this lesson. Sometimes, I get frustrated with other people's imperfections. This is when I realized that I need to stop myself and focus on what I need to fix. Focusing inward will help me figure out what I need to do to reach my goals.

When I am focusing on others faults, I am not working on personal development so I can reach my goals. In these moments, I've realized that I've stopped moving forward and I'm stuck. If I don't start moving forward again, I become depressed and frustrated. For my goals and personal success, this is not a good situation.

What I realized is that I needed work on my life, so I could produce the right kind of fruit. As I looked at the way I was living, I decided to look at the fruit in my life. I found that there was a lack of the fruits of the Spirit, but I also realized that I did not understand the fruits of the Spirit. They are important to live the life that I was created to live. Without the fruits of the Spirit, I produced the fruits of the flesh.

In the last year, I have begun to study and apply the fruits of the Spirit to my life, but I have found that the fruits of the flesh and the fruits of the Spirit cannot live together in harmony. They wage war against each other, so I live in a battle zone. This battle zone is inside me, so I need to learn how to live by the Spirit and conquer the fruits of the flesh. Of course, I am not quite there yet, but I am on my way.

The fruits of the Spirit versus the fruits of the flesh

The fruits of the Spirit produce success in our lives. Unfortunately, many times, we produce the fruits of the flesh. What we need to understand is that the fruits of the flesh do not produce success. Since the fruits of flesh are the opposite of fruits of the Spirit, the fruits of the flesh breed failure.

"But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,

Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].

Galatians 5:22, 23

When we look at the list of fruits above, it may seem too simplistic. Living by the fruits of the Spirit is anything but simplistic. Due to sin, it is a challenge to live by the fruits of the Spirit. What comes naturally is living by the fruits of the flesh.

What are the fruits of the flesh? They are the exact opposite of the fruits of the Spirit. Below are a list of the fruits of the Spirit and the fruits of the flesh:

Fruits of the Spirit Fruits of the flesh

Love Hate

Joy Sadness

Peace Turbulence

Patience Frustration

Kindness Rudeness

Goodness Meanness

Faithfulness Disloyalty

Gentleness Discourtesy

Self-control Chaos

 

Changing the Fruits of the flesh to the Fruits of the Spirit

"What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God."

Eleanor Roosevelt

Love

"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride): it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong."

I Corinthians 13:4, 5

Love is important to all humans, but many of us never truly learn to give love. As I Corinthians 13: 14, 15 says, "Love is enduring, patient, kind, never envious, never jealous, never boastful or vainglorious, and is not haughty. It is also not conceited, rude, and it does not act unbecomingly. Under no circumstances does love insist on its own rights or its own way, and love is not touchy or fretful or resentful."

There are times when I look at this list and know that I've done the negative things and failed to incorporate the positive ones. It takes practice to love the way we should. Each time we love someone, we should get better at enduring, patience, and kindness and stay as far away from conceit, rudeness, and acting unbecomingly.

The last part of verse 15 is hard for most of us to understand: "…it takes no account of evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong." This just doesn't seem fair. We should be able to keep a running list of wrongs done to us. Yet, if we really want to love, we need to learn forgiveness. It is vital to our success and happiness. Forgiveness is freedom to us and the person who has offended us.

Joy

"Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer."

Romans 12:12

Joy isn't like happiness. Happiness comes from good things happening to us. Joy is internal and is gained by hope. Our hope is that suffering and tribulation will only last a short time. Prayer is vital to developing joy. When we are lacking joy, we need to learn how to pray constantly. This kind of prayer occurs while we work throughout your day. We need to pray while doing dishes, on the way to work, as we run errand, and as we drift off to sleep at night.

If we suffer from depression, we welcome joy when it comes. It is hard to accept joy when depressive moments make it hard to get out of bed. At these times, we need to focus on the hope that is promised in God's Word. He has given us hope for a great future, but we need to accept and receive that hope and future.

Peace

"Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right. Let him search for peace (harmony; undisturbedness from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts) and seek it eagerly. [Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen, and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!]"

I Peter 3:11

Wow, the Bible says that we are to do more than just want peace. When things are chaotic, we desire peace in our lives, but we want peace to just drop into our laps. This is not God's desire for our lives. He wants us to work on peace and instigate peace with God, others, and ourselves.

One way I pursue peace is to refrain from arguing back with someone. It may be hard, but walking away from an argument is a great way to keep peace in your life. Winning an argument may seem sweet at the time, but the way we feel after the fight drains all our peace.

Patience

"So be patient, brethren, [as you wait] till the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits expectantly for the precious harvest from the land. [See how] he keeps up his patient [vigil] over it until it receives the early and late rains."

James 5:7

Patience is the hardest thing we have to do. It is never easy to wait, but it is one of the most important things we will ever do. When we start working on a project, it will not be completed or successful overnight. Overnight successes are never successful over night. Successful people work for years on their particular talent. Famous actresses work hard and wait to become television, movie, or Broadway stars. Olympic gold medalists train for years before they get the chance to compete in the Olympics. Those who attend college cannot show up one day and get their degree the next. Anyone who wants to succeed needs to patiently work hard and never give up.

This is a lesson that I have learned. My dream is to write for a living. Although I always had the ability to write, I had to patiently wait to develop a writing career. First, I had to practice writing every day. Next, I had to write and publish my writing for free through blogs. Finally, in the near future, I will complete my book and sell it for profit. Right now, I am patiently waiting as I work on my writing, but I get better every time I finish an article, blog, or story. My dream will come true, but only because I am willing to wait.

 

Kindness

"David said to him, Fear not, for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan your Father's sake, and will restore to you all the land of Saul your father [grandfather], and you shall eat at my table always."

II Samuel 9:7

David did not owe Mephibosheth (Saul's grandson; Jonathon's son) anything, but he decided to show kindness to Jonathon's son due to their friendship. This is a wonderful example of kindness. Yet, kindness is even more special when the person is unkind to us. Yes, we need to show our friends kindness, but we also need to show kindness to those who are mean and repulsive.

The greatest story I know is the one about Jesus. He came to earth and died for our sins. That is a kindness that is beyond comprehension. Jesus came to die for people that ridiculed Him and spat in His face. His kindness gives us the freedom we need to live purpose-filled, successful lives.

Goodness

"By means of these He has bestowed on us his precious and exceedingly great promises, so that through them you may escape [by flight] from the moral decay (rottenness and corruption) that is in the world because of covetousness (lust and greed), and become sharers (partakers) of the divine nature.

For this very reason, adding your diligence [to the divine promises], employ every effort in exercising your faith to develop virtue (excellence, resolution, Christian energy), and in [exercising] virtue [develop] knowledge (intelligence),

And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] self-control, and in [exercising] self-control [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety),

And in [exercising] godliness [develop] brotherly affection, and in [exercising] brotherly affection [develop] Christian love.

For as these qualities are yours and increasingly abound in you, they will keep [you] from being idle or unfruitful unto the [full personal] knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One)."

2 Peter 1:4-8

What does goodness mean? Goodness is exactly what it says it is in 2 Peter 1:4-8. The following are a list of principles that define goodness. Goodness is escaping from the moral decay, staying away from covetousness, and developing virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection, and Christian love. None of us are perfect, so God gave us this list that we can work on.

When we work on improving ourselves, we need to have this list with us. At first, we need to work on only one of the principles listed above. After we have conquered that principle, we need to start working on the next principle. Little by little, we will become good and pleasing to God

Faithfulness

"Let us therefore, receiving a kingdom that is firm and stable and cannot be shaken, offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship, with modesty and pious care and godly fear and awe."

Hebrews 12:28

The scripture above is all about our faithfulness to God, but, when we are faithful to God, we can be faithful to our fellowman. In Hebrews 12:28, it talks about us receiving a firm and stable kingdom, which cannot be shaken. This is what we need to keep in mind when we are tempted to act unfaithfully.

This faithfulness to God means serving and worshipping Him. Prayer and meditation is a great way to learn faithfulness. Studying God's Word is another way to not only learn faithfulness, but also to show our faithfulness. Faithfulness is learned as we grow spiritually, so we need to use service, worship, prayer and meditation, and studying God's Word as a studying tool. The more we study the more faithfulness we are able to display to God and others.

Gentleness

"Finally, all [of you] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [with one another], loving [each other] as brethren [of one household], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble).

Never return evil for evil or insult for insult (scolding, tongue-lashing, berating), but on the contrary blessing [praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them]. For know that to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing [from God- that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection]."

I Peter 3:8, 9

Gentleness is expressed beautifully in I Peter 3:9. It says that we should pray for the welfare, happiness, and protection for our brother and sisters. We need to treat people with tenderness. When people are having problems, even if they take them out on us, we need to sympathize and not lash out at them.

When we show gentleness to others, we are working on obtaining blessings. This includes our prosperity as heirs, our welfare, happiness, and protection. Although we should be gentle with people whether we get a reward or not, it's nice to know that our efforts have a reward.

 

Self-control

"So kill (deaden, deprive of power) the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and all that is earthly in you that is employed in sin]: sexual vice, impurity, sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry (the deifying of self and other created things instead of God)."

Colossians 3:5

When we think of self-control, we usually think of people who get into fist fights and get extremely violent. This isn't all that is included in self-control. Self-control also includes "…sexual vice, impurity, sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness…" (Colossians 3:5). In this scripture, we learn that anything that does not please God is idolatry. We need to control ourselves when those temptations come up.

One of the problems that I need to control is over-eating. Most of my life, I have struggled to control myself around food. There are times that I can enforce self-control when I am around food, but, other times I really struggle. This has caused an ongoing weight problem, which I know is not pleasing to God. Every day, I work to get better and learn more self-control.

What is the point of this blog?

The point of this blog is to teach us the importance of working on us and not looking at everyone else's faults. This can be done by learning the fruits of the Spirit, which need to replace the fruits of the flesh. Although we were born sinners, we are now free to work on personal development that will help us through this life and into eternity.

This week's challenge is to identify the fruits of the flesh, learn the fruits of the Spirit, and work on increasing the fruits of the Spirit and decreasing the fruits of the flesh. This will cause the greatest success of all. Not only will we be able to succeed at our relationships, careers, and personal life, but we will be able to develop a relationship with God that will be an example to everyone around us.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Depression

"Drag your thoughts ways from troubles… by the ears, buy the heals, or any other way you can manage it."

Mark Twain

This blog is not written by a counselor. It is written by someone who has suffered the effects of depression. There was a time in my life that it was a treat to have a depression free day. My life was a whirl wind of emotion, and I could never see anything better. Every thought was depressive, and every word that came out of my mouth was depressive.

This life of depression was taking its toll on my relationships and my health. Every day, I suffered with a migraine and muscle pain. No one knew how to help me, and I didn't know how to help myself. Many of my friends thought I was just becoming anti-social, so they withdrew from me.

Yes, there were good days, but they were seldom. Even my daughter, Snow, suffered, because I wasn't always present. There were times where my mom, Shirley, and Aunt Ellen had to take Snow for me. This caused even more pain, because I felt guilt and shame at not taking care of Snow.

There is good news, though. In the last ten years, my depression has decreased significantly. It did not happen overnight, because depression is multifaceted. Brenton likes to use the illustration of an onion. Once I started dealing with the emotions that were on the top layer, I always found a second layer. The bottom layers are emotions that are buried due to the pain it causes.

One by one, I have dealt with these painful emotions. Even now, after all this time, I still find emotions that I need to face. Now, I am getting to the primary emotions that are the most painful. This is how I see emotional healing: first, I dealt with the less painful emotions and now they don't bother me. Next, I deal with slightly more painful emotions and they no longer bother me. This goes on and on until I finally deal with the most painful emotions. Each time I learn to deal with an emotion, I have learned enough to go on to the slightly more painful emotions.

Sometimes, I want to jump right in and deal with the primary source of my depression, but, I am not ready to deal with the pain. This primary pain is too overwhelming and could cause my depression to worsen. Plus, I have reached a level of my emotions that I thought was the primary source, but, after dealing with the depression, I realized that there were many more levels underneath.

During this process, I thought there was no end. This is not true, because I have finally reached a place where I see the end in sight. It takes time, but, eventually, I began to feel like there was nothing I couldn't handle. Now, I realize that God has given me everything I need to conquer depression. It was my decision whether I received the healing or not.

"Lord, make me an instrument of your place; where there is your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, hope; where there is darkness, light, and where there is sadness, joy."

St. Francis of Assis

There are specific steps that I take to combat depression. When I feel depressed, I get up and get dressed, refrain from splurging, and talk to a close friend. It is also important that I continuously work on my emotions by creating a gratitude journal, forgiving myself, and eat a healthy diet and exercise. The first set of activities is what I do during a time of depression, and the second set of activities is what I do when I am not depressed.

It is extremely important that I get up and get dressed no matter how I feel. The more I lounge around and sulk, the more I get depressed. If I get up, put on some nice clothes, and put on make-up, I begin to slowly feel good, again. Yes, it is really hard and it doesn't always work immediately, but, eventually, I start to pull out of my depression.

There are times where I go the extra mile and get my hair done at the salon. Just to get my hair washed and styled makes me perk up and ready for my day. If I am unable to go to a salon, I style my own hair. Either way, I feel much better after I fix myself up.

One thing that causes my depression to increase is splurging. Sometimes, I try to suppress my depression by eating or spending money. After the depression subsides, the fact that I have over eaten and spent too much money sets in, and I start feeling depressed, again. It is important that I refrain from making any major decisions, which usually ends in me making a bad decision or splurging.

When I am depressed, the most important thing I need to do is talk to a friend. The friend I talk to is the closest friend I know, and that person is Brenton. He knows exactly what to do during these times, which is to hold me close and listen. There is nothing more special than a friend who actively listens or quietly sits with you without judgment.

It is important for me to never go through depression alone. Even when I feel like hiding in my room, I push myself to spend time with others. This is not just to cheer me up, but helps make sure I don't do anything rash. This includes splurging or hurting myself in any way.

"You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent their making a nest in your head."

Chinese Proverb

"It is the Lord who goes before you; He will [march] with you; He will not fail you or let you go or forsake you; [let there be no cowardice or flinching, but] fear not, neither become broken [in spirit- depressed, dismayed, and unnerved with alarm].

Deuteronomy 31:8

Sometime depression is a product of frustration. There are times when I feel so overwhelmed and down because of something that is not right in my life. This is when I pull out my gratitude journal and look at all the reasons I should be grateful. Like everyone else, I have suffered for various reasons, but I have also had many wonderful moments and amazing people touch my life.

A gratitude journal is very simple to make. All I do is use a journal I have bought from a store, a homemade journal that is made from a notebook, lined or unlined paper, or a computer. Right now, my gratitude journal is my computer. Writing a gratitude journal was awkward at first, but now almost all of my journal writing is gratitude. Once I realized all the things I had to thank God for, I focused on the positive events in my life instead of the negative ones.

Forgiveness is a subject that I talk about often. It is harder to forgive myself than anyone else. When I fail to forgive myself, I leave room for depression to move in and mess with my emotions. Depression has haunted me, because it is extremely hard for me to forgive me. This is where prayer and meditation is so important. If I pray and meditate every morning, I am less likely to deal with depression.

When I first started to meditate, I didn't quite understand how much it would affect my life. Prayer is talking to God, but meditation is listening. Sure, it is important to talk with God, because communication is the best way to build a relationship, but, like all relationships, meditation is even more important. It is the active listening that we use when talking with God.

"Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you,

Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully."

I Peter 5:6, 7

The one thing that can depress me more than anything is the way I eat and lack of exercise. If I eat right and exercise, I don't deal with depression as much. On the other hand, when I eat junk food and do not exercise, I feel sick and miserable. Of course, there were moments in my life where I actually became obsessed with diet and exercise. This caused me to feel depressed, too.

There should always be a balance. It is important for me to eat six small, healthy meals a day and exercise for an hour. If I don't get the chance to exercise for an hour, I don't beat myself up. Right now, I know my exercise program is almost nonexistent. If I can get back to my walking routine, I know I will feel so much better.

Depression is hard on anyone it attacks. There are times when I have used anti-depressants. At that time, I had no other choice, because I couldn't think on my own. Now, I am able to use the techniques in this blog to help me with my depression.

"But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

Psalm 3:3

At times, depression has made me feel useless. The one thing I wanted in my life was to feel like I made a difference. When I was depressed, I never felt like I did anything for anyone. This was a lie, and, now, I understand that I can pursue my purpose even when I feel depressed.

Depression will not rob me of my dreams and purpose. The purpose for my life is written down, so, when I do feel depressed and useless, I can read it and move forward in my pursuits. God knew I would deal with depression, but He gave me everything I need to succeed.

There are two truths that I have come to hold dear. They help me through depression, and they have helped decrease the amount of times I go through depression. These two truths are that I was created special and that I was created for this time. All of these truths took me a long time to learn, but they are now an essential part of my reasoning.

Many times, I did not feel like I was created special. These are the times that I just want to see the uniqueness in me. After I began to see the uniqueness in me, I started to understand that I also had to appreciate my own uniqueness. This I learned from watching my children. Each of them has a special personality that I would not change. When I realized how wonderful their uniqueness was, I decided to work on loving my own uniqueness. At this time in my life, I really understood that God had created each of us special and our uniqueness was a gift.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Psalm 139:14

Everyone was born for a specific time and place. When I am depressed, I remind myself that today is my time. As I work on my blogs, books, and seminar topics, I think about all the people that might be inspired by my message. Pursuing my purpose has decreased the frequency of my depression, so I am able to increase my productivity.

Finding my purpose was the key to controlling my depression. My purpose is written down, so, every time I feel useless, I read my purpose out loud. There are times where I have to read my purpose over and over, again. It also helps me to read my purpose statement out loud. This helps me hear myself state the purpose. After hearing my own voice say my purpose statement over and over, it became ingrained in my mind and my heart.

Depression is hard to go through, but it is not impossible. God has a plan for my life. It is important for me to understand that I can succeed, even in the midst of depression. This week's challenge is to take the necessary steps to deal with depression. Success is my goal, and depression is just a speed bump. If I can use these techniques to get through my depression, I will be able to take giant steps closer to success and teach others to be successful, too.

"Reading makes a full man, meditation makes a profound man, discourse a clear man."

Benjamin Franklin

 

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Procrastination

"Know the value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off tomorrow what you can do today."

Lord Chesterfield

"The appetite of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the appetite of the diligent is abundantly supplied."

Proverbs 13:4

In my life, I have procrastinated more times than I want to admit. There are projects that are very important to me, but I put them off until it's almost too late. Many times I compromise my own dreams, because I have left them until the last minute.

Okay, this is the reason I am writing about procrastination. This week I planned to write on a different subject, but I was having a problem. Every day, I needed to write, but I just had a really hard time getting started. Suddenly, I knew my topic for this week was procrastination, because I needed to learn more about the subject. My procrastination had to stop, so I could write this week's blog and post by Friday.

For me to defeat procrastination, I had to figure out why I procrastinate, why I need to stop procrastinating, and how I can refrain from procrastinating again. If I could figure this out, then, I could not only stop procrastinating myself, but also help others stop procrastinating. This is not just a problem for me. Many people I know procrastinate, so they end up doing things at the last minute. We all know this means many of our projects are done hurriedly, so our projects are mediocre. My purpose in life is to help others with problems they have, so they can become successful.

"And He said to another, Become My disciple, side with My party, and accompany Me! But he relied, Lord, permit me first to go and bury (await the death of) my father.

But Jesus said to him, Allow the dead to bury their own; but as for you, go and publish abroad throughout all regions the kingdom of God.

Another also said, I will follow you, Lord, with Your party; but let me first say good-bye to those at my home.

Jesus said to him, No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back [to the things behind] is fit for the kingdom of God."

Luke 9:59-62

It was important to figure out why I procrastinate. What I figured out was, for me, I had so many fears. Fear is what makes me procrastinate. There are times when I want to complete an important project, but fear takes over and I end up waiting and, sometimes, never completing the project. Fortunately, this is becoming less and less, and, for my blog, I started writing as soon as I realized I was procrastinating.

Fear is probably the biggest dream killer. For me, it is disguised in different forms. First, it comes to me in the form of failure. If I try something that may seems difficult or important to me, I may screw it up and fail. What I have come to understand is that failure is part of the growing process. For me to succeed, I have to endure some failure.

Second, fear attacks me in the form of perfectionism. Perfectionism is misunderstood. Many people believe that all perfectionists are people who work until they get it right and are high achievers. This is not the case for all perfectionists. Sometimes, I stop working on projects, because I don't think I'm doing a good enough job. All I can think about is how horrible I would feel if I failed. The thought of how bad people would view me flashes through my mind.

Third, I created a busy life, so I didn't have to deal with what really scares me. In an attempt to not feel fear, I filled my life with busy work. What is busy work? Busy work is small unimportant jobs that can be done by almost anyone and are not important to our success. This includes little jobs that friends ask you to do, but they only interfere with the important projects that will propel you toward success.

Fourth, fear actually attacks my body. Many times I obsess over whether I am going to succeed or not and actually make myself sick. Fear is a disease that makes my body ache, my head throb, and depression to take over my whole outlook in life. Good thing I found a solution to controlling my deepest fears instead of fears controlling me.

"Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people),

Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is."

Ephesians 5:15-17

For me to live purposefully, I must conquer procrastination. This means I need to leave fear in the dust and push through difficult situations. Ephesians 5:15-17 says it well: "…Live purposefully and worthily and accurately…" In verse 16, we are told to make the most of our time, and we need to buy up each opportunity. There are many opportunities that I failed to take, so, now, I must reap the consequences of my foolishness. Not taking opportunities that come to me is foolishness.

When we take opportunities and push through tough times, we are more likely to get past the difficult moments, learn a valuable lesson, and gain the confidence to push through the next difficult task. This reminds me of a lesson that I learned in high school. One day, I was getting my things ready to go home. If my memory serves me correctly, this revelation occurred my junior year. It was the last day of the year and everybody was excited about summer vacation.

As I got all my stuff and headed home, I realized that when I started my freshman year, I was petrified and didn't know if I could make it through, and, due to procrastination, I did receive some low grades. My sophomore year, I felt a little better about starting the school year and I procrastinated less and less. Of course, by the time my junior year started, I was even more confident that I would succeed, because I knew more about diligence and hard work. As I thought about how scared I felt going into each grade, I realized that by the end of the year I had pushed through and worked on the difficult subjects. Even hard subjects were passed, because I never gave up and learned to get my assignments started early and done and turned in on time.

Each year, I got better and better grades. This was because I learned from one tough subject to the next how to pass my classes. In reality, I am an exceptional student, but I allowed fear and procrastination stop me. When I got into college, I realized that it was even more dangerous to procrastinate. College wasn't a requirement, so they didn't have to put up with me. Now, I am in graduate school and take each class knowing all it will take is hard work and determination.

"My evil genius procrastination has whispered me to tarry 'til a more convenient season."

Mary Todd Lincoln

Today, I am glad to say that I tackle procrastination and get rid of it at the beginning of the project. Well, except for this week. Now, at this point in my own personal development, I realize that there are multiple reasons I need to learn how to avoid procrastination. These reasons are to succeed at any project that is important to me, to have more confidence, and to increase my ability to handle bigger projects.

When I started blogging, I understood that it was important for me to get my blogs done every week. This success is important to me. My dream is to write inspirational blogs and stories. If I procrastinate, I am less likely to post on time. Plus, these blogs motivate me to write other stories and books. At this point, I am not only writing a blog on a weekly basis, but I am also working on a success book and seminar presentation.

On March 31, Brenton and I will conduct our first success seminar. This means that we have to prepare material, so we can teach others to have confidence in success. Procrastination is the one thing that can hurt our presentation. It can either keep us from going through with the seminar or it can stop us from giving a quality presentation. This is true for any big project I take on. At one time in my life, procrastination would have killed my opportunities, but I am now capable of working through the fear and pushing myself to finish each project.

It goes without saying that as I complete important projects, my confidence increases. This is a huge step for me. In the past I had no confidence to work on important projects. My desire is to confidently succeed at my purpose, which is to teach others the lessons that I've learned. Once I realized this week that I was procrastinating and why, I began to tackle the issue and make a plan to stop procrastinating.

When I procrastinate, my confidence decreases, anxiety creeps in, and, sometimes, depression gets me down. Depression is a sign to me that something is wrong and needs my attention. This week it was my procrastination. In the last year, I've learned is that it's okay to have a difficult week, because, through the difficulty, I have the opportunity to learn valuable lessons. Of course, the first thing I think about is teaching these lessons to others. As soon as I think this way, my depression disappears and my confidence increases, again.

Finally, I need to stop procrastination, because I want to increase the ability to complete even more difficult projects. For example, when my children go to school, they have to work on the subjects for their grade level. Each year they increase their grade level and the level of difficulty, because, as they get to the end of the year, that grade level has become easier. Our projects should be viewed the same way. When we get in and work on a project that is difficult, it gets easier and easier until we are ready to tackle an even more difficult project.

Here is the problem, when I procrastinate, I don't learn from the project. This means I am not ready for the next difficult project. My life becomes complacent and boring, so my stale life can once again lead to depression. To make sure my life is not stale and depressing; I need to make sure procrastination is not a part of my life.

"[It is then] my counsel and my opinion in this matter that I give [you when I say]: It is profitable and fitting for you [now to complete the enterprise] which more than a year ago you not only began, but were the first to wish to do anything [about contributions for the relief of the saints at Jerusalem].

So now finish doing it, that your [enthusiastic] readiness in desiring it may be equaled by your completion of it according to your ability and means."

II Corinthians 8:10, 11

At this point in the week, I have taken the next phase of procrastination. This phase is learning to refrain from procrastination. There are several techniques that I have used to minimize procrastination. These techniques are pretty simple, but I needed to learn to use them consistently. The techniques I use are taking big projects and breaking them down, turn-off all distractions, schedule your day, make a commitment to complete what I start, and do the hardest thing first.

The best way for me to deal with complex projects is by breaking them down. For instance, I had an idea for a book on success. This seemed like a huge undertaking, but I broke down the book subjects into blogs. These blogs I post each week, but, while I'm writing the current blog, I compile the old blog topics into one book. Sure, this means I have to change the blog a little, because the blog has to fit into a book format. All the work is worth the end product, which are weekly blogs and a published book.

All projects can be broken down into smaller jobs. In my college classes, I always seriously adhere to the syllabus. The syllabus breaks down the class into smaller projects. As I read over the syllabus, I focus on each individual assignment and not on the class as a whole. When I do this, I am less likely to procrastinate, because the smaller assignment doesn't seem as difficult. Also, most of the beginning assignments are easier and prepare students for the last difficult assignment.

Turning off distractions isn't always easy. Sure, in theory, I just turn off the television and cell phones and we're good. Well, I know this is not the only distraction that I will face. There is my spouse, children, friends that drop by unannounced, and neighbors having a loud party. These are just a few distractions that can interfere with important projects. Many times, these distractions just become my excuse for procrastination. If I eliminate these distractions, then I have no excuse to procrastinate and delay any completion of my project.

Brenton and I know people who either make distractions their excuse or they create the distractions themselves. This I know something about, because, like I said before, I have suffered from procrastination most of my life. When I am procrastinating due to distractions, I always check to see if I caused the distraction. It is important for me to acknowledge what caused my procrastination and to immediately start working on the project.

An example of causing a distraction to get out of work is a child who continues to break their pencil. This is just a way the child is procrastinating where their homework is concerned, because they keep breaking their pencil and need to get up every few seconds to use the pencil sharpener. One problem with this habit is that they usually end up missing out on play time. Usually, if they miss out on play time long enough, they will eventually realize all they have to do is complete their homework without distraction to play.

For several years, I have worked on planning, which also includes scheduling. Most of planning I understand and easily put into practice. Scheduling is not as easy, and I have struggled to schedule whole days. In my attempt to schedule, I am able to take my projects and schedule when I do each part. This way I know exactly when to work on the project, which makes it harder for me to procrastinate.

Scheduling is easier when done weekly. This way I can look at the full week each day. What is great about scheduling is that it also takes care of distractions, too. When I write down each part of the project, I make sure everyone knows that I am working at that time. This helps them to stay away and let me work. It is also a good idea for me to turn off the phone, so I am not tempted to pick it up. It is important to let friends know when I am working, so they are not tempted to interrupt. If I schedule projects, I can also take myself out of a distracting environment. There are other places that I can work. For example, go to a quiet library or to a coffee shop with Wi-Fi.

Many times, I start projects, but quit them before they are finished. Completing my projects, like this blog, is important to my success. This is why I'm making a commitment to complete each project I start. This also includes creating a contract of completion. A contract keeps me from procrastinating too much. There are times I still procrastinate, but I am getting better every time I complete a project. Maybe someday, I will never procrastinate. That is a goal worth working toward.

One project that I started and completed is my bachelor's degree. My senior year was taking forever to complete. Sometimes, I would continuously put off taking classes (procrastination). Finally, I made a commitment to complete my senior year and actually graduate. This commitment was what I needed to succeed. A year and a half after I made my commitment, I graduated from college. Every time I was tempted to procrastinate, I would look at my commitment and push through the tough classes (math).

Although there are times that it's easier to start with the easiest part of the project. In some projects, it is best to start with the hardest part. When I clean my home, I always start with the kitchen, because it is the filthiest part of my home. This is a lesson that I now apply to jobs that are extremely hard and tedious.

Sometimes, when I get the hardest task out of the way, I am ready to tackle even more tasks. It gives me the boost I need to accomplish the rest of the project. The confidence I receive from completing these tasks makes me want to work even harder. This means the next time I am ready to start a difficult project, I am less likely to hesitate and more likely to jump in with both feet.

This week's challenge is to take the step necessary to stop procrastination. Remember, the benefits of diligently working on a project are higher than quitting because a project gets too hard. The confidence and satisfaction of a tough project completed is worth the difficult moments. Conquering fear and completing projects is the most important step to success, so I promise to never give into procrastination and make completing difficult projects a habit in my life.

"Putting off an easy thing makes it hard, putting off a hard thing makes it impossible."

George Claude Lorimer

Passion

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

Harriet Tubman

"And David danced before the Lord with all his might…"

2 Samuel 6:14

In each person lies potential, but for most of us the potential remains dormant. Many times, we wonder why we don't succeed. We watch others succeed and don't know what they have they we lack. This can cause us to feel worthless and depressed. Our life looks like a useless mess, but we don't have to live this way.

The missing ingredient in our lives is passion. Passion is the driving force behind success. Without passion, we cannot reach goals and see our purpose fulfilled. When we have a dream, we must find the passion or zeal that pushes us to work hard to see our dream come true.

When we hear our dreams can come true, we may think of princesses and their fairy tales, but real dreams don't come true with magic. Dreams take work, and, when we have a dream that is important to us, we are willing to face all the hard work. Actually, passion is like a fire that starts out as a spark, but, as you fuel the fire, it begins to grow and grow. All of a sudden, your passion can become a raging fire.

"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."

Henri Frederic Amiel

There are some of us who have problems lighting our fires (passion). We go unmotivated and stressed, because we see our lives as a waste. As I thought about passion, I realized there were five steps we can take to fueling our passion. These steps are writing down our dreams, preparing ourselves for success, getting back up and dusting ourselves off, surrounding ourselves with a motivational support team, and practicing until we are experts.

"Another story by way of comparison He set forth before them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed, which he took and sowed in his field.

Of all the seeds it is the smallest, but when it has grown it is the largest of the garden herbs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and find shelter in its branches.

Matthew 13:31-32

When something is important to us we write it down. It helps us to remember what we wanted or needed to do. This is why writing down our dreams is vital to success. Once our dream is written down, we need to write a purpose and goals that will help us create our desired lives. A dream is what we first envision, but a purpose is our blueprint and the goals are our road map.

A purpose is what we want to do and should only be a short statement. This will help us remain focused on our ultimate desire, so that we don't become confused and bogged down by wordiness. It should not only include the reason, but also the emotion that you feel about your purpose.

"My purpose is to use my passion and enthusiasm to inspire and encourage others to discover their purpose in life and pursue personal development."

Tina White's Purpose

The above statement is the purpose that I wrote for my own life. After I created this statement, I wrote it on a strip of paper. This strip of paper went into my planner, so I can look at every day. In addition, I found a place in my house to put up my purpose, so that I can read it as I get ready. For me, my dresser mirror is the best place, but this may not be best for everybody. Look around the house for a place that is the most visible. Maybe the refrigerator or the bedroom door is the best place for someone else.

Next, preparing ourselves for success is vital. Once we have written down our purpose, we can write down what we need to do in preparation. If we want to write for a living, we need to prepare ourselves for a writing career. How do we prepare for a writing career? One step to a writing career is to write every day. Another step is to take writing classes, which means we might need or want to get a college degree. There are also writing workshops that help writers with content and publication.

One of the most important ways to prepare for success is by making sure we have all the tools we need. For example, an artist needs paint brush, paints, and a variety of canvases. They may also need frames to display their art. A writer needs pens, highlighters, paper, computer, printer, and a dictionary and thesaurus. Some may have more supplies than others due to ability, knowledge, and finances. As we learn, our need and ability to provide for that need will grow.

It is important that we prepare ourselves by dressing and acting the part. As a public speaker, we need to start thinking about and wearing appropriate clothing. If we don't have money to get a new wardrobe, we could start purchasing a piece of clothing a little at a time. Even if you don't have the wardrobe or any opportunities to speak, now, you can practice in front of a mirror or in front of friends and family. Make sure you take even the smallest opportunities, so your skill can grow and turn into a full-time career.

Once we decide we want to pursue our dreams, there will be times we will fail. This is okay because we learn from these failures. Failure can be used as a learning tool if we do not give up. Many of us fail once and throw in the towel. Those who succeed are the ones that get up and dust themselves off every time they fall. Failures fall down once and never get back up.

For instance, I started college in my early twenties. A few times, things got overwhelming and I had to stop attending classes. Once I was able to take classes again, I got back up and enrolled in classes. After a while, I actually graduated from college and started taking graduate classes. There may be times that you feel like your dream is over, but, if you continue to hold onto you dream and prepare yourself for success, you will succeed.

"Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion."

George Wilhelm Friedrech Hegel

The next step should be to surround ourselves with a motivational support team. It is important that we have people in our lives that will support us, give us constructive advice and criticism, and are strong enough for us to lean on when times are tough. There are some of us who have a working support system among our family and friends. On the other hand, there are many of us who need to look for a group of people that are willing to serve on our motivational support team.

A lot of people think they are independent enough to succeed on their own. It is important to understand that we may be capable to do a lot of things on your own, but two head are better than one. Of course, if two heads are better than one, then five heads are better than two. There should be at least five people on a team, so we can reach out to them when we need the extra help in every area of our lives. These people bring a unique point of view to our situations.

"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

Matthew 18:20

We just need to carefully pick our support team. Just because they are relatives, does not mean they will give us the best advice. If someone has a brother who lies around the house like a bum and watches television, he is not the best person to serve on their motivational support team. The people on our teams need to have a certain level of success themselves and have our best interest in mind.

My mom use to push me to practice the piano. She would always end her lecture with "practice makes perfect." This use to annoy me, because, in my young mind, practice was a dirty word. Now, I completely understand my mom's lecture and wish I had listened to her. Practice is one of the keys to leading a passionate life and to succeed.

The more we practice the better we get, and, the better we get, the more challenges become easier. When we start playing a musical instrument, we are given a simple piece. If we went in to violin lessons for the first time and they gave us advanced music to play, we would look at them like they were crazy.

This practicing concept isn't just for music. We have to start any endeavor at the beginning and practice until we are experts. Many of us want to start out as experts, though. When we realize success in the endeavor takes work, we stop practicing and go on to something else. Unfortunately, we go from one thing to the next trying to find something that gives us instant success, but there is no such thing.

Our society has duped us into thinking that we always need to seek instant gratification. We want to see results in a short amount of time, but this is unrealistic. Believe me; I have bought in to a product that promised results in a few months. Of course, the results usually don't come and, if there are any results at all, they usually don't last.

The best thing for all of us to do is practice, practice, practice. Truly successful people become masters at their trade, because they continuously practice. Those who don't succeed are usually the people who go from one thing to the next looking for instant success. They are never happy, because they can't enjoy the process of starting out at the beginning, practicing, and becoming an expert.

My challenge to all of us this week is to find our passion. We need to write down our dreams, prepare ourselves for success, get back up and dust ourselves off when we fail, find a motivational support team, and practice until we are experts. If we will take these steps, we will become more and more passionate about our dreams. This passion has the capability of speeding up the process of success. When we are more passionate, we are more likely to focus on our dreams and work harder.

"Therefore I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men."

Acts 24:16

The following form will help us organize all the steps we take, so we can lead a passionate life. For a full-sized form, e-mail me at mymondaymaptosuccess@gmail.com.

Finding Your Passion

What is your dream?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

How can you prepare yourself for success?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What are ways you could fail? How can you get back up and start again?

(If you write down all the ways you can fail, then you can write a countermeasure and prepare to get back up and succeed.)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Who are the people I want on my motivational support team?

(Write down the names and phone numbers of at least five people.)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

How much of your time will you give to this dream?

(Write down how many minutes, hours, and days you will put into your dream. Practice makes perfect, so the more you practice the more you will succeed.)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Goal-Setting

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”

Proverbs 29:18

"Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage but simply because they have never organized their energies around a goal."

Elbert Hubbard

When I talk to others about my college experience, the first thing I explain is that I wandered around aimlessly for several years as a senior.The first three years of college went quickly, but, after I started my senior year, I got stuck.This is due to the increased responsibilities of motherhood.Each time I had a child, the pressures increased and I lost focus.It was tough to manage school and home life.

After awhile, I got frustrated with school and only took a class here and there.There was no consistency, so graduating always seemed so far away.At this point, no one had ever taught me how to set and reach goals.This was the missing factor in my college experience.Success was at my fingertips.All it would take is a pen and piece of paper, but for a long time my goals went unwritten.

Even after I began to study goal-setting, it took some time for me to realize that I should apply goal-setting to my education.Sure, I used it for my career and home management, but I didn't use it to complete my college degree.It wasn't until I had an “ah hah” moment that I realized how beneficial goal-setting would be to my education.

What many of us do not realize is that when planned, almost anything can be accomplished.Even when the desired goal is long-term and takes many years, we can set goals in such a way that the time seems to pass by quickly.When we are focused on a goal and break it down in to smaller goals, it is almost as though time speeds up, but, truthfully, we are just distracted by reaching the smaller goals.Suddenly, we finish the last smaller goal and we have reached the bigger goal that was so far away.

When I said time seemed to pass by quickly, I used the word seemed.This is due to the fact that time doesn’t speed up or slow down.Time only seems to speed up, because we are focused on accomplishing each goal.It can become a game as we set and reach goals.The ones who find it fun and exciting go on to set and reach many goals.After they get done with one goal, they are off looking for the next goal they can reach.

For example, if my children are bored and the day seems to go by slow, I suggest they help me clean house and suddenly they proclaim they aren’t bored anymore.Well, that is because, when I suggest they help me clean the house, they found something else that was constructive and distracted them.Now, if only I could get them to take me up on my cleaning offer.

 

 

“A man who does not plan long ahead will have trouble at his door.”

Confucius

One day, I decided to apply my goal-setting knowledge to my degree, and I made a degree plan that would change my life and increase my self-confidence exponentially.I had made small plans, but this time it was more elaborate.This goal had detail and helped me visualize exactly what I desired, and I also became aware of why I wanted my college degree.

It wasn't just about what and why, but my plan also explained the when, where, and who.Every day, I would look at my plan to motivate myself.Many times, I would visualize myself walking across the stage receiving my diploma.This visualization also included how I would feel and how much fun we would have at the graduation party.

Before I wrote my plan, I decided I wanted my degree to increase personal development, increase income and career opportunities, and to set an example for my children.Next, I wrote out every class I needed to complete my degree plan.At this time, I decided to write a deadline for each class.In the following paragraphs, I have written exactly how I designed my college plan, and I’ve also included an example of a goal plan.This goal plan is simple, because not everyone has time or the need for a complicated goal plan.Sometimes, we can become so complicated that we get to caught up in the actual plan and lose focus of our ultimate goal.

When we create our goal plans, we need to have detailed information that will help as we work toward our goal.First, we need to state our goal in specific terms, such as a Bachelors of Art in Literature.If we write down a college degree, we are less likely to visual a degree in our hands.It is important to know exactly what you want, so you can stay focused on the desired goal.One of my problems in the past was vacillating between degrees, so, when I wrote down a specific degree, I stopped hopping from one degree plan to the next.This is a major reason why I actually reached my goal, because I had it written down and could read it whenever I felt overwhelmed or ready to give up.

Second, I calculated how many hours I needed to complete my senior year.Next, I divided the hours needed by 3, because each class was 3 hours.This gave me the number of classes I needed to complete my degree.We are more likely to complete a goal if we know the specific steps needed.In college, each class is a step we take to move closer to our goal.In working toward receiving a promotion at work, specific tasks are steps we can take to reach our goals.These steps are actions that move us closer and closer to our ultimate goal.

Third, I examined what I had accomplished in the past and wrote the hours already completed.Sometimes, if we don’t feel close to completion, we are unable to see what we have already done toward our goals.There may be small things that you have done already, which can make a huge difference.When we add up all the small steps already taken, we usually realize how close we really are to reaching our goals.There is no such thing as an unimportant goal, so we need to take each goal into account.

Fourth, I wrote down the hours left to complete.For other goals this could be the tasks or steps that we need to reach the main goal.This is an important step, because we need to know how far away we are from the finish line.As we accomplish a goal, we can mark the number out and make it smaller until it is at zero.Once it is at zero, we have completed the goal and ready for a new challenge.

Fifth, I wrote down the classes that I needed to take.In my university, there were several that you could take for a specific degree plan.Although I could choice at the time of enrollment what I wanted to take, I decided to write all the classes I wanted before I enrolled in the first class.This way, I didn’t give myself any room for excuses.Sometimes, when we don’t plan, we can find excuses for not accomplishing a goal.When enrollment came around, I could say, “Oh, well, I just don’t know what class to take, so I’m not taking a class this session.”This eliminated the time wasted looking through the class list each session.At the time of registration, I sent in my paperwork without hesitation, because I knew exactly what I was taking at that time.

Sixth, due to the type of business school I attended, I had a choice of lecture and online classes.As I wrote my plan, I decided if I wanted to attend the classes at the university or take them online.For me, online classes were the best choice, but, at times, it was nice to get away and participate in a class full of students. A few of my classes ended up at the college, but, most of the time, I was able to complete the course at home.This especially helped when my mom went into the hospital and when I got pregnant.

Seventh, we all have busy, full lives and need to understand there will be obstacles.It is very important to write down the obstacles that might arise in the process of trying to reach our goals.When we write them down, they are easier to prepare for them as they arise.For example, when I was pregnant with my youngest son, I knew that there would be times that I didn’t feel good or needed to visit my doctor and that they would take time away from studying.This helped to keep me on track and ahead of schedule.

Eighth, right under the obstacle section, we must write out our solutions.When these problems arise, we can look at our solutions and pick the best one.What if we have children who go to soccer practices?If they have practices on Tuesdays and games on Saturday, then these are times we will not study or complete a task.For example, there are weekdays that Brenton, my knight in shining armor, will take the kids and let me work on my writing or studying.This helps me get things done that I couldn’t do while I took the kids to a doctors’ appointment.

Ninth, I wrote down my desired graduation date.This is where I became very real, because, although I wanted to graduate that spring, I knew that my life was busy and I needed to take in account for all my responsibilities.When I made the plan, I was starting summer fun with my family, so taking more than two classes at a time was out of the question.After that summer, I realized any more than two classes at anytime would be difficult, because of my responsibilities at home.From that time on, I took two classes for fall, spring, and summer sessions.Due to the shortened winter session, I only took one class, because I knew two classes would be too stressful.After I figured out how many classes I could take, I decided to set a date for August of 2009.

On August 19, 2009, I completed my bachelors and applied for graduation.The next graduation ceremony was not until November of 2009, but that was okay with me.Finally, I had completed my college degree and was happily a waiting the graduation ceremony.When the ceremony came, my family and I had a great time celebrating.All the hard work and planning was worth it all.

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

Benjamin Franklin

A Goal-Setting Plan

Goal: Graduate with Masters of Science in Human Relations

Hours Total:36

Hours Completed To Date: 9

Hours Needed for Completion: 27

Classes Needed:

1.Leadership

2.Ethics

3.Psychology of Adjustment

4.Organizational Behavior

5.Critical Analysis of Media

6.Communications in Organizations

7.Human Resource

8.Management Practices

9.Compensation Management

Type of classes to take: Online Classes Only

Obstacles: Children’s schedules; Husband’s schedule

Solutions to Obstacles: Write a detailed schedule and include studying times.Put the schedule on the refrigerator for the whole family to see.If necessary, get a baby sitter or leave husband with kids and go study at the local coffee shop or library.

Projected Graduation Date: May 2014

 

Where I went to college was also an important factor.In the past, I had attended a junior college and a major university.Now, I needed a four year college that was designed for someone who had limited time and energy.This was when I found a business college that was for adults who were either professionals or stay-at-home moms like me, so they offered night, Saturday morning, and online classes.We had all attended colleges elsewhere, but had to drop out and get jobs or raise a family.My favorite classes were online, so I didn’t have to leave my family to attend classes.From time to time, I also attended Saturday morning classes from.

Dost thou love life?Then do not squander time for that is the stuff life is made of.”

Benjamin Franklin

Once the plan was put into action, it only took me a year to finish my senior year.August 2009, I completed my last class for my bachelors of science in human relations and business.Now, I am making plans to complete my masters of science in human relations and business.The plan for my masters is written and it is ready for execution.

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

For this week’s challenge, we need to set and reach as many goals as possible.Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe was right when he said what we become is more important than what we get by reaching our goals.When I completed my college goal plan, I had become efficient and accomplished.Everything I learned from setting the goals and reaching them, the classes I took, and the teachers and fellow students I met helped me to grow and mature beyond what I thought was possible.

As we meet each goal, the next ones should be more and more challenging.If we don’t challenge ourselves, then our lives can become stagnant.It is an amazing feeling to complete one goal and go on to an even tougher and more complicated goal.This creates an adventurous spirit in us that makes life worth living.

* To receive a Goal-Setting Worksheet, please email me at mymondaymaptosuccess@gmail.com.

Fearless

 

“Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for you are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.”

 

Psalm 23:4

 

There are times when we fear.Sometimes, fear serves as a warning.We realize that we need to take action, because there is danger.Fear, on the other hand, can be unfounded and a hindrance to our success.When we fear it is important to make sure the fear is based in reality.If it is unrealistic or hindering us from success, we need to figure out why we are experiencing fear.

 

A common fear that hinders is stage fright.Stage fright is when we are scared to perform in public, make a speech, or perform a task with other people watching us.Many musicians experience stage fright.There are musicians that actually throw up before each performance.After they throw up, they go on and perform amazing concerts.

Another type of fear is the fear of failure.This means we fear trying anything new, because we may fail.Of course, we probably will fail at first, because it is something new and we have to practice until we learn the task.The process of trying and failing is important to our success.If we miss this process, we don’t learn what is needed to succeed.

 

There are ways we can deal with fear and pursue success.We need to know our purpose, be afraid and take action anyway, use our imagination, and live adventurously.If we focus on these four steps, we can actually use fear to reach our goals.

 

“For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus, [born new] that we may do good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].Ephesians 2:10

 

It is essential to know our purpose.Our purpose serves as hope for something better.In addition, it is a focal point, so we can keep our eyes focused on our ultimate goal.Our purpose becomes a guide to get us through any situation.

 

When we go through fearful times, concentrating on our purpose gives us a reason to carry on.We can see ourselves fulfilling our purpose, so we don’t want to give up.If we give up, we will never see our true potential.There is one way we can prepare for a time of fear.When we face fear, we realize all the reasons we have to complete our goals and fulfill our purpose.

 

One way to find our purpose is to find a quite place, so we are not interrupted.We need to sit down on a comfortable chair or sit on a pillow on the floor.As soon as we get comfortable, we need to close our eyes, and ask ourselves what our lives would like if we were successful.The images we see in our minds are probably our purpose.

 

Another way to find our purpose is by again sitting in a quiet and comfortable place, so we are not disturbed.This time have a piece of paper and pencil in hand.As we close our eyes, we need to think about what makes us happy.Next, we need to start writing down everything that comes to mind.Anything we write down, makes us giddy, and brings us the highest level of joy is our main purpose in life

 

Once we find our purpose, it is time to pursue that purpose passionately.As we work toward our purpose, our mind is distracted by working on our purpose and not focused on fear.Fear is a distraction and clouds our thinking.Once we bring fear under control, ideas and opportunities become clearer.

 

Next, one of the most important steps is to be afraid and act anyway.If we are back stage waiting to sing in front of a big audience, we may get nervous and start to back out of the performance.Something else we tend to do is say no to opportunities, because we are scared of the feeling of fear.Either way, we end up giving in to fear and not succeeding.This can cause depression and feelings of worthlessness.The more we face our fear the less fear we experience.

 

When I was a teenager, I desperately wanted to sing solos.Every time I tried out for a solo in my choir, I got extremely nervous.My voice would shake, my body would tremble, and I’d forget the words of the song.In my high school days, I only sang one solo.It was disappointing and humiliating.

 

This all changed when I entered college.Brenton and I were engaged, and I was attending USC.Every week, we stood up in front of our peers and sang the song we worked on that week.The same thing happened the first time I sang, but, as the semester went on, my fear was less and less debilitating.

 

Finally, when the recital came, and I was required to sing a solo in front of my peers, friends, family, and staff, I faced my fear and sang my heart out.Sure, I was scared, but I did an amazing job and gained tons of confidence that day.Ever since that night, I have performed many times with a group and sang duets and solos, and I get less and less nervous every time I sing.

 

Now, I use this principle with every area of my life.For example, when I started blogging, I was fearful of everyone’s response to my writing.Each time I post a new blog, I am less fearful than the time before.This is liberating to me, because, now, fear doesn’t control me and dictate my success.From now on, I want to jump in and start working on fulfilling my desires.

 

“The Lord is my Light and my Salvation- whom shall I fear or dread?The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life-of whom shall I be afraid?

 

Psalm 27:1

 

 

 

God gave us imaginations, so we can see what has not happened, yet.When circumstances are negative, we use our imaginations to see something better.This keeps us focused and striving for better circumstances.Before the world was created, God imagined a world of people who were created in His image.If we are created in His image, that means we can imagine into our lives what we need to succeed.Many may see this as silly, but, as I’ve realized, we always use our imagination.Most the time, our imaginations think on nonsense or negative issues, so we have to concentrate on using our imaginations productively.

 

 

 

When my daughter, Snow, was little, every day she would play a different person.People couldn’t wait to hear about her newest character.All of her characters were intriguing, and she never imagined anything that left her or her characters hurt or in need of anything.One time she created a character out of a fly, which went on for years.Even now, we talk about squishy the fly, because every fly that flew into the room was squishy the pet fly.Our imaginations should be as real and positive as Snow’s, but it takes thought and determination.If we determine to use our thoughts for positive success, we can have the life we dream of and much, much more.

 

 

 

How does this relate to fear?When we are attempting to speak in front of people or sing a solo at church, we can close our eye and imagine a successful speech or a performance that will touch the heart of God and the people in the congregation.As we go in to take a test, like for a certification or college class, we can see ourselves taking the test, answering all the questions, and getting a high score.This is not difficult, but some people think it is too ridiculous and don’t see the success in their mind, first.

 

 

 

As soon as we see success in our mind, we can execute the success in the real world.If you think this is bogus, try it and see if it works.Since I was a young child, like Snow, I had a vivid imagination.The only reason I ever got trouble in school was for day dreaming.It was fun to pretend I was a spy by riding my bike around the neighborhood in search for a mission.During this time, fear was not a part of my play. My problem was that I became negative and very fearful in high school and couldn’t imagine anything positive.In college, I got interested in psychology classes and human development, which made me realize how important my imagination was to conquering my fear.This year, I have had less moments of fear than I have in the past.

 

 

 

Today, there are still times I fear people and situations, but every day the fear is less.At one time, fear was so bad that I could hardly talk to people without trembling or getting tongue tied.As I experience more and more freedom from fear, I am able to take chances that once lived only in my thoughts.I’ve began to find my purpose and take action, but, first, it had to start in my imagination.

 

 

 

When we live adventurous lives, fear is part of the thrill.When we first get on roller coasters, our heart is pounding and blood racing, because there is fear of what might happen during the ride.Daredevils live for fear, and, once the fear has subsided, they look for something even more dangerous.This doesn’t mean we have to do the most dangerous stunt and get ourselves killed, but it does mean we need to face fears and take chances. Our lives should be adventurous and exciting, but fear can grip us and hold us back from living the life we want.

 

 

 

What I am saying is when we live adventurous lives we are constantly facing and dealing with our fears.As we start to work on things that are even more important to us, we can face the little fear we may experience and do it anyway.Some of us stop our adventurous lives when we become adults.In my opinion there is a correlation between the fear we start experiencing as adults and the childhood adventure we stop living.

 

 

 

Brenton and I have experienced a new sense of adventure this year.We’ve been kayaking and surfing all in the last six months.That may not be a lot to some, but to us it is was thrilling and invigorating.Each time we do something more exciting we lose a little bit more of our fear and start dreaming of new adventures and possibilities.

 

 

 

 

 

The same fear that came upon me when I was in the surf tank comes on me when I speak in public.As I get up to speak, I take the same approach to fear by looking at it with excitement and realizing the feeling will go away.At the moment we are about to do something adventurous, whether it is flying in the plane or jumping out of the plane, a rush of adrenaline surges through our body.It is telling us that we are doing something that needs our full attention.We are then fully alert and ready to dive into adventure with both feet.

 

 

 

Fear can be friend or foe.If we let fear rule us, it becomes our enemy.When we use fear to keep us alert and on our toes, we become prepared for any surprises along the way.Life is a journey and can be truly satisfying or unsatisfying.This week’s challenge is to find our purpose, be afraid and take action, use our imaginations, and live adventurously.Most of us don’t succeed, because we have given into fear.As we use fear to achieve our ultimate goals, success will be at our fingertips.

 

 

 

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.”

 

II Timothy 1:7

 

Positive New Language

 

“The words you choose to say something are just as important as the decision to speak.”

 

Unknown Author

 

 

 

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge it is shall eat the fruit of it [death or life].

 

Proverbs 18:21

 

 

 

When we speak uplifting words, our mood is more positive.The words we speak direct our life and remind us of how we are doing.If we say we can’t do something, most likely we won’t.Using positive words over and over opens up our minds to creative solutions.Think about death and life and how we can either create positive success with our words or kill success.Most of our success is up to us, because, when we start using negative language, we kill any opportunity for success.

 

 

 

Success starts with thoughts, but it can be made a reality with our words.As we think about an idea or solution, we positively talk about it and get even more ideas or we can squelch its success altogether.Of course not all ideas are worth keeping around, but, even when an idea is not great, the words we speak need to fuel our desire for success.

 

 

 

When I was in high school, I constantly spoke in the negative.It became my language, and it brought not only me down but others around me.My attitude always lined up with what I said.This, of course, means that I was constantly depressed.When I realized that my words were my problem, I started working on how I talked.This meant I needed to learn a new language.This language wasn’t English, Spanish, Italian, French, Chinese, or any other type of foreign language.It was a positive language that would bring me success and happiness.

 

 

 

Even now, I have to constantly work on what I say.As an adult and a parent, I am also aware of the people around me, especially my children.In the past twelve years, I have passed on my negative talk to my children.Now, I have to take the time to reprogram them and teach them my new positive language.This isn’t easy, because I still have moments where I slip and speak negatively.Well, as we all know, children usually do what they see their parents do.Fortunately, I’m getting better at speaking the positive language, so my children are getting better about what they say about themselves and their own situations.

 

 

 

There are ways that we can learn to speak a positive language.It will take time, but eventually it will get easier.This positive language can be learned by exchanging our negative talk with positive talk, watch what is influencing our positive language, find positive speaking friends, and use positive affirmations and meditation on a daily basis.These steps will help change our language, and, the more we use these steps, the more fluent we will become in our new positive language.

 

 

 

“But I tell you, on the day of judgment men will have to give account for every idle (inoperative, nonworking) word they speak.

 

 

 

For by your words you will be justified and acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned and sentenced.”

 

Matthew 12: 36, 37

 

 

 

The instant we say a negative word, we need to change it to a positive word.If we continue to say negative words, we will continue to think negative thoughts and our actions will be negative.This means we will have fewer successes in the long run.One way we can change our negative language is to think before we speak.If we do say a negative word, it is important to have a positive word to counter act the negative one.

 

 

 

There is one problem with switching negative talk with positive talk.Most people don’t know the positive talk vocabulary.This was something I had to learn. Although I have worked on speaking positive words for many years, I still mess up at times. For example, if there is a time I burn dinner, negative talk would be, “Well, that was stupid.”On the other hand, positive talk would be, “yeah, we get to go out to eat!”

 

 

 

The positive vocabulary doesn’t make us feel like total losers.Instead, we still feel good about ourselves and think creatively about the situation.In this situation, we can even laugh at our mistake and not punish ourselves.With this kind of talk and attitude, we can enjoy life and be an example of joy to everyone around us.

 

 

 

Another way to change our talk is to make a list of all the negative words we speak.While we go through our day, we need to take a small pad and pen with us and write down our negative words.Next, we will create two columns on a sheet of paper (more than one page may be required), and on the left side of the paper we will write all the negative words we used through the day.On the right hand side, we will think of new positive words we can use.The right column holds the key to our new positive language.We need to memorize every new word or phrase that replaces the old ones.

 

 

 

“The mind of the wise instructs his mouth, and adds learning and persuasiveness.”

 

Proverbs 16:23

 

 

 

There is a children’s song that talks about watching what we say, hear, and see.This is not just true for children.We need to all be careful of what is influencing us.Are we allowing outside influences to give us negative messages?If we hear a negative message, we need to immediately counteract it with a positive one.If we dwell on negative messages too long, they set up permanent residence in our mind and eventually seep out of our mouths.

 

 

 

This is why we have to guard our minds, eyes, and ears.We can do this by limiting our television time, listening to uplifting positive music, and reading books that encourage, motivate and use positive language.From time to time it’s okay to watch the news or read nonfictional and fictional books that don’t motivate, inspire, or use positive language.We just can’t make it a habit, because we can easily revert back to our old negative language when we see or hear too much negatively.

 

 

 

“Set a guard, O Lord, before my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.”

 

Psalm 141: 3

 

 

 

There is another way to learn a positive language and keep speaking positively, but it is not always easy and it takes a lot of hard work.This is finding positive, uplifting, and supportive friends.In today’s society, finding these kinds of friends is hard.Due to negativity’s strong pull, there are fewer positive people.When we do find positive friends, we need to cherish them.They are priceless and worth keeping.

 

 

 

Due to the fact that we can’t always have positive people around us, we need to try and help people in our lives to exchange negative talk with positive.If it is possible, we need to limit our time with the friends and family that bring us down.It is hard to separate yourself from friends and family that we have strong ties with, but it is important to the survival of our new positive language.

 

 

 

“For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days [good- whether apparent or not] keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile (treachery, deceit).”

 

I Peter 3:10

 

 

 

When we read or hear about positive affirmations and meditation, we usually laugh and think it is silly.Yet, positive affirmations and meditation have helped many people find true happiness and success.We use affirmations and meditation to replace the old negative language.Many people give themselves negative affirmations, so positive affirmations feel uncomfortable.

 

 

 

When I use positive affirmations, my joy and hope rises.There are times when I am feeling down and useless.At these times, using positive affirmations makes me feel happy and gives me hope.For example, if I am feeling bad about myself, I need to say, “I am doing what God created me to do.”When I say this affirmation, I feel excited and ready to face any difficulty.

 

 

 

Positive affirmations should be in the present tense and need to express an action.They should be spoken out loud two to three times a day.This isn’t done to tell God what you need, want, or who you are, but it is for your own benefit.As I said before, you are replacing the old negative language with new positive language.We need to say it over and over again, because the old messages are engrained in our minds and we are use to speaking in the negative.

 

 

 

Meditation is a great way to get positive thoughts into our minds.We can contemplate on our affirmations, scriptures, or inspirational quotes.This is done by taking the affirmation, scripture, or quote and thinking about it over and over again until it is permanently sketched on our brains.

 

 

 

As we use these techniques, we train our minds to think positively and our mouth to speak positively.Once we start building this new vocabulary, we will find ourselves automatically using positive words, even in difficult situations.This week’s challenge is to learn this new positive language and banish all negative vocabulary.

 

 

 

“Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.”

 

Ephesians 4:29

 

 

 

“The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will his world and the world at large.”

 

Confucius

 

Purpose

Our Purpose

And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [haunting] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.

So it is evident that it was essential that He be made like His brethren in every respect, in order that He might become a merciful (sympathetic) and faithful High Priest in the things related to God, to make atonement and propitiation for the people’s sins.

For because He Himself [in His humanity] has suffered in being tempted (tested and tried). He is able [immediately] to run to the cry of (assist, relieve) those who are being tempted and tested and tried [and who therefore and being exposed to suffering].

Hebrews 2:15, 17-18

We were in bondage when we came to Christ, but He sets us free. Now, we are free to live our lives with purpose. What most of us don’t understand is that a purposeless life leads to physical, emotions, mental, and spiritual stress. This can eventually lead to disorders, such as depression, headaches, and stomach aches. Living a life with purpose can relieve depression and minimize headaches, which I know from experience.

Our Dreams

To one he gave five talents [probably about $5,000], to another two, to another one – to each in proportion to his own personal ability. Then he departed and left the country.

Matthew 25:15

God gives each of us a purpose (dream). He gives us what He knows we can handle; as we use our talents, he increases our opportunities. He will only give us what we can handle. This is why we need to do our best in every job. It is important to use our talents and actively pursue God’s purpose for our lives.

He who received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he gained five talents more.

And likewise he who had received the two talents – he also gained two talents more.

But he who had received the one talent went and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

Matthew 25:16-19

The first two took their talents and increased them, but the third servant didn’t use his talent at all. Actually, the third servant buried his talent in the ground. Was the master happy with the third servant?

But his master answered him, You wicked and lazy and idle servant! Did you indeed know that I reap where I have not sowed and gather [grain] where I have not winnowed?

Then you should have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received what was my own with interest.

So take the talent away from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents.

Matthew 25:26-28

God says we are wicked, lazy and idle when we do not use our talents. Through the Bible God tells us to not be lazy. When we neglect our dreams and talents, we are guilty of laziness. Every day, we need to work on fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives.

When I was fifteen, God gave me a dream to be a teacher of the Word. It has been 22 years since I started dreaming. There have only been a few opportunities for me to teach. Last January, God spoke to me about my idleness. He said, I was at a crossroads and I needed to choose which direction I was going to go in. Suddenly, I realized that if I didn’t start using my talents, I would have a lot of regrets. Did I really want to get to the end of my life and feel unfulfilled? Absolutely not!

God went from allowing me to teach one class to teaching two, and then suddenly I had three. Suddenly, in September, I was teaching four Bible studies. Will I stop now? No way, I know God has a special plan for my life. I’m giving God my future, and I know he will increase my opportunities as I diligently pursue my purpose.

God doesn’t have big or small ministries: One person can have a job cleaning a church. He may pray as he cleans. While he’s cleaning the toilets, he may pray for each person that sits upon them. Maybe he will sing praises as he cleans the sanctuary and pray for the pastor as he polishes the pulpit. When he/she meets people at the store, he gives them a warm smile or witnesses boldly to the cashier. God doesn’t see this ministry as any less then the pastor who gets up each Sunday and preaches a salvation message.

Your Dream

· Do you have a dream?

· What is your dream?

· How long has it been since God gave you the dream?

· What steps have you taken toward your dream?

· Have you given up on your dream?

· What is keeping you from living your dream?

· Do you have an accountability partner? This is someone who will frequently check on your progress and make sure you’re fulfilling your dreams.

No Dream

· Ask God to give you a dream.

· Read a book on purpose (Myles Monroe is an example of an author that teaches on purpose).

· Read the Bible as much as possible (try to read every day), and ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to God’s purpose for your life.

· Do all your tasks diligently and joyfully.

Be open to the training God will put you through. Maybe God has another purpose for the janitor above. It could be that when he is faithful with his current duties, he will be given even more. For example, a door could be opened for him to become a missionary or an evangelist. God may give him the opportunity to pastor a church. The key is that whatever this janitor does, he gives it his all. God always rewards him for his faithfulness.

Just remember to do everything with a happy and content heart. God is more interested in your attitude and heart condition than what you do, because most of what we do is training. When we do our job with a pure heart, God will help us with the rest.

My Challenge to you: Pursue your purpose this Monday morning and be happy with each opportunity, whether big or small, that comes your way.

Perseverance

"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."

-Arnold H. Glasow

My name is Tina, and I have a personal mission. More than anything, I want to help inspire everyone to work on personal development, confidence, and leadership. This is what I've worked
on for the past twenty years. I’m on a journey to success, and I have come a long way.

It is my desire that you pour yourself a cup of coffee, sit down, and read my latest post. They will be posted each Monday morning before the craziness of everyday life begins. Mondays are usually extremely hard for people. A lot of people mumble and complain when they get up on Monday morning. This is why I have decided to write these blogs. Each blog is based on something I have worked on. There will be stories based on my own and others’ experiences. In these
blogs, I want to give a little bit of wisdom and a whole lot of inspiration.

There was a time that I had no confidence, no defined goals, and I had horrible fear of
people. Now, I have greatly increased my confidence, set and reached several goals, and I am able to talk to anyone without fear and trembling. This took a lot of hard work, but was worth it all.

When I was twenty, I could hardly step into a college class without an overwhelming sense of
failure. Each time I take a class now, I feel more confident. This is how I learned the importance of setting and working toward goals, which greatly increased my confidence. In the midst of working through setting and working on goals, I learned to persevere through any obstacle. There were classes that I thought I couldn't make it through, but, after persevering to the end, I actually made good grades. During this time, I learned that it wasn't about how smart or gifted I am, but how hard I worked and pushed through obstacles. This is true for anyone.

My dream is to help people as much as possible. No, I am not a counselor. This is information that I have studied, and it is something I have or am trying to apply to my own life. I'm a work in progress, and I will try to describe my own experiences that will hopefully become a map for your
own journey to success.

The first thing I want to talk about is never giving up. There have been times that it seemed easier to just throw in the towel. Of course, it might seem easier at the time, but the consequences would have hurt me later. This is something I try to keep in mind during hard times.

For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and
fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised. Hebrews 10:36

There is a story that illustrates this point. It is a personal story I use to help others understand the concept of never giving up and persevering through the most difficult situations. This story is hard for me to tell, but I know it is important for my personal development message. I truly hope this will clarify the importance of working through problems, because the prize is fulfillment and increased confidence.

One of the hardest times in my life was when my mom's health started to fail. She had always encouraged and supported me. Suddenly, I took on the caregiver role to my mom. Watching her suffer was excruciating. She would get better then she would take a turn for the worse. Her
body couldn’t ward off infection, so a cold or the flu was dangerous for her. Several times she ended up in the hospital, because her immune system was weak.

During one of her better times, I decided to go back to college and finally finish my undergraduate
degree. It took me several years to complete my senior year, because I would stop taking classes for various reasons. This was my chance to finally complete my college degree.

In summer 2008, I started back to school. My school work was difficult, because I had to take care of my children. Although my mom said she would help me, she started helping less and less. My Aunt Ellen, her older sister, helped a lot that summer by taking the kids outside to
play or watching them while I studied. Although this helped me tremendously, my mom's doctor appointments and her need for assistance increased, so this brought a lot more distractions that
interfered with my class work.

By fall of that year, my mom was in the hospital, and I was running between the hospital, my
daughter's school, and home with my four year old son. At this time, I had already started two
classes. During my hospital visits, I would do my homework while my mom spent time with my son. As her condition worsened, my stress level would increase. Every day was a challenge, and several times I felt like giving up and withdrawing from my classes.

Every time I felt like giving up, I would look at myself in the mirror and wonder what would happen if I dropped out. If I dropped out once more, I probably wouldn't return and receive my degree. This was a way to better myself and help create a better future. It also was an example to my children. Not only did I show them the importance of receiving a degree, but I also showed them how crucial it is to persevere through good and bad times. Most importantly, I felt it was what God wanted me to do, so I pushed through and found strength in my faith and family.

My mom passed away on November 25, 2008, and I graduated with my bachelors of science in the fall of 2009. Although my mom was not there to see me graduate, I know I made my mom extremely proud. My children were there to cheer for me, and my husband walked across the stage with me as I received my first college degree.

Now that I know how to persevere through horrible circumstances, I know that I will accomplish
much, much more. At this time, I do not have my masters, but I will not give up until I have my second college degree. It felt great to accomplish something that seemed so impossible. This is why I know that if I can set and reach goals, anyone can. It takes confidence, goal setting, and perseverance.

Plus, it takes faith and belief that God has a special plan for each of us, and that He will complete the work He has started in all of us. We are all masterpieces in the making. Now, my challenge to you is to persevere through all of Monday's obstacles and have a great rest of the week.

"That some achieve great success is proof to all that others can achieve it as well."

- Abraham Lincoln